Khwahish- Pt 6

*****

There are some moments in life that you don't want to witness yet your eyes and brain refuse to listen to you and you stay frozen, all the while watching the one thing that you have dreamed of slipping from your hands as easily as water.

Masar leaned his head against the pillar, his eyes didn't leave Faeezah's form that was clad in a pine green coloured lehenga. Her face was shining brightly as her eyes looked at her hands that were being covered with the beautiful patterns of henna, something that Faeezah had loved since a very young age.

"Masha'Allah, kitni pyari lag rahi hai meri bachi!"

Falak took balaiya of her daughter who blushed at the amount of attention that was suddenly diverted her way. Falak placed a loving kiss on Faeezah's forehead and soon got busy with the tasks at hand.

It was a week since Humaid had visited and 5 days since the two had given their answers. It was a 'yes' from both sides. Humaid was more than ecstatic but the same couldn't be said about Faeezah. An unsettling feeling had set in her guts the moment she entered the Bukhari house after the uncomfortable silence with Masar and since then, the feeling wasn't ready to leave her.

Blaming it all on a bad mood, she had said a 'yes' in hopes of getting her spirits high and an excitement of what the future might hold but rather than that, it felt as though it kept increasing after every function and every word of congratulations that was sent her way.

Something wasn't right but what?

Masar had almost broken his knuckles while punching the boxing bag when the news arrived. Oh what a mess he was. Weak, crumbled, angry, vulnerable and enraged! Not on anyone but at himself. He shouldn't have let his heart guide him deeper into that unknown emotion even after a million rebellions from his brain.

All was his fault and his twisted fates!

Faeezah looked up from her hands that were almost done with being covered from the mehendi and unconsciously her eyes drifted towards the pillar where Masar stood looking at her with a neutral expression. Her smile faltered a little as she remembered their last encounter but keeping that memory aside, she smiled widely at him, hoping to get it back but all he did was give her a barely visible smile and walked out from the scene.

A frown made its way on Faeezah's features as she got hang of the dull energy that surrounded his usually cheerful aura.

Her emotions were already out of place and now looking at his state, her equal to non-existent excitement extinguished faster than a small flame of candle.

"Ma'am, should I include your fiance's name in the design?"

She heard the artist's voice and before she knew it, a response flew out of her mouth.

"Nahi! Uski zarurat nahi hai. Please keep it simple."

The henna artist looked a little hesitant since it was a ritual that the majority followed but anyhow, she complied with the to-be bride's wishes but before she could complete the design, a small tap on her shoulder made her look up.

Mayza nibbled on her bottom lips as her eyes darted from the retreating figure of her Masar bhai and then towards her Faeezah appi who was wearing a scowl on her features. She hesitantly turned around and found Ahzan already glaring at her.

"Do it!"

He mouthed at her and she could only gulp before walking up to the henna artist who had stopped in mid-design to listen to her words.

"Hathon mein ek chota sa 'M' bana de please."

Mayza pleaded with the henna artist and tried to keep her voice as low as possible but seeing the faraway look in Faeezah's eyes, she didn't think it was quite needed.

"But ma'am, the to-"

"Please! She is a little shy and didn't want to proceed with it, lekin main unki behen hu, mujhe pata hai what she wants."

Mayza whispered yet again with an urgent tone and with utmost reluctance, the artist gave a small nod and mingled the letter 'M' along the designs on Faeezah's palm and Mayza smiled in gratefulness at her before sprinting away from the scene, as if she hadn't played a major role in match making just a few seconds ago but in her defence, it was all Ahzan's idea who was currently looking more than pleased with himself.

"Main bata rahi hu, agar tera satke hue dimaag ki wajah se koi problem hui na ghar mein, phir tu aur main dono alag alag."

Ahzan gave a bored look to a panicking Mayza as she paced around with a horrified look. He sighed in annoyance before gripping her shoulders and stopping her in mid pace.

"Kuch nahi hoga, in fact, ghar mein bahot drama hone wala hai lekin usse pehle, I need to smack some sense in our real to-be brother-in-law's head."

Mayza gave an unsure look to Ahzan who just smacked her head lightly before whistling under his breath and going around in search of a certain someone.

*****

"Aaj sirf mehendi thi, baraat kal raat ko aayegi."

Ahzan said in a nonchalant tone as he looked at Masar who's already tensed form stiffened even more if possible. Ahzan smirked inwardly before poking the already wounded man in front of him, in hopes of getting the reaction he thinks he should've witnessed in the first place when he caught onto what was happening in his cousin brother's brain.

Ahzan wasn't blind, dumb or dense. He knew very well what the two were trying to hide or maybe deny. He was smart enough to catch onto the exchange of gazes and change of expressions when the two were near each other.

"Haan toh?"

Masar clenched his teeth, trying to ignore the pangs of jealousy and hurt from reflecting on his face.

"'Haan toh' matlab? Jaana nahi hai kya shopping pe or have you already found what sherwani you'd be wearing?"

Masar could only hum in response since he didn't give a penny about what he wore and what not. It wasn't like he was interested in witnessing his heart's mourning ceremony anyway.

"Waise bolna padega, Faeezah appi and Humaid jiju look very good together."

Ahzan highlighted the word 'jiju' more than necessary and the fury that lit in Masar heart's was indescribable. His eyes glared furiously at Ahzan who tried hard to not look smug and wash off the dust from his shoulders on the obvious victory of his plan.

"Shadi ab tak hui nahi hai."

Masar gripped the railing tightly as he fought the rage to scream those words out loud. His eyes clearly screamed the ferociousness that was bubbling within him but the guy beside him had a master's degree in playing with fire when it was at the highest intensity.

"Ho jayegi. Only 22 hours are left before Faeezah appi becomes Mrs. Faeezah Humaid-"

A harsh punch landed on Ahzan's guts and the latter fell on the ground with a loud thud. Ahzan groaned in pain as Masar yanked him forward by clutching his collars. Ahzan tried smiling cheekily but only winced when he observed the look on Masar's face. He gulped down the sudden urge to abort the mission and run as far as possible from the enraged beast but then again, where's the fun in that?

"Tujhe kyu itna gussa aa raha hai? It's not like you lo-"

"I LOVE HER! KHUSH?! BOL DIYA MAINE! BATA AB KYA KAREGA?"

Masar yelled out loud and Ahzan's once filled to the brim excitement reduced considerably when he saw fresh tears pouring down Masar's cheeks. His eyes held a red look, maybe due to all the tears that he had shed in the span of less than 48 hours.

"Masar-"

"Nahi! Thak gaya hu yaar yeh baat chupate chupate. It feels so darn heavy ki kabhi kabar lagta hai I might not be able to carry it for long, as if the sole reason for it to exist was to crumble me beneath its weight. Dil bahot dukh raha hai Ahzan. Ba-bahot zyada."

Masar's voice cracked towards the end as he fell on his knees. His tears flowing down his cheeks like never before and Ahzan found his heart being squeezed at the intensity in his sobs.

"Shhh, itna kyu ro raha hai? Shadi ab tak hui nahi hai, remember?"

"D-doesn't make any difference. She's happy about it and I would be damned if I became the reason for her ruined dreams."

"Masar-"

"Bas. Tu muh band rakhega apna jab tak she isn't wedded. You know nothing about my feelings because I FEEL NOTHING TOWARDS HER. Samjha?"

Ahzan tried arguing but seeing that his attempts would lead to absolutely nothing, he kept his mouth shut and only gave Masar a solemn nod.

Looks like things were going to go down the rough hill before he even had the chance to stop them.

*****

The wedding was roughly 10 hours away at this point.

The Bukhari and Sheikh family had together rented a hotel for the function, nothing too extravagant but since it was the first wedding of the second generation of the Bukhari clan, they wanted it to be special.

Faeezah was currently in the lobby of her 7th floor. She was on her way to the 6th floor to retrieve Mayza but was stopped abruptly when someone called her name.

"Faeezah."

The one called out turned when the familiar voice reached her ears. Faeezah looked in front of her and much to her surprise, Humaid's uncle, Jamshed stood ahead of her with a smile.

She had met his relatives a few hours back and one thing that she knew was that this particular man creeped her out. The glint in his eyes, the way he smiled, the expression on his face, all screamed danger.

"Ji. Aap ko kuch chahiye tha?"

She tried to be polite and took a few steps back. Her insides were bubbling with worry and she trusted her sixth sense more than her conscious mind.

(Sensitive content ahead.)

"Ek chota sa kaam tha tumse."

His voice sent chills down her spine as he took a step forward. Her feet seemed to have glued themselves to the ground and no matter how much she tried, her mind just wouldn't work. Goosebumps due to fear raised on her skin as she watched him getting closer.

His hands reached forward to place themselves on her shoulder, seemingly trying to show that the gesture was friendly but a girl knew which touch to trust and which to be repulsed of and this one gave the latter vibes.

"Humaid ne ladki toh achi dhundhi hai, bas-"

He glided his hands near the exposed skin of her neck and that's when she snapped. Her mind finally worked as she pushed him as hard as she could and stumbled a little on her feet due to fear.

Jamshed's eyes held immense anger and annoyance as he saw her trying to stabilise herself and make a run. Too bad, she was really slow when it came to collecting her emotions.

Faeezah's voice got stuck in her throat, she wanted to scream as Jamshed latched out on her hand but no, her words were lost, her neck felt as though it was being choked and all the air around her felt less for intake.

"Nah-ah, itna kya ghabrana?"

His tone didn't match his eyes. The evil glint in them made Faeezah internally thrash and scream but physically she felt helpless. Faeezah's hand was held in a bruising grip by the man in front of her and as she tried freeing herself, his raised his other hand and was almost going to touch Faeezah in a way that no one else had but before he could, loud yellings, curses and finally a rough grip pulled him away from her.

Faeezah stayed still in her place, her face as pale as a sheet of paper as if she had witnessed a ghost while the thundering commotion around her felt less to bring her out of her fearful haze.

"F-Faeezah?"

Falak tried to get her daughter out of her jumbled mind, her motherly instincts were just a second away from surfacing and she tried hard to control her hands from doing in the least bit of damage on the man that was being beaten black and blue by not just her husband but her nephew, son and brother-in-laws.

Faeezah looked at her mother with eyes that were still clouded with tears unshed but her throat still felt clogged and before she could handle herself, a blissful darkness engulfed her in it's embrace, as if it were sent to rescue her from this very moment.

**********

No, Faeezah's reaction was not dumb! She isn't stupid neither naive.

Please no hate comments about her becoming immobile when the vile creature tried touching her. If you haven't gone through it, then please refrain from telling exactly HOW she was supposed to react.

When one faces such a situation, their body goes numb, even a mere touch of discomfort from anyone and when it's intensity is high, the throat feels suffocated, as if the voice had been snatched from the person's voice box.

You know the irony here?

Most of you- I repeat MOST of you can sit through reading a heated and steamy sexual scene but can't stand the reality of sexual harassment for even a second. You feel embarrassed and close the thing- whether it be an article, a news report, a data, a graph, anything and question yourself why is it needed?

Funny, you talk about feminism and equality but no one is strong enough to open up about an issue that is faced by almost majority women at least once in their life.

You know the worst part? Women are told not to talk about this with anyone. They are forced to stay quiet and forget about it because if they spoke up, it would damage the family's reputation in the so-called society. As a result, 97% rapists and men who are accused of sexual harassment roam free around the world, as if they hadn't destroyed an innocent's life.

And then there are women who fully support females and then at the same time romanticize something that I have felt repulsed by for far too long.

You know the trope- 'The guy once molested the girl and a few years or months later he comes back, falls on his knees and begs for forgiveness and what does the girl do? Oh she is so kind hearted that she accepts his apology and the two live happily ever after'.

I am sorry for being blunt here BUT WHAT BULLSHIT IS THIS?!

Do you know how hard it is to recover from such a trauma? Do you know how the girl flinches even if the person closest to her tries to touch her? Do you know how the person blocks the rest of the world and the memories of that disgusting day keep surfacing every now and then?

DO YOU KNOW HOW TOUGH IT IS TO DEAL WITH THIS MESSED UP MENTALITY?

I can never understand what the authors think when they write such a thing or how can someone find this cute and romantic?

Which world are you living in? Grow up and face the real world. Face the fact that sexual harassment is a poison, a poison that at least 56% of the women face once in their life. Whether it be in childhood- yes, childhood, teenage years or after she had grown up.

I know most of you have left the chat till now, can't say anything apart from that, I hope you never experience such a thing in life, I hope you are safe and have not experienced something traumatic.

And to the ones who have read through this and reached here,

I wish you a safe life and IF you have gone through it, then trust me, YOU ARE SO BRAVE! Remember that your body belongs to YOU. Do not let a vile snake touch it and make you think that you are powerless.

You are more than a silent victim so SPEAK UP! You shouldn't be ashamed of it, no, the person who caused it should be!

Know that you are not alone, I am there with you, maybe not physically but I am mentally mature enough to understand this concept and provide every verbal support that your brave mind needs.

Words can act as poison, yes, but sometimes these very words heal wounds that are unseen and unforgettable.

Anytime someone tries touching you in the wrong way, remember this sentence,

Every BODY is a temple but not everyone is a saint.

TO ALL MY BRAVE QUEENS,

I LOVE EACH ONE OF YOU AND YOU ARE MORE THAN SOMEONE'S PLAYTHING. LET THIS TRADITION OF STAYING QUIET END ALL AT ONCE!

P.S: Please teach your younger siblings and teens and your kids that are currently growing up about the concept of safe and unsafe touch. Don't be ashamed to discuss this topic with your kids and siblings because trust me, one day they will thank you for this because you saved them from a storm that none of you would have seen coming.

Let this chain of illiteracy about sexual concepts end as soon as possible.

**********