Chapter Five

The skyline is beautiful from up here, the view is more beautiful than the one from my apartment and this high up I can see the tops of trees and see buildings much like this one on the other side of the river. A cup of coffee warms my hands and I watch as the sun slowly rises from the east. A soft shirt slides along my skin and since it's Ares' shirt it reaches down almost to my knees.

"Black coffee, interesting choice." Ares voices brushes along my shoulder and neck and I chew on my lip, taking a small sip of my drink.

"Why is that interesting?" I ask, turning to face him.

He stands behind me, water dripping from his sculpted body, a towel swung low on his hips. He smiles, dipping a tea bag in his mug before taking a big gulp. "Well, you're a sweet lady and you're drinking bitter black coffee."

Rolling my eyes, I lean against the window. "I don't drink coffee that often, just when I didn't sleep well."

Ares smirks, setting his mug down on the glass table, he slides an arm around my waist and pulls me close to him. "You weren't complaining last night," he murmurs, nipping at my earlobe.

I sigh in exasperation, stepping out of his arms. "You're full of yourself aren't you?"

"No, but I think you were."

"You wouldn't fill me, so again you are full of yourself."

He raises an eyebrow, leaning against the table. "Is that what the cold shoulder is about?" he asks.

I down the last of my coffee and go to the elaborate kitchen, washing my cup. "Don't talk to me."

His presence warms my back and water drips from his hair to my shoulder. "Aphrodite, why does it matter that we didn't have sex last night?" Ares voice is calm and he smooths a hand over my back.

"What does it matter?" The bite is harsh in my voice and my skin crawls with too much emotion. His tenderness towards me, his choice to not have sex with me, his insistence on getting to know me.

Warm hands turn me around and he holds my shoulders, rubbing up and down my arms, coaxing me to look up at him. "I didn't have sex with you because it needs to mean something to you."

"Why does it have to mean something? You agreed last night this was just intimacy." My heart pounds in my chest and I lean into him.

"I like you. I think it's pretty obvious. If you want to just be fuck buddies, that's fine, for now. But when we have sex, it won't be meaningless."

Tears well in my eyes and I cross my arms over my chest as if to shield myself from his heartfelt words, warm eyes and gentle touch. "Can we go riding today?" I whisper, ignoring the tears that make a track down my face.

His thumb glides over the tears and he nods. "Go get ready and we can go."

-~-

We stop at the riverfront, the early morning breeze sliding soothing fingers along my scalp, the water rushing over the tops of my feet. Ares left me alone to tinker with his bike and make a call to his gang. I almost forgot the serenity of being alone.

My feelings have been a hurricane inside my head, tossing to and fro in an endless stream. The things he makes me feel versus the trauma of my past. The unwanted hands, the shameful feeling of being unable to say no, the rabbit fast pace of my heart on the isle where no one would hear my screams. Embarrassment heats my cheeks as I remember the gathering of the gods in a few weeks. I'll have to endure lustful stares of the immortals and the smug satisfaction from the Gods.

I sink down onto the damp grass, resting my chin on my knees. Ares will be there. What sort of person will he act like back on Olympus? Will he be the same as he is here? Or will he brag about me as his latest conquest? My stomach turns at the possibility of him exploiting what we had done. This is why I can't let sex with him be anything meaningful. It will be turned into something ugly and I can't bear the humiliation of Zeus looking at me, knowing someone got what he wanted.

My hair sways against my back and I close my eyes, like I was told to by a therapist, when I get anxious. My breathing evens and the cool water banishes the heat from my body and I run my nails over my legs in a soothing gesture to calm my nerves. The meeting in Olympus is still weeks away, I can do this.

Soon Ares returns and sits by my side, saying nothing. I turn to face him, studying his profile. Despite being alive thousands of years, I know very little about the God of War. At parties or gatherings I never really took notice of him. I was either a reluctant arm piece for Hephaestus or dragged by Persephone. Once marrying Hephaestus the gatherings were no longer enjoyable and there were no more paramours after him, well, until Ares.

"Why do you want it to mean something?" I don't have to elaborate on what I mean.

He doesn't look at me, watching the river pass by us, the breeze mussing his hair. "I told you, I like you," he says, as if that is a real answer.

"Really, most people would be happy with a mindless fling with me, but I offer it to you and you decline?"

Ares chuckles, finally looking at me. "You can't be so conceded that you'd be offended by me putting off sex with you."

"I just don't get you. You're the God of War. Don't war and sex go hand in hand?"

His gaze turns icy. "You can't be naive to think the sex that goes with war is sex." He pauses and goosebumps crawl up my arms. "Mindless flings lost their appeal a long time ago, Aphrodite. I know I am not the kind of man anyone would want to marry. I'm not naive enough to think someone will ever want to settle down with me, but I want one thing in my life to have meaning and that.. that is where you come in."

"Why me?"

"Why not you?"

Our gazes lock for the longest time  and his words open the locks around my heart as if they were nothing but flimsy tape. Never would I have ever thought Ares would be a man who would want to settle, yet I did not mistake the longing in his voice. His shoulder touches mine and I reach across and touch the side of his face, letting the two day old stubble scrape against my fingers.

"What do you want your life to mean?" I ask, so quiet the wind could have easily swept it away before it reached his ears just inches away.

He takes my hand and presses a kiss to my palm, then one to each of my fingertips. "I want it to have love. I want to know that the goddess of love loved the god of war. I want at least someone to know that I don't create war, I pad it. I used to be on the front lines Aphrodite, I saved thousands of people. No one tells those stories anymore. I am blamed for the wars politicians wage on each other. I am blamed for skirmishes between brethren. No one remembers me for what I am. So, I want my life to hold love, even if for a time."

My hand trembles in his grip and he pulls me to where I am almost in his lap, our noses touching. "Who says I will fall in love with you?" My voice is barely more than a whisper.

A smile graces his handsome face and his lips brush against my cheek sending my body up in flames. "Because I think you're already halfway there."

Even hours later his words linger with me. What he wants with his life, how I play a role and how he thinks I am already halfway in love with him. How absurd? In love after a few days, meaningful conversation and sexual relations, get a grip. He is not as irresistible as he thinks.

Yet, his face, his words, his touch stay with me. On my couch, at work, on my morning runs, in the shower, in bed. I can't get him out of my mind. Fuck this man! Ugh, I wish. If he had just given me what I wanted there would be no thinking about him. He'd be out of my system, hell he wouldn't have even been in my system. A good ole tumble in the sheets would have prevented all of this. No tragic misunderstood god who wants someone to love him, even if not forever.

Poor baby.

I roll my eyes as I put books on their shelves, my mind wandering to his hands on my body. His powerful stature striding through those glass doors and taking me between the shelves and leaving me in a trembling wet mess when a climax reached us both. My legs tremble and I shake the fantasy from my mind, slamming a book on the shelf.

While on my break, I eat my small peanut butter and jelly sandwich, watching jeopardy on the flat screen TV in the break room. A coworker named Fred comes in with a mischievous smile on his face. He only has that look on his face when he is about to divulge his most disturbing fantasies about our boss with me. I groan as he comes to my side and... yanks me from my seat.

"What the hell, Fred?"

He drags me to the service desk and displays a bouquet of lilies with a carving of a dove resting atop, so light it doesn't disturb the delicate flowers. "You have an admirer." He claps his hands together and bounces on his feet.

My stomach flips and my heart pounds in my chest. I pluck the little note card off of the flowers and open the small envelope.

Good morning, beautiful dove. I have been thinking of you since you left. These flowers cannot compare to the beauty of you, I do hope they will suffice. See you tonight for our date.

We don't have a date planned, I didn't even agree to go on a date with him. These facts don't keep my heart from skipping a beat and my toes curling in my shoes. What could he have in store for this "date"? Who knows with him, he has proven, thus far, to be quite unpredictable. Maybe I should just stand him up, ignore his request... no... demand for a date with me. I am a Goddess for Styx sake. I am not some barely pubescent human who will follow his every whim with no questions asked.

Despite all my inner rantings, I text Persephone and ask her to meet me at my apartment, my heart beating excitedly and my lips quivering into a small smile that I try to hide from my curious coworkers.

I, apparently, have a date to get ready for.