46: Marked for Death

DRAKE POV

“Have you even moved since I went in there?” Rika demands as she comes out of Sasha’s room to find me sitting in the hallway outside.

“Yeah, I went and sparred with the guys a bit. Great training area down that way a bit,” I gesture down the hall. Rika’s been visiting Sasha almost as much as I have. I never thought I’d be cool with a vampire, but this WASP techno-wizard is something special, as is Zoe. Sasha’s got a good team, a tight little pack of her own. “And I got food and a nap.”

“Glad to hear it. You’re no good to her if you don’t take care of yourself.” She looks me over with those deep, unsettling black eyes. “You’re probably not getting the full benefit of the Underground, spending all this time here, though.”

“I’ve met some of Samson’s people. This place is incredible. I’ve wanted to be a part of something like this, or create it, for…a long time.”

“Since your uncle was executed? Or before?”

“How do you— Oh. Right. Researching your targets.”

“If it’s any consolation, I was doing more in-depth research that usual to try to figure out why Anselm was completely up our asses about that mission.”

“You were just doing your job.” Annoying though that is. “But, to answer your question…. What WASP did to Uncle Stephen convinced me that something had to change about how WASP operates. But I had that inclination before, from things my parents said.”

“Makes sense. Well, you couldn’t be in a better place or moment to bring about the change you want to see.”

“Yeah, I know. Thank you, for bringing us here. I’m sorry we’ve been so rude—”

“Seriously, don’t be. You’d be completely justified to never trust any of the three of us again. Although you seem to be well on your way to forgiving Sasha, at least.”

I turn away as my cheeks heat up.

Rika chuckles at my expense. “Nothing to be embarrassed about. She’s quite a catch. You should probably go in and see her, actually. She hasn’t liked being left alone, since we got here. And you’ve probably got as good a shot as any of us at convincing her that her life work isn’t over just because she’s killed Anselm.”

“She thinks…what?” I think she alluded to something like that, in the SUV on the way here, but I didn’t believe it could be true. Surely something else has meaning for her.

“She’s been living and working and breathing just for a chance to annihilate Anselm, as retaliation for killing her family, for well over a decade. I don’t think she honestly believed she’d survive taking him down. Now that she has, she’s kind of…lost.” She pauses, and I wish I could tell what she’s thinking that she won’t say. “Maybe you can help her find a new sense of purpose. You’re not going to change WASP alone.”

On that cheerful note, Rika walks away, leaving me staring at Sasha’s door, suddenly beyond nervous about seeing her. Sasha’s healed a lot since we came to the Underground; I’m no longer worried about her dying from her injuries. But with what Rika said just now…. It makes more sense, what Sasha said in the SUV about how I should just kill her. My stomach turns in revulsion at the reminder. She lied to me about everything she is. But she also saved my life. I thought everything would be easier, better, happier once I found her, but I’m not even sure how I feel about her, let alone how she feels about me.

Then again, why would Rika say that I could help Sasha ‘find a new sense of purpose’ unless my opinion means something to Sasha? That vampire seems to know Sasha well, definitely better than I do.

But why should my opinion mean anything to her? Rika and Zoe have told me a bit, over the past few days, of past missions they’ve had with Sasha. The idea that I could be of any use to her in her work is simply laughable, after hearing what she’s capable of. Still, Sasha herself has said that we have a similar commitment to justice. Maybe….

I knock lightly on the door.

“Come in,” Sasha calls. She sounds better than she did the last time I was here. To my surprise, when I open the door, she’s actually sitting up in bed. That white tee-shirt’s a good look for her.

“Feeling better?” I ask.

“Yes, much. Thanks.” Some color’s come back into her cheeks. Gods, she’s beautiful. “Come, sit. Unless you have somewhere more exciting to be?”

“I think we had enough excitement for a while, getting to the Underground.” I settle into a chair near her bed. Can she tell that I’m sweating? “The peace and quiet has been nice.”

“I’m glad. Now that I can stay awake for more than a few minutes at a time, I’m getting bored. I’ve never had much time to just…sit.”

“Any idea when they’ll let you get up and start doing things again?”

“Doctor’s supposed to come by soon and examine me again. I’ll ask then. I’m mostly not even sore anymore, so I’m hoping they’ll let me out of this room today or tomorrow.”

“I’m sure Samson would let you change rooms, if—”

“Oh, no. It’s not— The room is fine. I’m just tired of being…trapped.”

“What do you plan to do, once you’re cleared for normal activities?”

“I’ll have to go back to WASP HQ, I guess, once Samson thinks I can handle it.” She sighs heavily; this is not her preferred plan of action. “Rika and I were talking a bit with Tempest and Ariadne, via video call. WASP wants answers about what happened to Anselm, and why. And I have his job now. They said they’re keeping special ops functional without a leader, but…the sooner I can get back, the better. Probably.”

“You’re not looking forward to it.”

“No. I don’t want the job. Special ops shouldn’t exist.”

Whoa, damn. I don’t disagree, but I never expected her to be the one to say it.

“As the head of special ops, do you have the ability to…get rid of it?”

“I guess I’ll find out. If the brass let me live long enough.”

Panic rises in my chest. “You still think they’re going to try to kill you?”

“I assassinated my commanding officer. That tends to be frowned upon. How much mercy would your pack give a member who assassinated one of your Elders?”

“Okay, yeah, I can see how they’d be pretty salty with you, but it’s not quite the same. I haven’t met anyone, since meeting you, who seemed to actually like Anselm. Even those fae assistants didn’t seem upset that you killed him.”

“He was one of the top brass. The others at the top worked with him closely for many years. They will want blood in exchange for blood. And I’m not afraid of bloodshed, or dying, but I am afraid that they won’t give me a chance to fight.”

“We’ve got a better chance of changing WASP if you stay alive. Dueling the WASP brass to the death worked against Anselm, but—”

“They’d never agree to more duels for exactly that reason. They’re not stupid.”

“Then what’s your plan, once you go back?”

She sighs, avoids my eyes, casts about for words. “Have you talked with Samson at all, in the past day or two?”

“Not about anything serious. What does that have to do with your plans?”

“He and I have been talking about what happens, once I go back. If I go back. Which he thinks I should. I didn’t have ideas of my own. I never honestly thought I’d live to be in this position.” Her vibrant green eyes fixate on mine, sad, resigned. “And I’m not likely to live much longer once I go back to HQ. They’ll want to make an example of me. I’ve made peace with that. You should, too.”

No. Not after we all worked so hard to keep you alive. “You have this incredible opportunity to change WASP from the inside out, and you’re giving up before you even try? I can’t—”

“Drake. I’ve worked there for most of my life. I know how they operate. Realistically speaking, they’ve already decided my fate, without a trial or anything. They don’t care about what I have to say. They don’t care that WASP is killing its own, the supernatural beings it was created to protect. I challenged their authority, and so I am marked for death. You and Samson have the opportunity to take WASP down with a revolution from the outside. My role will be to distract the higher ups long enough for the Underground to secure its victory.”

“Wait. What? You’re planning for us to—”

“Samson thinks that, if I have a chance to put Tempest and Ariadne in charge of mobilizing special ops on behalf of the revolution before I’m called to face the brass, they and the Underground can strike during my meeting. If we can call it that. There’s a non-zero chance that the ‘meeting’ will actually be a public humiliation and interrogation culminating in my execution, and even if it’s not, I guarantee the brass aren’t planning to let me leave HQ alive. Especially if it looks like the revolution will succeed. They might well decide that I can be used as a hostage to negotiate victory out of your hands. You can’t let them be right about that.”

“You mean, if it comes to that, we’re supposed to sacrifice—”

“Yes, that’s exactly what I mean! How many times, how many different ways do I have to tell you that, no matter how this plays out, my life is forfeit once I go back to HQ?! Fucking hell, situations like this are the entire reason why I’ve never wanted a relationship,” she hisses, eyes wet and furious. Holy shit, this might be hurting her as much as it’s hurting me. She’s been so cold, so matter-of-fact, but it’s a front— “My job is dangerous. It has been from the beginning. Every mission I went on could have been my last. And so it’s stupid to get attached to anyone outside of my team, or let anyone else get attached to me, because death is always imminent. And no one should ever have to lose the people they care about.”

What are you saying?! You can’t mean—

“Sasha….”

“You can have the better world you want, and you deserve it. But I won’t be part of it. The chances that I’ll survive to see the outcome of the revolution are slim to none. So cut your losses now, before this goes any further, so that it doesn’t hurt more than it has to when—”

“It doesn’t have to be that way. Sasha, why—”

“Making the world a better place is more important than either of our feelings. And the forces we’re up against will take advantage of any weakness they see in you and exploit it mercilessly. Do you want this revolution to succeed?”

What a question.

“Yes. More than anything,” I admit softly, and it’s true; this is something I’ve wanted my whole life, something I never thought would happen, at least not in my lifetime. At the same time, though… “But I don’t think I’ll see it as successful if you’re not with me when it’s over.”

“For fuck’s sake, Drake, you don’t even know me! And after the hell I put you—”

“You’re right. I don’t know you, not well, not yet. But I want to, Sasha. I hate that you lied to me, but you still risked your life to save mine, and….” What argument can I make that will make sense to her, that she might accept? “WASP has really fucked you over. If justice is really going to be served, you should have a chance to live and find happiness.”

The fire’s gone out of her, and for a second I see what Rika meant, when she said Sasha’s lost, before the steely resolve comes back.

“I just don’t see a way for that to happen,” she says softly. “And I don’t want to hurt you, more than I have to—”

“Then live. Not even for me. For Rika and Zoe. For yourself. To experience a better world.”

Sasha shakes her head. “It’s not that simple. Nothing has ever been that simple.” Our eyes lock, an impasse. I won’t back down. Something flickers in her eyes, an emotion I haven’t seen in her before, too quick to identify. “But I’ll make sure you’re at my next strategy meeting with Samson. Maybe you’ll think of something we haven’t.”