We Need A Plan

Soren

“She’s calming my wolf.”

My voice is so full of wonder and relief that for a few minutes I’m able to keep my wolf at bay.

Or rather, Gracie is able to.

“It makes sense. I mean, she probably holds the opposite power to Devlin; where he starts war, she calms it,” Zennen says, giving me a hand to help me up.

I shift Gracie in my arms and cradle her to my chest, rocking her back and forth slowly.

As her eyes get heavy, I can’t help my mind as it wanders over the situation. Noticing Craven fidgeting beside me, I know he’s doing the same.

As I’m about to speak my mind, Craven cracks and releases the questions that we’re all thinking about.

“What is going on, Soren? Why is your wolf practically ripping himself out of you? Why are we finding you on the floor with your own claws in your chest?”

I sigh before walking around my brothers and out of the bathroom. My niece is now fully asleep against my chest.

The three of them follow me. Zennen and Devlin are silent, whereas Craven continues to huff loudly. His frustration is seeping out of his every pore.

Once we make it back to Devlin’s quarters, I throw myself on the couch.

My movements are quick and sloppy, but not enough to wake the sleeping beauty who’s attached to my chest for dear life.

Sitting down on the couches around me, my brothers turn their full attention to me. Devlin’s frustration at my avoidance is hitting an all-time high, so while I can see he’s trying to be calm and understanding about this… It doesn’t really come out that way.

“You’re comfortable now, so fucking speak! This shit isn’t normal behavior for your wolf, Soren!

“You refuse to tell us what happened between you and Zayla, all we know is you want to make her immortal without losing her wolf, which we understand but…”

Pushing his hands out dramatically as Craven did earlier, Devlin makes random hand gestures to make his point clear.

“This shit isn’t normal. I’m a year younger than you and I’ve never fucking seen you so off-balance. Your wolf is practically trying to rip itself out of you.

“Not to mention your reapers are confused. Did you forget that they can feel your extreme emotions?

“Their jobs depend on you having your shit together, and from the look of your room and the state my child found you in, I’d say you don’t even know what that fucking word is.”

At the end of his rant he shoves himself back into the couch.

My face doesn’t change; it holds a sadness unfamiliar to them.

Clearing his throat, Zennen breaks the silence that threatens to take over the room. “You need to go back to Earth.”

Pure panic washes over me.

“I-I can’t.”

“Why can’t you?” Craven asks this time.

I can’t stop twirling my fingers through Gracie’s curls. Even in slumber, her fingers are emitting that strange light.

“I can’t go back to Earth because my wolf tried to kill her in my sleep. I can’t go back because if I do, I won’t be able to stop him.” My voice cracks as sorrow takes over.

“I can’t go back because I love her so much I feel like my chest is going to explode, and fuck, I’d let it if it kept her safe.”

My brothers all watch as a tear tracks down my face.

“I can’t kill her, I won’t. I would stay in the state you found me in for eternity if it meant she was alright. I don’t trust myself, I don’t trust my wolf, and that’s why you found me like you did.”

Reaching up with a shaking hand, I wipe the tear from my cheek. “How can I be one with a beast I don’t trust, how can I keep my shit together when I hate half of myself?”

Everyone falls silent. Helpless to resist, my exhausted body drifts into the arms of sleep as my brothers leave me alone. But even as they leave, I hear Devlin speak the words that tear my heart to shreds.

“If he can’t trust himself to be with his own mate,” Devlin says, “how can I trust him to be around my daughter? Soren is out of control. I can’t risk Gracie near him.”

I pull myself awake again, the thought of losing Gracie in my life the last straw.

“Wait! Dev, you can’t do that—”

My brother whips around, stomps over to stand beside me where I lie half-propped up on the sofa.

“My daughter’s life means more to me than even yours,” he shouts.

“Dev, you can’t take away the one person I have left, the one person who can help me right now!”

I am so exhausted the words feel like sand in my mouth. But Devlin won’t listen.

“I can take her away, and I will,” he says. “I will do anything to protect Gracie. Anything!”

He doesn’t understand.

My niece was the only thing keeping me sane right now.

I need her in my life.

Now, my beast is going to rip her from me, just as it has Lux.

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