Hamraaz- Pt 6

Darya watched the moving trees with a smile. The breeze had surrounded the place with its soothing caresses and a sigh escaped her lips. She sunk back into the love seat kept on the balcony. Her eyes glistened with tears but she held on tight on the pendant that lay gloriously around her neck.

Perhaps the only belonging that was gifted to her by him.

Four months had passed by since she got married and since she last saw or heard from him. Her heart cried everyday for a message, for a call or maybe, for his arrival at the doorstep.

The mountains he was assigned to had very bad weather throughout the year, one of the major reasons due to which the network there was worse than in the most back-class villages. Even getting a letter from him seemed impossible as the terrains were only limited to government officials and the air squad since the steepness was rough and a safe journey couldn't be guaranteed.

A soft whimper escaped her lips as she sat up straight. Her hand that had clutched the snow-flake shaped pendant didn't loosen its hold since every time she touched it, she felt his calming aura around her.

And even her eyes didn't know when tears had welled in them against her will.

*****

Darya fumbled with the ends of her veil as she sat waiting for Zamurad. The room smelt just like him, a rawness so undefined yet so tranquilizing. Her heart stilled as she heard the door knob being turned. Her once ragged breaths now came out in the most uneven of ways as she tried to pacify her heart into slowing down.

She felt the bed dip just in front of her. His knee touched hers as his deep voice broke the eerie silence around them.

"Assalamu alaikum."

His rich voice made an already nervous Darya almost have a panic attack but collecting herself, she gave out a meek reply.

And during all this, she failed to notice how dim his aura was.

She heard him take a deep breath and what felt like hours but was merely a few seconds passed by with anticipation and her veil was lifted. Zamurad almost knocked himself out cold as he looked at his wife.

A wife he thought could be anyone but her.

Oh what ways fate worked in!

His heart that was just beginning to come out of the heavy feeling of loneliness fell deeper into it as he realised what his tomorrow held.

Not a day on which he'd wake up with her in his arms, greeting her subah ba khair with wide smiles on both of their faces, their eyes gleaming with happiness but instead, he'd find himself miles away from his home and his wife in a place from where when he'd return was not certain.

Darya mustered a teeny weeny bit of courage and raised her head a little at look at him and wallah! He looked magnificent in the off-white sherwani that fit him perfectly, adding a royal touch to his enthralling self. His hair was dishevelled but what alarmed her was the look of distress in his eyes.

The uncertain feeling that creeped in along with her age old insecurity was completely on reflex and Darya found her mind swirling with thoughts of where she had gone wrong.

"Zamurad? A-Aap theek hai?"

Her voice came out as a scared little whisper, as if afraid that the slightest bit of voice would do more damage than maybe how much was already done.

Zamurad snapped out of his reverie and looked at her sorrow filled face. Guilt consumed his entire being and he felt like the worst of criminals who should be sentenced behind the bars for ages.

But then again, wasn't being separated from the person whom you dreamed to be with even after occupying the closest position to them the worst of punishments?

"Almost."

He whispered back and before Darya knew, he had closed the distance between them as he kissed her forehead. Her tensed shoulders relaxed at his gesture, his warm lips sending assurance filled warmth directly to her heart, her mind coming to a halt with its negative thoughts.

He pulled away, an indecipherable look glistened in his eyes as he tried to smile at her but couldn't even after it being a day that he had thought would just be a mere fantasy- something that he craved but couldn't have and when there he was, with the one he wanted to be with, destiny decided to show the most cruel of its faces.

"Won't you ask for your gift?"

He tried to ease the worries and the fears lurking around.

If he were to part with her today, then the last moments should definitely be ones filled with merriment. Departing with sweet nothings and caresses shared between the two would somehow ease his heart even if it was just for a few moments.

Darya's eyes brightened at the mention of a gift, something that felt too intimate when he was the one giving it to her. A blush rose up to her cheeks, something that now seemed natural with his presence around. A shy smile rested on her lips- a smile so serene and captivating that Zamurad felt his worries dissipating even if it was just for a second.

She gave him a nod and watched how he pulled out a small square box wrapped in shining silver. His eyes held the least bit of hesitancy as he forwarded the box to her.

Darya slowly took the box, her heart picked up speed as she tried to casually open the box, as if it didn't send tremors down her spine- tremors that she liked but found too surreal to acknowledge.

An awe filled gasp filled the room as she finally saw her gift. Her fingers traced the small diamonds that shone brightly when compared to the slightly dim room. The shape of it made it more beguiling. It was just like the snow flake that was sent down during the night to ease the worries of the beings afraid of the prevailing darkness.

Zamurad discreetly looked at his wrist watch that read 10 at night. He gulped, knowing that a few minutes were only left before he left his wife and his home behind to serve his country.

And who knows, mabe his heart too refused to accompany him on his journey.

Darya snapped out of her daze and a wide smile graced her lips. Her eyes brightened like a kid on the day of Eid and Zamurad felt his heart being crushed all over again.

How many days later would he be able to see it all again?

To hold her close, to share the small nothings of his life with her, to finally tell her the secret that was engraved deep in his mind.

Darya looked at him and the excitement was now overpowered by haya soo halal and enticing, that Zamurad didn't know if he could even muster up the courage to tell her the news of his departure.

A departure too soon and too brutal.

Darya slowly forwarded it back to him and Zamurad raised an eyebrow in question. Her eyes now looked directly at her burgundy lehenga as she whispered to him as if it were the biggest of secrets.

"Pehna de, please."

The words made Zamurad gulp. The situation might look nothing to someone but for the two, it felt like the most intense of intimacies.

He could only give a curt nod of restraint as he gently took the pendant that had reminded him of her more than on one occasion. He looked back at her, scooting a little closer, their knees touched more than just a brush and Darya clutched her lehenga a little tightly to stop herself from trembling for no utter reason at all.

But oh, maybe there was a reason- a reason so fallacious that their naive minds failed to register the intensity behind it.

Zamurad's fingers brushed against the exposed skin of her neck. He leaned in, his nose slightly angled just a few mms away from hers. Darya took a sharp breath in as she registered their position, her lips parted as she closed her eyes and heard the clasping of her first present from her husband.

Zamurad moved a little back, his eyes admired the sight of his pendant resting gloriously around his jaana's neck. He gulped yet again as he took in her serene features. The nose ring that rested just above her lips, swaying not even a little bit as though it was there only to tease him in the most unmerciful of ways. His fist clenched tightly as he mustered all the control that he had and pulled back because by Allah, if he were to ever touch his jaan, then it wouldn't be just to leave her alone the next second.

She was his most important priority and making her feel like an option was a sin in itself.

But why then couldn't he say no to his general?

Well, maybe because the soldier in him was against backing away from the battlegrounds at the call of its commander.

Darya felt emptiness seeping through as she felt him pull away. A little part of hers wished for things to elevate but even she knew she wasn't ready for it. Opening her eyes, she looked at her husband who wore the most conflicted of expressions and that was enough to snap Darya out of her dreamy haze.

"Zamurad, kya hua hai? Why do you look so frustrated? Did I do-"

"Shush."

He placed his forefinger against her lips, successfully blocking her words even though he'd have preferred other ways to do the task. He swallowed the lump in his throat as he shook his head in negative, a deep stone rested on his heart as he realised it was time.

"Darya, I-I have to leave."

Those words shook Darya's whole being. Her wide eyes looked alarmed, hurt and almost enraged as she stared at him. She bit her lower lips to control the sudden whirlwind of emotions that erupted in her heart and mind.

"Y-yeh aap, Z-Zamurad, h-how.."

She swallowed, not being able to form the right words. She felt a hand touching her cheeks and looked up. Her eyes brimmed with tears that had a mind of their own as they fell freely down her cheeks and Zamurad felt like the worst person on earth.

"Darya, jaana, please na ro. I promise, it's just for a little while. You wouldn't know when I return back to you. Just a separation of a few weeks and I'll come back to you. Aur jaunga bhi kaha jaana? You have me. All of me. Hamraaz ho tum meri. Na dil se dur, na dimag se aur ruh toh tumne pehle hi kabu mein kar rakhi hai. Just wait for me, please?"

And that was it.

Darya broke down in tears and Zamurad was quick to envelope her. His arms held her close to his heart as he chanted sweet nothings next to her ears. He gently took off her veil, while Darya just whimpered his hold. Freeing her hairs from the clutches of the rough clips, he detangled them with his fingers, soothing her tensed muscles but that did nothing to ease her heart.

"K-kyu ja rahe hai? A-abhi toh mile hai mujhe."

Zamurad didn't know if he could last long. His eyes fogged with tears but he refused to let go. He tightened his hold around his jaan, his heart weeping along with her while his mind didn't let any other thought apart from comforting her surface.

His traitorous eyes looked at his wrist watch once again and he knew he couldn't delay it any longer.

It was time to go.

"Darya, jaana, itna ro gi toh kaisa jaunga? Give me a little bit of that courage of yours."

He whispered next to her ears and Darya only shook her head, tightening her hold around his neck. Zamurad sighed, knowing that his words were of no use, so keeping a stone heart, he gently yet with firm force separated her from him. Darya's wide eyes that looked red from crying met his with a complaint so deep that Zamurad had to look away even after knowing that he was guilty.

Getting up, he quickly removed his duffle bag and packed the needed stuff. Just a few pairs of clothes and necessities. He changed from his sherwani into a pair of black hoodie and denim jeans.

The room was enveloped in silence as he picked his bag to leave. Darya still hadn't got up from her place, staring blankly at her fumbling fingers. Zamurad got on his knees in front of her, his hands softly gripped hers but Darya refused to look at him.

"Ja raha hu thode dino ke liye. Keep the pendant close to your heart and imagine me embracing you even if I am not physically present. Apna dil aur sukoon aapke haathon mein rakh kar ja raha ho jaana, khayal rakhna unka aur apna bhi."

Saying that, he kissed her forehead one last time before walking out of the room with heavy steps. As the sound of the door being closed resounded in the room, Darya finally looked up only to choke out a strangled sob as she hugged herself and sank deeper in the bed- the bed that smelt like him.

*****

It was that day and then it was today. He lied when he said that he would be gone only for a few weeks. It had been four months.

Four months of despair and late night cries. Her eyes looked swollen every morning and no matter how hard Azra and Aashna tried, a genuine smile of excitement never surfaced on her lips after his departure.

Maybe because she was still naraaz due to his lies or maybe because he walked out with her heart and soul in his clutches.

Wiping her stray tears, she draped the cerulean blue dupatta over her head and walked out of the room she had stuffed herself in since fajr.

Her steps seemed automatic as she reached the living room where the rest of the Radwan family sat but this time, their usual gloomy faces were replaced with smiles so bright and contagious, that Darya's sadness evaporated just a little to give space for a little bit of curiosity in her mind and heart.

"Finally! Hume toh laga welcome party ki tayariya mujhe hi karni padegi."

Azra let out an exasperated breath as she got up from her place and squealed in delight. Darya gave her a confused glance and looked at Aashna who seemed to have cried not long ago but the smile on her face depicted anything but sadness.

She opened her mouth to question what was happening but the sound of the door bell held her back and the loud shrieks of Azra had her jumping in surprise.

Curiosity got the best of her as she walked behind Azra to see who was so special that they had gotten the whole house in an uproar but Khuda! Whom she saw made her heart stop while her mind turned her sane side out and remained numb staring like a fool at her majazi khuda who seemed exhausted but most of all relieved.

She didn't take her eyes off him and as she blinked, he looked at her with a newfound intensity. His eyes glistened with a raw ferocity that looked so promising and destructive but oddly enough, they made her heart beat again at a pace incomprehensible.

As they stared at each other, Darya was the first to look away. Even though she knew the heat on her cheeks was as bright as the sun outside, her heart and mind were still naraaz and hence, not looking at him again, she walked towards the kitchen to get the refreshments leaving behind a longing Zamurad who knew it would take more than a while to pacify his jaan.

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Well, since it's a short story, I can't torture you guys and my characters for long...sadly....

Anyways, Zamurad is in for some serious wooing if he wants to pacify humari Darya. Bolo bolo, what should she do to torture him like he did to her?!

Like seriously, four freaking months!!...

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