My Dark Desire: Chapter 46

The Sun manor resembled a gingerbread house in my tipsy state.

Snow swirled together on the windowsills like thick frosting. I swayed back and forth in Dallas’ heels, flinching when the limo door slammed shut behind me.

The silly plastic tiara toppled off my head. I crouched to pick it up, stumbling back when Natalie stormed out before I could touch it, clutching manila files to her chest.

“Oh.” Her lips curved down. “You’re back.”

As always, she seemed impeccably put-together and freakishly unhappy.

I returned the tiara to my head, tossing the duffel bag Dallas gifted me over my shoulder. “You sound disappointed.”

Natalie had given me shit since my first shift. Usually, I let it roll off my shoulders, even when she accidentally and habitually spilled her drinks for me to clean.

“I am disappointed.” She pivoted, following me back into the house. “Before you came along, we were getting to know each other.”

I dropped the duffel at the stairs, heading to the kitchen for a glass of water, only half-listening to her.

She shadowed me, uncomfortably close to my heels. “We were forming something until you confused him with your… your…”

She sucked in a breath, giving me a once-over, trying to figure out what Zach saw in me.

Whoa. Déjà vu.

“Did Constance raise you, too?” I kicked my heels off in the hall, brain a bit fuzzy, but vaguely remembering Zach loathed shoes in the house.

Natalie ignored me, stomping her feet at the kitchen’s entrance, gesturing up and down my body. “I don’t even know what he sees.”

I snatched a tall glass from the dishwasher and filled it with tap water, bringing the rim to my lips. “Very mature.”

“You need to get lost. He’s engaged. She will never let him keep you around.”

Ha.

If only Natalie knew that neither I nor Zach planned on seeing much of each other after the next few weeks. Not that it mattered much to Eileen.

She’d been the one to request a clause that allowed extramarital dating, just in case she ever got over her aversion to people.

“Thanks for the advice, Natalie, but Zach doesn’t like randos here after hours.” I wiggled my fingers her way. “Toodles.”

“Wait… You don’t actually think he’s into you, do you?”

No.

Yes.

Maybe a little.

I knew his body liked me. And that his mind enjoyed my company. But I also knew the same could be said about sex toys.

I didn’t answer her question, dumping the leftover water and soaping up the glass.

“You know you’re just a toy for him.” She observed me with a crescent smile, trying to gauge if her poisonous arrow hit anything vital. “I see you guys sneaking around the house. You’re just his plaything. Eileen’s the real deal.”

I kept my expression neutral, rinsing off the suds, telling myself what I always told myself whenever Reggie informed me that she needed to bleach her eyes after looking at me.

Hatred isn’t about what you lack. It’s about someone finding something they want in you and realizing they can’t take it.

“Still don’t believe me?” She hissed out a laugh. “Look at him with you, then look at him with Eileen. That’s all the answer you need.”

I set the glass down in the sink with too much force. It cracked, a tiny shard tunneling its way into my palm.

I was bleeding.

Inside and out.

Why, Fae? Why? It’s just an arrangement.

But it wasn’t.

And it was time I admitted it.

I kept my hand in the sink so Natalie couldn’t see it. Forever an injured animal fighting to save face.

I feigned a smile, the buzz wearing off. “Is that all?”

“Maybe check the dining room.” Natalie hitched a shoulder up, dissatisfied I didn’t burst into tears. “It’ll wipe that smug look off your face.”

Idid not, in fact, check the dining room.

First, I checked Zach’s office, taking the stairs two at a time, itching to end the magical night with him.

The doors swung against the stoppers as I burst into the room. He’d installed them there a few weeks ago, after the first time he’d witnessed me rattle the shelves bracketing the doorframe.

I ambled into the room, barefoot, checking left and right, stopping to stroke a Go stone.

Not here.

Next, I strolled to his bedroom, knocking first.

No answer.

I cracked the door open, peeking my head in to glance at his bed. Still made.

With a huff, I began moving room to room, coming up empty. I trudged downstairs, headed to the one room I didn’t want to check on principle.

But as I approached the dining room, the soft clink of utensils drifted my way. I twisted my wrist to check my watch. Ten. Zach always ate dinner at seven.

My legs carried me forward. Soft light spilled into the hallway. Live music caressed my ears. Violins. Flutes. A freakin’ harp.

A tidal wave of delectable scents crashed into me. Lasagna. Cinnamon pudding. Candied bacon. All my favorites.

Zach knew this. I’d once told him after he caught me moving a stone in our never-ending Go game.

Anything that tastes like somebody else’s family. So, I can close my eyes and pretend I have one, too.

A seed of excitement planted in my belly, sprouting roots.

No way. Did he…?

I skipped to the doorway, the tiara clinging on for dear life. It tumbled to the rug when I rounded the corner, coming to a halt.

My heart crashed to my ribs with it. It was a wonder how something so painful could be so silent.

Zach sat at the long table, his back to me, eating dinner with Eileen. A lovely pale-pink gown draped over her lithe frame.

The room spun, a blur of red. Roses. Everywhere. Choking the room like a bloodbath. And the candles. God, the candles—lighting up every inch of the place.

I froze in place, unable to move.

Natalie’s words bounced between my ears.

Look at him with you, then look at him with her .

They were sharing a romantic dinner.

He was courting her.

Courting was never part of the contract.

I’d read the entire thing. Even peeked behind his back at the track changes on the Word doc.

Eileen leaned over the table, whispering something to Zach, who sat ramrod straight. I could see the moment she noticed me.

A small grin played on her lips. She maintained eye contact with me as she threw her head back and laughed at something he said.

Now I got it. Natalie’s smugness. Her warning.

She knew what I was stepping into.

I treaded backward, bumping into a lamp. The thud rang in the air, just as the ensemble played its last note of Beethoven. I caught the lamp at the last minute before it fell to the floor.

Zach’s head snapped up. “Farrow.”

Our eyes met.

I didn’t know why, but I couldn’t move. I couldn’t even bear the thought of facing him. Not now.

Back away. Leave. Abort mission.

And still, my feet remained rooted to the hardwood.

He stood, rushing to me. The sudden movement spurred me into motion. I ran. Sprinted faster than I’d ever run. Straight toward my beatdown Prius.

As I burst out of the mansion, I realized I had nowhere to go. My so-called family wouldn’t have me.

I didn’t want them, either.

Dallas.

Her name shotgunned through my head.

Dallas would give me shelter.

Zach sauntered behind me as I changed direction, making my way to the Costa mansion.

“Farrow.” He picked up pace, probably realizing I had a target now. “Where do you think you’re going?”

It began to drizzle, the rain tap-tapping my face as we trekked up the half-mile driveway.

His footsteps paused, hesitated a beat, then continued to crunch behind me. “I’m talking to you.”

I flipped him the bird without turning, picking up speed toward the Costa mansion. “I know. I just wish you wouldn’t.”

“What, pray tell, have I done now to piss you off?”

Is this dude serious?

I could hear his teeth grind together as he tried to catch my shoulder. I dodged, always faster. The rain intensified. Icy water seeped into my clothes .

“Go back to your date.”

“Farrow, come here.”

Screw this.

I refused to let him treat me like a dog.

I reached Dallas’ door and banged on it loud enough to wake the dead. Zach clawed at my shoulder, turning me around.

I saw him through a curtain of raindrops, hair slicked back and wet, face dark as thunder. His designer suit clung to his powerful body, and for a second, I found myself jealous of fabric.

“We need to return to the house.” He shivered, but I wasn’t sure if it was from the cold. “Now.”

“I’m not your business.”

“You literally are.”

Ugh.

Dammit.

“I’m off hours,” I amended. “I can do whatever I want. And what I want is to not be within stabbing distance of you.”

Footsteps approached from the other side of the door.

Zach squinted up to the sky, flinched at the rain, then lowered his eyes to me again. “I can explain, if you just let me⁠—”

The door swung open.

Romeo Costa filled the frame, approximately the size of a T-54 tank. “What’s going on here?”

“Nothing.” Zach clasped my arm, his fingers frozen. “Farrow and I were just leaving.”

“I’d like to spend the night in your house,” I blurted out.

Romeo’s expression shifted from irritation to confusion. “Ah, fuck.” He ran a hand over his face. “Shortbread collecting strays again. She promised to stop after the fourth kitty.”

“She’s no stray, and she isn’t staying, either.” Zach tugged me again. “Come on, Farrow.”

I kept my attention on Romeo, standing my ground. “Can you call Dal?”

I knew I wasn’t being fair. Zach and I had a deal, and so far, only I had broken it. But I couldn’t help it.

Did he have to court Eileen in his house? He had the means to take her to the moon if he wanted to. He didn’t have to throw her in my face time and time again.

Why do you care? And how could he possibly know that you care?

God, I really needed to confront these pesky feelings head-on.

One day. Just not now.

Romeo turned to Zach, brow raised .

I frowned. “Did you really just ask your friend for permission? Are you five?”

“Not helping your case,” Romeo said at the same time Zach drawled out, “No.”

I jerked my arm away. “Yes.”

Zach glared at Romeo. “I’ll short your new pharmaceutical company.”

“I can’t, man.” He seemed genuinely apologetic. “Shortbread will make caviar out of my sperm, and we’re not done having children.”

“Farrow, please.” Zach spat out the word like it was acid in his mouth. “We need to get back inside.”

I finally turned to face him. “Why?”

“Because.” Zach sent a quick glance to Romeo, his ears turning a little a pink, hidden by the fast pellets of rain.

I popped a brow. “Yes?”

“Because I cannot fucking stand the rain.” He threw his hands in the air. “Happy, now? I’m triggered. PTSD’d. Whatever you want to call it. I have never—in the past twenty-one years—been out when it rained.”

The rain turned into hail, striking every inch of our skin.

I couldn’t believe what I’d just heard.

Romeo cleared his throat. “I’m going to leave you two to it…” He slid the door shut, pausing before the click. “Farrow, let me know if you still need a place to crash.”

Zach and I remained standing before one another. We were both panting hard. I had an idea. A terrible idea. But one that needed to be executed, nonetheless.

I reached into my pocket, checking for the metal object. “You want to explain yourself?”

He stuck his hand in his hair and tugged, flinging raindrops everywhere. “Desperately.”

“Let’s run to my Prius. I’ll drive.”

“I don’t—” He clamped his mouth shut.

“You’re ready, Zach. It’s time.” I grabbed his arms. “I’m here to heal you, right? So heal.”

He closed his eyes, screwing his fingers into their sockets. “This deal has a lot of strings attached to it.”

“We’re one big messy knot, Mr. Sun. Deal with it.”