Chapter 14

Anna pov-

I woke up to the sound of my alarm under my pillow. I set the volume quiet enough that it would wake me up, but not wake Sab up. I shut the alarm on my phone off, reading the time that said 6:30 am. My class does not start until 8:30 but I wasn’t up for talking to Sab this morning. I crept out of my bed and tiptoed into the bathroom, grabbing a change of clothes on the way. I washed my face, but didn’t shower, because I thought that it might wake Sab up. I showered at Mandy’s after I swam yesterday anyway.

I came out of the bathroom after getting dressed and looked over at Sab. I doubt she set an alarm. I have an earlier class than her on Fridays so I had said I would wake her up. I grabbed her phone from on her bedside table, slowly trying not to make any noise.

Her lockscreen was a picture of us at the cliff, with her in between my legs. I opened her phone and her home screen was a selfie of us laying in my bed. She must have taken it after I fell asleep on her. I felt a tear roll down my cheek looking at it.

I set an alarm for 8:15 because her class was at 9. A scrap piece of paper was laying next to her bed, so I grab a pencil and wrote,

Dear Sab,

I am sure that you wanted to talk this morning but I just can’t. I need some space. I am writing this to tell you that I am safe. I left early and decided to go for a walk. I really do hope that you have a good day. I won’t be back until tonight, I need to think things through.

-Anna

I set the note down and looked at her sleeping peacefully. All I wanted to do was crawl into her bed next to her and hug her. Just to feel her arms wrapped around me in a tight embrace.

Another tear rolled down my face and it was time to leave. I checked the time and it was 7:15. The library opens in 15 minutes and it takes about 20 to walk there. I will get there right on time. I obviously don’t have any classwork. I just want to be alone.

I opened the door as quietly as possible and left. I walked to the library and said hello to the librarian. I found a spot in the corner and pulled my phone out of my pocket, also grabbing my airpods. I clicked on shuffle and sat there with my eyes closed.

I opened my eyes to check the time again and saw a girl sitting across the library. She was staring at me. She picked up her hand and waved at me. I waved back and got up to walk over to her. She patted the chair next to her and I sat down.

“Hey,” she said. “Hi?” I responded. “I saw you sitting over there alone and you looked like you needed to talk to someone,” she kindly said. “Is it that obvious?” I asked. She nodded her head and a smile crept up on her face.

“Sorry, I should probably introduce myself. I’m Eva. Eva Cudmore,” she stuck her hand out. I grabbed it and shook it, “I’m Anna. Anna Shumate,” I said, copying her. She giggled. “So do you need to talk?” Eva asked. “Ummm? I guess, sure.” We decided to walk to the amphitheater and talk instead of in the library, because the librarian was getting angry.

“Is it relationship issues?” Eva asked. “Her name is Sab,” I said, turning to Eva as we walked. “So you’re bi or…?” she asked. “Yeah,” I answer. “Cool, so am I. Anyways, back to Sab.”

“She is my new roommate. We both caught a crush right away and clearly showed each other we had feelings. We may have also been playing a game with each other. You know, who can be more bold. First to kiss loses,” I turned to Eva again expecting her to look at me like I am crazy. “Okay, continue,” she said.

“Yesterday I was ready to lose, all I wanted to do was kiss her. It was romantic. We were in a pool, hugging after I tossed her in. I leaned in to kiss her and she pulled away and got all distanced from me. I ran after her, but she didn’t say anything. We were at the pool for hours and we didn’t exchange a single word. Even when we went back to the dorm she was silent. I know I shouldn’t have, but I blew up on her and went to bed,” I paused. “I… I stayed up all night. I couldn’t fall asleep. I listened to her cry in her bed all alone. For hours,” I turned to Eva as I sat down at the amphitheater.

“Anna. Can I give you some advice?” she asked. I nodded my head. “I think you should talk to her. I know you might not want to, but I think you should try. Even if it’s not today. Just sometime soon. Clearly something happened. She wouldn’t just stop liking you,” she turned to me and pulled me into a hug. She pulled away, “I really think you should try talking with her. You really seem to like her,” Eva commented again.

I pulled out my phone and checked the time. I stood up. “I have to go Eva, sorry. I have an 8:30 class to get to,” she pulled out her phone. “Is it Mrs. Robinson’s class by any chance?” “Yeah it is, well then I guess we can walk together.”

Sab pov-

I woke up to my phone’s alarm going off. I looked over to Anna’s side of the room and she wasn’t there. A tear rolled down my face as I remembered our fight. I reached over and grabbed my phone to shut off my alarm, and also grabbed a piece of paper that was laying on top of it.

I read it quickly and started to cry. I wanted to scream, but I couldn’t. My throat was sore from crying. I set the not note down and got up, going to the bathroom.

I turned on the water in the shower and stepped in. I stood there, water streaming down my body, just staring at the wall. I broke down, sitting down on the cold shower floor. All I wanted to do was talk to Anna. I wanted to hug her and apologize for what I did. I tried to put together what I could say, but it just made me think of him.

I closed my eyes and images of him flooded my mind. What he did to me. How he left me in pieces. I wanted to leave him in the past, but it’s like he rules my life. Tears still running down my face, I punched the tile shower wall. I wanted to forget everything and just have my life be normal again.

I punched the wall again and again until my arms felt weak. I turned off the water after I rinsed off my hands. I stepped out of the shower and changed into a hoodie and pair of jeans. I brushed my hair, grabbed my phone and left. I was in the shower for so long that I had to speed walk to get to class.

I walked in and sat at a random desk. I put my head down and stayed sitting there until our professor dismissed us, only sitting up when he took attendance. I slowly walked out of class and looked up making my way back to our dorm.

I turned my head when I heard laughing and saw Anna. She was sitting at a picnic table a few feet away from the sidewalk. She was laughing with another girl who had her back facing me. I stopped in my tracks and stared at her. Her eyes were swollen and red, she had also been crying.

She looked up and connected eyes with me. I stared at her and a tear rolled down my face as she looked away. A split second later I saw her look at my hands that had a little bit of dried blood on them and were swollen. I quickly stuffed them in my sweatshirt pocket as she glanced back up to my eyes, switching between hands and my eyes.

I turned and wiped my eyes with the sleeve of my sweatshirt, soaking up tears. I quickly walked back to our dorm room and started to clean up my hands.

I packed up a bag with clothes and my phone charger. I walked back into the bathroom and started to put on some makeup to cover my swollen red eyes. I don’t usually wear foundation, so all I had was light coverage. I did my best to cover the redness.

I changed my sweatshirt, because this one had tears on it. I took a spare piece of paper and wrote Anna a note, leaving it on her bed. Then, I turned and left, grabbing my bag before walking to my next class. I walked down the sidewalk I did to get here, seeing Anna still at the same table. I quickly stuffed my hands back in my sweatshirt pockets as I passed, locking with Anna’s eyes again. She opened her mouth to say something, but I kept walking.

Anna pov-

I was laughing with Eva when I saw a familiar sweatshirt walk by. It stopped dead in its tracks and I looked up to see Sab. Her eyes were puffy and she looked hurt. I looked back to Eva as a tear fell down Sab’s face. I couldn’t see her cry again.

Something caught the corner of my eye though. I glanced back to Sab’s hands and they were red. Dry blood on her knuckles. Huge and swollen. I looked back up to her eyes, motioning to her hands with my eyes. She quickly shoved her hands into her sweatshirt pocket before quickly walking away. My eyes followed her as she walked away.

Eva and I continued to talk. We have 30 minutes until our next class starts so we are just talking outside while we wait. My mind was focused on Sab and only Sab. After maybe 15 minutes she walked past me again, connecting her eyes to mine. I opened my mouth to call out her name, but she kept walking.

*After Anna’s class*

Eva and I parted ways after sitting through another class where the teacher said the same thing. Sab was still in class, so I thought it would be safe to go back to our dorm.

I opened the door to our dorm room and walked over to the bathroom. I washed my hands after going to the bathroom. I looked towards the shower and saw red in the cracks of the tiles. I stepped in the shower and touched the tiles with my hand. All I thought about was Sab. A pain grew in my heart thinking about her hurting herself.

I walked out of the bathroom and over to my bed. I sat down and saw a note.

Dear Anna,

I don’t know what to say, but I won’t be staying at the dorm this weekend. I know you want space, so since this is my fault, I thought I should be the one to go. I’m sorry Anna.

-Sab

I am sorry. Please don’t be mad at me. You have to trust the process.