Chapter 31. I Need You

🎶 Banjaara - Ek Villain & This Love (Taylor Swift)

Published on 21.08.2022

| AUTHOR'S POV |

"I need you."

The words, albeit written, echoed in his mind, unsettling him, making him anxious.

He was on his way to her house.

Slamming his fist on the steering wheel, he cursed himself with gritted teeth.

He was probably a douchebag, an asshole too. Hypocrite? Definitely. Probably the biggest hypocrite because how does one go from wanting and trying to stay away from a person to being exasperated with themselves for looking at that person's text an hour late? Because how does one go from acting indifferent and uncaring towards someone to quietly praying and hoping their behaviour don't affect them?

Fuck the 31st party! Fuck the fact that the clock is about to strike 12 and they're gonna enter a new year! Fuck the fact that he won't be with his family to celebrate it! And fuck him!

Three syllables from her and it felt as if his world shifted from its axis. He remembers himself growing concerned when he noticed her parents and brother in the party but not her. And his subconscious had mocked him for that because he earlier wished he didn't have to face her. After a long moment of contemplation, he gave in and went to Kartik to ask about her. He noticed Kartik's jaw going tense and the way his eyes glared at him. It was confusing for Ayansh but then, he seemed to have himself in check and said, "she's ill".

Just two words and then he turned away before Ayansh could even respond.

That should have been a clue. That should've ring a bell in his head that something wasn't right but he was adamant and an idiot to force himself to believe it wasn't a big deal. Inaaya anyways wasn't a fan of riches or parties where she would be surrounded by people flaunting their privilege and then flash fake smiles to all. So, it made sense why she wouldn't want to come. He wanted to call her but somehow resisted it.

And then, sometime later, as usual, he gave in to the urge. The moment he pulled his phone out and opened it, the message lying in the notification bar stared at him. Fear tugged at him, worry flooded his veins, his heart stalled. He dialled her number multiple times but she didn't pick up and then there was another message from her which said, "I'm fine" and instead of putting him at ease, it only distressed him more.

Searching for a family member, his eyes found his brother and his feet lead to him. Lies came really easily to Ayansh now but apparently his excuses were getting worse. He said he has to leave since one of his friend needs him and he also knew Rahul wasn't convinced at all by that reason but he didn't care. Rahul didn't say anything, just gave a small nod and Ayansh left.

Ayansh was now standing outside her house. He spoke through the intercom and waited for a response, his foot tapping on the floor due to anxiety. A few moments later, the door opened to reveal a disheveled Inaaya with bloodshot eyes, flushed cheeks and swollen nose. She looked at him as if she couldn't believe he was here.

"You came?" Her voice came out rough and low and his heart squeezed in his chest painfully.

"I'm sorry." He whispered and that was all it took for her to fling herself at him.

His arms came around her in a protective embrace and she let herself breakdown because it felt good to let someone hold her after doing it herself all alone for so long. He was comfort and security wrapped in one, a feeling of home cradling her, a ripple of water steadying her, a fleck of hope making her want to stay.

He was home, he felt like home and she wanted to stay.

And she didn't know how to let it go.

After running and looking for an escape since years, she found him. He wasn't her escape. He was her moon who makes living in the dark better. She could stare at him and her demons would fade away. She could curl up in his arms and no harm would touch her. She could tighten her hold on him and he would reciprocate by strengthening his hold on her even more just like he did in this moment whilst whispering sweet nothings in her hair.

Inaaya sniffs and pulls away just enough to look up at him with moist yet soft eyes. His one arm remains snaked around her waist as he brings his other hand towards her face and his index finger gently grazes her eyelashes, pulling out a surprise yelp and a smile from her.

She blinks.

And when she stares up at him again, his heart sighs to see the flicker of that smile reaching her eyes as well.

"Are you okay?" He murmurs, holding her face and instead of replying she simply hugs him again like a clingy, needy girlfriend but he doesn't resist.

"The security guard let you in?" She questions in a light voice against his chest.

"He knows I'm your friend since I had been here previously as well so yeah..... ," he trails off.

She hums. "I thought you're mad at me." Her voice shakes.

He pulls her closer. "I wasn't. It was," he breathes out in distress, "the incident affected me. I just needed a little time and then work and everything was a lot." He half lies and she nods in understanding. "It was never you Inaaya. Never." He adds softly. After a moment, he asks. "How are you feeling?"

"Suffocating." She answers with a chuckle.

He holds her by the shoulders and pushes her back slightly, his eyes gazing at her in anguish. "Do you want to go out maybe?"

She hums in agreement.

Ayansh holds her hand and starts to walk but stops when she doesn't move.

"Let's go to the back garden." She tilts her head innocently, chewing on her lower lip.

"What happened?" He asks as they walk with her literally sticking to his side and his hand wrapped around her firmly.

"Argument. Bad argument." She tells him through her hoarse, tired voice. "I don't want to go to Cambridge."

Ayansh halts, his head whips towards her in shock.

Before he could say something, she continues. "I'll try for IIM and if that doesn't happen, I'll do MBA from some good college here."

The expression on his face stays and a shiver runs through her entire body when a gust of wind blows.

"That was never your plan." He points out. "You never even wanted to return to India. And now, suddenly you're saying you don't want to leave India in the first place." A baffled chuckle leaves him. "What's wrong? What's changed?"

A flash of amused disbelief passes through her eyes and she turns around to look at the open garden with plants lining the corners, a couple of swings on one side and benches on the other. She shrugs. "I want to stay maybe." Her voice breaks, giving away her vulnerability. "They think it's a bad decision. I'm ruining my future or something. They want me to do what they want for me and they don't get me at all. I just don't understand what's their problem. India too has good options, many good options and I'll work hard and- "

"Inaaya," he cuts her rambling and makes her face him by holding her arm. "That's not the answer to my question and stop lying." He looks at her solemnly. "What changed?"

Her shoulders slump and a new trail of tears leave the corner of her eyes. "You," she murmurs, her voice so small that she doubts it even reached him but she knows it did when his hold on her arm loosens. "I don't want to leave you," she whispers pathetically and intertwines their fingers before she could lose his touch completely on her arm.

He could hear his heart hammering in his ears, the words are enough to make him stumble if not for her hands in his. His gaze shits into something more fragile and he fears she could see it and that would be enough to make doubt crawl her senses.

He doesn't want that but he also doesn't know how to express how much it means to him.

"Ayansh," she calls out his name and there's so much of warmth and softness and longing and love that it makes his heart squeeze because he missed hearing his name tumbling from her lips like rain on a parched earth.

"Inaaya," he says, chuckling at how lost her name on his lips sound and then untangles his fingers from hers to cup her face, his thumb outstretching itself to tug on her lips mindlessly. He hopes she understands everything he isn't able to put into words. He hopes she understood what was obvious because she always did, they always did. It's too much for him to know somebody wanted to stay with him, somebody was prioritising him over everything and everyone and god, he so wanted to protect it, so wanted to treasure it, value it, prove that it was worth it, he was worth it.

He hoped she knew that; that fierce feeling to make every moment she spends with him a memory to cherish forever, that gratitude he felt everytime she was with him and which keeps growing with every passing second, the courage she evokes in him, the love she entails in him.

Inaaya smiles and he closes his eyes to commit it for an eternity before opening them and blinking at her slowly.

"You look like a mess." He says playfully, raking his gaze over her entire frame and chuckles.

She laughs. "Trust me, I'm a complete mess right now." She says giddily and his smile widens as he rolls his eyes. There's a moment of silence before she adds hesitantly, carefully, consciously. "And I want to kiss you."

A heartbeat skips. A breeze encases. A star glints.

"Ask me to kiss you then." His breath brushes across her face as he tilts her face upwards slightly.

Her hands reach up around his neck to pull him down and she whispers. "Please."

His lips on hers felt like fireworks exploding, literally and figuratively.

The dark sky was illuminated with shades and colours, the surrounding and every nook and corner echoed with loud sounds of explosives but nothing touched them for the only colour that nibbled at them, immersed them was the one they were drowned in and the only voice that mattered was of the erratic heartbeats.

She lets him lead her, surrendering herself to him, trusting him as he moves his lips against hers making her toes curl and her knees weak. Her fingers tug at the root of his hair when he pulls her bottom lip in before releasing it. Heat pools in the pit of her stomach as one of his hand buries itself in her hair and tilts her face at an angle. She waits for the panic to kick in, for her reflexes to push him away but nothing happens. It's gratifying and exhilarating and injects a wave of courage through her veins as she slowly in an entrancing manner glides her hands over his light stubble and rests them on it.

Inaaya mimicks the movement of his lips and he freezes. The tiny miniscule action taking his whole body by surprise, making his heart beat an at unrecognisable pace, making his nerves lose control. A seed of self doubt and consciousness gnaws at her, her nerves frazzling out and she starts to pulls away, keeping her eyes shut when he pulls her back, desperately, clumsily and she gasps.

"Don't." His sultry voice hits her and she finds herself obliging, obeying and caving in.

He kisses her and she kisses him back. It's messy and frantic, slow and painstaking and everything in between. It's mind-numbing and soul-searing. It's like floating in the middle of the ocean and finding the shore all at once. She's sure she's at the brink of insanity because she feels high and oh, so high without any substance mixed in her system. She feels him chuckle and maybe it's because of the inexperienced and amateur way of her trying to kiss him back or the way she's clinging onto him with one hand clutching his collar and the other hand dragging itself in his hair but she feels that sound deep in her gut and a shudder rakes through her spine and weirdly, it makes her laugh.

Oh, she's definitely high!

Breathless and still on a high, she breaks the kiss, opening her eyes to see his are still closed. His forehead presses against hers and her hand slides down to plant themselves on his chest, feeling the throbbing of his heart under her palm. She looks at him, his skin flushed in the glistening night, a small, peaceful smile painted on his face and he looks so serene in that moment that it makes her want to capture the sight and lock it away in the confines of her heart. As if he knew she was watching him, his lips twitches and her eyes widen in surprise when his hands move, trailing leisurely from her face and down her neck and arms and then encircling her waist in an tantalizing manner causing goosebumps to rise in their havoc.

She bites her lip to keep the splitting grin not break on her face because she never thought she would ever be able to feel something so beautiful physically with all the invisible scars that her skin carry and yet here she was, unafraid to be held and kissed by someone in the dark without the past weighing on her soul or the future nagging her.

"Happy New Year, Inaaya." He says, still with his eyes closed and that same heartwarming, soul stirring smile etched on his face. His voice, carrying a hint of innuendo, a layer of softness and the depth of love breaks her reverie and the grin she was trying to contain finally breaks.

***

A little short chapter maybe? Also, kind of a filler but will make up for it in the next. By the way, the chapter wasn't supposed to take a happy route like it did lol. Do vote if y'all liked it and lemme know your views in the comment. Take care everyone ❤️

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