III. Ira

Ardashir leaned against the battlements, a faint smile on his face. It was surreal to be back in Tamaris after everything had happened. For all the old and sometimes unpleasant memories that the city held, however, he felt a definite excitement. It was his opportunity to give Khagra a glance of the world he'd grown up in. She was a creature of the wilderness, so she would never feel at home in Tamaris, but he wanted to give her a glimpse. He had no intention of ever changing her love of the wild places. This was just to introduce her to what had made him into who he was. When all this was over, he had no intention of remaining in the capital. They'd talked about it by the fire one night, while Holland and Vladan were asleep.

..."We could find somewhere quiet," Ardashir said with a smile, watching the light of the flames dance across her face. "Maybe near Kel Badur, so you can go back to training with Dunak. It's Yssan territory, even if it is a frontier. I could ask Her Majesty for a scrap of land. I doubt she would refuse, considering what we're doing to help."

Khagra's yellow eyes went wide. They hadn't talked much about a future. The present demanded their time and energy, with the looming threat of apocalyptic war on the horizon. He was surprised to see insecurity in her expression. "You would want that? With me?" she said hesitantly.

"No one else," the knight said quietly. "If you'd have me."

"What about Tamaris?"

He reached out, finding her hand and interlacing their fingers. "There is nothing there that I want more than I want you." His dark eyes were warm when he looked at her. Sometimes he could barely remember the time before she was in his life. He had never been as happy in Tamaris as he was here out on the road with Khagra. He wanted a home, but that no longer meant the capital to him. It meant a place of his own with her.

He could have sworn she blushed, though it was hard to tell with her grey skin and the whorls of red paint on her face. "Heaven-sent man," she murmured, looking down. Normally he was the bashful one. It was endearing to see this side of her, even if he never wanted her to feel uncertain or unloved.

"Is that a yes?" He couldn't help sounding hopeful.

She was smiling when she looked up at him. "Always."...

He turned at the sound of soft footsteps on the stone. It was a familiar walk, not as quiet as Khagra's, but not anywhere near as pronounced as Vladan's. "You look better," he commented as he turned.

Holland looked alive again. She'd been barely more than a zombie for half the ride through Yssa, completely unable to sleep. He wasn't certain if it was Deus or nerves that had done it, but probably both. A night in a bed after a hot bath and a good meal had worked magic on his friend. The perpetual shadows still lingered around her eyes, but her shoulders were square again and her hazel eyes were alert. "I feel better," she said. "Zajar and Khagra are settled in the southernmost tower. She's a bundle of nerves, though."

Ardashir nodded. "Too many people, too much noise. Tamaris is a big city," he said. There was something else worrying Khagra, but she hadn't said what it was. He was confident that she would tell him when she was ready, however. "I promised I would show her around this evening when it gets quiet. I don't want the crowds to bother her."

The penitent smiled. "Thoughtful of you."

"How's your lady love?" Ardashir asked. He kept his voice down, not that there was anyone else within earshot.

Holland shrugged, her face a little more serious at the question. "I haven't seen her today," she said. It was a bit evasive, but that was just how she was on the subject of love. Even after twenty-five years of adjustment to the eastern way of life and well more than a year of dealing with everything the queen had awoken, she still wasn't used to feeling anything as intensely as she did for Seva. It made her strangely sensitive for a woman who had spent so long frozen inside. She'd mentioned once to Ardashir that it was like frostbite: warming after so long cold could be the most painful thing in the world.

"It sounded to me like she was happy to see you yesterday. Cadeyrn said she hasn't been so animated in weeks."

"I think she was." She hesitated slightly. "He said that she's changed. I can't figure out what he means."

Ardashir shrugged. "I haven't talked to him much, so I have no clarification for you. Would it matter? It's not like it could make you love her less." That much he was certain of. Maybe it was just the nature of an Immortal and the way loyalty seemed beaten into them, but to him Holland was the kind of woman who could love until the stars fell into the sea. Anyone she gave her heart to would never have to fear her abandoning them. Maybe she would have to leave them for a while, but she would always come back. Seva had no idea how fortunate she was, which was the source of most of his concern. He didn't know what would happen if she took a real leap and the queen let her fall.

"True." She stood beside him, drumming her fingers restlessly on the wall-top. "I just worry about her."

He turned to look at her. There was something about the way she was moving that reminded him of a caged panther. Returning to Tamaris was not easy for Holland. He knew that no amount of relief and happiness to be back would ever ease the sting of seeing Seva with Fionn. She was already feeling the confinement. "You should talk to her."

Holland shook her head. "Better to leave it lie," she murmured. "She was happy when I saw her, Ardashir. I don't want to ruin that."

"And what if she's not happy?" Cadeyrn's comment about Seva's usual lack of animation had worried Ardashir. It didn't sound like the kind of thing that would be said about a content woman.

Hazel eyes flickered towards him before focusing on the distance. "She has a son. A family. A life. A kingdom. There's no place in that for me. I was not made to love or be loved."

It always bothered Ardashir a little bit when she said that, mostly because he knew that she honestly believed it. She couldn't see what he saw from the outside. It wasn't cowardice—she just genuinely didn't want to cause any pain to Seva and saying something carried that risk. She would sit there and take every little wound inflicted in silence, just to shelter the queen from whatever stones life decided to cast. He wasn't the only one who worried about it, either. Khagra and Vladan had both pieced together what was going on over the course of their journey south. Holland didn't have to tell them, not when her silences spoke louder than most people's words. They had all agreed not to mention anything of it without Holland's permission, and so everything went unsaid.

He wasn't certain she would ever so much as whisper a word to Seva on the subject. Holland had a higher pain tolerance than anyone he'd ever met, even if the dark sorcery in her body couldn't ease the agony of heartache.

"It's going to eat you alive," he warned her gently.

"I know." She sighed a little bit, leaning against the wall beside him. "It was easier before." She knew Ardashir would understand without elaboration that she meant her absence from Tamaris. Not preferable, necessarily, but easier. Now she had to watch.

"How are your dreams?" He saw her relax a little bit when the subject changed. "Anything useful?"

Holland shook her head. "Just...failure." Deus had played for her endlessly the consequences of her actions, should the Princes of Iron not be stopped. He was hoping it would wear her down and break her will. Eventually, she was certain that it would. But hopefully not before she'd done what needed to be done to prevent those futures from coming to pass. "Has the King made it back?"

"Just after dawn. He must have ridden through the rain last night, because he looked like a mess." The hooded knight motioned for her to walk with him down the stairs. He caught sight of a familiar blonde moving towards them. People moved out of her way, bowing and curtseying as appropriate. "Her Majesty appears to have found us."

Holland felt a smile forming on her lips of its own volition. She would always be happy to see Seva, even if it did tug at the center of her chest. "My lady," she greeted when they reached the foot of the stairs.

Seva's mood was more muted than it had been the last time they spoke, but there was still a light in her eyes and a smile on her lips. "Cadeyrn and the others await," the queen said. "We've much to discuss."

Ardashir gave the queen a polite bow. "Lead on, Your Majesty. Did Khagra and Vladan make it down?"

"Aye. Last I saw, Vladan was headed to feed the dragon and Khagra was glaring daggers at Lady Lieren."

The knight grimaced. "We really should have thought things through before we requested she represent the elves," he muttered.

"It was your suggestion," Holland reminded him. The mention of the elf's name stirred up a little bit of anxiety. Nothing would probably amuse Lieren more than causing trouble and opening wounds. The last thing the penitent wanted was to have to try and fight off enchantment magic halfway through a conversation on strategy. A night of sleep in an actual bed might have restored some of her willpower, but she wasn't certain she was equal to the task.

"And I rue the lack of foresight dearly." Ardashir saw the queen giving him a curious look. "Our interactions with Lady Lieren in her homeland were...less than delightful."

"She has been most helpful," Seva said. "Albeit a bit catlike. Did she do thy orcish companion some wound?"

"Khagra's just protective," the knight said as they walked. He glanced over at Holland. "I doubt she'll do anything while we're planning, but I wouldn't let her get you alone."

The queen frowned. "Why dost thou have cause for worry, Holland?"

Holland hesitated. She wasn't certain she wanted Seva to know the root of the problem. It seemed like it would just cause more problems. What could she tell her friend anyway? That Lieren was intent on turning her into a toy? They needed to work with the elves right now and that meant keeping things smoothed over. She could live with a little bit of discomfort. "She can get under my skin," Holland said, keeping her answer vague. "How is Devyn this morning?"

Seva smiled brightly, the distraction working quite well. Holland felt a twinge of guilt for using her friend's son to avoid a conversation she didn't want to have, but it was for the best. "Well. He grows braver every day." Her eyes caught something and her voice flickered for a moment, though she kept talking. "Maebh says 'tis only a blink of an eye ere he finds his feet."

Holland felt her heart clench unpleasantly when the light in Seva's eyes was suddenly snuffed out. There was something artificial to that smile now. It was an excellent imitation, enough to fool almost everyone, but Holland had seen the real thing enough to know that this was not it. Her head whipped around to see what Seva had seen, the sudden movement and change in her expression alarming both of her companions.

There was Fionn, deep in conversation with a woman Holland recognized instantly: Naris Velane. He was standing closer to the elf than he should have been, her hand lingering on his arm. There was something altogether too familiar about that touch. A man of quantity as well as quality. Seva's reaction had neatly filled in any blanks. The next thing Holland knew, she was moving. A sudden iron grip on her arm, tugging her backwards, kept her from launching herself at Fionn. She knew dimly that it was Ardashir, the only thing that kept her from lashing out or breaking free. He was strong, but she was stronger. Shrugging him off would have been no difficult task, but her respect for the man stopped her from doing so. The knight had to have caught sight of it too, or at least her reaction. Holland's face was calm and composed, not a hint of hatred curling her lip or turning her expression into a scowl. But Ardashir had been in enough battles at her side to know that look. There was death in her heart.

"Holland," he said warningly, ignoring Seva's confusion. "Think about this." He looked over at the queen. "Your Majesty, will you give us a moment? We'll meet you in the library." If he lost control of Holland, he didn't want Seva to be present for the murder.

The blue eyes that were searching his face and Holland's stiff form for an answer looked worried. "Aye," she agreed reluctantly, heading towards the doors.

"I'm going to kill him," Holland hissed once Seva was out of earshot. She had never wanted to actually tear someone's head off with her bare hands before, but in that moment it was an overpowering need. The anger she felt towards Laenus was a cool breeze compared to the blizzard she could feel taking over her.

Ardashir knew he only had a few moments before she did something everyone would regret. "If you kill him, you will never be able to see her again. We'll be on the run at best, on the gallows at worst. The best thing you can do right now is make her laugh, make her smile, and be there. Regicide is not a good answer and it certainly won't make her feel any better." He had never been more grateful for the chink in her armor that Seva left, because those words seemed to reach Holland. They weren't calming her down, but they were shoring up her restraint.

"He deserves it." He could almost hear the frost forming on those words.

"She needs you more than he needs to be killed," Ardashir said as calmly as he could. He was angry as well, furious even, but he knew that they needed Holland and she couldn't help as a fugitive or a dead woman. "Who's going to protect her if you're gone? Who's going to fight the Imperium? He's not worth your time, he's not worth your steel, and he's not worth losing this war."

Holland nodded mechanically, her eyes still fixed on Fionn.

"Holland, promise me that you won't hurt him."

She narrowed her eyes. An agreement like that removed maiming as an option as well. Part of her contemplated just lying to him, but she couldn't do that to Ardashir. Not when he'd kept every promise he'd made to her religiously. Besides, her rationality was returning. He was right. She hated it with every fiber of her being, but Ardashir was right. The king was killing the Seva she adored and she would just have to take it quietly, her hands tied by the situation. "I shouldn't have left her," Holland said quietly. If she had been there, maybe she could have done something.

"You didn't have a choice and this is his doing, not yours. Now promise me that you won't hurt him."

The words came like they'd been dragged out of her. "I won't kill him."

"Holland..."

She turned to look at Ardashir. He'd never seen her eyes look so empty. "If he goes to do something to her, I need the ability to protect her. If he's wrapped around Naris's finger, he might be persuaded to do her harm."

Ardashir sighed. She had a point. "Fine. Promise me that the only circumstance you'll hurt him in is if he physically tries to do wound to Seva or orders someone else to do it."

Holland was silent for a long moment and he felt a growing worry that she was just going to shrug him off and break Fionn. Ardashir was certain that Holland had enough control and skill to paralyze him from the neck down without killing him. Finally, her lips moved. "I promise."

The knight relaxed, releasing her. He'd been gripping her hard enough to leave bruises, but he knew they would be gone in a few minutes. "Thank you. Now let's go meet the others before they really start to worry."

Again came that mechanical nod. Her thoughts were in darker places now than he'd ever seen her go and would probably linger there for quite a while. Hopefully, their little council of war could distract her from them. Holland started stalking towards the library. People instinctively moved out of her way, like a school of fish responding to a shark. Something about that look was enough to trigger primal urges to flee. Ardashir sighed and followed her, cursing Fionn in his own head. The fool had no idea how close to death he was, and the knight honestly understood exactly what Holland was feeling. He'd been in a similar position in the past. It was the kind of punishment the king richly deserved.

Why can nothing go well for her? Ardashir asked himself and the universe at large. All Holland wanted in life was to see Seva safe and happy, and the gods seemed to be doing anything and everything but making that happen.

Khagra looked worried the moment they stepped into the library, though she said nothing to disrupt the flow of conversation. She knew Holland well enough to recognize the aspect of vengeance just as he had. Her yellow eyes were questioning when she looked at the knight.

Ardashir shook his head slightly, a sign that she understood to mean that they would talk about it later.

Holland seemed to have mostly recovered by the time she stepped into the meeting. She felt no better, but she managed a smile and a little nod to the group. The stiffness had receded on the walk, so she no longer looked like she was tensing for a spring. Even some emotion returned to her hazel eyes as she sat down and listened to the dwarven ambassador explain that the dwarven weapons and armor had been forged to resemble Yssan arms to evade immediate notice. "They will figure it out," Daag admitted. "At this point, we're only barely staving off the inevitable. Even if it looks Yssan, all this new gear..." Not all of the conspirators were at the meeting, granted. Most of the ambassadors who were part of the plan were either attending to their own correspondence or running interference.

"Laenus has been paying attention to the troops drilling. He knows something is going on," Cadeyrn said. "However, I think he's more convinced that we're preparing for civil war than the Imperium."

"And what would give him that impression?" Ardashir asked with a frown.

"I don't know," the Lord Protector admitted. "Perhaps he knows something that we do not."

A musical, silvery voice spoke up. "The tension has been thick enough to cut with a knife in Tamaris," Lieren said, a little smile playing across her lips. Her green, almond-shaped eyes were focused on Holland with that inner fire glowing in them. Ardashir felt his frown deepening. It was too much to hope for that the elf would leave his friend alone. It probably would have been less dangerous if the elf didn't command such significant powers over the mind. "Let's not pretend otherwise. I have every expectation that he and that little pet of his intend to instigate a war. They've certainly been tugging at strings."

"Can you distract him?" Khagra's voice was a little bit forceful, evidence that she was thinking long and hard about the situation.

"If I were to do that, the pet would become aware of my interest and have me thrown out of Tamaris. At the moment she just thinks I like to torment her, which isn't wrong. But managing a spy network requires a certain level of...discretion," Lieren said, amusement lingering in her tone. "While you were off gallivanting in the woods, orc, I was working. Eyes and ears everywhere is not something one cultivates overnight. And speaking of my darling little songbirds, a rather important one just went missing."

"Oh?" Seva said, frowning.

"A maid. Pretty thing, quiet as a mouse, excellent listener," Lieren said as she leaned back in her chair and curled a lock of her white-blond hair around one finger thoughtfully. "One of many who work in the wing of the palace devoted to foreign ambassadors, but one Laenus found particularly diverting. She's been gone a few days now and no one seems to know where. None of her belongings are missing. That's not generally a positive indication. The last message that she sent to me suggested that she'd heard something and wanted to meet."

"Did she say anything of what she'd heard?" Holland asked.

"Her message was honestly quite garbled. Poor thing must have been in a panic when she wrote it. Something about Laenus talking to someone she couldn't see, someone not from the palace, but a voice she recognized. She could understand what they were saying, which suggests that it wasn't an Imperial."

"I've felt no magical disturbances in the palace short of your incessant popping in and out," Magus Dušan Cipris said. The old man who represented the High Kingdom of Leus hadn't changed a whit since Holland last saw him, still nicely dressed with a carefully trimmed long beard and cautious eyes. He seemed a bit irritated with the elf, but that was a natural enough response to constant condescension.

"I didn't say he was speaking to a mage," the elf said airily. "There are those without the Sight who can communicate across great distances. Sorcery is every bit as powerful as magic, if the stories are to be believed. Holland could probably elaborate on such things."

"Immortals are not sorcerers, but they are capable of using demonic crafts," Holland said quietly. "He could have been using a loquentes lapis. They're stones, usually set into rings, made in matched pairs."

"Gems?" Dušan asked curiously.

Holland shook her head. "Normally, they just look like river stones, very small ones. They don't gleam at night and they draw less attention. An Immortal dressed like a peasant can still wear one without raising alarm and jailers seldom take them away because they appear to have little value. I've worn and used one before. They require a command word, usually something simple but not a word you would drop in everyday conversation."

Lieren's eyes lit up. "So we simply need to find the ring."

"It sounds as though without the command word, Laenus's ring would be useless," Ardashir said.

The elf smiled her catlike smile. "Not his ring, darling. The one on the other end. I would be willing to bet that he was conversing with someone important. A noble or official wearing a piece of tarnished, two-bit jewelry...that can be noticed."

Holland nodded thoughtfully. "It would be helpful if we could get them all in the same room," she murmured.

"Yssan nobles are always clamoring for favor. Give them a chance to find it," Lieren said. She looked over at Seva. "Isn't there some kind of victory day in the near future?"

"Aye, of the Battle of Morna," Seva said with a nod. "Twenty five years. Enough time to mark it with something grand."

"That should work, then," Dušan said. He seemed untroubled by the fact that they would be marking one of Leus's most crushing defeats, but then again, he knew it was for a purpose. "I will inform the other ambassadors of our intent. We will have preparations of our own to make."

"Then let us part and begin," Seva said firmly.

Ardashir watched carefully as everyone rose from their seats. When he saw Lieren approaching Holland, he felt his stomach tighten slightly. The elf was playing with fire, even if she didn't know it yet. He wasn't the only one watching, either. Khagra was lingering in the other doorway in case she was needed, and Seva hadn't left the table. He wanted to put his hand on his sword, but violence was likely not a good answer and it might alarm the queen.

Holland didn't even really register the elf's approach until Lieren was close enough that her glamor started to affect her. The penitent felt her thoughts start to cloud, like a warm mist had descended on them. The world felt faintly out of focus and a soft glow seemed to settle around the elf. "How lovely to see you again, darling," Lieren purred. She was well into Holland's personal space.

The penitent snatched one delicate wrist before the elf's hand could touch her. "We are not doing this again," she said in a low voice.

The elf smiled wickedly. "You still owe me. Not a woman of your word anymore, darling?"

"I'm not in the mood." Time hadn't changed the elf, not that Holland had expected it to. For Lieren, the long absence was just a blink of an eye. Holland set her jaw stubbornly. She wasn't going to budge and she had enough cold at the center of her chest right now that she could think through the fog.

Lieren leaned in to whisper in her ear. It was a move far more intimate than Holland was happy with. "She'll never give you what I can give you."

Holland's glare could have etched glass. "Go." It wasn't a request.

The elf smiled. "You'll change your mind eventually," she said as she pulled back away. "Everyone does. And I'll be waiting." She brushed past Holland out the door, glamor lingering in her wake.

Holland shook her head to clear it a little bit of the fog and saw Seva looking at her with an unreadable expression on her face. "What was that?" the queen asked. She was very good at keeping her voice even and calm, but there was a hint of something that might have been upset in her tone.

"Very unwelcome," Holland muttered. The comment seemed to relax Seva slightly. "I'm going to look after Maël and maybe go for a ride."

"Be careful," Ardashir said. Tamaris was probably more dangerous than the road at this point, if in a different way.

Holland nodded absently before stepping out the door. She was already looking forward to the rush of wind against her face and the peace of the woods. Khagra glanced at the queen, who looked uneasy at the moment, then at Ardashir. "Walk?" the orc asked.

The knight nodded. It was Khagra's way of saying that she wanted a word and he was more than happy to agree. They had a lot to talk about.