Lily&Cheap Alarm Clocks

Late again! My cheapo alarm clock didn't go off this morning. I was running behind to the job interview, Mr. Pretty Pants had told me about. I wasn't sure what the job was or what it paid, basically all the important details. In desperation, I couldn't miss this. I chose my favorite form fitting black slacks and vintage Chanel white blouse. I owe that thanks to the thrift store. Black strappy heels again. I thought I had enough time to stop at Dean and Deluca's for a French roast.

Shit! Ten minutes to spare. I started running the last two blocks to the address on the back of the card. I get to the steps of the building and in all my clumsy grace, I started to stumble. I didn't go down so that was good. The lid of my coffee slipped off though. Expensive coffee on my cheap blouse. I tried to cover the spot by holding my purse in front of the stain.

"M'am, which floor are the interviews,?" I managed to force that out.

"Oh, the fourth floor, but you might be too late. You're probably the last applicant to stroll in here. You can go up to the floor, but I can't promise anything."

"Okay, thanks." (You snotty twit)

I made to the fourth floor in haste. I find another desk at the floor entrance.

"Can I help you?"

Upon reading her name tag, "Yes, Rita. I'm here to interview for the job opening. I apologize for being late. I don't really have an excuse. I just really need this interview."

I'm practically begging her at this point. Maybe she was having a good day or maybe she could sympathize with the desperation.

"Okay, I'll allow it. Mr. Bonner stepped into his conference call. He should be done soon. I dismissed everyone who was waiting. You are the last applicant. Make it count!" She walked me into his office and had me sit in a fur armchair in front of his desk.

After waiting for five minutes, I did a once over of my outfit. Crap. Stupid French roast stain. So embarrassing. Think fast. Think fast. What do I have in my purse this time? I have a boy's size large dinosaur tee that I found at the rec center that was left by one of the senior's grandkids. It was like a snug fitted tee on me. I went with it. I take the Chanel blouse and twist it up to form a scarf. Okay, now I have an accessory. I slide off my heels and throw on my black chucks. I had packed those for the walk home. A regular Mary Poppins bag.

Hmm...what else can I do? Bingo! The neon green vending machine friendship bracelets. I had to go to the convenience store last week for tampons. I tried to get a knock off version of a Harry Potter stuffed animal from the claw machine. Nope. Plastic container of neon green bracelets. Right now I was looking like a hipster on laundry day. Seems like I give hipsters a lot of beef, but it's just because I'm so far from that.

"Bravo! You get an A for creativity. I have one question. What else do you have in that endless bag of tricks?"

Where the heck did he come from? I had failed to notice a side door to the office.

"So, how much of that did you see?," I asked.

"Umm..pretty much all of it."

"So like changing my shirt?"

"Maybe. Have a seat Lily Thomas. I have some questions to ask you."