XXVII

After her

☆彡𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑎

Narrative + Messages

☆⋆。𖦹°‧★

January 8th. 8 days since things were ruined and 4 days since I said goodbye. It's like I am marking the days since I last saw her and it would end today. Game day. Cameron has to be there for PT stuff and is adamant I don't go but as long I'm not in the locker room, what's the hurt in supporting my other friends?

"Are you okay if we leave early? I just have to be there before the game starts." "Yeah yeah that's okay, I can find stuff to do while I wait." I grab a giant scarf and wrap it around my neck. Cam has a certain look in her eyes as I walk out of my room, but I don't bother to solve it. When we pull into the Gampel parking lot a few players get out of their cars. I want to get out and say hi but everything is so complicated. The tap at my window makes me jump, it's Nika. "You comin' in?" She says leaning on my car. "No I don't think so, but I'll be here for the game." She sighs and continues to talk but I pay no attention. Her eyes meet mine as she steps out of the car, her blonde ponytail shining under the street lamp. I want to look away but I can't. "Okay'll see you later," Cam says getting out of the car. Paige starts to walk towards the car and I panic. I don't say bye to anyone and leave, I'm not even sure if Paige was coming up to the car, maybe just Cam who was walking away.

Shortly after I found my seat in the student section Cam was next to me popcorn in hand. There are so many things I want to ask. The game starts and Paige is on the bench. I watch as her eyes scan over the student section and find mine making me quickly watch the girls playing. "I need to go to the bathroom." Cam says in my ear. I grab her hand and we go down the steep stairs towards the bathroom. "Wait, why are we going to the locker room?" Intermission would start at any moment. "These bathrooms are cleaner and won't be packed." I know she's smarter than this. "I'll be in and out before the teams come in." We reach the bathroom and she lets go of my hand closing the stall door. I lean against the sink realizing how much my makeup did not help to cover my eye bags. "Be quick!" Someone yells from down the hall. Fuck. She stops as I look at her through the mirror. I throw my lipgloss in my bag trying to think of an escape plan. "Evelina..." shit shit shit. "I know you don't want to hear it, but please just give me two seconds to explain. I understand if you don't believe or want things to go back, but I just need you to hear me." The more she talks the more I feel it bubbling up inside me. "What do you not get about goodbye? You fucked up" "I understand bu-" "No let me finish. I got rid of all your things meaning I got rid of you. Maybe someday we can go back to being friends, but right now I need you to stay away." I feel the tears sting in my eyes as I spit out my words. Before she can say anything else I leave the bathroom and find my seat in the student center.

"Hey, are you okay?" I hear from behind me. I tried to shove my tears down and I guess that was evident in my face. "Yeah, yeah I'm fine." I wipe my eyes and a hand appears at my side. I turn to the girl taking the napkin in her hand with a light smile. Her short shagged hair was underneath a blue beanie and she was wearing a UConn sweater with a collared shirt underneath. "Thank you," I say before turning back around.

✰✰✰

"Don't you think you are being a bit selfish during this whole thing?" Cam asks when we enter our apartment. "What?" "You haven't heard Paige's side of the story at all." I hadn't. "She hurt me why should I?" My harsh words spill out before I can stop them. "Paige is human too." She was on the other side of the island. "So are you just taking her side now?" "No. That's not what I'm saying." "Then what are you saying?" "Could you stop being so selfish and stubborn and at least hear her out, it's the least you could do." Her words hurt. I feel like exploding. "She hurt me Cameron. I'm not being selfish or stubborn I am protecting myself. Why can't you just see that?" "Because that's not what you are doing. You are hurting Paige more than you think. When you left me in the bathroom because you were too concerned with yourself, I walked out to find her leaning against the counter. And I'm not sure if you realized but after that, for the rest of the game she wasn't herself. Sometimes I wish you could just wake up and figure out shit for yourself when it's in front of you. I'm the one that got you two together and I'm the one who is helping you through this." "You are also the one who ended it between us. If it weren't for you and your little-" She slams her hand to the counter. "Evelina that wasn't my fucking fault. You left her remember, to find me who was perfectly fine. How you are reacting to this situation is not my fault either. You know what? I'm done helping you. Go do the right thing and hear her out or go sulk in your room until you have shit to do, I don't give a fuck. I'm done." She grabs her phone leaving me there. "If you care so much why don't you just date her!" I yell immediately slapping my hand to my face.

For the rest of the night, she never left her room.

✰✰✰

The next morning I found myself at some random coffee shop blankly staring at my phone. "Hey there." I look up seeing the same girl from last night. This time her hair wasn't under a beanie and she was wearing a shirt with a long sleeve underneath. "Oh sorry do you need to sit here?" I start to gather my things. "Oh no, I just recognized you from the game and noticed you were all alone, can I join you?" I ease back into my seat. "Yeah, sure, sorry I'm just somewhere else right now." "Oh really? Want to talk about it?" "I really shouldn't vent to some random stranger." "Well one, I don't mind, and two, I'm not a stranger," She puts out her hand, "Maya and you are?" "Evelina." Her hand is smooth. "Cool name, what is it?" "Italian." "Sick. Anyways you were saying." My best friend id made at me, I have no girlfriend, and all my other friends here are closer to Paige than me so I might as well.

I stayed at the coffee shop for 2 hours trying my hardest not to name drop.

✰✰✰

For the first week after our big fight, me and Cameron barely talked. She was either at the library, a game, or Paige's. It hurt to know she was there having fun with them, but I was so busy with school that it didn't hurt as bad. When I wasn't drowning in studying I was with Maya. There was something about her, maybe that when I was with her I just completely forgot about all my problems or that she was the only thing I had.

✰✰✰

Two weeks after our fight we were able to talk to each other. I wanted to talk things through, but figured it would be best if we forgot it. "Where have you been going, when you aren't here." She asks as we put away the ornaments. I'm hesitant before I respond. "I met this girl, her name is Maya." I want to ask her where she has been just to make her realize how shitty it is but we both know I already know. "Oh okay...Where did you meet her." "Technically at the game but really at the coffee shop around the corner." "Cool.." I can tell she wants to ask more but doesn't push. "How is...uh...the team?" "They are good, they miss you being around." "I miss them too..." As much as I want to renounce from her, I miss her more than anything. I miss waking up in next her , singing for her, the feeling of her arms around my sides. It all hurts to think about. I can't ask. "How is she?" fuck me. "What answer do you want?" I hate the way she asks that. "The truth. I want the truth." "I think she is okay. She is smiling more and focusing on basketball and school, but I'm not exactly sure, she doesn't talk to me that much." "Does...does she ask about me?" The room goes silent. "Forget it, I should've never asked."

✰✰✰

The more the weeks go by the less I go to games. No one has talked to me except Nika. I understand they were her friends before mine, but they were all I had. They were my family and now I have to find it elsewhere. I go to Maya's place at least once a week, I've met all her friends and I'm not sure they like me. When I told Cam I think she pretended to be shocked. "Who could not like you?" She said while looking at her phone. Every time I talk about Maya it's like she shuts down.

Mai pie 🥧

Mai pie 🥧

Wanna go get froyo?

Eve 💚

Sure, meet you in 30?

Mai pie 🥧

See you there 😉

Eve 💚 loved a message

Cameron was once again at pai-Nika's. Who knew my breakup would break us apart. It was now February two days before Valentine's Day, the holiday I was supposed to be spending with her.

"Hey, you," Maya says swooping me up in her arms. She is the biggest hugger I know. "Hey. How are you?" "Good, you?" "I'm good." "Why so dry? We are getting froyo! Now I like to go on more of a chocolatier side, but what do you like?" "I think I'm feeling fruity tonight." "Interesting." She rubs her chin causing a laugh. "What!?" "Oh, nothing." She opens the door for me. "Whatever." I shake my head.

"I don't think I've ever filled my cup with so much froyo before," I say looking down at my giant cup of frozen yogurt covered in various toppings. "That's because you weren't with me, I am known to be the life of the party." "Well then, I need to see you in your element." "Sure, but I don't think you can handle it." "You don't know shit about me." "True, so maybe I need to know more." I just look at her with a puzzled look. I try to figure her out but she always switches up and shuts my assumptions down. "Okay...let me think...I-fuck." "You fuck? Good for you." "No no no." I shake my head as I watch her walk in. "My ex is here," Maya turns "No don't look!" I grab her face turning it back to mine. "Which one?" I keep my eyes either on Maya or the yogurt. "The blonde one," I whisper. "Holy shit!" I take her spoon and put it in her mouth to shut her up. "Can you be any less loud?" She finishes the yogurt on her spoon and continues again. "You dated Paige Bueckers??" She whispers now. "Yes." "Holy shit you've got a game, why are you still talking to me?" "What?" Before she can explain Cameron is walking up the table. "Lina, what are you doing here?"  should be asking her the same. "I'm hanging out with Maya. Maya, Cameron, my roommate and best friend. Cam, Maya, my friend." I quickly introduce them. "So you are the infamous Cam, it's nice to finally meet you." "You too." They shake hands and it pains me how awkward everything feels. "Okay, I'm gonna go back with the team. See you later and nice meeting you!" She quickly leaves our table. This has to be a punishment from God.

I get Maya to talk about something else while I pretend to listen and try my hardest not to look at the other table. She was sitting directly to the side of Maya facing me. I could feel her gaze and it didn't seem she cared. "I should go now," Maya says bringing me back. "What, why?" "I can tell something is up AND my roommate left her key inside." "Oh, yeah, okay." I finish my last bite of froyo and grab my jacket. I keep my eyes away from their table, which is of course right next to the door. "Oh, hey, Evelina!" I stop in my tracks stopping Maya too. "Hey guys!" The act I'm putting on should win an Oscar. "How are you?" Azzi asks. "I'm good, oh, um, this is Maya, I met her a couple of weeks ago." "Nice to meet you guys." She gives a small wave. Paige's eyes are no longer on me. "Well, we should probably get going. It was nice seeing you guys!" They give various responses and when the cold air hits me I let out a sigh for I didn't realize I was holding in.