FORTY-ONE

YOONGI COULDN'T BELIEVE his ears when he heard Jimin's words. No way he said that.

No this is wrong. Jimin can't have the same feelings like him, it's making it so much harder for Yoongi to resist.

„Don't ignore me, when I tell you what my heart feels." Jimin says, tightening the grip around Yoongi's waist. He wants to be close to the elder, so so close.

„Don't- don't say that." Yoongi manages to say, his voice slightly shaking. No, don't get weak, don't turn around, don't kiss him and don't return his feelings.

„It's the truth-"

„But it's wrong. And you know that." Yoongi interrupts, his heart hurts, „In our job there's no time for those feelings. Especially- not between two partners."

It did not only broke Jimin's but also his own heart. But it's the right way. The only right thing to do.

„Stop it before it's too late." Yoongi says, removing Jimin's hands from his waist. Jimin feels his heart breaking, hell how could he feel something like that? Now that he finally knows his true feelings for Yoongi, they get shattered and are replaced by something so hurtful. So painful.

He opens his mouth, but no words leave his lips. He's speechless.

It hurts, it hurts so bad. What is this? Why does it hurt so bad?

„It's already too late." Jimin whispers, a tear rolling down his cheek. Oh so fragile.

„Then get over it."

Another tear falls down the cold cheek, but this time it's not Jimin's.

⟭⟬

Two weeks has passed and it would be a lie if Jimin said that it doesn't bother him anymore. Every night when he tries to sleep, Yoongi's words repeat in his mind and keep him awake.

His heart hurts, it's broken and Jimin has never felt this kind of pain. It's different from the pain he felt when his parents died, but it's still painful.

As if Yoongi left his life. Even if he sees him every day, it's different now.

The sadness in Jimin's heart is consuming him. He feels empty and lost. Yoongi gave him safety and comfort. The connection they shared it was different from anything Jimin ever had with someone. Their bond - it was strong and intense. The younger really hoped his feelings would be returned by his partner.

How stupid. Of course not. Yoongi isn't looking for a relationship, for a lover. He was just attracted to Jimin and used the opportunity to please his lust. There were no feelings involved.

Yoongi told him at their first mission together to not take it too serious. But the next day they laughed and talked, they kissed. It felt too good to not take it serious. So Jimin ignored his words.

The signals Yoongi gave him were so mixed, one day he would be distant and the next he would kiss Jimin as if he was craving for his lips all day long.

He would hold him tight, please him, love him.

But it wasn't love. All this time it was just one sided. It's just Jimin who's in love.

After his confession and the rejection, Jimin tried to accept it. To deal with it and not let it get to close to him. He will get over it someday.

It's the best for him. For his heart. But ever since that night, his heart is in pain, it's lonely and empty.

Like someone took a part of it.

Ever since that night Jimin is sad. And not really himself.

The others talked to him because they noticed the change in his face, the sparkle in his eyes disappeared, the happiness in his voice and laughs was gone as well. Jimin changed. He never thought a broken heart would have such an effect on him, but there he is now, feeling lost and lonely.

No one of the others could lift his mood up, no one could give him what Yoongi gave him. They tried to cheer him up and spend time with him even though they don't know the reason for his change in behavior. But it didn't help.

Jimin started jogging every morning before work or at night when he couldn't fall asleep. It helps him a lot. He also started to train more often and longer, his whole focus is on his job now.

There's no time for feelings, just like what Yoongi said.

So Jimin focuses on his job, there's no way he would lose that too because of a broken heart. This job, this team is the best thing that ever happened in his life, this is the greatest opportunity he ever got. All he has.

It was a wonder that he agreed on meeting up with Jeongin but the younger was insisting on it that Jimin couldn't say no.

„Why did you wanna meet up?" Jimin asks, nervously playing with his fingers while avoiding any kind of eye contact. Jimin picked up the habit to scratch the skin around his nails because he feels some kind of inner nervousness and unease that it makes him all jittery.

„I'm worried. Actually we all are." Jeongin answers trying to look into Jimin's eyes but the elder was looking away.

„About what?" Jimin asks, even though he already knows the answer.

„About you." Jeongin responds, leaning slightly forward to be closer to Jimin who's sitting across from him.

Their sitting outside of a cafe close to the police department. It's cold outside, Jimin feels a chill causing goose bumps on his skin but he didn't want to sit inside, there were too many people.

Jimin didn't response at first but since the silence consumed him he decided to finally look at Jeongin.

„I'm fine. There's nothing to worry about."

„Don't lie to us. We know something is going on. You know you can talk to me, always." The younger responds placing his hand on top of Jimin's to stop him from picking his nail skin.

He's right. Him and Jeongin are really close friends, Jimin always talks to him about his worries and other stuff. Things about Yoongi. He can't talk about it to anyone from Bulletproof.

Jimin loves them and trusts them, but it's hard to talk about his feelings for Yoongi with them.

And Jeongin - he's a great friend, an amazing listener, maybe not the best at giving advices but he's there for Jimin whenever he needs him.

This time Jimin wanted to try to get over it alone. On his own like always. It has always been this way.

„I know, Jeongin." Jimin finally says with a sigh, earning a soft squeeze on his hand.

„Will you tell me what's going on?" The younger asks with a warm smile, a small one but it made Jimin feel good for once in a while. He's thankful for having Jeongin.

„Or may I read your mind?" Jeongin adds, making Jimin look him in the eyes. Maybe it's easier that way. So he nods, giving the younger male the permission to read his mind and see his memories.

It wasn't necessary but Jeongin intertwined their fingers and closed his eyes while reading his mind and watching images of Jimin's memories about that night.

When he finished he opened his eyes, now looking straight into Jimin empty silver ones. They look sad.

His eyes look sad and Jeongin now gets why. He has gotten his heart broken.

„Hyung-"

„Now you know." Jimin says removing his hand from Jeongin's grip and looking away again. It makes him feel fragile and broken.

„I assumed it." Jeongin responds with a sigh, he knew it possibly could be because of Yoongi.

„Yeah, for you it's easy to figure it out. The others have no idea. Maybe Jungkook. But I don't want to talk to them." Jimin explains, „It's better if they don't know. I'm also better now."

„Doesn't seem so." Jeongin responds, „I know what you think. Literally."

His words managed to make Jimin chuckle shortly, causing him to look at the younger again.

„I'm here for you. Whenever you need me." Jeongin says, „Me and Miyeon are going on a trip this weekend maybe you wanna join us and get your mind clear."

Jimin nodded slowly, it didn't even sound that bad but the black haired male probably wouldn't consider the offer.

„Thank you Jeongin." Jimin said with a forced small smile.

The younger returned the smile before frowning, „Did you notice any change in your powers?"

Jimin gulped, widening his eyes slightly.

Fuck. He indeed did. But didn't want to talk about it. Not yet. His powers can't be different now.

It started a few days ago that he noticed how he sometimes lost control, his powers suddenly getting weaker. Suddenly he couldn't move the things the way he wanted, he couldn't control the iron that good. It only happened a few times but it still made him worry.

„Why?" Jimin asked hesitatingly.

„The first time my heart was broken badly I started losing control over my powers. I couldn't handle them because my emotions were all over the place. It took some time and a lot of healing." The younger male explained serious. It was a really bad time for him.

„My powers- are fine." Jimin lies. No, he can't get weak now. No way his feelings for Yoongi are affecting his power this badly. No way he's losing what he has worked for so hard.

Being able to control his powers this good, almost perfectly, means so much to Jimin. It was a proof to himself that he's worthy and that he can achieve what ever he wants. It's so important to him.

„Okay but keep an eye on it." Jeongin says.

Jimin nods, „I will."

⟭⟬

The talk with Jeongin was good even though it was also confusing. It made him worry about his powers even more.

It got late, after his talk with Jeongin Jimin went for a long run before heading home.

Around that time of the year it's already getting darker early. It makes him remember that his birthday is soon. How annoying. He always hated his birthdays. He always spent them alone.

But he then remembers the cakes his mother baked him every year. They were horrible but Jimin loved to make her smile by saying that they looked and tasted great.

Oh how much he missed her.

There was no time to think about the past when suddenly someone approached him in the hallway. Jimin was on the way to grab himself some water downstairs. He skipped dinner today as well, he didn't feel like eating anything at the moment.

„Jimin." His voice was like a sting to Jimin's heart it hurt, every time he spoke to Jimin it hurts.

The younger looks to his right where Yoongi is standing.

Jimin just takes a glance at the elder and wants to leave without saying anything. There's nothing to talk about.

Taking a step closer to the stairs, Yoongi suddenly grabs his wrist to stop him from going. The sudden touch felt like Jimin burned himself.

The younger releases himself from Yoongi's grip almost immediately, „Don't touch me." It was more like a whisper but Yoongi could hear it clearly. It hurt - both of them.

„Jimin please-" The elder starts, looking at the black haired male in front of him, who's still not facing him, „We're worried- I'm worried about you."

Jimin scoffs quietly but still doesn't turn around, „I'm fine."

„Let's talk about it-"

„I'm fine." Jimin repeats, clenching his jaw while trying to hold back his tears, „And there's nothing to talk about. We don't have time for this, remember?"

Yoongi gulps, the lump in his throat is making it hard to talk. Fuck. It's so confusing, Yoongi is confused by his own mind.

His hand moves closer to Jimin, softly grabbing the hem of his shirt, Jimin's back still facing him.

„I miss you." Yoongi whispers, his voice shakes, it shakes so often recently, making him feel weak and broken.

A tear fell down Jimin's face, as he leaves Yoongi behind, without saying a word.

-

A/N: hello my dear friends!  How are you??

How did you like the chapter? I know slowburn and so but we will get some drama and action soon! And yoonmin ofc too!!

Important: I don't want to disappoint anyone of you BUT we won't get a specific side ship! It's neither vhope nor vkook I love both and think both would be great for the story (maybe vhopekook) but it would take too much space in the book, and it's already a quite long story. Mostly I couldn't decide which ship.. so it's up to you what you want them to be, so again there'll be no side ship just your own imagination!! <3 hope you understand it <3

Anyways don't forget to vote & comment I love to read what you think & to respond to you <33 thanksss!! <3