Chapter 18. And So It Comes

That night, sleep eluded Nisreen. She was very aware of the void Malik’s absence had created in the house. Earlier, when he had wished to be with her this very night, for always, she hadn’t been on board. Now, alone in the dark, listening to Sister muttered in her dreams, she missed Malik terribly. Her mind kept wandering to what it would be like if he was her mate. Her knowledge of intimate relations between males and females was limited. The topic was forbidden. Why? Why? Mama had told her, that her mate would explain things to her once they were mated. She thought that was stupid and she told Mama so. It hadn’t gone well. Mama had looked at her hard and said, “That is the way things are done.”

Nisreen had asked, “According to who?”

Before she answered, Mama had glanced away and then in a low hiss, she told her, “It is the way. Still, don’t rush Nisreen. Once you give your body to a male, it is no longer your own.”

These words had chilled Nisree and silenced her. Mama didn’t want to talk about that and the subject was closed.

Auntie had been a bit more forth coming. She had know the love of a male, lived within the confines of that love and then lost that love. When Nisreen asked Auntie about mating she had told her, “It is a fine thing if one has a kind mate. If not it is difficult. Malik is kind. It will be okay. I would tell you more but it is not my place.”

Walls, so many walls. Nisreen didn’t believe accepting ignorance was a good thing, ever. Kisses were sweet. Being held was sweet, but the act that lead to the creation of life was veiled in shadows. Every spring she saw the birds, squirrels and even the dragonflies carrying out the art of creation. What would it be like to be that close to Malik…to feel all his skin touch all of her skin? She rolled away from Sister and stared at the empty couch in the front room. He had been so close and now he was miles away. Was he thinking of her?

*

One day passed and then another. Everyone was waiting, praying and terrified. At breakfast, the week after Atticus death, a green messenger bird arrived with news. Cadence on her perch trilled at the sight of the green bird. Green was the color of the Killers’ messenger birds. These birds NEVER brought messages to Carrion Eaters. As soon as Papa took the rolled note off its leg, the bird leapt into the air and flew away. Carrion Eaters didn’t associate with Killers, not even in death. Papa unrolled the note, he said, “Someone has written, ‘Burl has it.” That was all it said. Nothing about what it was, but they all knew. Burl was one of the Killers, who had been chasing after Atticus and he was infected.

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Granny gave a low grunt of resignation. What she had predicted had happened. Auntie asked, “Why would someone want us to know?”

Uncle Possim, who was eating with them that morning said, “Not all Killers are evil.”

Angry Papa pounded his fist on the table and snarled, “Yes, they are. Every one of them.”

Uncle Possim didn’t protest, or respond. Silent, he got up from the table and went out the back door.

It was rare for Uncle Possim to verbally disagree with Papa, but when he did it made Papa furious and it upset Granny. In silence they each returned to their bone broth soup, even Nisreen. She like the rest knew that if Uncle Possim could he would pack up his medicine kit and head for the Killer’s gate. If he had been able bodied the only way to stop him would have to lock the trap door of trap of his hovel. If Malik was there would he have taken Uncle Possim to Killer’s Gate? Would he have defied Papa and risked their future? She didn’t know. Uncle Possim and Malik had gotten quite close over the last weeks. Nisreen gulped down the last of her broth and took her bowl to the basin. From the hook by the back door she grabbed her cloak.

In a loud and angry voice Papa said, “You won’t be helping him.”

Papa had never spoken to her like that. Nisreen didn’t answer. Hurt and anger tumbled inside of her. She slipped into her cloak and out the back door. The cold morning air struck her like a slap. Sunlight glittered on the snow. It crunched beneath her feet as she made her way to the shed. Inside the shed the trap door was open. She went down the ladder. Uncle Possim was slumped on his bench staring at the flame of his brazier. In a low hiss he said, “I don’t have the strength to make it to the Killer’s gate. I know that. Your father knows that too.” The next thing he said was so soft, Nisreen almost didn’t hear him. “I always wonder what I could do if I was not trapped in this body.”

Angry with his self rejection, Nisreen hissed, “Don’t talk like that. You have developed so many helpful things over the course of your life, in that body.”

He turned to her and said, “Yes, but I could do more if I weren’t so physically limited. I could walk from here to the Killer’s Gate on my own. If Malik were here he would take me. For me the best part about Malik being here was that he provided me with a freedom of movement I have never had. I talked to him about this matter. He is kind. I like you, need a home beyond the rule of brother, and the worries of my Mother. Malik has agreed to give us both shelter and a home when you mate him.”

Relief flooded Nisreen. Uncle Possim would have been the hardest to leave because though they didn’t share any blood relation, they were kindred spirits. She knelt down beside him and wrapped her arms around him. “Oh, Uncle, I am so glad.”