Chapter 3

Q

~You’re my obsession, I’m your possession,

you own the deepest part of me…~

I ran.

I ran away like a fucking girl. My body felt foreign—thick, sated, but angst-ridden and ferocious. I wanted to punch something. I wanted to scream at Tess for what she did.

I wanted to attack anyone stupid enough to come within grabbing distance. I had to get the hell out of there.

She forced me.

She made me lose control.

I~ never~ lost control.

Slamming the bathroom door, I stalked to the black twin-sink vanity and put my hands on either side of a basin. Bowing over, I sucked in ragged breaths, trying to calm the rapid tempo of my heart.

My cock still seeped even after blowing two loads in one. I almost drowned her when I exploded down her throat. It wasn’t satisfied. ~I~ wasn’t satisfied.

~I~ I was a lot of things, but satisfied didn’t come fucking close.

The instant I thought about her touch, her fingers pressing so hard between my fucking legs, my stomach trembled and my cock—the bastard—grew thick and heavy.

Never before had a woman stolen what was singularly mine. Never before had someone made me come before I was ready. They knew better than to be so bold.

Tess knew better, yet she didn’t give me a choice.

My eyes squeezed shut, and all I could see was a replay.

~Her hair was spun gold between my fingers as I guided her mouth over my cock. Her warm, wet lips sealed around me, my back tinged with fireworks, and my balls tightened painfully.

The rope of hair strangled her little by little and I waited for her to gag and pull away; to glare at me with accusing blue eyes and refuse to pleasure me.~

~But she didn’t.

She leaned further, strangling faster. Her mouth filled with delicious lubrication and she added the sharp thrill of teeth.

Everything she did was perfect, and my orgasm started slow and promising. Then she ruined it by shoving her hand behind my balls and finding that fucking spot that turned me to mush.~

~I flinched when her hand went where no one had touched before. Her fingertips pressed up, rubbing me directly into torment.~

~My orgasm shifted gears from slow to ultrasonic. Merde, it felt amazing. Beyond amazing—body-shattering, mind-blazing, backbreaking.~

~I jerked away, digging my toes into the carpet, trying to hold off the release, but she moved with me. She didn’t let me go.

Her goddamn hand stayed pulsing, rocking, and her mouth became the perfect vessel to unload into.

My thoughts turned into one long stream of curses as I battled two conflicting emotions.

Lust.

Terror.~

~Lust because she drove me fucking insane. I forgot who I was. I forgot why I had to stay in control. I forgot everything but grabbing her head and making her swallow my cum.

Terror because the walls between me and the beast were obliterated. Extinguished by a fragile girl bent between my legs. No one was safe when that happened.~

I opened my eyes, glowering at myself in the mirror. ~You’re a bastard, Mercer.~

I should head right back into the bedroom and order Tess to spread her sexy little legs and plunge deep inside her. She’d almost cried when I denied her.

It was a cunt move to let her stay on the edge after she gave me the best orgasm of my life, but I was pissed. Beyond pissed. Confused.

My fingers clawed the marble countertop, and I fought the other emotion I tried hard not to acknowledge.

Resentment.

Resentment toward Tess, but mainly toward myself. I couldn’t stop it. All my life, I prided myself on having ultimate control over my body, over my thoughts and needs.

But in one move, Tess shredded those conceptions, annihilated my prized restraint, and turned me into a fucking Neanderthal.

She stole my control and instead of fighting it, I relinquished myself into her touch, allowed her to spell me, trap me; allowed my body to rule my mind.

How could I ever trust myself again?

I sighed, turning around to enter the black marble shower. The surfaces were so highly polished my reflection stared back at me.

Haunted.

My eyes were haunted, and the truth of why I was so angry shone bright. Tess drew more than just cum from me, she took an element of dominance, and if I was honest, I hated it.

Wrenching on the shower, I flinched as cold droplets turned instantly hot. The pinpricks of heat helped leech away my rolling emotions, and I grabbed the soap to lather on my chest.

Memories of taking Tess in the shower the very first time sprang to mind as I dropped my hands to spread bubbles onto my cock. She’d been so hurt and mentally ruined from the rape.

But I liked to think my untraditional way of replacing the memory with myself helped remove the pain and shock from her eyes.

Water sluiced away the remainder of Tess’s spit, and I groaned when I squeezed a tad too hard.

Gritting my teeth, I stroked again. Angry, violent strokes—taking punishment out on the part of my body that failed to obey.

I wanted more. I wanted to drive deep inside her and make her promise never to make me feel so controlled again. She made me feel…weak. Not the man I knew.

It made me soft, and I’d never had a soft moment in my life.

My hand worked harder, gripping too tight until the head of my cock throbbed. Spreading my legs, I settled in for a quick release, but I paused.

This wasn’t fair. ~Why should I get to come again, when Tess is probably living a nightmare right now?~

It took discipline and a tight jaw, but I uncurled my fist and let my cock free. My muscles bunched tight, and no matter how long I stayed in the shower, I couldn’t relax.

Twenty minutes later, I strode from my bedroom dressed in a dark gray suit. The somber color reflected my mood perfectly: tense, horny, and entirely fucked up over a woman who had me by the balls.

Literally.

Stalking through my home, I found Tess in the carousel room where I’d put her after the horrible incident with Lefebvre. The clothes I’d bought her remained down here.

We hadn’t made the move to relocate her to my bedroom. That final step toward admitting our lives were merging together hadn’t been taken yet, and I didn’t know if I was thankful or annoyed.

Tess sat on the end of the bed, rolling pantyhose over her smooth skin, snapping it into place with a lacy garter belt peeking from beneath a tight skirt.

She’d gathered it around her hips, so it looked more like a belt, and fuck, I wanted to rip it off her.

Tess was right about me enjoying ripping her clothes. It was a symbol. A way to tear and destroy without killing her.

She looked up and jumped straight to her feet, holding her chest. The perfectly cut blazer hugged her curves while the flimsy cream shirt underneath showed shadows of skin and bra.

My mouth watered; I swallowed hard against the urge to throw her over my shoulder and cart her back upstairs. Screw punishing her. It was fucking punishing me, too, and I’d had enough for one morning.

“Q. Crap, you scared the bejesus out of me.” She rolled her shoulders, shedding the shock in her eyes, replacing it with interest and attraction. “I’ll never get used to you moving so silently.

“You’re like a freaking ghost.”

I gave a rueful smile. “My silence comes in handy when I want to be unheard.” I stepped toward her, already sporting a rock-hard erection. “I like watching you while you think you’re alone.”

She bit her lip, prickling with energy. Her eyes locked onto my lips and I threw caution and resentment and every other fucked-up emotion I felt out the goddamn window.

I grabbed her by the back of the neck, jerking her toward me.

She gasped; her hands came up to steady herself on my chest. My skin electrified beneath her touch.

I growled, “Turns out I’m punishing myself by punishing you.” I ran my tongue over her bottom lip, nipping at her, teasing her. “I don’t like it.”

She sighed, pressing herself hard against me. She trembled as she rocked her hips against my leg. “Does this mean you’ll let me come?” Her voice was a thread, aching with need.

I picked her up to throw her on the bed. I couldn’t think straight; all I wanted was her pussy around my cock.

~“Merde. Je suis désolé!”~I’m sorry.

Tess froze in my arms, looking over my shoulder toward the open door. An embarrassed smile bloomed on her face; her cheeks flushed bright pink. “Morning, Suzette.”

I groaned. That woman had the worst fucking timing in the world. I let Tess down, dragging out the moment, slinking her over my body.

She tried to stay composed in front of the staff, but her heartbeat thrummed in her neck and my eyes latched onto the small bite I’d given her. Her skin slightly shadowed from my ungentle fingers.

The moment Tess stood on her feet, I spun to face Suzette with eyes narrowed and frustration darkening my voice. ~“Qu'est-ce qu’il y a?”~ What is it?

She ducked her head, smiling shyly at Tess behind me. Damn the sisterhood bond they had going on. I liked that Tess had friends. I liked that my staff loved her.

But I didn’t like being the third wheel, the one they’d talk about the moment I was out of earshot.

“The helicopter is waiting to depart. The captain asked me to come and find you. You missed takeoff over an hour ago.”

Pushing up my cuff, I checked my Rolex—the same Rolex I stole from my father after I shot him in the head. Shit, I’d missed a morning meeting, too.

“Tell him we’ll depart in fifteen minutes,” I ordered, falling into hard-assed CEO mode.

Suzette scurried off, and I spun to face Tess. I couldn’t stand to be around her; the need to molest her was too strong. Swallowing the urge, I pointed at the bite on her neck. “Cover that.

“I’ll meet you downstairs in five minutes.”

And I ran again. Like a fucking pussy.

I found the one I searched for in the reading nook on the second-floor landing.

It overlooked the foyer, bright and airy—it was the perfect illusion of ultimate freedom, all the while remaining in the house.

“Morning, Sephena.”

She flinched, hugging the latest fashion magazine to her chest and cowering in the chair.

Her knee bones jutted starkly under the jeans I’d bought for her, and she refused to wear anything but baggy sweaters that hid her gaunt frame.

My hands curled into fists as anger seeped into me. The night Franco brought Sephena here she’d been dressed in a bikini that wrapped around her body like an Egyptian mummy.

The sick bastards who sold her liked to unwind her, make her dizzy, poke and prod until she was naked and forced to do God knows what.

“Morning, sir.” Her timid voice never rose past a whisper. She refused to make eye contact with me, preferring to dog-ear the corner of the magazine and hunch into a ball.

I hated the stench of fear, appalled by her destroyed soul and beaten body. The beast in me tucked its tail between its legs when faced with prey that was already broken beyond repair.

Damaged girls brought out the need to protect them from harm, but they also turned me off completely. I waged with wanting to save them and wanting to kill them just to put them out of their misery.

I stayed my distance, heading to the banister to give her some space. “Did you want me to call your husband? I’m sure he’d love to talk to you.”

She shook her head violently, sending matted brown hair all around her face. Tears spilled instantly, tracking down her cheeks. “No! I can’t. He can’t see me like this. I can’t.

“No… Please, don’t make me.”

I held up my hand, fighting the urge to run from such desperation. I couldn’t run from this. This was the reason I existed. My one redeeming quality to make up for the evilness living in me.

“You can stay here as long as you need. However, he does know you’re here.”

I called him the moment I learned her identity. The local police located her loved ones through a missing persons search. Sephena had been stolen from her husband while on their honeymoon in Greece.

Three fucking years she belonged to a whorehouse for upmarket businessmen. A place where no questions were asked, any freakish perversion was permitted, and all lips were sealed.

Sephena sat with tears dripping into her lap. In a horrible daydream, she morphed into Tess. Broken, undernourished, and shattered beyond my reach.

The thought of Tess ever being that way choked my heart with such fear I couldn’t breathe.

~Tess will never be like Sephena. Tess is mine. I’ll protect her forever.~

I needed to leave. “If you want anything, please don’t hesitate to ask.

“I won’t rush you to talk to your husband, but soon you’ll have to face your past and move on if you want to have any chance of happiness.

“You need those who love you, not to stay hidden in a rambling house like this.” I gave her a soft smile and descended the stairs.

My thoughts turned to Tess. She would work for me and it would be a relief of sorts. It would be good to have a diplomatic relationship. Purely business. I wouldn’t be able to touch her.

She’d be my employee—completely off-limits.

Maybe then my brain would finally see her as something other than a strong-willed woman who I longed to break. Maybe I could force myself to change by acknowledging she was my equal.

~You’ll still want her blood, you bastard.~

I sighed heavily.

Even if we did work harmoniously together, it meant a whole other issue of office gossip.

How would I ever explain to my staff why the woman I lived with couldn’t sit down without wincing, or why she had to apply makeup on her neck to keep certain marks hidden?

~“I said I’d fight for you. That you deserved to be fought for. You’re worth every fight. Every argument and bump in the road.~

~“I’ll fight because I’m falling for you, Q.~” Tess’s voice popped into my head.

Did she truly mean that? I couldn’t be honest with her though.

I’d murdered my father, buried my drunken lout of a mother, and fucked a slave when I freed her, all because my willpower had an expiration date. She’d hate me.~ I~ hated me. No. Tess would never know.

~I~ It was better that way.

The one person who knew everything was Frederick, and one was more than enough. Even Suzette and Franco didn’t have a clue what had truly happened.

I preferred to live in the dark. On my own. I didn’t want Tess to know the real me. She’d run. She’d break her promises and leave. And that was completely unacceptable.

Giggling greeted my ears as I entered the lounge, heading for the kitchen.

I kept my face blank, even though I wanted to scowl when I found Tess and Suzette, leaning close, hands around steaming coffee cups.

“So you’re going to ~Moineau~ Offices? Are you scared?”

“Scared? Why would I be?” Tess asked.

“Well, dealing with Q at home is bad enough. Working for him—” Suzette’s eyes flew up, connecting with mine.

This time I didn’t hold back and glowered with every fucking annoyance I felt. “Are you quite done, Suzette?”

She flushed a bright shade of maroon and darted into the pantry.

Tess laughed, taking a sip of her cappuccino. “No need to laser-beam the poor woman with your eyes. She was only making sure I was mentally prepared.”

I huffed, stalking toward the already poured and perfectly made latte. Suzette may not know when to keep her bloody mouth shut, but she made a damn good coffee.

The sun warmed the top of my head and shoulders through the skylight and the kitchen glittered in the morning light.

Tess never took her eyes off me as I sipped the hot liquid. I kept myself guarded.

The way she sat with her elbows on the table and cup to her lips caused her shirt to gape, showing glimpses of her bra and barely covered breasts.

Teases of red from whip marks made my cock thicken in my pants and all I wanted to do was grab a knife, slice off her clothing, and fuck her.

My legs locked into place as the need to savage her built behind my eyes. Every part of me felt wrong—not complete until I took her. Took her screaming and moaning and crying out for more.

Fuck, I wanted her pussy to clutch around me. I wanted to douse her insides with cum so she smelled like me all day long.

~Think of something else. Sephena. Think of the poor broken women who dealt with bastards like you and didn’t survive.~

That put a stop to my lust, but only enough so I didn’t fuck Tess in front of the staff.

Goddammit, I’d have to keep my distance the entire day to resist fucking her in public.

Suzette wandered out of the pantry, her arms laden with flour and other ingredients. Her body rolled in on itself, trying to be as small as possible.

She sucked in a shaky breath. “I’m sorry, master. I didn’t mean to speak out of turn.” Her hazel eyes held the same crippled terror that used to haunt her when she first came to me.

I’d worked so hard to remove that fragmented look, the part of her that was defective—shattered by bastards who broke her bones for pleasure.

I put the coffee down and pinched the brow of my nose. I was on a roll today. Pissing everyone off and being an asshole. “I’m not angry.

“Everything’s fine.” I dropped my arm to pat her on the shoulder, but she shied backward, trembling.

Goddammit, she’d regressed. “Don’t you ~dare~ fear me, Suzette. I will never hurt you.”

Tess froze on the barstool, never taking her eyes off Suzette. Anyone with half a brain could see she wasn’t the same carefree woman who’d giggled only moments ago. She was a ghost of her former self.

The beaten slave who was so badly mangled internally she would never have children.

My words seemed to sink in, and Suzette slowly nodded. Gradually her shoulders relaxed, and she placed the ingredients on the counter. “Sorry. Momentary lapse, that’s all.”

“Are you okay?” Tess whispered.

My eyes shot to her. Her body had mirrored Suzette’s—tense, hunched, protective from whatever enemy they feared.

Tess hadn’t told me what happened in Mexico, but if she ever did, I wouldn’t be responsible for the string of corpses that would be left behind.

We’d made a vow to hunt the cocksuckers down, and I planned to start that journey today. We’d already waited too long.

Suzette shook herself, shedding the last remaining fear. “Of course. Ignore me. Pretend you never saw that.” She waved her hand, laughing. It sounded genuine, if not for the brittle edge.

“I’m going to get started on my to-do list. I’ll see you when you come back tonight.”

Without another word, she bolted from the kitchen and disappeared.

The second she left, the unfinished lust between Tess and I erupted into spine-tingling awareness. Tess took a breath, her coffee forgotten.

“You’re the reason she’s better. You’re the reason she can laugh and enjoy life again.” The awe in her voice touched me deeply.

I’d never been proud of the man I was, but Tess’s approval meant everything.

“It wasn’t just me. She cured herself by finding another interest. Her healing hasn’t been easy.”

Tess shook her head, eyes glistening with reverence. “She wouldn’t be alive if it wasn’t for you.” Her voice dropped to a husky rasp; my cock instantly reacted.

She hopped off the stool, moving toward me like a perfect doll: blonde halo, porcelain skin, and thick lashes guarding the most stunning pair of eyes I’d ever seen.

The look she gave undid me.

She accepted me. She wanted me. She made me feel worthy.

I was struck dumb. I lost sensation of the warmth of my coffee cup. I forgot how to blink and breathe.

All I could do was stare at the woman who was successfully breaking me into smithereens just by being alive.

~What the fuck is happening to me?~

The need between us crescendoed, arching like static electricity.

Tess’s lips parted, and I couldn’t look anywhere else. We took a step in perfect unison, compelled to be closer, unable to live with any distance between us.

I licked my lips, almost in physical pain with the need to kiss her. To whip her. Fuck her. Flay her. ~Possess~ her.

My chest pumped as I reached to capture the back of her neck. Her hair coiled upward, freeing her snowy skin. The urge to yank her into my embrace vibrated my muscles.

Images of ravaging her in the pantry flashed across my thoughts. We’d never make it to the bedroom. I needed her. That. Fucking. Second.

Tess was immobile, breathing shallowly, the little buttons on her shirt strained against her breasts.

“I meant every word,” I whispered, ducking my head to nuzzle her throat, drowning myself in frost and scent that was uniquely Tess.

“Umm…” she moaned, reaching for my lapels, dragging me closer. I lost my footing, crashing into her, forcing her to back up and collide with the kitchen bench.

“You’re my gravity. ~Je suis à toi,~” I murmured. I’m yours.

How could I fuck this woman, sleep beside her, and care for her when I didn’t even ~know~ her? My heart knew hers, my body belonged to hers, but I didn’t own her mind.

And I wanted to. ~Needed~ to.

Grabbing her hips, I positioned her square with my cock. Her taut belly quivered as I pressed hard against her, pinning her against the counter. “I need to know you, Tess.

“I need to own every last thing about you.”

Possessiveness snarled deep in my belly, and muscles locked with anger. I wanted to own her past, her present, her future. I wanted to be her first and last and fucking forever.

I wanted to wipe everything from her life where I wasn’t the center point of her evolution.

Fuck.

My lips crashed down on hers, and we moaned loudly. Her hands disappeared around my waist, frantically trying to pull my shirt from the waistband.

Her tongue entered my mouth with no apology, stealing every rational thought. She demanded anger. She demanded feral and brutal, but for once—for the first time ever—I wanted to kiss her sweetly.

I couldn’t stop the low chuckle escaping me.

She broke the kiss, an eyebrow quirked.

I shook my head, still lightheaded from the taste of coffee and Tess in my mouth.

“Nothing,” I muttered.

“You can’t laugh mid-kiss and refuse to tell me, Q.” One of her hands came around the front of my trousers, dropping to cup my cock.

I flinched, bowing closer as she tugged me hard. “I want to know.”

The beast inside roared, and I fought the urge to slap Tess’s hand away. She was getting too bold around me.

She wasn’t frightened enough to satisfy the sickness inside, but at the same time, her touch turned me on beyond belief.

Gone was the compulsion to be sweet. Sweet, tender… I spoke three languages, but I failed to understand those words. Whatever lurked inside would never learn them.

It was a moment of insanity to think otherwise. But I wanted to keep Tess in one piece and to do that, I had to tame myself. No matter how much the leash would hurt.

Rocking back, I broke Tess’s hold on me and picked up my coffee. I gulped it back, welcoming the scald on my tongue—the pain helped ground me.

It wiped away frivolous emotional thoughts and made me regroup.

Work.

I had to focus on work. Not this woman who turned my thoughts and body against me. Avoiding Tess’s gaze, I placed the empty coffee cup in the sink. “We have to go.

“We’re late as it is, and God knows what’s happened with my company these last four days.”

I buttoned up my blazer buttons and smoothed the silk teal tie.

Risking a look at Tess, my throat closed taking in her glare. Her face was flushed, feverish; her eyes bright, shooting blue-grey lightning bolts right into my cock.

“I’m in agony, Q. I need some relief.

“You can’t expect me to spend the day by your side and not go out of my mind.” She came closer, but I captured her hands, keeping them from destroying my self-control.

“Please, ~please~, fuck me.”

Goddammit, how could I refuse that? How could I refuse my own body?

Red haze tinted my vision and the beast snarled deep within.

Fuck everything.

I’d give her what she wanted. What ~I~ wanted. What we needed.

“Sir, your flight is ready to take off.” My chin whipped up to find Franco, head of my security and annoying son of a bitch, in the middle of the lounge.

He bowed his head, brushing a hand over his amused grin. His green eyes never looked away though, knowing exactly what we were up to.

~Merde. I’ll have to fire all my staff if I want to have Tess naked again~. All of them were determined to keep me from her.

“Fine. We’re coming,” I growled.

Franco covered his chuckle as he turned and left. Bastard.

Turning to Tess, I asked, “Are you ready to go?” My voice was gruff, cold. But only because I had so much frustration inside. All I wanted to do was slide deep inside her.

I wanted to hang her from the ceiling in the harness and lick her pussy until she cried.

Tess narrowed her eyes, her hands curled into small fists. Small tremors of need skittered over her skin and her entire demeanor flared with annoyance. “As ready as I’ll ever be.”

My eyes shot to hers, trying to read her second meaning. I had no doubt there ~was~ a second meaning.

Her face said nothing, but her body spoke volumes.

And it said fuck me.