Chapter 2

Sadly, it was dinnertime and Faith got home just a little after Ronnie and his parents arrived. And as much as the anxiety had gone away during the day with Mira, it had come back at least three times worse. Her chest hurt, her palms were sweaty and her throat dry. She felt jittery and couldn't help but to pick the skin around her fingernails and cuticles. Taking a deep breath, she got ready to walk into the dining room, gathering the courage to face the judging eyes of the guests as well as of her own parents.

She greeted everyone as they sat around the table. During dinner, she didn't utter a word unless spoken to, and no one addressed the elephant in the room, which she was thankful for. As much as it was awkward for her and Ronnie, it was comforting that everyone else was acting normally, or at least trying to. She certainly wasn't expecting the dinner to feel so normal, but nonetheless she was extremely grateful for it. It made her feel that maybe normalcy was finally finding its way back into her life. That maybe, all of this would feel like a weird and distorted dream in no time. As if nothing had ever happened.

Sitting right across from her, Ronnie looked as polished as usual. Impeccably dressed in a grey tailored suit, his sand blonde hair perfectly combed and his blue eyes standing out behind his glasses. He was undeniably good looking, and clearly, the separation hadn't affected his appearance. Whereas Faith couldn't help but to glance at her own reflection on the windows and realize that she didn't even bother to change for dinner. She was still wearing the same worn-out light wash jeans and white t-shirt she had on when she went out with Mira. Despite Mira's efforts to put her in a cute outfit, Faith ended up going for her go to combo of jeans and t-shirt. Her hair also was at an awkward shoulder length that she felt was very unflattering on her face shape.

After cancelling the wedding and turning her own life upside down, Faith decided to chop off a bunch of her hair. Every time she looked at her long gold wavy locks, she was reminded of her reflection in the mirror while trying on the wedding dress. It reminded her of the nauseating feeling she had experienced while looking at herself in that gown. It reminded her of the person she was desperately trying to be and of how far she was from becoming her. She couldn't stand it anymore, so, on a whim, she grabbed a pair of scissors and gave herself somewhat of a wonky bob cut. It looked somewhat okay at first, but as her hair started to grow, the wonkiness was starting to become more noticeable. I really need to go to a hairdresser and fix this... She sighed as she glanced one last time at the reflexion on the window and tugged a strand of hair behind the ear as if that would somehow hide the unevenness.

"Can we talk?" Ronnie asked as he caught Faith trying to sneak up the stairs without anyone noticing.

Without the courage to say a word, Faith just nodded, and they went outside. In silence, they walked towards the orchard, stopping by the barn where the workers kept their tools, and they sat on a bench. There were cold sweats taking over her body, and she wasn't sure the dinner would stay in her stomach.

"Are you sure it wasn't just cold feet, Fay?" He asked with a calm voice and yet Faith felt herself freeze.

She glanced at Ronnie. He seemed maybe a little loss and confused, but not hurt. Not heartbroken. He definitely didn't look as hurt as someone should be in their situation. It seemed as if he was just trying to rationalize all that had happened between them. It didn't seem like he was trying to fight for them. There's no point in fight for a love that has never been there to begin with... Looking at him made Faith even more sure of her decision. What she had done was the best for both of them.

"You know it wasn't," her voice trembled and cracked. "We've been over this."

"Maybe if we had just waited a little longer. Maybe it was just too soon to start thinking about marriage." His tone was emotionless. He didn't sound angry or sad, and yet Faith was struggling to even look at him. She still couldn't come to terms with her decision. She felt like she had let everyone down. However, at the same time, there was a voice inside of her that assured her she had made the right choice, and that time would eventually heal everything. That voice had been there since the beginning of her relationship with Ronnie, and yet she kept pushing it down for the sake of doing what she thought was the right thing and what was expected of her. But it didn't matter what she did to conceal that voice, eventually it became too loud to ignore.

"I don't think so. It wouldn't've made a difference. As cheesy and unrealistic as it may sound, I want to find someone that makes me feel butterflies and all that weird stuff. And you should find someone that makes you feel like that too. I know you will, Ronnie. You deserve to. But that person isn't me." We both deserve something real...

"Fine." He sighed. "You're right." Ronnie got up, but before he left, he placed a tender kiss on Faith's forehead. Her heart skunked as she felt his lips on her skin, and just for a split seconded she wondered if she had indeed made the right choice. He clearly wasn't a bad guy, and he had done nothing wrong, and yet, Faith couldn't bring herself to love him and see a future with him. Maybe I'm the one who's broken... Maybe I just threw away my one chance...

As she watched him walk away, tears started rolling down her face. Lost in her thoughts and tears, she didn't hear the barn door open and was caught off guard when the cute gardener from earlier walked out and showed her a tender smile. Even between her tears, Faith couldn't help but to notice that Mira was indeed right. He was quite attractive.

"Still working? Isn't it too late?" Faith asked with a fake smile while trying to dry her tears in a hurry.

"I like to work here. Lost track of time." The man reached inside his backpack and took out a thermos. "Coffee. I just made it. I know it's late, but do you want some?" Faith nodded. "Can I sit?"

"Sure."

The man sat beside Faith and gave her a cup of warm coffee. His jawline was quite defined under the short stubble, and he had light amber eyes and a charming, sweet smile. He looked like he was in late twenties, early thirties, but Faith couldn't quite figure it out under the dim lights. And she still couldn't shake the feeling that she had seen his face somewhere before.

"Oh wow. It's really good." The coffee was strong, it had a lot of flavour and body, but without being too bitter. It rivalled with the coffee that Lydia made her every morning, but still not quite as good. Although it was surprising how similar they tasted. It was good to have something else to focus on, aside from the awkwardness of wondering who the gardener was and how much of the conversation he had heard.

"Glad you like it."

Faith drank another sip of the drink and wondered why he had made coffee so late at night. Although, to her, it wouldn't make a difference drinking it or not. She could fall asleep at any time, anywhere. Maybe he's like that too. She thought.

"How much did you hear?" She blurted out, unable to keep it in any longer. Mira's bluntness must be contagious.

"I don't know what you're talking about." He winked and smiled.

Faith showed him a timid smile as she took another sip. "There must be something terribly wrong with me." The words started to pour out of her. It wasn't like Faith to talk to strangers, or to talk to anyone, as a matter of fact. But for some reason she couldn't keep the words in. "I ran away from the perfect fairytale. And now here I am, crying, and hoping I'll get a second change at finding one." Immediately regretting her words, Faith hid her face behind her cup of coffee.

"If you felt like running away, then it wasn't a fairytale, was it?" He said calmly. Faith looked up at him. He smiled tenderly and then took a sip of his coffee.

Faith felt a thump in her heart that made her look away. It made her forget for a split second what had happened, or why she was there and that the man beside her was a complete stranger. She gulped before taking another sip.

"I need to apologize. For earlier today. I've not been feeling like myself these last few weeks. We started off with the wrong foot."

"No hard feelings."

"Faith Peterson, nice to meet you." She reached her hand out to him. He grabbed her hand, and she couldn't help but notice how tiny her hand felt compared to his.

"Dr Grant. I mean. Callum Grant. Force of habit, I guess," he chuckled nervously. There was a certain naïve adorableness to him that didn't seem to match his appearance.

"You're a doctor?" Faith couldn't disguise her surprise.

"I am. Was. I'm on a sabbatical, I suppose. Paediatrician. I'm taking a break."

"How did you end up working here during your sabbatical?"

"That's a story for another day," he smiled. "It's late, and it's getting cold. You should go back inside. I'll walk you home." Faith wasn't good at reading people. She often missed some social cues, but even she was able to notice the change in his eyes. She had touched a chord. He looked as carefree and kind as he did before, but a certain roughness took over his gaze.

Suddenly, a light lit up in Faith's brain. "Wait. Grant? A doctor? Are you Mr Grant's nephew?"

Kade Grant was the man in charge of taking care of everything around the Peterson farm and also managed the staff. Kade had been working for the Peterson family for as long as Lydia had, and Faith knew him since she was little. Despite being a man of few words that mostly kept to himself, he had always been extremely kind to Faith. Kade, despite preferring working alone and in silence, would always have the patience to answer Faith's questions about flowers and plants and the different types of soils and fertilizers. When she was little, she used to roam around the property following him around, like a little duck chasing after its mother, asking him questions about everything nature related, and he would gladly indulge her curiosity.

Callum chuckled at how surprised she was. "Yes."

"I knew you looked familiar. I've seen pictures of you."

"And I've heard a lot about you from my uncle."

"Oh god... Do I even want to know?"

"Only good things. I promise."

"Why do I have a hard time believing in that?" She menacingly narrowed her eyes. "I'll need to have a conversation with Mr Grant tomorrow."

"I swear he only told me good things and nothing too embarrassing."

"Nothing too embarrassing? Oh god... Now I really need to know," Faith grumbled and Callum chuckled. "But wait. Why didn't he introduce us? I'm a bit disappointed with Mr Grant." Faith thought of Kade as family, so she couldn't help but to be a bit saddened that he hadn't introduced her to his nephew. Kade's family lived faraway, and he was the one who usually went to visit them and not the other way around, so Faith never had the chance of meeting anyone before. And despite Kade being a lone wolf, she knew how much he valued and loved his family, and that having a nephew staying with him made him very happy, even if he would never say it out loud.

"I think he thought about it," Callum said hesitantly. "He said you weren't available. That you've been busy and that we would end up meeting, eventually. That there was no reason to bother you."

"Oh..." Faith was unable to say anything else. It was true that she had spent weeks stuck inside, hiding from everything and everyone, only leaving her room to work and eat and run. Mr Grant tried to be considered of her, as he always was, and so, he didn't want to bother her with the nephew that was in town visiting him. Her heart ached. She had so many kind people around her, worried about her, and yet she had selfishly kept them as far away from her as she possibly could for the past two months.

They walked in silence until they reached the garden and the back door of the house.

"Good night, Faith." A shiver went through her body as Callum said her name and smiled. Must be the wind... She thought, wrapping her arms around herself while losing herself in his honey-coloured eyes.

"Good night, Dr Grant," she mumbled. And again, there was a flicker in his gaze as she called him Dr Grant, making her regret saying it. Why didn't I just say Callum? But despite the gloominess in his eyes, he kindly smiled and waved goodbye as he walked away from the property.

What is a doctor doing working as a gardener? She wondered as she saw him disappear into the night.