Chapter 03. The First Step

Hmph, I dodged a day in the garden with Eagle, only to face Bear’s smug mug again.

I’m not over my grudge—not by a long shot! I sat there, glaring at him while he scribbled on some paper, completely unbothered.

“You’re about to burn a hole through me,” Bear said, eyes still glued to his work.

“Hmph! Who’s looking at you?” I huffed, propping my chin on my hand, trying to act indifferent.

“Did you bother Aethel?” he asked, like I was some kid sent to play at an uncle’s house.

“And if I did, what’re you gonna do about it?” I snapped, tapping my foot furiously, irritation bubbling over.

He didn’t answer, just gave that maddening half-smile.

Unable to hold back, I shot up, stormed to his desk, and slammed my hand down. “Tell me, why am I even here?” His gentleness was making me too bold, clearly.

Bear looked up, not angry or annoyed, just smiling.

“You tell me.” That cryptic grin made my blood boil.

“If I knew, would I be asking you?” I raised my voice.

He leaned closer, voice low. “Don’t cry now.” I glared, throat tightening.

Damn it, why am I so quick to tear up? I stood frozen, afraid speaking would unleash a flood.

“I-I’m sorry,” Bear said, clearly surprised by how fragile I was. Yeah, I’m that weak, okay?

Not wanting to dwell on it, I turned away, hiding my face.

“Wait, Ami. I didn’t mean—” He stepped in front of me, but I spun around again. It wasn’t him I was mad at—it was me. This crying habit ruined things with my mom, and now I was showing it to him.

“Hic!” I started sobbing. “Ami, turn around,” Bear said softly, a hint of firmness in his tone. Why was he mad at me?

“Hic! I hate you so much. Hic!” I couldn’t stop, tears streaming down. You’re the one I hate, Ami.

“It’s okay if you hate me. Just please, stop crying,” Bear said slowly, his voice warm and steady.

I turned, facing him. He wiped the tears from my cheeks, his gaze impossibly gentle. Not even my mom, or dad ever looked at me like that.

I cried harder, but in his arms, my sobs felt muffled, contained. I stood there, pressed against him, feeling both heartbroken and warm, unsure what to do but cry.

After sobbing my eyes out in Bear’s embrace, I calmed down. Then it hit me—awkwardness, then full-on embarrassment.

Gods, what’s wrong with me? Acting like that, saying those things, to someone I’ve barely met? You’ve lost it, Ami!

“Feeling better?” Bear asked, still gentle.

“Mm!” I nodded, staring at the floor, too mortified to look up.

“Sit,” he said. I obeyed, still avoiding his gaze, drowning in shame.

“Hm?” Suddenly, he knelt, his face level with mine. I wanted to turn away, but what’s the point of hiding forever?

“I didn’t bring you here for any grand reason,” he said, hesitating, unlike his usual calm. “We take in many exiles here. But that’s not why I brought you…” He faltered, struggling to say something.

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“Then why?” I asked, voice still thick from crying.

“Because… I li—” Before he could finish, Hyena burst in, waving a letter.

“Boss, a letter from Leotinus—” He froze at the door. The three of us stood in the most awkward silence ever. Hyena realized he’d interrupted, pivoted slowly, and slipped out without a word. I bet he was thinking, Go for it, boss!

“You should work. No need to explain,” I said, standing. “I’m going back to my room.”

I walked out before Bear could respond.

At the door, I jumped, seeing Hyena leaning against the wall, waiting.

“What, done already? Faster than I thought,” he teased, voice high and playful. “Done with what? Go report to Bear, he’s waiting,” I shot back, trying to sound casual.

“What? Boss is waiting? Alright, catch you later!” Hyena dashed in, excited. I was just bluffing, haha.

“Oh, wait,” I turned to a guard. “Can you lead me back?” He nodded but didn’t move.

I was puzzled until the maid from this morning appeared. “This way, miss.” So weird! I followed, too drained to question it.

Phew! What a day. I flopped onto the bed, staring at the ceiling, sighing. Why did Bear bring me here? Honestly, it doesn’t matter much. He said they take in exiles, and that made me realize something.

In Caelora, they always badmouthed the beastfolk, calling them cruel and filthy. But since arriving, I haven’t seen anyone malicious. They’re friendly, even gentler than Caelorans. Eagle tends a garden with such care, not half-heartedly at all. One person doesn’t represent everyone, but this place feels… so different from what I was taught.

I wonder how he’s doing—the guy exiled with me. He was so cheerful, not upset at all. Whatever, I’ll think about it later. “Yawn!” So sleepy… I’ll nap a bit.

Ami jolted awake from a nightmare, drenched in cold sweat, heart pounding like it might burst. In the dream, she thrashed in thick, suffocating water, her breath burning, body freezing, as darkness swallowed her. She tried to scream, but only choked sounds came out.

Awake, I coughed softly, clutching the cold sheets, my body heavy, like something was pressing me down.

“Miss, are you okay?” the maid’s voice called from behind the curtain, startling me.

“I’m fine, haha, thanks,” I said weakly, leaning against the headboard, trying to steady my breathing. Damn it, why’s that nightmare back now? I rubbed my temples, wincing.

“Here, drink some water,” the maid offered, lingering.

“Thanks, you’re too kind,” I said, forcing a smile through the dream’s aftershock.

“You look pale. Shall I fetch someone to check on you?” she asked.

“No, no need. I get these sometimes, haha, no big deal,” I waved her off. This nightmare wasn’t new—I was used to it. But if Bear found out, it’d be a hassle.

“Um… don’t tell him, okay? Bear, I mean,” I said cautiously.

She hesitated, then nodded. “I’ll get your meal.”

“Thanks!”

“Phew!” I glanced out the window, the golden-orange light showing it was late afternoon. I slept that long?

These days, it’s just eating and sleeping, no worries except dealing with Bear. I curled up, resting my chin on my knees, staring at the light filtering through the thin curtain. No, I came here to spy on their plans, report to Caelora, and get back. Don’t get too attached… My eyes dimmed, a pang of reluctance hitting me.

“Come on, cheer up, Ami! Where’s that radiant girl?” I pep-talked myself, then a knock came.

“Who’s that?” I peeked out.

“It’s me, miss,” came the fox-man’s annoying voice.

“What do you want? You ditched me and now show up?” I snapped.

“Haha, you hold a grudge, don’t you? I had no choice,” he replied.

Click! I opened the door. “No choice? If I’d been eaten, would you still say that?” I crossed my arms, fuming.

“No way, I knew you’d be fine,” he grinned.

I glared, then sat. “So, why’re you here?”

Fox strolled in, sitting across from me. “Just passing on a message from Orson.” At Bear’s name, my hand froze mid-pour.

“…Why didn’t he come himself?” I asked, voice low.

“He got bad news from Leotinus and had to leave urgently, no time to tell you.”

Leotinus? The name Hyainos mentioned… I stayed silent, a strange feeling stirring.

“Bad news… about Caelora?” I mumbled, face falling.

“Haha, don’t worry, Orson’ll be back soon,” Fox said, but his sly smile dodged something.

“Worry? Hmph,” I muttered, looking away.

“I’ll head out then,” Fox said, standing.

“Wait… w-when’s he back?” I asked, avoiding his gaze.

He smirked. “Let’s see, half a year? A year? Maybe longer, depending.”

I froze. That long? “D-Don’t mess with me,” I frowned.

“Haha, I’m serious. We’re heading out to support affected regions soon, so you might be alone for a bit. Sorry.”

“What? Take me with you!” I shot up, leaning close, eyes pleading.

“With us? It’s dangerous—” Fox said. I didn’t speak, just stared harder, lips pursed.

“Ugh, fine. I’ll tell Orson,” Fox sighed.

“No! He’ll never let me go,” I cut in.

“How do you know?”

“Fox! You ditched me once, you gonna do it again?” I said, eyes welling up—on purpose this time.

“Hey, don’t cry! Ugh, fine, I’ll take you along, alright?” Fox gave in, then added, “By the way, my name’s Zorion. Stop calling me Fox.”

Hehe, score! “Alright, thanks, Zorion, hehe,” I grinned instantly, catching him off guard.

“You—” Fox sighed, waving a hand at me.

“I’m warning you, if anything happens, I’m not responsible. If Bear asks, I’ll say you snuck along, got it?”

“Oh, the sly fox charm’s slipping,” I teased, standing tall with a mock salute. “Understood, Sir Zorion.”

He shook his head, chuckling helplessly. “We leave in two days. Get yourself ready.”

“Got it!” I flashed a toothy grin.