Chapter Eleven

MATTHEW'S POV

The taxi pulled up outside a snow globe. Okay, it wasn't a snow globe, but it resembled one. The house was a two-storey stone cottage with a thatch roof, a small garden of flowers that were illuminated by the car's headlamps, and a chocolate-box quality that made my heart sing.

It was perfection.

Inside, the hall had a beautiful floor laid with colourful patterned tiles. The large mirror Remi had bought earlier that week now hung over an ornate hall table. Everything was so perfectly presented and displayed, almost like a museum. Remi had remembered to grab my bag from his car and brought it in the taxi. As we stood in the hallway, he turned to me and smiled.

"I'll just run upstairs and leave this in your room. Find the kitchen and put the kettle on. We need something to sober us up a bit. That brandy has gone straight to my head."

I made my way slowly through the narrow hallway and up a step into a library room. It was dark and cosy, and I wanted to wrap myself up there with a book and hibernate. There was a door at the other side, and it led into a small study and an archway that lead into a huge renovated kitchen. It was filled with oak counters and soft, warm materials. Everything blended and melded seamlessly.

And that was when it hit me.

It was all so perfect. So neat and orderly, everything in its place, visually pleasing and curated. But it was missing something. And that something was the messiness and realness of a life. Of a home.

I saw it then in Remi's eyes as he appeared in the doorway and stared at me. This man had everything, except the one thing he needed. I had none of the things he had, but I could give him what he was missing. Maybe we were meant for each other?

I dove forward, stumbling into him and pinning him against the doorframe. Maybe I'd regret it, but I didn't care. As I lowered my lips, I could feel his heart thundering in his chest, the scent of his cologne, and the heat of his body drawing me in. I pressed my mouth against his, so gently, barely touching him. Then brushing his lips slowly, I sealed our kiss and folded against him as I felt his hands slide through my hair and pull me tighter to his hungry mouth.

I wanted to savour every moment: the taste of his tongue, the way his teeth felt smooth as my bottom lip grazed against them. His strong hands wrapped in my hair as he dragged me into a kiss that I was willing to drown in.

When we broke apart, we were panting, both of us flushed and glassy-eyed.

"That's, um… that was..." Remi said, running his hand through his grey hair.

"Sorry. Should I not have done that?" I blinked at him slowly, hoping he wanted this too.

"No!” He jerked at the loudness of his voice and laughed. “I didn’t mean to shout that. That was very nice.”

He stepped back and made his way to the kettle to fix us two mugs of tea. It would be so nice to have this life. Waking up in the mornings, wandering down in this beautiful old cottage and making breakfast. Reading in the library on rainy days and playing with his nieces at Christmas time when it snowed, the skies grey and heavy. It was all a dream. One that I had no business wanting.

I took a deep breath and exhaled, before reaching out my hand to take the mug from him.

Remi's expression was kind, and it filled me with pain. I wanted him more than he'd ever know. But I knew he wouldn't let it happen.

"It's late. Let's call it a night." He looked at me expectantly.

"Yes, good idea. Where's my room?" I said, heading back towards the hallway.

"Oh, this way."

I followed him upstairs to a beautiful spare room at one end of the house, his room being at the other end. "If you need anything, let me know. Night."

"Night then." I tried to hide the longing and disappointment from my voice.

Alone, I undressed quickly, brushed my teeth, and crawled into bed. As I closed my eyes, the sensation of Remi's mouth on mine snaked through my body and tented under the thin sheets. Trust me to want someone I couldn’t have.

* * *

I tried to sleep but couldn’t. Instead, I laid awake, staring at the ceiling. I lifted my phone and looked at the time. 1:30 a.m. I wanted to ask Remi if he felt it too, this strange chemistry between us. Was it just me? Fuelled by recklessness and insomnia, I tapped out a text.

Me: I had a nice time today. Thank you for inviting me.

I laid back and closed my eyes, thinking back to how Remi had felt against me, firm and warm. That kiss was incredible. It was as if the universe had pushed us together with such force it was unstoppable. We were unstoppable. I knew I wanted to be with him but I just didn’t know how to explain how I knew this after such a short amount of time. Could you fall in love with someone you’d only just met?

My phone vibrated and I held my breath as I read his message.

Remi: I'm glad you came to visit. Why are you still awake?

Me: Don't know why. Just awake.

Me: Why are you awake?

Remi: Thinking.

Me: About what?

Remi: You.

I sat up and stared at his last text. Shit. My heart raced and I re-read his last message.

Me: Only good things, I hope.

Remi: Why did you kiss me?

Me: Because you weren't going to kiss me.

Remi: You didn't give me a chance.

Remi: Maybe I was going to kiss you?

Me: Well what are you waiting for?

I waited for his reply, but it never came. Just when I think he’s going to let his guard down--

A beep startled me, and I nearly dropped my phone.

Remi: YOU SURE YOU WANT ME TO DO THAT?

Me: Are you shouting at me?

Remi: No, why?

Me: You sent that with all capitals. That usually means shouting.

Remi: Oh.

Me: Dinosaur?

Remi: EXCUSE ME? (and yes, this time I am shouting)

I laughed as I read his reply. God, he was cute.

Me: I meant is your phone old? A dinosaur. A relic.

Me: I didn't mean you!

I giggled as I imagined his serious face right then. The phone buzzed again.

Remi: You serious about wanting that kiss?

My heart pounded as I re-read his question.

Me: Yes. Very.

There was no reply. I waited, but nothing. Five minutes passed and still nothing. I laid there, watching the shadows and checking the screen every so often for reception. Shit. Why wasn't he replying? Had he fallen asleep?

* * *

It was a creak. The sort of sound that stirred you from sleep -- a faint warning that you weren't alone. Something or someone was moving. I had started to drift off, but the sound pulled me to consciousness. I stilled my breath and listened. Creak. There it was again. I turned my head, trying to ascertain where it was coming from. Then another sound. A click? It sounded like someone turning a door handle.

A sliver of light and shadow seemed to appear against the wall before disappearing again into near blackness. Maybe I was dreaming. Then the creaking sound again, closer, and finally a whisper. My name, filtering through the warm air in the room.

"Matthew?

I sat up and blinked, my eyes struggling to see in the darkness. "Yeah?"

"Are you awake?"

I smirked. "No, I'm asleep."

I heard a chuckle, and then the edge of the bed dipped as Remi sat down.

There wasn't another sound, just the heaviness of his chest leaning down across me, and the warmth of his lips against mine. I closed my eyes, unsure I wasn't dreaming and praying I wouldn't wake up if I was. Remi’s lips were firm, and his tongue eased into my mouth as I opened up to him. He groaned and I reached up, wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling him down on top of me.

I'd wanted this so bad. To feel his body on mine, the way his mouth devoured me as his hand traced along my collarbone, sending zings of electricity through me. He tasted good, like dark chocolate and sweet tea. I slid my hands over his shoulders, allowing his tongue to roam my mouth and tangle with mine.

I felt as though I was floating, lost in the moment and barely hanging on. He was shirtless, and I trailed my hand down his back to his waist, sliding it between us until my fingers slipped under his waistband.

Remi pulled up, breaking our kiss and easing his body from mine.

"It's late. Go to sleep."

I was about to argue, but his mouth was back, planting warm, delicate kisses on my lips.

"Go to sleep, Matthew."

And then he was gone. I pulled the sheet up higher, the ghostly feel of his lips haunting me as I drifted into sleep.