: Chapter 33

I’m up before the sun, packing a basket with sugar-glazed muffins, apple tarts, and meat pies for Jax. I don’t think my cheeks have cooled since last night. The smell of the sugar and cinnamon in the bakery nearly makes me swoon.

I need to get a hold of myself.

But every time I think about the feel of Alek’s hands on my waist or his mouth against mine, my entire body seems to go weak.

If I follow you out to the barn, we won’t be sparring with pitchforks.

I brace my back against the wall beside the ovens and inhale deeply.

All I smell is sugar and cinnamon. I need to get outside.

The cool morning air is sharp against my cheeks, and it helps. I stroll down the dimly lit lane, expecting to hear clanging steel at any moment, but when I reach the workshop, the forge is cold and dark, the tools still hung in their places. I rap lightly at the door to the house, but there’s no answer, and when I ease the door open and call out his name, my voice only echoes.

I frown and exit the house, pulling the door closed behind me.

I take my basket with me, because I don’t want rodents to get into the food if no one is here. Worry forms a pit in my belly. I should’ve come last night to see if he was back.

As I walk back down the lane, I become aware of an unusual sound out in the woods. The sun hasn’t risen far enough for me to see much in the shadows, but the sound isn’t an animal. It’s not loud enough for an ax either. It’s like … like a branch breaking? Not quite repetitive.

Thwick. Thwick. A long pause. Thwick. Thwick.

A hunter? Or maybe a fur trader? I grab hold of my skirts and stride through the underbrush. We don’t often have hunters near the bakery, and when we do, I send them on their way. The last thing I need is Nora catching a wayward arrow.

I spot the man between the trees long before I get to him. He’s deeper into the woods than I expected, a good hundred yards, but the shape of a bow is unmistakable. He draws back the string with practiced efficiency, and a second later, I hear the arrow strike a tree somewhere in the distance. He’s barely more than a shadow in the early light, but I’m not being very quiet, and he turns, lowering the bow to his side.

“Callyn,” he says in surprise.

I stop short. “Jax?”

“What are you doing?” we both say at the same time.

I answer first. “I … I was bringing you food.” I pause, striding forward again to face him. “I heard about your father.”

Jax’s eyebrows go up, but his eyes skip away and his mouth forms a line. “Thank you.”

I glance down at the bow in his hands. There’s a leather bracer buckled around his left forearm and a quiver of arrows over his shoulder, and his crutches are leaning against a nearby tree.

“Your turn,” I prompt.

He glances at the bow as if he forgot it was there, and then the corner of his mouth quirks up. “Do you remember Lord Tycho?”

“Of course.”

His eyes lock on mine. “Right. Of course.” He pauses, and that tiny smile vanishes. “He taught me to shoot. I’ve been practicing.”

I look past him to discover targets set out in the distance, small panels of wood that have been nailed into tree trunks, with several suspended rings hanging here and there. The ropes look weather-worn, and several of the rings are spotted with rust.

I knew Jax and I had drifted apart, but with as busy as the bakery has been, I hadn’t really noticed how much time had passed. Seeing this seems to drive it home. “You’ve been doing this for a while,” I murmur.

“Not really,” he says casually, and I somehow forgot that low rasp in his voice when he’s uncertain. “I’ve only been out for a quarter hour.”

“No—I meant—” I shake my head. “Never mind. Are you all right?”

He nods, then shrugs, but his shoulders are tight. “They’re going to hold Da for a fortnight.”

I can’t tell how he feels about that. Things feel so awkward between us, and they’ve never been awkward. “Well—I said I’d make sure you had enough to eat—”

“I can hunt for my own food now.” A dark light sparks in his eyes. “But I’ll pay you for anything I take.”

“No! Jax, you don’t—I’m not—” I make a frustrated sound. “Forget it. I’ll leave the basket at the forge. When you need more, you know where to find me.”

I turn and head back out of the woods, my feet loud through the dense underbrush. I don’t know how he makes it through here on his crutches, because there’s hardly a path, but maybe he’s been getting a lot of practice at it.

“Callyn!” he calls, but I don’t stop.

After a moment, he swears, and I hear his crutches striking the ground. “Would you stop?” he snaps. “Clouds above, you know I can’t chase you.”

That makes me stop and turn, just as the sun breaks fully across the horizon, flooding the woods with buttery light. He’s actually pretty good at chasing me, because he’s nearly right on top of me when I turn. I’m not sure what about Jax looks different, but there’s … something. Some element of determination or confidence that never seemed to be lacking, but seems to radiate from him now.

He stops in front of me, and his hazel eyes are shadowed but earnest. “Cal. Whatever I’ve done … whatever happened between us … I’m sorry.”

I frown. He thinks he did something? He thinks I’m mad at him? “Jax—”

“I know you were anxious about the Truthbringers. But you were right. I asked for too much silver—and they found someone else to hold their messages. I was so relieved when you seemed to be getting more business—”

“Jax.”

“—even though we’re still scraping by for enough to pay the rest of what we owe.” He runs a hand across the back of his neck. “I know I’ve let you down, and I’m sorry. I don’t know how I’m going to keep up with the work when Da is locked up—”

“Jax.”

He breaks off. “What?”

My chest is tight and I can’t fully understand why. But I remember the panic in my gut yesterday, when the magistrate went galloping down the lane. I know I’ve missed my best friend. I stride forward and throw my arms around his neck.

“I’ve missed you,” I murmur.

He keeps hold of one crutch, but hugs me with his opposite arm. “I’ve missed you, too. I’ve had no company but Da, and you know how that goes.” His tone turns dark, and I remember how the magistrate was dragging his father yesterday. I wonder what happened between them.

I draw back to look at him. “But you just said you’ve been spending time with Lord Tycho.”

“Oh! No. Just a time or two.”

I tug at the quiver strap across his chest. “This seems like more than a time or two.”

“I’ve been practicing on my own.” A bit of pink finds his cheeks, and he glances away. “He’s very busy.”

I study him. He studies me back.

I hate that we’re uncomfortable with each other. I hate it.

I think of Lord Alek, how things are so different from the first night he came into the bakery. How I was ready to draw a knife on him that evening—and I was ready to tug him up the stairs to my room last night.

My own cheeks are probably turning pink.

“Well,” I say.

“Well.”

I don’t know how we’ve gotten to this point, but I don’t want to stay here.

“Do you want to come to the bakery for a bit?” I say in a rush. His eyebrows go up, and he hesitates, but I keep going. “Nora is still sleeping, but we could have breakfast. I mean—unless you don’t have time. I know you’re …” I glance past him, at the archery course he’s obviously set up. It’s a bit shocking, to think that he’s been doing something like this and I had no idea. “Ah … busy.”

For an instant he says nothing, but then he smiles. “I can spare some time.”

I brew tea and set the muffins out on my work table. Jax takes the stool where he always sits, placing his crutches against the wall where they always lean, only this time he leaves his bow and quiver there, too.

I shove the muffins in his direction, and he unbuckles the leather bracer before taking one.

While I pour the tea, I nod at … everything. “Tell me how that all happened.”

He tucks a loose lock of hair behind his ear and makes a face. “I’m … not sure, really. I told you about the day Lord Tycho brought Mercy up the lane for new shoes. Da was being … well, himself.” Jax frowns. “Tycho said he needed someone to accompany him to town to see about some repairs. I thought he was going to drag me out to the woods and leave me for dead.”

I remember him telling me. He said they talked. He said Alek showed up and fought with Tycho. Archery never made it into the conversation. “But he taught you to shoot?”

Jax smiles. “Well, not right away. I think … I think he’s lonely. A bit.”

I’m staring at him. I don’t think I’ve seen Jax blush like this since we used to whisper over Mother’s racy novels.

You fancy him, I said to Jax weeks ago. He didn’t deny it. He’s not denying it now.

He shrugs and takes a sip of his tea. “I’ve been practicing on my own. With Da’s old bow. I didn’t see Tycho for weeks. Months, really. I didn’t think I’d ever see him again.” That blush deepens on his cheeks. “Ah … until yesterday. Da was drunk and he came after me. Tycho stopped him. He took me into town and healed the worst of it. He was here with another man from the palace—Lord Jacob. They were looking for Alek. Honestly, Cal, I’m glad of how things turned out. You were right. It was too dangerous. I was taking too much of a risk. Maybe with Da locked up, I can scrape together enough coins to pay for next month. Your business has clearly been doing well with all the travelers, so—” He must notice my expression, because he breaks off. “What? What’s wrong?”

There’s too much. I don’t know what to say.

Nora chooses this moment to skip down the stairs. “Jax!” she cries.

He smiles. “Nora!” he teases. “Those hens still pecking your fingers off?”

“Every day,” she says dramatically. She sweeps into the room, her skirts spinning. “I need Cally-cal to marry a lord from the Crystal City so we can hire someone to—”

“Nora!” I snap.

“Oh, she’s marrying you off?” Jax says to me, smiling. “Do you have a line of suitors?”

My face feels frozen. They’re teasing, but it’s all too close to home.

“I told her to marry Lord Tycho,” Nora continues. “He was so handsome,” she sighs. “But he hasn’t been here in quite some time—”

“Nora,” I say quickly. “Muddy May needs milking.”

“I just put on my new skirt!” she says. “I don’t want to get straw everywhere.” She spins again, and I realize she is wearing a new skirt. It’s a deep maroon, with green ivy stitched along the hem. I wonder if Lord Alek or Lady Karyl brought it to her, and I’m deathly afraid she’ll volunteer this information next.

“Fine,” I say. “I’ll do it. Here. Have a muffin.”

She scoops one off the table and shoves half into her face.

Jax leans in to murmur, “What were you going to say? Are you short on silver, Cal? I can see what’s left of the stash I have buried.”

“We’re not short on silver,” Nora says brightly around a mouthful of muffin. “Lord Alek has been sending customers our way for weeks. Sometimes we run out of food and we have to turn them away.”

Jax goes very still. His eyes lock on mine.

“Jax,” I whisper.

“I thought he was scary,” Nora prattles on, “but he’s truly very kind. He brought me new boots last week.”

“Oh yeah?” Jax says tightly. His eyes don’t leave mine. “What else has he done?”

“He fixed the barn,” she says. “And the loose hinges on the door. Just there.” Her voice turns devious, and she cuts a glance at me. “And last night, I caught Cal kissing—”

“NORA.”

Jax is already off the stool, stooping to fetch the quiver and bow. His eyes are hard and ice cold.

“Wait,” I say. “Jax. Wait.”

He rounds on me. “All this time, and I thought you were mad at me for ruining it. I didn’t realize you’d taken my place.”

“No!” I cry. “That’s not it at all! He was going—he was going to hurt you—”

“Yet you were kissing him. Sounds like a great deal of concern went through your thoughts.”

“You don’t know anything about it!” I snap, but he’s already at the door, and he throws it wide.

“I do,” he says viciously. “I do know something about it. Because I was doing it, and I saw how he treated me, and I saw what he did to Lord Tycho. So whatever he’s told you, whatever he’s promised, it’s a lie, Callyn. I may have been using them for silver, but now they’re using you.” He gives me a pointed up-and-down glance. “For more than just passing notes, I’m assuming.”

I draw a sharp breath. “Don’t you dare.”

“You’re risking your neck,” he says. “At least I had nothing to lose.” He glances at Nora. “I don’t care how much silver he’s paying you. He’s conspiring against the Crown. He’s committing treason. And now you’re the one helping him. What will happen to your sister when you’re caught?”

“What?” Nora whispers.

“What if the king is using magic against the queen?” I snap. “You know what he did to my father. How is it treason if Alek is being loyal to the queen?”

Jax swears. “He got to you. Now you’re on their side. I should have figured.”

“You were also committing treason! And now you’re lusting after the King’s Courier!”

He flushes, but his eyes are full of nothing but anger. “You’re right. So turn me in. We can hang beside each other, just like you wanted.” Then he slams the door.

I throw a muffin at it.

It’s not satisfying.

Nora is staring at me with wide eyes. “Is he right? Are you committing treason?” she whispers.

“No,” I say sharply. “Of course not.”

For half a second, I expect her to start pelting me with questions, and I’m going to be tempted to throw myself into the ovens. I press my hand over the pendant that hangs over my heart and draw a slow breath.

Instead, my sister strides across the floor to wrap me up in a hug. “It’ll be all right,” she says, and it’s only then that I realize I’m crying. “It’ll be all right, Cally-cal.”

“I know,” I whisper, hugging her back.

But I really have no idea whether it will or not.