Hail Mary: Chapter 17

No one noticed me when I walked through the door.

Not that that surprised me, considering half the cheerleading team was there as well as a dozen or so sorority sisters. I spotted Kyle and Braden in the kitchen lining up shots with a group of girls gathered around them, and while a lot of the team was there, I noticed Zeke and Clay weren’t, which meant Riley and Giana wouldn’t be either.

As much as I loved those girls, I was glad I didn’t have to put on a happy face and pretend I wanted to party when it was the absolute last thing on my mind. Thank God they both had boyfriends they were obsessed with.

I weaved through the crowd up to my room, smiling when I found Palico curled into a ball on the clothes I’d left on my bed.

She yawned and stretched when I quietly shut the door behind me, and I petted her until she was satisfied before stripping out of my clothes and jumping in the shower. I didn’t do the whole hair-washing and leg-shaving song and dance, just rinsed off and sighed with contentment once my sweatpants were slipped on. I grabbed the biggest t-shirt I had next, not bothering with a bra, and popped a blueberry-flavored edible in my mouth before flopping down on my bed.

I hadn’t seen Leo on my way up, and I wondered for a moment if he was in his room with a girl already.

Then, I angrily shoved the heels of my hands into my eyes before putting on my headphones to drown out the noise of the party.

And my brain.

For a while, I sat propped up in my pillows with my iPad, drawing as Palico purred where she was tucked in by my side. When the edible started to hit, I felt all the tension of the day melt out of me, and my drawings became more fluid, more free.

Somewhere around one in the morning, I stood and stretched, cracking my back with a few quick twists before I stared at the door that led down the hall. A small part of me wanted to join the party now, but the larger part didn’t want to put on makeup or wear anything with underwire or zippers involved. I could have gone to sleep, but I wasn’t exactly tired.

My ears hurt from my headphones, so I took them out and opened my window, savoring the cool breeze and gentle quiet of the night. Then, before I could even think about what I was doing, I shoved the window all the way up and crawled out onto the roof.

The room they’d given me overlooked the garden, and I crawled only a few feet above my window before I sat my ass right on the cool shingles, crossing my bare feet under me and leaning back on my palms. The party was loud enough that the music and laughter spilled into the night, but it was softer out here, farther away, and the gentle high I had from the edible made me feel weightless and happy.

For the first time all night, I felt at peace.

“You found my spot.”

I jumped, nearly toppling off the roof when I whipped around and found a shadowed figure hunched a little higher on the roof. I’d no sooner caught my balance before the shadow edged into the light from the streetlamp, and Leo’s hand shot out to make sure I didn’t fall.

He had no right to look as good as he did in the moonlight, and I knew my high only made him appear more appetizing. His hair was somewhat styled, but tussled by the wind, his eyes were glossed over and tired but somehow enticing, too. He wore a light pair of denim jeans I wouldn’t allow myself to focus on too long, and a sweater that he’d shoved up past his forearms to bunch at his elbows.

Why did his forearms turn me on so much?

I wanted to pull one of those arms into my lap and draw all over it, wanted to tattoo it, to mark him permanently with my art.

I shrugged him off once I had my balance, pretending like I didn’t need him to gain it. “You would be out here.”

I didn’t say it with the vitriol I spat at him earlier, but rather in a disappointed kind of sigh. I should have known the peace couldn’t last.

I was already making to scoot my way back down the roof and inside when his hand caught the crook of my elbow.

“Don’t leave.”

My skin burned where he touched me, and I followed the lines of his forearm up to where the sleeves of his sweatshirt had been shoved up. I couldn’t lift my gaze any higher, but I didn’t move, either.

“I’ll go, if you want to be alone.”

“No,” I said when it was him who started to move. “I didn’t realize it was your spot. I’ll go.”

“I don’t own it. You live here, too.”

“It’s fine, I was just…” I quieted, not sure exactly what I was trying to do.

“How about we share?” he offered with a smirk, settling in beside me. “And if I start to piss you off, which we both know is likely, just say the word and I’ll go.”

“Or I could push you off the roof.”

“That is another option. Not my favorite one, though it’s probably yours.”

The corner of my mouth lifted just a bit as I sat back on my palms again, eyes on the sky and then the garden. I didn’t know why it made me happy that Leo would rather be on a rooftop than inside partying, but it did.

I blamed the edible.

“I’m sorry about earlier,” he said after a beat.

I slowly turned to him, but he kept his eyes on the roof, his knees bent and elbows balancing on them.

“With the candles,” he clarified, still not looking at me. “I overstepped.”

I sighed, and tried once again to blame the weed when I said, “You don’t need to be sorry. It was me being a brat. You did something nice and I…”

“Didn’t know how to accept it?”

I swallowed, cracking my neck in lieu of an answer.

“I’m sorry I barged into your room and screamed at you like a psycho,” I said. “It’s just… been a weird night, I guess.”

“I kind of liked you screaming at me,” Leo said, arching a brow and finally looking at me. “It was hot.”

I tongued my cheek before shoving him hard enough to knock him down the roof if he hadn’t been braced for it. He laughed, steadying himself, and then we both fell quiet again.

“What happened?”

“Hmm?” I asked.

“You said it’s been a weird night. Why?”

I sighed at that. “Well, my parents called, which is never a good thing. And I’m pretty sure my boss hit on me tonight, so now I’m questioning if the past year of my life has been a waste.”

I chuckled with the admission, trying to make light of it, but when I looked at Leo, his expression was stone cold, jaw tense, brows in a firm line over his eyes.

“What did he do?”

I blinked, then barked out a laugh when I realized he was serious. “Calm down, Mr. Chivalrous. It wasn’t anything overt. I’m sure I’m overthinking it,” I said, even though I felt the ickiness of that lie sliding into my gut as I turned back to the garden. “And I can handle it.”

Leo didn’t seem happy with that response, but to his credit, he left it alone, brooding to himself instead of saying whatever it was he wanted to say.

”I also got a call from Margie earlier,” I said after a while.

Leo’s expression softened. “And?”

“And on top of the water issue, they found mold.”

“Shit.”

“Yeah.”

“Well, you can stay here as long as—”

“We both know this room isn’t going to be vacant for much longer,” I said, meeting his eyes.

He swallowed, not confirming but not denying, either. Fall camp would start soon for the team, which meant whoever was taking Holden’s old room would be moving in — probably within a week or two.

“It’s fine, I’ll figure something out,” I said. “Like I said, I can handle myself.”

A strong wind whipped over the top of the house and down over us, making me shiver as I tucked my knees into my chest. This was what I loved most about living in New England, how the summers could bring blistering heat but also nights that felt like fall.

“Fuck, hermosa, you’ve gotta be cold in that,” Leo said, as if he just noticed I was wearing a t-shirt. To be honest, I’d just realized I was only wearing a t-shirt, sans bra, because of course. I folded my arms over my chest in an effort to hide my piercings, though I wasn’t sure why.

Then, without another word or a chance for me to respond, Leo ripped his sweater overhead and handed it to me.

I looked at it, at him, back at the sweater, and then laughed.

“What?”

“Are you seriously offering your sweater to me right now?”

His mouth flattened. “Are you seriously being so stubborn you won’t take it even though you’re clearly freezing?”

“I’m fine,” I said, internally cursing the goosebumps that broke on my arms at the exact moment that lie found its way into the night. “And besides, it wouldn’t fit me.”

“What are you talking about?”

I gestured to my body. “Have you seen me? I’d stretch it out.”

“Shut the fuck up and put on my sweater.”

My mouth popped open. “How da—”

“Woman,” he seethed, cutting me off, and then his hand shot out and grabbed me by the wrist. He shoved my hand through one of the arm holes before doing the same to my other, all while I struggled to break free without flailing so much that I pitched myself off the roof.

When I wouldn’t sit still, he hastily yanked the thing over my head and then grabbed the neck hole and pulled me so close I could smell the sweet, heady notes of tequila on his breath when he said, “You can either wear this sweater or I’ll use it to tie you down and warm you up with my body heat, instead.”

There was a challenge in his eyes, one punctuated with that cocky smirk I hated so much. But I found it impossible to fight back with his hands on me like that, with his breath whispering over my lips.

I swallowed, shoving him away and relenting as I tugged the sweater the rest of the way on. “There. Happy?”

“Very.”

Leo sat back with a victorious smile, and I shook my head, hating that while I was irritated, I was also fighting back the urge to swoon.

I’d always wanted a guy to give me his jacket.

So what if it was a sweater instead. It was still Leo’s. It smelled like him, like a spicy body wash and lush green grass on a hot summer day. I inhaled that scent on a sleepy-eyed smile, and then a laugh bellowed out of me before I could stop it.

“What?” Leo asked, watching me with an amused smile.

“Nothing.”

“You never giggle, so don’t tell me that was nothing.”

That made me laugh again. Or was it the edible? Everything felt so warm and lovely now that I had his sweater on, now that my high was really settling in.

“Nothing, it’s just…” I bit my lip, but it didn’t stop me from spilling what I know I would have kept locked up if I were sober. “When I was younger, I used to fantasize about a guy giving me his jacket.”

Leo’s smile crept up. “Really? You?”

“Yes, me,” I said defensively, smacking his chest. “I specifically dreamed about it being a letterman jacket, about a guy liking me so much he wanted me to wear something that claimed me like that.”

I shook my head at the stupid admission, cheeks flushing.

Then, I sobered on the memory that it hadn’t been just any guy I’d fantasized about.

It had been Leo.

I found myself exasperated by how easily my brain took me back to the past again, by how frequently it had been doing so lately. Before I could say another word, though, Leo hopped up and was carefully moving up the roof.

“What are you doing?”

“Be right back,” was all he called over his shoulder before disappearing.

I blew out a breath, and the longer I was alone, the more I debated sneaking back inside. I hated that I wanted to be there with him, that I loved the fact that he was up here with me when he could be inside with any other girl on campus.

“Don’t be a fool,” I chastised myself, and I was already starting to peel off his sweater when I heard him fumbling down the roof to me.

I turned just in time for him to open a huge jacket and wrap it around me from behind.

Not just a jacket.

His letterman.

I froze when the weighted fabric cloaked me, my heart pounding in my ears.

“What are you doing?” I thought I heard myself ask.

I glanced up at Leo, who only shrugged and tucked the jacket tighter around me. “Making dreams come true.”

My breathing intensified, heart quickening its pace until it felt like just a flutter in my chest. I looked down at where the navy-blue wool hugged me, fingers deftly tracing the leather accents, the buttons, every little piece all the way up to our school’s letter.

I knew without confirming that his last name was sprawled across the back.

For a moment, I was fifteen again, floating on the cloud Leo Hernandez built just for me. I was living on angst and butterflies until his name lit up my screen, dreaming about his voice, smiling every morning when I saw a text from him waiting on my phone.

“It looks good on you,” Leo said, his voice all a part of the foggy haze.

But when I lifted my gaze to meet his, I realized I was smiling.

And when his eyes fell to my mouth, when he swallowed and glanced back up at me like he wanted… like he wanted to…

I plummeted down to earth again, landing with a painful splat.

Hastily, I shrugged the jacket off my shoulders, ripping his sweater overhead next. I couldn’t breathe, let alone speak as I started fumbling my way down the roof.

“Mary, wait.”

Leo abandoned the layers of him I’d shed on the shingles and chased after me. He passed me easily, blocking my window before I could climb through it.

“Move, Leo.”

“What happened? Why do you shut down any time I try to get close to you?”

I was so dizzy I nearly fell off the roof. “Please, just move.”

Leo let out a frustrated breath, but to my surprise, he did as I asked, sliding out of the way and even offering a hand to help me inside. I ignored it, of course, but once my feet were planted on the cold wood floor of my room, he pressed his hands on the window ledge and leaned in, keeping me from shutting the window.

“Why do you hate me so much?”

I was still having an internal freakout, but thankfully my instincts kicked in and I scoffed. “I don’t care about you enough to hate you.”

“I’m serious,” he said, not deterred. “You’re nice to the other guys. Friendly, even.”

“Yeah, well, they aren’t complete pigs.”

“And I am?”

I met his eyes then, and instantly regretted it. He looked like he wanted to crawl through that window, through me, like he wanted to rip me open until he could see everything I was hiding.

“Just because you ask doesn’t mean I have to answer,” I said softly.

I reached up for the window, ready to close it, but Leo didn’t budge.

“Can I have a second chance to right whatever it is I did wrong?”

I stared at the floor so I wouldn’t have to stare at him, and my heart thumped loudly with the desire to tell him yes.

But then I latched onto the truth in his question.

He still didn’t even know what he’d done.

He still didn’t realize who I was.

“Goodnight, Leo,” I whispered.

I held my shaking hands on the window frame, listening to the way his ragged breaths matched mine until he finally, wordlessly, backed out of my room.

I slid the window shut without another glance in his direction, pulling the blinds closed before I had the chance to change my mind.