Volume 2 - CH 12.2

It was the first summer festival since Yuuri and I broke up.

I was there with four of my high school friends, Miyabi, Kotone, and Sayuki. I have been going to this summer festival since I was really young, but this is the first time Yuuri is not next to me.

After all, I still feel sad that that person is not next to me.

———

The first semester was nothing but hell for me.

Every day I was shown Yuuri and Kanade talking amicably with each other. And I was completely ignored by Yuuri. More than once I wondered if Yuuri really couldn’t see me.

I even tried to talk to Yuuri with all my courage, but every time I tried to talk to Yuuri, I found that Kanade was completely blinded by Yuuri. But each time I tried, Kanade would distract Yuuri, and I would always miss the timing.

In the end, I still haven’t given up on Yuuri. I don’t want to be lovers. I just want to be a childhood friend again.

The proof of this is that I have yet to tell my mom that we broke up. Of course, she probably already knows that we’ve broken up.

However, there has been a change in my mind.

I had begun to think that I wanted to love Kouki positively.

After Yuuri rejected me, Kouki started to call me at home and even started to go on dates with me. I felt that Kouki was trying to love me as a girlfriend.

———

We sat down on a bench in the precinct after a round of play, and Sayuki asked, “Aren’t you going to get a boyfriend, Hazuki?” she asked me. I hadn’t told these girls about Kouki yet.

“Ummm. Not now?”

“Eh, it’s a waste of being a popular girl. I heard a rumor that a former ace of the baseball team is targeting Hazuki.”

“Eh? Does Tofuji-kun like Hazuki?”

“Really? I’ve had a bit of a crush on him.”

With me as the topic, the four of us engage in love talk. Then Kotone asked, “How is it really going?” she asked me like a reporter for a weekly magazine.

“I’m not interested in that person at the moment, so I can’t really think about going out with him.”

I told her how I honestly felt, and Sayuki said, “Then maybe you have someone you like at another school.” I was getting a bit of trouble, so I just told her, “I’m sorry, I haven’t sorted out my breakup with Yuuri yet.”

“I guess you’re still holding on to Yamagishi-kun, after all.”

Saying this, Sayuki came closer to me and put her mouth to my ear.

“I’ll tell you something in private, but only to Hazuki. There is actually someone I’m interested in at a different school right now. When I think about him, I feel very happy. So you should start a new love, Hazuki. You’ll be happier that way.”

Sayuki had just broken up with her boyfriend shortly before the summer break. Not much time had passed since then, but I was surprised to find out that there was already someone she liked. Perhaps she broke up with her ex-boyfriend because she found someone else she liked.

However, after giving me an earful, Sayuki looked really happy with a slightly embarrassed expression on her face.

I wonder if one day I will be able to tell everyone about Kouki with a happy smile like Sayuki.

———

We were looking around the precincts of the temple after that, looking at various things. Then Miyabi called out to us with a flustered look on her face, “Hey, hey.”

“Isn’t that Yamagishi-kun and Miyama-san by any chance?”

I hurriedly turned my face in the direction Miyabi’s finger pointed. It was indeed Yuuri and Kanade. I couldn’t look directly into their happy atmosphere, so I involuntarily turned away from them.

“I wondered if those two were dating after all.”

“Miyama-san was Hazuki’s childhood friend, right? And yet they’re dating, isn’t that just the worst?”

“Oh, look. She’s resting on his back. And they’re so close to each other.”

I ran away from everyone, including Yuuri and Kanade, and walked quickly back to the bench I had just been on. Everyone hurriedly followed me to the bench.

“I’m sorry, Hazuki.”

“I’m sorry for saying something so selfish without thinking about how Hazuki felt.”

Everyone apologizes to me and says I’m sorry, but the truth is I should be the one apologizing to everyone. I don’t deserve everyone’s concern. Because I betrayed those two.

But I was afraid to tell everyone about it. I thought that if I told them the truth, they would leave me.

After I left Yuuri, I realized how lowly and cowardly I had been, and I was again overcome with despair.

And when I left everyone and became alone, I did not immediately go home but sat on a bench in Hanasaki Park. This park was filled with countless memories.

It was in this park that I kissed Yuuri for the first time, that I kissed Kouki when he confessed his feelings for me, and when Kanade condemned me.

But still, except for my childhood, my only beautiful memories here are of kissing Yuuri.

I still feel a surge of regret when I think of Yuuri.

I wonder if they are dating.

I almost go crazy with deep feelings of jealousy when I think about it. I know I don’t even deserve it anymore.

But when I see those two together, I still can’t help but think about it. If I hadn’t cheated on Kouki if I had talked to him first if I hadn’t met him after high school,……

“Phew…”

How foolish am I?

Maybe the reason I think this is because I mistakenly believe that I am a tragic heroine. Well, maybe I am just drunk with myself now again when I think so.

I know one way out of this loop.

That would be to forget about Yuuri.

But it was impossible for me to forget about Yuuri.