Lily&Her Plans

I had some surprises in store for myself over the past few months. I had scheduled a check up appointment for two days after I had initially called. It was a Wednesday. For all I knew it could have been IBS or low iron symptoms. I told myself to breathe.

"Ms. Thomas, what brings you in today?"

"Well for about 3 weeks, almost 4, I've been feeling nauseous. Everything smells. I want to nap every 5 seconds. I want to eat Squeeze Cheese and then scarf down a big bowl of Captain Crunch. You sure I didn't pick up a tapeworm in Italy?"

"You said you were only there a few hours. Italy is not a third world country. Have you missed a period lately?"

"Honestly, I'm not sure. I have PCOS and only one ovary as you know."

"Well, that means it's harder for you to get pregnant, but not impossible. I'm going to order a simple blood test and within about 10 to 15 minutes since our office is attached to the hospital, the lab we'll tell us your hcg levels. Have a seat in the waiting room and we'll call you in my office in a few."

My insides were like one big twisted pretzel ball of emotions. I sat back down in the crowded waiting room. I tried to tune out all the rowdy, screaming children.

"Can someone turn that TV up?" The receptionist turned up the volume.

"Billionaire to have an Heir. Matthew Bonner will wed NYC socialite Nadia Marmount."

The news reporter went on with all the details. Here I was in the office to see about a possible Bonner fathered child while the tv is announcing another. It was a surreal experience. I kind of zoned out until I heard the nurse call my name.

"Ms. Thomas, the doctor will see you in her office now."

It was the moment of truth. Either she would give me a script for ailment or I was going to be a mom.

"Ms. Thomas the hcg levels in your blood are consistent with a pregnancy just about 6 weeks along. Congrats." She loaded me up with a script of prenatal vitamins. The office staff helped me line an appointment for next month and out the door I went.

In my dingy apartment, I was trying to process all the information I learned that day. Matt Bonner was a dad to two babies. I was also carrying a Bonner baby. I made a stand right then and there. No way Matthew Bonner was going to control my life. No way was he going to treat the child, the way he treated me. I would do whatever it took to keep my child from that man. I fired off a text to Tea.

Lily: Tea text or call me back. I've got something important to tell you.

Tea: I know Lily I saw the news. He's Nadia's baby daddy.

Lily: No, Tea. That's not it. Well, some of it. It's bigger.

Tea: Not understanding

Lily: Remember how I barfed at the smell of your lunch?

Tea: I wish I could forget.

Lily: Come over this weekend and we'll catch up.

Tea: K, chica.

Saturday Tea game over in the evening. I ordered us a pizza and rented us a chick flick. I posted some of my college textbooks online and sold them for a decent price. I would pay for this evening and the extra would go directly to Tea. I was going to have to find more stuff to sell that I didn't need anymore. Tea brought over the popcorn&M&M's as dessert. Once we took our positions on the couch and started to get our grub on...

"So spill it. What's the juicy gossip?"

"Well, it's not gossip. It's true fact. I'm going to be a mama."

She almost choked on her pizza crust.

"Shut up, Lily. Stop playing."

"Bible. I swear."

"So do I know the baby daddy?"

"I'm not some skank, Tea. Of course it's Matt's. You are way too calm about all of this."

"Well, what am I supposed to do? You know I'm always going to have your back."

"Tea, I've got no job. I've been borrowing from you. My savings is basically tapped out. I don't even have any job leads. The only things to my name are Ramen noodles, a shabby wardrobe, and my collection of paperbacks."

"Let's brainstorm some before the movie. You've got your art history degree! So there's that!"

I knew my mother would be hysterical if I told her.  Her demeanor would be nothing like Tea's. She would throw that art history degree in my face. It would be made all about her. She would try to convince me that having children out of wedlock was sinful. She would go on and on about hurrying up and try to marry a man and it would all be okay.

"Tea, I'll never know what it's like to work for a museum. Besides, I'm not sure if that is my passion anymore..."

I had even quit teaching at the Jewish senior center. I couldn't stand trying to use art to make other people happy when I wasn't happy with it myself. All that combined with what I thought was going to be a 20,000 payday. I felt I could quit and have a back up.

"Well, what would make you happy if you had to do it everyday for the rest of your life?"

"Shopping."

"Don't we all wish! Hmm..."

"What's your fav thing to do when we have a long weekend and extra change laying around?"

"Thrifting!!"

"Yes. You're always thrifting for clothes. You find amazing, vintage pieces for little to nothing. Lily, your true passion is fashion."

"I don't see the correlation between my cheapskate shopping habits and providing a life for this baby."

"What if instead of me running my fashion blog, you did? I am getting swamped with my work at the Times. As you know I've taken on full time status. I've got sponsors and subscribers who pay me for the blog content. You could even do it through pregnancy and not have to worry about maternity leave.

"Tea, I can't take over your blog. You have worked so hard on that."

"Yeah, but you always encouraged me. You took pics for the posts. You spent your weekends combing flea markets and thrift store shelves for me. Come on. It's a no brainer!"

"Deal, but one day when I'm famous, you have to let me pay you back for all the times you've gone above and beyond for me."

We both broke out in therapeutic laughter.

"Tea, on a more serious note. Matt can't know that I'm pregnant."

"My Lily, I don't think that's a good idea, but I'll support you in whatever decision you make."

"Tea, you are the best."

"I know."

My obgyn visits turned from monthly to biweekly and then I was at the dang office once a week. I wondered if the nurses and doctors got a kick out of me waddling along towards the end. They kept telling me they were sure I was growing a line backer. Then when I had my anatomy scan, and revealed I was to have a little girl, they changed their tune. Now they were sure I'd have a gymnast.  The particular day that I was to get my final scan at 36 weeks the wait was rather long. A bunch of mothers had their babies overnight so everyone's schedule was pushed back. Normally I wouldn't mind the extra time as I could always use it to start or finish a good book. Today though, I was so scatter brained from having little rest due to my nighttime heartburn. I forgot to grab a book. Obviously, the heartburn was courtesy of the bun in my oven.

It was time for the noon news. Okay, I could work with that. The receptionist had switched it from some crazy soap opera. The reporters went through recaps of the world news, the local weather, and last up was entertainment news. "Billionaire Matthew Bonner is found to not be the father of NYC socialite Nadia Marmount's baby. Bonner will not sue Ms. Marmount for defamation. In a statement from his lawyers they said that Mr. Bonner is devastated with the knowledge of the child's true paternity. He asked for understanding during this time and that his privacy to be respected. So there you have it folks."

It wasn't going to be a game changer for me at least. Matthew Bonner wouldn't know that I was about to give birth soon to our daughter.