Chapter 35

Emilia walks in and pauses when she sees me sitting in the living room. I hate how stunning she looks. I hate how that dress she’s wearing hugs her body. I hate that all I want to do is walk up to her and kiss her silly. I want her in my arms with her hair tickling my neck. I hate how badly I want her — I still remember the way she felt wrapped around my dick, the way she moaned my name and the look in her eyes when she told me she wanted me. I can’t believe she slept with me and then told me she doesn’t want to date me. I offered her my heart on a silver platter, and she trampled all over it. I understand why she did it, but that doesn’t make it hurt any less.

“Hey,” she murmurs. She stands by the doorway instead of walking in, as though she wants to keep as much distance between us as possible. I look away and glance back at the TV.

“Uh, have you seen Kate?”

I don’t look up at her, even though my entire body is begging me to. I still have a small amount of pride left, and I cling to it with all my might.

“Nope.”

I see her fidget awkwardly from the corner of my eye, and I’m almost ready to give in. She seems fine with breaking my heart, yet I can’t even stand to see her feeling remotely uncomfortable.

“But it’s Wednesday. We haven’t missed marathon day in a while. Not since… not since Gabby.”

I falter and turn to look at her. Why does she have to be so beautiful? Her blonde hair shines golden in the sunlight coming in from the window, making her look like some sort of Goddess. Her eyes are darker than usual and she looks seductive as fuck. Emilia doesn’t usually wear much makeup, but today she looks a little dolled up. I can’t help but hope that it’s for me.

“Well, she’s not here,” I reply, looking away.

Emilia freezes, and it takes all my willpower to stay seated. I want to walk up to her and wrap her in my arms. I want to hug her and hold her close. I want to feel her lips against mine. Above all, I need just a small sign that she wants the same, yet she gives me nothing.

“Hey, you’re here,” Kate says. She almost walks into Emilia and drags her into the living room with her. “Oh, you’re wearing makeup.”

Emilia blushes and nods. “I did one of those YouTube tutorials you sent me. It was actually pretty hard.”

Kate squeals excitedly. “It looks so good though! I knew you’d get the hang of it quickly.”

Emilia nods and I roll my eyes. So it wasn’t for me then. She didn’t get dolled up for me. Why the hell do I keep getting my hopes up? I’m such a fucking loser.

Kate reaches for the remote control and I grab it to keep it out of her reach. “What the hell, Carter?” she shouts. She jumps up to grab it from me, but I hold on to it.

“What’s wrong with you? You know we always do marathon days on Wednesday.”

I shrug. “I don’t care. I’m watching TV. Go watch at Emilia’s house or something.”

The last thing I want is for Emilia to leave, but I know it’s probably better that she does. Part of me is hoping she’ll fight me, though. I want her to tell me I’m being a dick, to see that fire in her eyes as she demands that I hand over the remote. I glance over at her, but she’s sitting on the sofa demurely as though Kate and my antics have nothing to do with her. My mood plummets even further.

“How can you be so mean to me, Carter? I’m literally only asking for the TV on Wednesdays. You have it pretty much to yourself most other days. Just one day, damn it. Can’t you even give your sister that much?”

I roll my eyes. She’s always watching Netflix, not just on Wednesdays. I’m sick and tired of Kate’s shit. “I told you I don’t care. Go watch somewhere else. I’m watching the game.”

Kate crosses her arms and glares at me before throwing puppy eyes my way. Her expression goes back to rage when I don’t give in.

“Come on,” she says. “I’m not feeling that well. I think I might have a cold coming up. I just wanna lie down and chill for a bit.”

I glance at Emilia, who is finally smiling. Her eyes catch mine and she nods.

“Yeah, she’s totally got an upcoming cold,” she says, not at all convincingly. I stare Kate down and she purses her lips.

“I don’t see why you’d get priority access to the remote control just because you’re feeling ill, though. Just go to bed.”

Kate looks at me in disbelief and then looks at Emilia. “Milly, help me out here,” she pleads. Emilia hesitates and then rises to step closer to me. Her perfume washes over me and my heart instantly starts to race.

“Carter, please,” she says. “We always do marathon days on Wednesdays, and you know that.”

“I don’t care.” I shrug, looking her straight in the eye. Emilia looks startled, probably because I’ve always given in whenever she’s asked me something. Even Kate looks surprised.

She glances at Kate and smiles tightly. “Let’s just go to my house.” She turns to leave and I grab her hand to stop her. She looks back at me and I hand her the remote. I don’t want her to go. Even when I’m mad at her and I want to get a rise out of her, I still want her near.

“I can’t believe you two are being such cry babies about it,” I snap. Emilia’s lips turn up at the edges and she takes the remote from me. She looks up at me gratefully and it hits me right in the chest.

I’ll never be able to deny this girl anything. If our roles were reversed and she was the one asking me out, I’d never be able to say no. I’d do everything in my power to keep our relationship secret if that’s what it takes, but I’d never deny her. The fact that she can tells me enough about where I stand.

I need to get over Emilia. I need to nip my growing feelings in the bud. I need distance and I need space. I can’t be around her, at least not for a little while. I need to forget about her.