Chapter 42

I’m excited as I walk into the house. It’s been months since I’ve been back and I’ve missed the hell out of everyone. I’m excited to be spending Christmas at home. Asher helps me carry my luggage in carefully, and I know he’s already looking for Kate. I don’t need his help, but he insisted, as though it’s not obvious that he can’t wait a single second longer to see my sister again. I thought he’d get over her at college for sure, but he hasn’t. I haven’t seen him look at a single girl in months. It’s like he doesn’t even register them. I haven’t been much better, to be honest. Every time I got close to sleeping with someone, I ended up backing out. My Minx ruined me for everyone else. I’m excited to see her, and I’m excited to see what kind of shit she’ll get up to this time. I’m sure she’s been planning some absolute mayhem for me.

I walk into my bedroom and stare out the window, straight into hers. I expected to find her studying at her desk, or maybe not even there at all. What I find instead is her in some other guy’s arms. She’s standing in the middle of her bedroom, her lips against his. The way she’s kissing him is passionate and eager. It’s obvious that she’s learned a thing or two since I kissed her for the first time all those months ago. My heart feels like it’s been ripped right out of my chest.

“Carter?” my mom says. She puts her hand on my shoulder and I drag my eyes away from the show Emilia is unknowingly giving me. My mom glances out my window and looks at me with wide eyes before pulling my curtains shut. She looks awkward and then glances away before clearing her throat.

“How long has that been going on?” I ask, my voice low. Even I hear the barely restrained anger in my tone.

My mother looks at me apologetically, and I already know I’m not going to like the answer. “I think they’ve been together for two months or so?”

I stare down at my shoes. “I’ve only been at college for less than five months,” I say, more to myself than to her. It’s no wonder she said she didn’t want to do long-distance. Was she ever even serious about me at all? It sure didn’t take her long to start dating. I guess with me out of the way, she finally got what she wanted. I still remember how distraught she was when I crashed her date with Tony. I want to be happy for her, but I can’t. My heart feels fucking shattered. Maybe she was never really that concerned about Kate. Maybe it’s me she didn’t want.

“Come on, darling,” my mom says. “I made your favorite carrot cake.”

I follow her down the stairs and try my best to smile. I don’t want her to find out that Emilia has hurt me. I don’t want Emilia to know either. She and I were never together, she made sure of it. It’s better this way.

My mom fills me in on all the things I’ve missed, and it’s like I never even left. Just like usual, Emilia walks through the door around dinnertime, but this time she has a familiar-looking boy in tow. I think he was in her grade. At least this one isn’t scrawny as fuck. He’s got nothing on me, but at least he looks better than fucking Tony.

Emilia freezes when she sees me standing in the kitchen, her eyes going wide. She looks so fucking beautiful. How the hell is she more beautiful than in my memories?

“Carter,” she says. It takes her a couple of seconds, but then she walks up to me and hugs me. Her familiar smell assaults me and her body still fits against mine perfectly. I stand there, frozen. I don’t even hug her back. She pulls away quickly and looks at me, confused.

“Ah, Carter… this is Landon,” she says awkwardly. He steps up to me with a wide smile.

“Wow, Carter Clarke. We’ve never met before, but I’ve always looked up to you. You were a legend on the field, man. You still playing? I mean, yeah, of course you are.”

I nod at him and then glance back at Emilia, but she’s avoiding my gaze.

“How do you and Emilia know each other?” I ask, needing to hear it for myself. I see a flicker of panic in her eyes before she looks back down.

Landon throws his arm around Emilia and grins at me. “Oh, well, Emilia and I are dating.”

“I see,” I murmur. “Well… welcome to the family, London.”

He blinks. “Um, it’s Landon.”

I walk away and plop down on my sofa, wishing I was back at college. I’m so irrationally angry. Emilia and I never promised each other anything so I shouldn’t be upset, but damn, I am. Fuck. It’s not like I’ve been a saint while at USC. I told her I’d move on, and I’ve tried my best to do that. I’ve gone to parties and I’ve made out with girls, but I haven’t taken anyone on a fucking date. I haven’t given anyone my time or my attention, and I haven’t even slept with anyone. Meanwhile, Emilia has been dating someone else. She wouldn’t be my girlfriend, but she’s happy to be someone else’s. My fucked up mind can’t help but wonder if he knows her body better than I do. If she’s done things with him she’s never done with me. If she’s been on dates with him I’ll never get to take her on.

Him being here means she’s obviously introduced him to my parents and her dad, so it’s serious enough. What the fuck was she thinking bringing him into my house while I’m here? Did she ever care for me at all? How could she possibly think this wouldn’t hurt me?

Emilia approaches and sits down next to me, her thighs grazing mine. I glare at her and she shrinks back.

“Landon?” I ask.

She bites down on her lip and looks away as though she can’t face me. I sigh and shake my head.

“I didn’t know you’d be back today,” she says, as though that makes anything even remotely better. Would she have kept this from me if I hadn’t found out today? I wanted to surprise my family and her by showing up a few days earlier than planned. Who would’ve known I’d be the one ending up surprised?

“I hope you’re happy, Minx,” I mutter before walking away from her and straight out the door.