Words... Just Words

It's just words...

Words don't matter they say.

**~**

Jasmine stands in the entrance of the Kingsleys' kitchen. She's wearing flats, shorts, and a tank top with an unattractive scowl on her face as she stares at me in distaste and some underlying anger if I'm reading her right.

It's raining buckets outside and she's wearing the least amount of clothes one could possibly wear? What I don't get is why she comes in here and asks what I'm doing here as if she lives here though. It's best to ignore attention seekers anyway. The day is wet and sappy and I refuse to join it even though I'm still pissed at Arthur and plan to leave as soon as I eat his mom's breakfast.

"Jasmine I didn't know you were coming over today." Mrs. Kingsley frowns. I look back and forth between them. So she's been here... more than once?

Arthur walks into the kitchen with a glare, his brother following behind him with his arms crossed and fingers pressing against his lips.

"No one did, mom," Arthur says, his glare on the brunette. "I don't know what your problem is but you don't walk into this house like you own it," Arthur snaps. His face begins to tint pink but Jasmine doesn't seem fazed by it.

"All right." Mrs. Kingsley gives Arthur a look then says to the intruder, "Jasmine you can stay for breakfast since it's raining. But Arthur's right, so next time don't just show up." Jasmine nods and prances into the room like a happy-go-lucky elf.

Andrea has a lot more to say to that though. "Hell no. Bitch, get out." All I can do is blink. If I'd said that in front of my mom...

"Watch your mouth, " Mrs. Kingsley grits out, glaring at her daughter.

"Sorry! But mom, you know I don't like her," Andrea says, not in the least bit apologetic. Jasmine narrows her eyes but doesn't say anything, pausing at the edge of the counter.

Mrs. Kinglsey says nothing but gives her daughter a look that says 'keep talking' as she places plates of food in front of us.

Arthur makes his way around the island and sits next to me, clearly not happy. Adam, their brother, sits next to Andrea on her left and Jasmine sits two chairs down to her right causing Andrea to tense, clenching her jaw. I watch as Andrea reaches for the knife in front of her.

"Andrea don't you dare touch that knife," Mrs. Kingsley scolds. Andrea pulls her hand back abruptly. I bite back a smile as Arthur snorts next to me and Adam nudges Andrea with a grin.

"When are you going to stop being a slut Grace?" Jasmine asks, her fork scraping across her plate.

"When you do." I take a sip of my cup of hot chocolate, staring at her. She stares at me with a challenging glare but I can't find it in me to be apologetic or guilty. It might be because of the weather. Or Arthur's a very bad influence on me.

"Let me make something clear since everyone wants to act crazy this morning." Mrs. Kingsley sits down, dropping her plate so hard on the table it makes me flinch and wonder how it didn't at least crack. "I want no cursing, no name-calling- just don't do nothin. One more time and all of you need to find another house to be in."

A silence follows as she stares directly into our souls when she meets all our gazes. We all nod. To our luck, the house phone rings in the front room, and with a sigh, she excuses herself.

We eat in silence for all of a minute before Adam decides to break it.

"So you're Grace?"

I nod with a hum. "Hi."

"I'm Adam." He reaches across the island with his hand outstretched. I shook it, smiling.

"Nice to meet you." He returns my smile. It's a great smile I'll tell you that.

"Yeah, we all like meeting new people." Arthur leans forward to yank my hand out of Adam's before it even gets to the two-second mark.

Adam rolls his eyes but the smile on his face gives him away. "Grace, are you and my brother here dating?"

My face heats up and I quickly answer with a no the same time Arthur says yes. I turn to him with a deadpan look then back to his brother.

"We're not dating." I shake my head.

"Not yet," Arthur says under his breath but not low enough. I side-eye him because maybe yesterday that would've been flattering.

Across from me, Andrea says dramatically, "You're not?"

"And she's already jumped into bed with him," Jasmine says, looking all too smug about it even though no one's talking to her. "How was it?"

I toss her a blank look before saying slowly, "Sensational." Adam and Andrea let out low whistles while Arthur gazes a hole into the side of my face.

Jasmine, red in the face, surprisingly keeps her cool. In her voice anyway. "How do you do it." She cocks her head to the side. "You've moved on pretty fast. Didn't your two-year relationship end at the beginning of the week?"

"Should've ended sooner." I stuff half a pancake into my mouth. "What about you?" I ask when I swallow, poking my tongue around in my mouth. I prop my elbow up on the counter, fork in my hand as I rest my chin in my palm, acting as if I care. "Broke any hearts? Slept with any more boyfriends? Speaking of boyfriends..." I grin. It's so fascinating the way her pale face turns red under this lighting. "How's that going for you? When was your last boyfriend? Do tell Jaz."

"Hell yeah!" Andrea fist pumps.

That must've done it. Jasmine stands and without another word, leaves. Hopefully the house and not just the room.

**~**

It's Monday morning and I'm dreading it because with a bad ankle, crutches, and narrow halls full of teenagers, I'm bound to end up on the ground at least once during the day. On the bright side, when I went home on Saturday I was happy to see that my parents made up. Then I went on to do my homework and my laundry, cleaned my room and bathroom.

Only I did all that because I wanted to stop thinking about Arthur. I knew he was texting me but I stayed as far away from my phone as I could. It kept vibrating every second with notifications but I didn't even read them, telling myself I was busy.

I regret ignoring him after a while. Just a little, but mostly because I missed talking to him which isn't the best reason. I haven't seen him since I came to school. It's weird because since we started speaking to each other he always found me and walked with me to my classes a few times.

I was in class when a boy came in and gave the teacher a note that said I was needed in the principal's office. Of course, I had to do breathing exercises all the way there to stop from hyperventilating. But when I got there it was something about signing up to be a tutor and how that will help with colleges and blah blah blah. I said I'd think about it but I don't plan on actually doing it.

Now I'm on my way back to class, walking down the lonely, quiet hallway, all by myself, and feeling like I'm about to wet my pants.

Don't think about all those terrible horror movies you watched with dad and you'll be fine.

The pep talk doesn't work. It's times like these that horror and serial killer movies pop in my head unannounced and makes me paranoid. Not that I'm scared, it's just creepy.

My vans squeak against the shiny tiles as I hurry down the hall, as much as I can with a brace and crutches. This is how horror movies start Grace. I hope I don't make a wrong turn.

Wrong turn...

An image of being attacked and eaten by a cannibal plays in my mind, the same time I hear crying. I'm about to make a run for it when I spotted him sitting against the lockers with his head between his knees.

"John?" His name barely leaves my mouth but it's enough.

His head snaps up and I can't help feeling something tighten in my chest at the tears running down his face. He stands and wipes his cheeks with the back of his hand in one movement. "Grace."

In all the years--which isn't that much--that I've dated John, I've never seen him cry. I never saw him as a heartless person, I guess he just never had reasons to and that was fine. I realize now I never want to see him like... this. No matter what happened between us.

"What's wrong?" I realize how close I am when I reach out and touch his shoulder.

"I'm good." He tries to smile but I see through it. Even if I've never seen him cry, I've seen that smile and it never worked with hiding whatever negative thing he was going through.

I shake my head and his smile slowly dies until his bottom lip starts to tremble. Tears well up in his eyes again and I don't wait for them to spill before I wrap an arm around his shoulder and pull him into me. It's an awkward maneuver with the crutches but it works. He buries his face in my neck, his body shaking as he cries. He holds on to me as if I'm the one keeping him from falling. I lean my crutches against the lockers behind him.

I pull back, taking his face in my hands and wipe his tears away with my thumbs. His eyes are dull with pain and he's like a little boy who lost everything.

"What's going on?" I ask softly.

He stares at me but doesn't meet my gaze. His top lip is drawn between his teeth and there's a hesitant look on his face but after a moment he says, "My Gran's in the hospital."

I tense and I know he feels it. His grandmother is the sweetest lady. We used to visit her and her husband all the time. They live in the cutest cottage-style house about an hour away. She could get inappropriate at times but she's so fun and upbeat. She was one of the few people I've seen John show genuine affection and love, not only with how he treated her but how he spoke and looked at her too. He seemed to be at peace whenever we went to see them.

"She has cancer." More tears travel down his face.

Swallowing back my own shock and tears, I hold his face tighter and stare into his eyes. It won't help him if I'm drowning in my own despair. "I can't tell you that she'll be all right but I'll be there for you, okay?" I blink away the tears threatening to spill. He nods, his head tilting forward and making his hair hide his face. I press my forehead to his and he closes his eyes.

The sound of footsteps and sneakers squeaking against the floor then coming to a stop makes me turn away from John. I'm hesitant at first to even take my eyes off him so it's barely a glance to my left. But almost right away, I see that it's Arthur.

He stares at us with a blank expression that says far more than he's willing to show. Knowing how this looks from his point of view makes me step away from John quicker than I've ever done anything else. It's weird because Arthur and I aren't together, and somehow this all feels wrong now. Even if I wasn't doing anything. John's hands drop from me and my hands from his face when I pull away, guilt piling in my stomach and twisting it in every corner.

"Arthur." I won't tell him it's not what it looks like because that's the phrase cheaters use when it's exactly what it looks like. But it's not like I can cheat on someone who I'm not even with.

He doesn't say anything and he doesn't wait for me to say anything. He walks away. I stare after him, knowing I have to explain myself--that I want to explain myself, not that I need to. My gaze is steady on the floor for a moment as a dozen thoughts run through my head.

I turn back to John. "I have to-"

He forces a smile and nods.

I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss his cheek before heading down the hall as quickly as I can. A heavy door shutting sends a loud slam down the hall, telling me Arthur left the building. I start panicking a little because we're not supposed to leave during school but I force myself not to think too hard or I'll end up letting him go.

I stop him before he gets to the parking lot.

"Hey!" Maybe he didn't expect me to come after him because he stops on the lawn. It's only for a few seconds but it's enough for me to catch up to him despite the throbbing in my ankle curling up my leg.

When he starts walking again, it only takes me a few steps before I can reach out and grab his arm. My hand slides down to his and I try to maneuver my way in front of him so maybe he'll stop so we can have this conversation.

He pulls away, looking away from me. His face draws into something pained. "What, Grace? I don't want to do this."

"Nothing happened." I shake my head, but when he looks at me, it's a cold mask that ties a knot in my chest. Right then I know he won't believe me. It shouldn't make me as scared as I feel. As if I'm about to lose everything.

"I know what I saw," he says coldly. "You still want him and it's not of my business what you do, Grace. Honestly, I don't even know why I'm even trying. You're not even worth it."

"H-" My explanation turns to dust when his words catch up to me and I almost choke. "I'm-" My throat burns and I try to breathe and speak but nothing happens. All I can think of is all the times I've heard that before, or something painfully close to it anyway.

My hand falls to my side from where it's reaching toward him. The small amount of fight I had vanishes and I see him in a light I never thought I would.

"I'm not looking for a relationship anyway, so do what you want." He waves a hand, an aimless gesture, then pushes his hair back and grips it.

"I don't even want him-" The words come out on a whim, shaky and cracking, but I don't care. He isn't going to stand here and make me out to be someone I'm not without even hearing what I have to say. "I-"

"Yeah, you want me. I've heard that before, and you know what happens next? They end up like this." He gestures to me, stepping away. "You're better than this, right?" He backs away slowly, his gaze almost mocking and I want to throw up.

I don't speak and not because I don't want to but because I physically can't. So instead, the dryest, most broken laugh comes out instead before I press my lips together and decide to give up. The arrogant a-hole.

The worst part is I tried not to see him as the guy everyone said he was and the one he's painting right now. A part of me knew he was better. Sucks that it was all a lie.

"I don't need an explanation." He shrugs and looks straight into my eyes when he adds, "You're too easy anyway."

He turns away and that's when the tears fall. I breathe out slowly and wipe my face before heading in the opposite direction. One thing he's right about is that I am better than this.