Matt, Markdowns&Musings

Monday morning was here again. Michelle and I had spent the weekend wining and dining with NYC's upper crust. I felt a little out of it. A little off my game. It was a hard pill to swallow that Lily had moved on so quickly after our time together. I don't know what exactly I was expecting. I guess she had every right to after the news Nadia dropped on her. I did feel like at least she had a child that she could be happy about. I would have to be at peace with what happened to Lily Thomas.

The morning passed as usual. No hiccups. Rita was going to take her lunch break at noon today. I would be grabbing a quick lunch with Michelle at a bistro around the corner. She wanted to go through schedules one last time before announcing an official wedding date. The process was moving quite fast, but from what I understood you had to get a jump on these kind of things. When lunch was all done, we had set a date for in October, about 9 months out. I felt satisfied. Good lunch, good fiancé, and pending wedding date.

Instead of going out for lunch, apparently Rita had opted to eat a sandwich at her desk. I didn't care. That lady knew what she was doing. I noticed when I walked past her desk, she was sniffling a lot and tears were welling up in the corners of her eyes.

"Rita, is something wrong?"

"No, sir. I was just catching up on reading some blog posts."

"What are you referring to?"

"It's a blog I regularly read. The latest post was a real doozy. I just love her. She is one of the kindest people I've ever met."

"You've met this blogger? What's this thing called anyways. Maybe Michelle has read it?"

"Markdowns and Musings"

"Huh?"

"She finds bargains and gives fashion and beauty advice. She also has a forum for support or advice. I wish they had that when I was a young mom."

Rita starts to sob harder. Tears are fully streaming down her cheeks at this point. I'm not exactly sure how to react. Rita isn't too big on showing emotion, especially at work. I hand her a Kleenex from a box sitting on her desk. Her response is turn the computer screen around so I could read what she was crying over.

"Here," she points.

"Rita, seriously get it together. I don't want to read some lonely lady's cure to her unhappiness. Kind of pathetic, don't you think?"

"You should. YOU REALLY SHOULD!!"

She's shouting at me.

"Oh, Rita, come on. I'm going into my office now and get some work done. When did you become so emotional anyways?"

"Yes, sir. I'll write her a note later. I'll get to work."

We worked diligently until 5pm when I let Rita go for the day. I just had a couple of emails to respond to and then I would take off myself. I was headed to the coffee maker one last time while Rita was walking out the door. When I get back to my desk I find a note stuck to the computer monitor screen in Rita's handwriting. The note reads, "Markdowns and Musings." Gosh, dang it Rita. Really? What was getting her so worked up? I fire off the two emails, but I can't get the image of Rita's tears off my mind. Alright, well I just would have to google it. "Markdowns and Musings" was the first result that popped up and it was a blogging website. The site seems easy enough to navigate, but it's definitely not for me. It's all about cheap fashion and moms. I click on the "About Me" tab. Let's see who is behind all the hype. Yep. I know who that picture belongs to. It's one Lily Thomas. In the picture she's hugging the little girl from the grocery store. The caption states, "Me and my Matilda Rose."

The section goes on to describe why she started the blog. Well, actually her friend Tea started it but she changed the content and purpose around. The latest blog is entitled, "The Light That Shines Within." The post talks about being enough and how she found her passion. HOLD UP! What is the bit about thinking she was in love but wasn't. Was she talking about her daughter's father? Matilda Rose was named after the man she thought she loved. At the Organic Mart she called her daughter Mattie like it was a nickname. Mattie was 5 years old. I hadn't seen or talked to Lily in 5 years. Shut the f up! This doesn't mean what I think it does? I'm about to freak the hell out. I had no direct way of contacting Lily except through email. That wouldn't be right. Rita should have Lily's number.

"Hello sir."

"Hey Rita. You have something you want to tell me?"

"I take it you saw my note, sir. That's not my story to tell."

"Rita, just be honest with me. Is Mattie mine?"

"You desperately need to talk to Lily."

"Can you please give me her number. Please Rita."

"Okay. Do not say you got it from me. And Matt...make it right."

Make it right? You better believe Lily would make this right. What kind of human being lies about having a child by them? Ah, that's right, scum like Nadia. I wanted to be sick.

"Hello. You've reached Lily Thomas and Mattie too. Leave us a message, and we'll get back to you."

"Lily, this is Matthew Bonner. You know. Mattie's father. Call me back or expect papers from my lawyers in the morning."

I called back three more times to only get her voicemail every time.

"Lily, I'm not playing games. You have so much explaining to do. Why Lily? Why?"

I had left the office to my personal study at my house. Michelle lived in her own apartment. I was glad of that fact at the moment. This mess needed to be sorted out ASAP. I knocked back several shots of whiskey. As the booze kicked in, my tune slightly changed. I sounded less upset but more desperate.

"Lily please I need to see her. Lily she's mine. Whatever it is, Lily"

Next message- "Lily, I don't know where to go from here."

She didn't call me back Monday night. I was absolutely furious by Tuesday at the office.

"Rita, get my lawyers on the line, and patch them through."

"Right away, sir. Did you happen to make a phone call last night?"

"Rita, please, but yes I did."

"Lily is here to see you."

"She can go. She should have called me. I've got a call to my lawyers to handle."

She couldn't control the situation anymore. She had messed with the wrong one. Who the hell did she think she was? She was nothing. She came from nothing. She would always be nothing. No woman was going to screw me over again.