Chapter Twenty-Six

Better Than Revenge

Chapter 26

As I had expected, Christian kept bothering me with presents. Flowers, chocolates, movies, CD’s, books, clothes, you name it.

It was kind of getting on my nerves. He was so materialistic. He didn’t realize that this couldn’t be resolved with objects. I supposed I couldn’t really blame him, though. He was a rich and famous actor. This was how he settled things. This was the way he lived. In his world, everything and everyone could be bought.

Eventually, though, he’d realize that my forgiveness and my affections couldn’t be bought. It’d take a lot more than just sweet gifts to crack me.

I had to admit, though, some of the gifts he gave me were definitely heart-melting. Garfield was the biggest example. He was just the cutest thing ever. I was obsessed with him, as was Tori. I brought him everywhere, refusing to leave him at home when neither Tori nor I was home. He was my little baby.

After a few more days of the shower of gifts, I told Christian that I needed time. I was still sore on the subject and I just needed some time to get over it. He seemed to have understood.

And he gave me time, yeah.

One week, to be exact. He clearly wasn't very patient.

And then, he went absolutely crazy. That was the only explanation I had. He had to have gone insane. There was no other way to describe it. What he was doing was just so… un-Christian-like that I had to keep pinching myself to make sure it was real.

First, he did something that I had been secretly waiting for—not in the sense that I longed for it, but in the sense that I needed it to let go of what had happened—he apologized.

And it wasn’t some lame, short and emotionless apology. It was deep. It was… well, it was real.

I didn’t think I would ever forget the moment I realized Christian Ryder… the emotionless Christian Ryder that I had grown to hate… had a heart.

I was hanging out with Tori in my trailer on set when I heard a knock on the door. Tori immediately sprung up, nearly tripping over Garfield, who was sprawled on the floor taking a nap. She always did this when she was on set. Seeing the actors from the movie still excited her just as much as it had the first day she came on set.

“I’ll get it,” she sang excitedly. I heard her quietly squeak as she opened the door, making me look up.

It was Christian, of course.

“I need to talk to Sophia,” he said simply.

Tori nodded in understanding. “Alone. Right?”

He just nodded in reply.

“Got it.” She clicked her tongue and walked over to Garfield. “Just gonna talk this little guy so you don’t almost trip over him like I did…”

Garfield meowed in protest since she must have woken him up and with a wink directed towards me, Tori left.

What was that? Since when was she Christian’s advocate? She was in love with the guy! Why was she winking at me?

This was so weird.

Christian cleared his throat noisily and I rolled my eyes. “Yes?” I asked, standing up and walking towards him.

He met me halfway and we stopped when we were close enough. He let out a loud breath. “Alright, now don’t kill me. I’m not good at this.”

“I can list many, many things you aren’t good at, but what are you referring to this time?”

His lips twitched upward and he couldn’t help but smile. We hadn’t been talking lately, really, and apparently he missed my sly insults.

What a freak.

What kind of person liked being insulted? He needed help. No, he needed to get his brain checked. There was something wrong up there, clearly.

“My lack of skills when it comes to apologizing,” he cleared up.

This took me by surprise. Just the word ‘apology’ in itself. I had been kind of hoping for an apology, but I had never gotten one. Not a formal one, at least. He might have said it when I blurted out the story, but I didn’t really count it.

I realized he was waiting for my response. I snapped out of my thoughts and said, “Go ahead, I guess.”

He nodded shortly. “Sophia… I’m so sorry. I know that saying sorry doesn’t make up for what I did back then, like, at all. They’re just words. My actions back then were horrible. I really don’t think there’s anything I could do to make up for it. I’m still going to try and I probably won’t ever stop trying, but I know it’s kind of impossible.”

I didn’t say anything. I just listened.

“I was a complete dumbass back then. Really. I guess since I was the popular, hot jock, I thought I was above everyone else. Popularity does that to you. High school does that to you, I guess. You know, maybe that’s why you’re such a good person. You weren’t like me. You didn’t let high school ruin you. You’re better than me in every way actually…”

I didn’t like where this was going. It was making it hard for me to keep that bubble of hatred I felt for him intact.

“I can’t believe I was ever capable of doing what I did. I hate thinking about it, because… egh. Just… just the thought of hurting you like that… God, I don’t know what you’re doing to me, Soph… even thinking of what I did to you hurts… and I know it shouldn’t because I was the one who hurt you, but I’m seriously so far fucking gone, it hurts…”

I wanted to avert my eyes, but I couldn’t. My eyes were locked. Was I hearing correctly? Was this actually happening?

I was having too many of these strange moments that made me believe I was in some other dimension or something… this was getting weird.

“What I did to you was completely unforgivable… I hate myself for what I did. I just… I fucking hate myself. I was a fucking moron back then.” He shook his head angrily. “I don’t deserve you, Soph. I know I don’t. But I honestly want you so bad that I’d be selfish enough to overlook that. I’m whipped… shit… and I know this isn’t even in the question and that I’d be lucky to just get your forgiveness… I don’t deserve that either. I don’t deserve anything. Maybe a few kicks in the balls, but that’s it.”

I couldn’t help but laugh a little. It was true. He did deserve that…

He looked at me warily, afraid he’d given me an idea before continuing. “I just needed you to hear my apology, at least, even if you don’t accept it.”

I didn’t know what to think. I wanted to believe that he wasn’t lying, because this apology was actually a really good one. And it felt real. But I didn’t know if I could believe in him.

I got an idea all of a sudden. I had always been good at telling when people were lying. Why wouldn’t I be able to figure it out now?

The answer was that there was absolutely no reason.

I thought back to his apology and picked apart every little thing he did.

He looked into my eyes the entire time. Never once did he look away. He blinked, of course, but this was normal. It didn’t mean he was lying. When people lie, they tend to decrease eye contact. It’s hard to look into someone’s eyes and lie to them. He looked at me the entire time.

He didn’t fiddle with anything nervously. Sure, he was most likely nervous so that might have been understandable, but he didn’t, so that was good.

None of what he said sounded like utter bullshit. There are some things people say that just don’t sound believable.

If he had gone all Romeo on me, telling me that I was like the sun, the moon and the stars or something, I would’ve questioned his truthfulness. But he didn’t. Instead, he sounded like a typical guy, complaining about being ‘whipped’.

There were tons of signs that could have been there but weren’t, which led me to believe that he was actually being honest.

I stood there as he awkwardly stared at me, gauging my reaction. It took a few more seconds after this for it to really sink in.

Christian was actually sorry. He actually meant what he said. He did have a conscience; he did have a heart; he was capable of feeling.

I began to feel an unfamiliar knot in my stomach. I didn’t know what it was, but I didn’t like it. It terrified me.

“I just… I don’t know, Christian. I don’t know if I can believe you!” This was a lie… I did believe him. “I don’t know if I can just forget what happened, okay? I don’t know!”

I shook my head and walked past him.

Just as I was about to leave the trailer, he spoke. “I’m going to keep trying, Soph. I’m not going to give up. I’m too far in to stop now.”

I didn’t even know what to say to that, so instead of replying, I just left.

***

The second thing Christian did happened the next day. Well, no, that wasn’t true. He did more than one thing, and those occurred over a time span of a few days.

First, he actually got on his knees and begged. I am not even kidding. He showed up at my apartment and got on his knees, begging for my forgiveness.

He didn’t cry, at least, but still.

“Get in here,” I cried, grabbing his arm and dragging him up. “For God’s sake! Have you gone crazy?”

“Yes. I blame you.”

I rolled my eyes and made him leave after that.

If everyone on set didn’t know about Christian’s attempts for forgiveness, they did after he got a skyline—yes, a skyline—and had an apology written in the sky for me. No one knew exactly why he was apologizing, but people were beginning to guess that Christian’s feelings towards me were no longer centered on hatred.

And as I continually shot him down, people saw that mine still were.

I’m so, so sorry, Soph. Please forgive me! :(

This is from Christian, by the way.

The last part of the skyline message did make me laugh, though. I’d give him that. He was so stupid sometimes.

Everyone on set made googly eyes at me for the rest of the day, besides Savannah, of course. She gave me more of a death glare.

This wasn’t where it ended, of course. Not even close.

Every hour of every day, I got a cheesy text from Christian.

Some of them were sweet.

Some of them were just cheesy.

And some of them were just plain Christian.

It's hard to imagine now that I once had a life that didn't have you in it. Even though you spend most of your time insulting me and making me feel awkward.

No one else can make me smile the way you do. If I’m feeling sad, I just think of you. :)

I must be a snowflake because I’m falling for you. :)

Hope you know CPR. You take my breath away. ;)

I’m reporting you to the police. You stole my heart!

You make me want to be a better man.

You’re the one for me, Soph… all of the other girls don’t even begin to compare to you.

I’m never going to let you go. I don’t think I can.

Somebody better call God. He’s missing an angel. ;)

Life without you would be like a broken pencil… pointless.

I’m whipped, okay? More whipped than whipped cream. That sounded better in my head…

Are these texts too cheesy? I’ve never done this. I don’t know what I’m doing. My mom doesn’t know what she’s talking about either…

These never stopped coming in, mind you. The day after the skyline message, it got worse.

If everyone in the world didn’t know about Christian’s attempts for forgiveness, they did after he went on national TV and apologized to me.

Yes.

Christian Ryder went on national TV and apologized.

He went on Janet Wilde and publicly apologized.

“I just wanted to say something real quick,” Christian said at the end of the show. “Sophia Elizabeth Hastings… if you’re watching this… I wanted to tell you again how sorry I am. I’ll never stop apologizing. I know you all think she’s in the wrong for hating me, but she’s not. I deserve it. I did her wrong and I deserve all of her hatred. But I’ll never stop showing you and telling you how sorry I am, Soph.”

I was with Tori when we saw this. I’m sure you can imagine how that went.

“Aww, Soph! Look! He’s sorry! That is so cute! First the skyline message, then this?! Ohmygosh! You have to forgive him! That is so, so cute! Ohmygosh!”

Tori was more into this whole thing than I was…

“I’m going to bed,” I said simply, walking away and heading toward my room.

“But Soph!” Tori cried, running after me. “You have to forgive him! Come on!”

“I don’t know, okay?” I shook my head and walked into my room, shutting the door behind me.

I was actually starting to soften up to the idea of forgiving him. I obviously wasn’t going to suddenly proclaim my love for him because that love didn’t exist, but I was starting to think that maybe he did deserve forgiveness. He had changed; that much was clear. He wasn’t the same guy he was in high school. Everyone deserved a second chance, I supposed… even Christian Ryder. It wasn’t fair of me to keep holding this grudge after all of this… he deserved forgiveness, I supposed.

And he would get it.

Just not yet.

I was going to torture him a little more. I knew he would keep making attempts, so I would just wait it out, I supposed.

After going on national television, the press was going crazy, of course. They were either immediately assuming Christian was in love with me or questioning it.

There were no questions needed when he went on Oprah and discussed his feelings.

Yes.

He went on Oprah… of all shows… and told her all about his feelings…

I had to listen to Tori yap about forgiving him after this, as well. Oprah was one of her favorite shows for some reason and the fact that Christian talked about his feelings with her just made Tori happy inside, apparently.

The two biggest things that he did were just… out of this world. They didn’t even compare to Oprah or going on national TV.

He made his old friends apologize to me. No joke. He had them come on set and apologize for what they did and said to me.

I didn’t really believe in their apologies, of course, but it didn’t matter. Well, maybe one or two of the guys were being sincere, but the others were most likely only doing it because Christian forced them to. But just the fact that he cared enough to force them to was enough for me.

Even bigger than that? He went to my mom and apologized to her for hurting me. He was gone for two days and Nora didn’t mention why. She just said he had something to do. It wasn’t until my mom called me and told me that I found out. We had a time difference between us so she called around three in the morning. I was absolutely speechless when she told me and the conversation was short.

I sat in my bed, just thinking, for half an hour. I knew at that moment that I couldn’t drag this out any longer. The guy had done enough. More than enough, honestly. He was being so un-Christian-like, it was crazy.

So with a resolute nod, I sent Christian a text that most likely made his day.

Er, night.

I knew it would have been better to tell him in person, but I wanted to just get it over with and I was not going to go to his house at three in the morning.

So instead, I just texted him a simple, I forgive you.

***

Although I'm still angry at a certian fictional character at mine, I have to admit, I'm turning him into quite the softie, eh?

So, so amusing. xD

Oh, btw, sprittals98, if you are reading this... as you can see, I LOVED YOUR IDEAS. xD Sorry if my using them offended you. xD

Anyways, what do you guys think? Was that enough groveling on his part? ;)

I'LL TRY TO REPLY TO ALL OF THE COMMENTS THIS TIME!!!

Challenge accepted!

BRING IT ON, WATTPADERS!

;D