Chapter 27: Nothing Will Be the Same

CONNOR

We’d been at the Crescent Moon Pack for two days, which meant it was time to head over to the Sakura Pack. They were our neighbors, after all.

Elaine’s cousin, Yuki, had already given us the green light. He’d set everything up for our visit, just as Elaine had asked him to.

I was surprised to find out that everyone in Alpha Yuki’s pack knew Elaine. I watched her from the corner of my eye as she chatted with some members of the Crescent Pack. They all seemed to adore her.

And why wouldn’t they? She was a one-of-a-kind queen.

“Are we all set for later?” I asked Regulus, who was standing next to me, juggling a notebook and his phone.

He looked busy, but he still took the time to answer me.

“Yes, everyone will head over once we get to the Sakura Pack. We’re prepared for the heat,” Regulus said, his voice trailing off.

I nodded my thanks and turned my attention back to Elaine, who was now walking towards us.

“I think that’s it for me. I need some rest,” Elaine said. Regulus looked a bit puzzled, but he excused himself, leaving us alone.

“Come with me,” I told her, and she did. We walked in silence to our rooms, which had two separate beds.

The tension between us was palpable, and I wanted it to go away. I sighed and kept walking next to her.

Elaine was keeping her distance more and more, and I didn’t like it. I wanted to be close to her again, but it was proving to be a challenge.

My emotions were all over the place, making me question what I was feeling.

“Connor!” Elaine called out from behind me. I jumped, momentarily confused, before realizing I was standing in front of our bedroom door. “Are you okay?”

I blinked, nodded, and opened the door for her. I waited for her to go in first, then closed the door behind us. Elaine was watching me closely.

“What?” I asked, not looking at her.

Elaine sighed, shook her head, and turned away. I took a seat near the bed and faced her.

“Is there something you want to say?” I asked, curious.

Elaine looked at me but didn’t respond. I sighed, frustrated with her attitude, but I didn’t push her. Instead, I sat down on the bed, away from her.

“All of this is a mistake,” Elaine whispered.

“A mistake?” I echoed, feeling a tightness in my chest.

“Yes, Connor, a mistake,” Elaine mumbled, her head bowed. Her voice was shaky. “I can’t…”

I could feel it. The exhaustion in her body, everything was slowly seeping through our bond.

I wanted to pretend that I didn’t understand what she was saying. It was already hard enough, so pretending seemed like the best option. But who was I kidding? I knew exactly what she meant.

Swallowing hard, I stood up and walked over to her. Elaine was sitting with her hands between her thighs, her head down, trembling.

The emotions that had been trickling through our bond were now gone, as if they’d never been there.

“Elaine,” I whispered, but she sniffed and wiped her face.

Scared, I knelt down. I didn’t want to scare her or make her angry. But I knew it was time to apologize.

“Talk to me, Elaine,” I pleaded. My hands were shaking as I reached out to touch her face, but I pulled back at the last second.

“Please, tell me what’s wrong. I can’t stand this. I can’t feel you at all.”

“I hate you,” Elaine choked out. “I hate you so much!”

My hands froze in midair as Elaine looked up at me, tears streaming down her face.

She hated me. She hated me so much that there was no going back to what we once had.

“I hate you so much. I should have killed you a long time ago,” Elaine said, her voice filled with anger. “All of this is your damn fault!”

Her words stung like a swarm of bees. It was a deadly feeling.

I slowly lowered my hands and shook my head. She thought all of this was my fault? That I wanted this to happen?

All I ever wanted was to sit on the throne that I felt I deserved, the one I’d wanted ever since I saw my father claim it as his own. Was that so selfish of me?

“All of this is your doing. I wouldn’t be in this hellhole if it wasn’t for you!” Elaine spat out. I clenched my fists and turned my back to her so she wouldn’t see the shift in my expression.

I took a moment to think about what to do next, then I let out a breath and tilted my head back.

It didn’t matter. There was no point in getting angry. I deserved to be blamed, especially after what I’d done. It wasn’t the pup’s fault.

I moved back a few steps until I was standing right in front of her, then I bowed my head to the ground. With my eyes closed and my heart steady, I bowed before her.

I didn’t want to know why my mind was in turmoil. But one thing I knew for sure: I was doing this because it was my fault. All of her pain was my doing.

“Connor?” Elaine stuttered, but I kept my head down. “Connor, stop it!”

I shook my head.

If she was being stubborn, then I could be stubborn too.

“I’m sorry for everything, Elaine. I’m so sorry for dragging you into this mess,” I said, my voice clear and loud.

“You’re right. It’s all my fault. You can blame me, even for his death, for what I’ve done to you.”

Ever since the incident, guilt had been eating away at me. I thought hating her was what she deserved, but not what I’d done to her now.

And even though she didn’t want to admit it, I knew she was heartbroken about losing the baby, and that she blamed herself as well.

She didn’t have to tell me. I could see it when she got lost in her own thoughts, how her hands would instinctively move to her belly, or how she would come out of the bathroom with red eyes and a pale face.

After that terrible day, I noticed the tremors in her hands, the tears in her eyes, the shift in her mood, and how she pushed her brother away every time he tried to comfort her.

“I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I’m asking for it,” I said, my voice steady. “I hurt you and our pup.”

Elaine gasped. Then, silence. I lifted my head and met her gaze. Her eyes were filled with tears. She looked shattered. I felt myself crumbling too.

“I don’t deserve anything from you. You’re too good for someone like me. But I’m begging you today to please forgive me,” I pleaded, kneeling before her.

Elaine started crying, her sobs sounding like a child’s. I had no choice but to reach for her, pulling her into my lap.

I thought she would push me away, reject me. But she didn’t. She let me hold her.

“I never meant to hurt you two. I just wanted to satisfy my greed, my selfish desires,” I whispered, kissing her forehead.

It was hard to admit, but I felt awful about what I’d done. I was a terrible person. Even Khan knew it. We had both sinned in the worst way, and not even the Moon Goddess would forgive us.

We had betrayed everyone, and I had betrayed her.

“Please, Elaine, forgive me,” I said, holding her tighter.

I waited for what felt like forever before Elaine stood up, ran away, and locked herself in the bathroom without saying a word.

I swallowed the lump in my throat as I sank to my knees. Elaine wouldn’t forgive me. She never would.

With a forced smile, I stood and walked to the door, leaning against it. What was I supposed to do now?

***

My arm rested over my eyes as Elaine’s soft breaths reached my ears.

It was around midnight, and I couldn’t sleep, still bothered by the fact that Elaine hadn’t said a word after my heartfelt plea earlier.

It took her two hours to emerge from the bathroom, her eyes red and swollen, barely able to stand. It was the worst I’d ever seen Elaine. She still kept her distance from me, even after everything I’d said.

Turning onto my side, I watched her sleep. Her arm was draped over a pillow, her hair spread out around her.

I leaned over slowly, running my fingers through her hair. I twirled a strand around my finger, brought it to my lips, kissed it, and inhaled her scent.

Her scent was intoxicating, and it seemed to grow stronger each time. Was it because we had been together and our lycans were growing closer?

No, that couldn’t be. Not when Ashinawas was still hurting and Khan was silent in my mind.

Elaine shifted in her sleep, turning to face me. Her pink lips parted slightly as she continued to sleep.

Because of what happened earlier in the day, we had postponed our visit to the Sakura Pack until the next day.

Regulus understood. He even suggested it was better for us to stay here rather than visit another pack. He could see that Elaine was far from okay.

I smiled, leaning closer to her face. I wanted to kiss her, but I wouldn’t touch her again. I was grateful she was even sharing a bed with me. That was enough.

I shook my head and pulled back, but when I looked at her again, I found Elaine staring back at me, her eyes wide open.

“Elaine, are you okay?” I asked, sitting up with concern.

Tears started streaming down her pale face. I was worried.

“Elaine,” I reached for her. “Baby, what’s wrong?”

Elaine didn’t say a word, she just started crying harder. I panicked, considering calling her brother.

Was she sick, or was it something else?

Cursing under my breath, I pulled her into my lap. I held her, trying to comfort her, and it seemed to help.

“Better?” I asked. But she had her face buried in my chest. I sighed, pulling her away from me. “I need you to tell me what’s going on. You’re scaring me.”

Elaine wiped her tears with her hands, smearing snot all over her beautiful face.

I gently lifted her chin, forcing her to meet my gaze.

“I need to know if you’re sick,” I said, my voice rough.

“No,” Elaine finally choked out. Her voice was hoarse, but it was okay. “I’m sorry.”

I sighed in relief and leaned back against the headboard. Gently, I pulled her back into my arms. She didn’t resist, which was a good sign.

“No, don’t be.” I smiled.

After she finally relaxed, I sat her back down on her side. Elaine seemed like she didn’t want to part ways, but I knew she also needed her space.

I got up from the bed, grabbed some water, and handed it to her. She hesitated, but eventually took it.

I watched her drink quietly before she cleared her throat and set the glass on the nightstand.

“What time is it?” Elaine asked, looking out the window.

I glanced at the clock. “Almost one in the morning. We’ll leave soon.”

Elaine just stared out the window, silent.

“Go back to sleep,” I instructed. “I’ll wake you up when it’s time.”

I walked over to a nearby chair and opened my files. I could feel Elaine watching me from the shadows of the room.

That made me smile. I grabbed my pending tasks, ready to work. Once she saw I wasn’t going to bed, she laid back down.

***

“Thank you so much for everything,” I smiled at the alpha of the Crescent Pack.

“Thanks, both of you.” He bowed. We said our goodbyes and headed to the next pack.

Regulus started giving instructions to our pack members, and many of them responded before I turned my attention to Elaine, who was staring back at the tower in the woods.

“We should leave before it gets hot,” I whispered to her. Elaine snapped out of her daze and nodded.

We walked to the Sakura Pack, since it was nearby. It was Elaine’s request, as she wanted to see the sunrise from this side of the mountain.

I figured it was best to go along with her wishes. Whatever she wanted to do, I should support her.

It was the least I could do, after everything.

We strolled in silence, the early morning birdsong our only company. It was chilly, but not unbearable.

My thoughts drifted back to her mention of the Sakura Pack. It was odd that she said she’d visited and that the alpha was her cousin.

As far as I knew, family should all be in the same pack, so how was he an alpha from a different pack?

We walked shoulder to shoulder, a cool breeze brushing against us. Elaine was wearing a blue dress that fluttered in the wind.

The dress suited her, especially against her pale skin. Her eyes seemed brighter, clearer than they had in a long time.

We kept moving forward, following the path we’d taken before. Rivers and open fields stretched out across the pack’s territory.

This place was a sight to behold, a captivating landscape with an air of mystery. Especially that tower, whose purpose I didn’t know.

When we reached the pack, we saw Yuki standing alone on the cliff. A smile tugged at his lips as Elaine waved at him.

It was a sudden change, but maybe Yuki had a way of making her feel better.

I studied his face. Something about him, about the way he looked at Elaine, didn’t sit right with me.

Maybe I was just imagining things. I wasn’t sure. But something deep down told me not to trust him completely.

“Welcome back,” Yuki greeted us with a respectful bow, “alpha and luna of our packs. Please follow me.”

Elaine didn’t move, so I glanced over my shoulder.

“Elaine?” I whispered, but she was staring at the tower.

Yuki noticed us lagging behind and turned back, a frown creasing his pale face.

“Elaine?” Yuki called, sounding concerned.

Following her gaze, he saw her looking at the tower. The dark, gargoyle-adorned structure loomed ominously in the middle of the woods. It gave me a bad feeling.

Without warning, Yuki reached out and grabbed Elaine’s arm, pulling her away. Elaine gasped, snapping out of her trance, while Yuki looked angry.

I reacted instantly, reaching for his hand that was gripping Elaine’s arm. With a growl, he let go and stepped back.

What the hell was happening?

I didn’t know. But his touch on Elaine didn’t sit well with me.

“Let’s go,” Yuki muttered, leading the way back to the pack.

Elaine rubbed her arms and lowered her head. We hadn’t taken ten steps when we both froze.

A cold sweat broke out on my skin and the hairs on the back of my neck stood up. I swallowed hard.

Trying to stay calm, I lifted my head. Elaine was tense, her guard finally dropping around me.

Her hands clutched at her dress as her chest heaved.

I clenched my jaw and closed my eyes. I wanted to curse out loud, but I couldn’t, not when I knew what was happening.

A breeze blew by and her intoxicating scent hit me. I growled, and Elaine stopped breathing. My canines pierced my lips as my face half-shifted.

Yuki spun around, his face half-shifted and his claws extended.

I growled a warning, causing him to step forward.

“You need to calm down!” Yuki ordered, but all my attention was on Elaine, who was frozen in place.

I strode over to her, grabbed her arm, and turned her to face me.

Elaine’s face was flushed and her body trembled under my touch. I could feel the small electric pulls growing stronger the longer I held her.

“Alpha!” Regulus yelled from behind Yuki. My gaze shifted to him, but he stopped when he saw my half-shifted face.

“It’s okay, Connor.” Elaine’s shaky voice brought me back to reality. I looked down to see her comforting smile.

Swallowing hard, I intertwined my fingers with hers and hurried back to the mansion. Yuki and Regulus seemed unsure about following, but they did.

Once we reached the mansion, Yuki opened the door and looked at us.

“Everything you need is here,” he said, sounding tense. “Call if you need anything.”

“We won’t need you,” I snapped, but he didn’t flinch.

I noticed the worried glances Regulus and Yuki were giving Elaine. And they had every right to be concerned. When a lycan goes into heat, things can go either way.

It could be safe or dangerous, and right now, I was feeling the dangerous side. And since Elaine and I were the only mates here, I could only feel her heat.

Mateless males wouldn’t even notice unless they had their mate nearby. Their concern was understandable. I could lose control at any moment and become a monster.

I was aware of Khan’s uncontrollable desire, anger, and bloodlust. It even worried me to be around her. It wouldn’t be the first time I’d tried to hurt her, like the first time we shifted.

But I had to do my best not to hurt her again.

Remembering what I’d done before was what kept me and Khan in check.

Nodding in reassurance, Yuki looked at Elaine, who had her back to us. Taking a deep breath, he nodded at me and slowly closed the door.

I reached for the handle and locked the door. The last thing I needed was prying eyes.

I was about to turn around when I felt Elaine’s presence behind me. Turning slowly, I looked down at her. Her face was flushed and her eyes were full of desire.

Swallowing nervously, I moved as she slowly reached for my face. I didn’t need to ask what she was doing. I already knew.

So, I met her halfway and pulled her into me, our bodies colliding as we kissed deeply.

Elaine moaned against my lips. Her feverish body made me lose all sense of everything except her.

“Elaine,” I growled, reaching under her dress. She whimpered as my nails pushed her dress out of the way.

Her scent was intoxicating. Her arousal mixed with her bewitching scent stirred Khan to life.

Elaine didn’t hesitate. Her hands, shaking with anticipation, tore at my shirt, sending buttons scattering.

She moved to unbuckle my pants next, but I caught her hands, stopping her.

We were both gasping for breath. I’d promised I wouldn’t touch her again, and I intended to keep that promise.

Elaine looked at me, her brow furrowed in confusion. Ashina and Khan were both present, watching.

With a sigh, I sat up, taking her hands in mine. Then, gently, I lifted her into my arms. Elaine let out a surprised gasp, causing me to pause, concern washing over me.

I was torn about what to do next.

She looked so adorable, all flustered, that I couldn’t help but smile. But I didn’t want this to be uncomfortable for either of us.

I carried her to our room, which Yuki had meticulously arranged. Pushing open the double doors, we took in the spacious, perfectly arranged room.

A smile began to form on Elaine’s lips.

“Do you like it?” I asked, our eyes meeting. She nodded shyly, her gaze never leaving mine. I returned her look with a sad smile as she tilted her head in question.

I gently laid her down on the bed, positioning myself between her legs. She was half-dressed, so I grabbed the hem of her dress and ripped it from her body.

Elaine shivered as my eyes roamed over her bare skin. The sexy black lingerie she wore had me smirking. She looked heavenly in it, and I was itching to remove it, piece by piece.

But before I could continue, a thought crossed my mind.

She must have sensed my unease because she sat up and looked at me, her eyes filled with questions. I rubbed my face, grumbling to myself.

It wasn’t the right time to think about it, but Elaine had just lost the pup less than a week ago. I wasn’t comfortable with this, and I had made a promise to myself not to touch her again.

“Sorry,” I said, standing up. Elaine reached for my arm, but I pulled away from her touch.

She needed to give me time. I couldn’t rush this.

I closed the bathroom door behind me and paused. My eyes fell on my wrist where the shackles were. To my surprise, they weren’t glowing. Instead, a small purple light emanated from them.

It was warm.

The sound of a loud knock on the door startled me. I opened it to find Elaine standing there, her eyes wide. She was still undressed, but that wasn’t my concern right now.

Her blue almond-shaped eyes were focused on her wrist. I noticed the same purple glow on hers. It wasn’t just me, it was her too.

“What’s happening, Connor?” Elaine asked, holding up her wrist for me to see.

“I don’t know,” I whispered, because I truly didn’t know.