Chapter Thirty-four

REMINGTON'S POV

I spent much of the following week thinking about Matthew leaving. Time was flying by, and the longer he was here, the more the cottage felt alive. He’d gotten bored one afternoon and asked me if I’d mind if he added some things to the large oak bookcase in the living room. I’d watched with amusement as he returned with a small collection of books and some peculiar items, adding his trinkets to my shelves.

Then another morning, he’d woken before me and reorganized my kitchen counter. It seemed more cluttered somehow, but sweeter. And I smiled at his beaming face, those dimples dancing. Matthew was magic -- pure, unfiltered magic. Awakening my life from a long, foggy sleep and reminding me why life was worth living.

It was now, as I watched him feeding the hens and carrying the little chick inside, that I realized I couldn’t let him go.

“You’ve made friends with your enemies, then?” I said as he appeared in the doorway.

“Yep. They’re not so bad once they’re not chasing you and stuff. And I had to go out anyway to collect this little guy. Today is a special day.”

“Oh, yeah? How come?”

Matthew set the tiny chick down on the kitchen floor and went off to the sink to wash his hands. “It’s his naming day. Are you excited to hear it?”

I chuckled at his cute grin, and I wanted to carry him back upstairs right then. “You are crazy, Matthew. Go on then, tell me what you’ve named the chicken.”

He dried off his hands and limped over to the kitchen table. He’d been without his crutches for nearly a week now, and he was doing so much better. Maybe that was what had added to my worry about him leaving.

It was evident how fast he was healing, and that meant he didn’t need me as much anymore.

“Okay. I didn’t want to ruffle any feathers by picking something too obvious, so we’ve been hatching some plans, and there’s been several good options, all of them egg-cellent...”

“Oh dear Lord, Matthew. Enough! No more chicken puns. You’re not a comedian.” I groaned and rolled my eyes.

He giggled. “Don’t you mean comedi-hen?”

I threw my hands into the air and chuckled. “There are no words for how aw-fowl that was.”

He glanced up, eyes wide in surprise, and he burst out laughing. “That was so good! Aw-fowl. Haha. You’re so cute, Remi. No wonder I love you.” There was a strange tension in the kitchen as his words settled around us, and his face fell, panic painting his features white. “Shit. I didn’t mean that. What I meant was--"

“It’s alright, Matthew. Don’t worry. I know what you meant.” I said it to comfort him, but it wasn’t the truth. I didn’t know what he meant at all. What could he have meant other than what he’d said. That he loved me? Did he?

I swallowed hard, trying to hide my own rising panic. We’d known each other for six weeks, four of those living together in this strange arrangement. Surely it was too soon to say those words? To feel them? But I knew it wasn’t. Because I’d been feeling them myself. I loved him, and now, my beloved Matthew might just have revealed that he loved me.

A wave of nausea hit me, followed by a shiver of excitement. “So, uh... the name. You were telling me the name.”

He blinked and nodded, avoiding making eye contact. “Oh, yeah. So you know how chickens are kinda like dinosaurs? Well, let me introduce you to the one and only, chicken of all chickens, Tyrannosaurus Pecks. Get it?”

“I honestly don’t know what to say to that.” I laughed and he beamed a smile again.

“We can call him TP for short. But we’ll call him by his full name, Tyrannosaurus Pecks, when he’s naughty, and we have to put him in time out.”

“Are we raising this chicken now as our own?” I teased, watching Matthew’s cheeks flush pink.

“Well, you are. I’m just playing step-daddy while I’m here.”

“Oh,” I said, and I watched him as he set about making some food. “I have to go visit Sean later this afternoon if you want to come. You can see the newly-renovated buildings.”

“When will they be ready for the launch thing he’s planning?” he asked.

“The official opening is in two weeks’ time. I don’t think he’s filled all the units yet, but he’s put so much work into it I’m hoping it’ll be a success.”

“Oh, I’m sure it will. Would you mind if I saw it another time? I was planning on painting something this afternoon. I’m working on a new one.”

“Of course. You can come for the opening and see it then.”

Matthew hesitated and I knew why. In less than two weeks’ time, he might not still be here. His follow-up appointment with the surgeon was in ten days, and neither of us had discussed what the plan was if he was given the all clear. The clock was ticking and we were running out of time.

* * *

“He’s going to leave, and I can’t stop him. I want to, I know that much. But I can’t. He’s too young to be stuck here in a sleepy village with me.” I kicked at the gravel and a small stone flew out and hit Sean’s work boot.

“I get that you’re stressed, but if you wouldn’t mind not wrecking the place that would be great. Thanks.” He nudged me playfully with his elbow and then threw an arm around my shoulder and pulled me against his side. “You know what you need to do, Remington.”

I nodded. It was too hard to lay my heart on the line and risk getting hurt. I wanted Matthew to stay but I wanted him to be the one to make that decision by himself.

“I think I need to give him space and let him decide what he wants himself,” I said, taking a few strides towards the shed where Sean was now hunched over grabbing fistfuls of hay for the horses.

“Wrong answer. Christ, do I have to do this for you or what? Remington Clarke, get your head out of your ass and tell that boy how you feel! He doesn’t need space; he needs to know you want him. Make it clear as day that you want him to stay.”

I blinked slowly and scratched my head. This was all a little overwhelming. “And how am I supposed to do that?”

Sean stood up and wiped the dust from his jeans. “You’re a smart man, Remington. I’m sure you can think of something special.”

* * *

It was the next morning when the cream and black invitation arrived. It was familiar, and I knew instantly what it contained. I pulled the seal open, sliding the thick expensive paper out, and reading the words out loud, “Dennehy Solicitors Charity Auction.”

I’d been using that firm for nearly a decade for all my legal contracts. They specialized in the creative economy, experts in gallery acquisition contracts and just about everything else I needed. And the partner just happened to be a good friend of mine. Each year, he hosted an Art Auction for charity, and each year, we all turned out, dressed in our finest, and ready to support a good cause.

This year would be no exception.

“Do you want to go out for dinner this weekend?” I asked, pushing open the sunroom door where Matthew was deep in concentration on his new piece.

“Huh? Dinner? Yes, sounds lovely.”

“Great. It’s Saturday, and it’s black tie.” I closed the door and headed back to my study, opening up my email to RSVP.

“Black tie? What’s black tie?”

I glanced up to see Matthew standing in the doorway, his fingers covered in paint, and his lips pursed together. There was blue paint in his hair, and I bit my lip at how cute he was.

“Yes. A good friend of mine hosts a charity auction, and every year, I go in support. This year, I’d like to take you.”

“But, I, uh... It’s just that, I don’t have anything nice to wear.” He looked away, embarrassment colouring his cheeks.

“That’s okay. I don’t have anything I want to wear, so I’ll take you shopping tomorrow, and we’ll both get new suits.”

“I’ll pay you back when I get some money. I don’t want you buying me things like that, it’s too much.”

This was something I had feared from the start. The difference in our financial situations was vast, and I didn’t want Matthew to feel less than or not as equal. Money meant very little to me. But maybe that was because I’d always had it. What I had learnt was that it didn’t bring you happiness. But Matthew had been suffering for a while, so I could understand why he was sensitive about paying for things. If only he knew I’d give him every last cent I had. All I wanted in return was to be in his presence, soaking in his light and energy.

“That’s fine. You can pay me back whenever you want. But you’ll let me buy you what you need, yes?”

He nodded and slowly turned away, disappearing down the hallway.

*****

A/N: Four more chapters to go before the epilogue :)