CHAPTER 15: Rambling At 2:37 am

CHAPTER 15: Rambling at 2: 37am

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Ella slumped in her chair tiredly as she attended her class, she couldn't wait for lunchtime, her mistake/breakfast was a small cup of coffee and a bagel and now her stomach was whining for more food. She couldn't peacefully fantasize about her lunch because annoyingly enough, today her professor Mr Allen told them to work in pairs for their assigned project.

The classroom had an even number of students, so no one was left behind. A list of topics and student names was circulated in the class and when it reached Ella she scribbled her signature in the column next to it but before passing it onto the next person, she checked who else shared her topic.

Neo Conroy. Ella's gaze looked for the distinct face that matched with the name in their busy class, her sweeping eyes stopped on him, only to find him looking back at her as he was sitting a few benches ahead and had to turn around in his seat to find her.

Ella knew him as her classmate and the familiar guy who frequents the library. He was tall with dark hair and brown eyes and always wore hoodies that looked awfully comfy on him.

Recently she remembered the time when she took Eddy, her coworker's shift at the very last moment and was late to open the library doors, Neo was there waiting outside, looking pissed.

Ella smiled and waved at him, in hopes of being friendly to her new project partner. He merely looked away, but the next thing she knew, he picked up his bag and came to sit next to her to work together.

Neo and she have been in the same class since the beginning of the first year but they never really engaged in a conversation or any group activity together. Come to think of it, they never even exchanged names, but their class was tiny, so naturally, everybody knew everyone else.

"Hy Neo!" She greeted him warmly and he nodded back at her.

"Have you stopped frequenting the library? You're rarely seen there these days." For a moment he looked surprised that she noticed his quiet presence there, but brushed it off soon.

"Yes..." He said. His voice was deep and cold.

"I've noticed the books you issue seem very interesting, many of them are on my 'to-read' list." She told him, praising his taste.

"Can we focus on the project, for now, Ellen?" He said sternly and she frowned. A moment passed as she recovered.

"It's Ella, not Ellen." She corrected him.

"Right." He mumbled, looking absolutely unfazed as he looked away. Discouraged by his frosty attitude, Ella decided to focus on their work instead.

"Let's read up on the topic, it seems interesting to me." She said and when didn't receive a reply, looked down at her thick book of body language and opened it to look for a certain topic.

Neo on the other hand worked on his laptop, he scrolled and typed occasionally as he browsed through information, but not once did he turn to talk to her to discuss or ask her opinion.

It was settled.... her project partner was a rude blockhead and she was stuck with him for the next two months.

Time seemed to move slower now and Ella hated it immensely. This went on until lunchtime finally arrived, putting her out of her misery.

Sitting in the cafeteria Ella munched on her unhealthy lunch of cheeseburgers and fries trying to banish vexatious thoughts from her mind. Her friends were running late according to the texts on her phone and she was clearly bored of waiting around for someone to join her for lunch.

When Nora fought a crowd and got to their table she slammed a piece of paper on the flat surface in front of Ella, scaring the crap out of her. "Dan has some work and I have no idea where Jay is." She added.

"What the-! Nora, you almost spilt my ice-tea!" Ella exclaimed as she hugged her ice-tea close to her chest while the table rattled like it's been hit by an earthquake.

Nora dismissed her and took a seat calmly while slurping her smoothie. "I've done some investigation," she said pointing at the piece of paper she had.

It was a very small list that ended just as it began. It was a list of names and Ella looked at it as curiosity got the better of her. Elliot Warren, Elliot Green and Elliot Matthew. A few things added up in Ella's mind.

"What?! Nora, his name is not really Elliot, he said it was the name of his favourite fictional character." She told her and Nora frowned.

"How was I supposed to know that, in the letter, he signed as 'Elliot' so I just thought..." Nora explained.

"I get what you thought. I should have told you... We never really exchanged names, he knows me as Annie." I told her.

"From 'Sleepless in Seattle'?" she asked to confirm and Ella nodded, both of them smiling wide.

"Shucks, this is harder than I thought..." Nora sighed. "Have you heard anything from him?"

"I got another letter." She admitted. "He said he didn't show up because he wanted to maintain anonymity."

"That sounds shady, to be honest." Said Nora.

"I have to agree." Ella nodded.

"Are you positive his name is not Elliot? Because it's still a possibility you know...What if his name is actually Elliot and he's just hiding it to throw you off?"

"Don't know for sure... but sounds unlikely."

"Do you know anything about him for sure?" Nora rolled her eyes at her friend with disappointment. A moment passed in silence as they ate and thought. "I'm still wondering how he managed to get the journal back if he didn't know you..." Ella shrugged, not giving it much of a thought. "Do you think we should confirm them anyway, just in case the fictional name is a cover?" Nora asked, holding up the list.

Ella thought about it for a moment and then nodded, it was the only lead they had anyway, and this was a matter of safety, "I guess there's no harm in that..."

"That's what I'm talking about." Nora smiled excitedly but Ella realised it was a mistake the moment Nora pulled out a pair of binoculars from her bag.

Mission Abort! Abort!

"No! No way! I take that back, we are not doing this." Ella said, shaking her head in strong disapproval.

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The day ended without anything fun or interesting and Ella thought of all those days similar to today that she lived but has no memory of. She just breezed through them without a highlight and she thought she wanted today to be different. Ella sat in her bed looking out towards the sky where a few stars winked at her while crickets chirped sharply, interrupting the silence of the night at regular intervals.

She went to her desk to grab a paper and pen and pulled out a familiar envelope from the drawer. Sitting down in her chair she switched on the table lamp as she went over his last letter again, wanting to write back while her thoughts were still fresh in her head. Late nights seem to be the time when her mind was most alive.

Ella sat amidst the calm with chaos within her. She picked up the pen gently and allowed the ink to streak her thoughts out on the dull white paper.

29-Sept-2018

Dear Elliot,

When I sat there waiting under the willow tree with my eyes on the horizon, another day quickly passed like it always does. The sun went down, painting the sky shades of marmalade and somewhere within I felt like it betrayed me in some way, does that make sense? I'm not sure.

They say 'good things come to those who wait' and I realised even if what I was waiting for didn't come, it was not nothing.

Somewhere, something told me you were not going to show up, call it instinct or something else... but I stayed there just in case I was wrong. I wanted to be wrong. So badly.

Waiting gave me so much time to think and understand and actually appreciate small things that I usually take for granted. Like the beauty of silence, the subtle melody of a gentle breeze and the rarity of solitude.

It gave me time to imagine and wonder and to make up a small world inside my head and so, among other things, my mind found moments to wonder about you...

I have so many questions for you (about you), it's weird to know someone's secrets without knowing them at all. When we meet someone, it's always introductions first...we find out their name, age, likes, dislikes and so on.... usually in that order, but with you, it's all haphazardly thrown out of sequence.

I wondered what you look like? What do you sound like? If you talk the way you write? Would it be awkward for us to meet? Would I think that we should have just stuck to letters?

Since you never showed up, the curiosity within me has only peaked.

I thought of interactions I've had with other people and wondered what ours would be like... Would it be awkwardly humbling or comfortably convoluted? Would the conversation flow uninterrupted like inconsequential banter or would it be deep and heavy that makes you think of the meaning of life and beyond?

Maybe it'll be something entirely different, something that would stray and tangle, get interrupted by thoughtful pauses and would probably come together in the end. But who knows?

I wanted to rid myself of these questions and fill my head with new ones, but now they are more prominent than ever.

I was also curious about what happened with your lady love? Did that ever work out for you? And what about your brother, why do you guys have a complicated relationship? Your letters were filled with such forlorn hope, a part of me desperately wanted everything to be okay.

I accept your apology, albeit reluctantly because I don't fully understand your reasons. I can however identify with your confusion, it is somewhat a similar struggle that I experienced when I found your journal.

And I'm sorry I didn't take your feelings into account. (But you have to agree, writing to a stranger is a bit scary, you could be a shady guy for all I know...)

I'm glad to know you don't want to lose this 'connection' that we have built, truth be told... your letters have become a faithful companion, they ease my suffering on a bad day, just like the journal did.

Sorry for the emotional rambling, it's 2:37 am on a particularly cold day and I couldn't sleep, my thoughts kept bothering me, but now my bed is calling my name and I can't resist.

Sleepily,

Annie.

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