Chapter 20 - Vol. 1: Haru To Aiden - 20

Haru

“Thanks, Jess, for letting me spend the night.”

Standing there before me with a mug of coffee in her hands, Jess said, “No worries. I see you’re ready to face the day, eh?”

“Yeah, I can’t go on like this. It’s just not healthy.”

Jess eyed me curiously. “You mean your feelings for Aiden? Or something else?”

“I mean my feelings for Aiden. I’ve been thinking last night. This one-sided love has gone on for far too long, and it has to stop. I’m going to confess my feelings to Aiden.”

She nodded. “Indeed, it has. What are you going to do if he rejects you?”

I didn’t miss the tremor in her voice, and I knew she was worried about me.

I gave her a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry. I’ve got everything planned. If he does reject me, which is probably a ninety percent probability, I’ll move out. I was planning on doing that since the beginning of this year, anyway.”

“I see. But I don’t think Aiden will let you move out.”

I raised my gaze to look at her. “He’ll have to. We can’t live together like everything is normal, after what’s about to happen.”

“There’s still that other ten percent probability that he’ll accept you, right?”

“I guess so.”

Though, I doubt it.

I got up from my seat. “Anyway, I should get going. I need to get a few things from home before class this afternoon.”

After retrieving my backpack, Jess walked me to the door. She said, “Tell me how it goes, okay?”

I nodded and then gave her a hug. “See you later.”

“Good luck, Haru.”

I chuckled. “Thanks.”

An hour later, I arrived home. As expected, the place was quiet since everyone had left for the day. But damn, I needed a shower. Wearing the same underwear for more than a day just didn’t feel pleasant.

After leaving my backpack on the bed, I grabbed a towel and headed into the bathroom. I took my time showering, all the while thinking about Aiden and rehearsing in my mind what I was going to say to him when I confessed.

When I turned the shower off about ten minutes later, my skin was flushed hot. After wrapping the towel around my waist, I headed out the door. I was just about to go into my bedroom when a voice said, “Hey. Can we talk?”

I raised my gaze to see, in shocked surprise, the person I least expected standing there in the hallway, watching me.

How come Aiden is at home? And why isn’t he wearing his work suit? Why isn’t he at work?

I suddenly felt like I couldn’t breathe as heat rushed to my face, and my mind was dazed at the mere sight of him, especially in those fitted jeans and casual T-shirt that made him look damn sexy.

Flicking my gaze away, I rushed into the room closest to me and shut the door. Fuck, but I just wasn’t ready to face him yet. I had planned on confessing to him tonight…but not now. Now was way too early, especially for me and my heart to handle. I wasn’t yet prepared, mentally and emotionally.

“Haru?” Aiden’s voice came through from the other side of the door. “We need to talk.”

Talk? I can’t. Not yet. I’m not ready.

But of course, the words got stuck in my throat as my heart raced. Then I realized I had shut myself in Reo’s room. Shit!

I licked my lips and asked, my voice shaking, “You…you want to talk to me?”

“Yeah. Do you have a few minutes?”

I took a big breath then, working on calming myself down. So, he only wanted a few minutes of my time to talk, which meant he probably wanted to apologize for what had happened the other night.

Okay. I needed to calm down. I needed to think clearly. I’d just listen to what he had to say and then go to class after. Then tonight, I’d get him alone and confess.

Clearing my throat, I said, “Okay. But let me get ready first.”

“Then I’ll be in the dining room.”

I waited until I was sure he was gone before I opened the door. Then I rushed into my own bedroom and found myself clothes. My hands were shaking like crazy as I pulled on my underwear, followed by a pair of jeans and then a T-shirt.

Hair still wet from the shower, I headed into the kitchen-dining-sitting room. I found Aiden sitting at the head of the table, his usual spot during dinner.

He gave me a slight smile. I tried to return one but found I just couldn’t.

“Hey,” I said and then took a seat farthest from him.

Aiden noticed and said, “Come closer.” He pulled out a chair to his left, the one closest to him.

I reluctantly moved and took the indicated seat. The moment I was comfortable, Aiden reached out and tousled my wet hair and then moved to touch the side of my face.

I closed my eyes, basking in the warm gesture. And Aiden’s smell, which was pleasant, lingered around me. I swallowed hard, aching to get closer, wanting so badly to touch him.

“Haru, I want to tell you something…something I’ve been hiding from you for a while now.”

I blinked, confused. He wasn’t going to apologize about the other night?

“What about the other night?” I raised my gaze to look at him. “You’re not…?”

He frowned. “The other night? I’m not…what?”

Seeing the confused look in his eyes, it dawned on me that what he wanted to talk about wasn’t our intimate session. I shook my head and said, “No. It’s nothing.”

Then what the hell did he want to talk to me about?

“Haru, I’m in love with you,” he said bluntly.

My head was numb and in a daze as those words came.

Ugh? What? Come again?

I blinked; tears started brewing in my eyes as my emotions ran wild.

Aiden must have understood my look of confusion because he said again, “I love you, Haru. I have been in love with you for two years now… Maybe more. I’m sorry. It must be disgusting, right? I’m your stepbrother, and yet I have these sorts of feelings for you.”

Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck! My heart was about to pop out of my chest any moment now.

“Say it again,” I said. Begged, in fact. “Say it again.”

“What?” Aiden asked.

“Say it again… That you…love me.”

He looked at me for a moment, and then as if he understood, he leaned forward and kissed me gently on the lips. When he moved back, he said softly, “I love you, Haru. I want you as mine. Will you be mine?”

Suddenly, it was all too much, and I burst out crying like a kid, with tears flowing down my cheeks. Fuck!

“I love you, Aiden,” I sobbed. “I love you so much it hurts. You have no fucking idea how much I’ve endured. I thought you were going to kick me out and never want to see me again because I’m gay and am in love with you. I thought you’d find me disgusting…”

“Holy shit!” Aiden said, his voice shaky. “Just… Holy shit!” He hugged me tight as I buried my face against his chest.

When I managed to calm down, he asked, “When? When did it start?”

I wiped my eyes. “I don’t know. Puberty, I guess. Fourteen. Fifteen. Who cares? It’s been a long time, and I was about to give up and—”

Aiden shut me up by kissing me on the lips, full-out. He even plunged his tongue into my mouth and demandingly kissed me like he was starving for me or something. When he finally terminated the kiss and moved back, he said, “Don’t. Just don’t say it. I never want to hear you say you’re giving up on me.”

Oh, fuck! I couldn’t believe it. I just couldn’t. Aiden had just confessed to me that he loved me. Shit! Was this even real?

“Can I hear it?” Aiden said.

“Hear what?”

“That you love me.”

I licked my lips and then said, “I love you, Aiden. I want you. Every night I imagine you and me together, making out like we made out the other night.”

Aiden sucked in a shaky breath. “Fuck!” He raked his fingers through his blond hair. “Was that why…”

I nodded. Not one bit ashamed of my behavior. I said, “When you kissed and touched me, I was over the moon. Whenever I see you with some girl, my heart hurts, and I just want to burst out crying, because I get so jealous.”

Aiden tightened his arms around me and then kissed my forehead. “I’m sorry, Haru. It must have been painful.”

I nodded.

“But it’s different now. Let’s start anew. I want you as mine. I want you in a serious relationship with me.”

“But you’re not gay, right?” I asked. I wanted to be clear, after all.

Aiden smiled. “I was pretty sure I wasn’t. But maybe I’m bi. Then again, I don’t find myself attracted to girls these days. So, maybe I am gay. Then again, I don’t find myself attracted to other men, either. Just you. You’re all I ever think about. You’re special to me, Haru.”

My heart quivered warmly at hearing that. I was special to Aiden, and shit, I was fucking elated about that.

“But what about our bros? They’ll think we’re weird, right?” I asked, uncertain.

“They know,” Aiden said, which took me by surprise.

“They know?” I asked, astounded.

He nodded, chuckling. “That I’m in love with you. We chatted last night, and they encouraged me to talk to you about my feelings.”

“I see,” I said. I couldn’t believe that Aiden would talk to our other brothers about this sort of thing. And damn, but I had missed out on something good. “Wow.”

We both lapsed into silence. I guess we both simply couldn’t believe this, just couldn’t comprehend that this was actually happening, confessing our feelings to each other.

I finally said, “How come you’re not at work today?”

“I took the day off.”

“Because you wanted to talk to me?”

He nodded.

“What if I hadn’t come home? You would have wasted a day waiting for me.”

He chuckled as he stroked my cheek with the backs of his fingers. “I had Jess text me.”

Oh. So that was how it was. He had Jess keeping an eye on me. How cunning, as expected of Aiden.

Suddenly, he stood and nudged me to as well. “Where are we going?”

He gave me a gentle smile, his eyes twinkling, which took my breath away. He said, “To my bedroom.”

I felt flustered instantly. Though I knew what his intention was, I still asked, “Why to your bedroom?”

He pulled me into his arms and then kissed me gently on the forehead. “Because we’ve both been enduring this forbidden love for far too long, and we need to make up for lost time. If I had told you my feelings for you two years ago, we wouldn’t have had to suffer this much.”

I said, “It would have been illegal, anyway. I was only sixteen.”

He chuckled. “True, but at least we wouldn’t have had to suffer emotionally. I wouldn’t have been able to touch you, but at least we would have known where we stood where our feelings are concerned.”

True enough, and I nodded. Then, because I couldn’t help myself, I wrapped my arms around his muscular neck and stood on tiptoe to kiss him on the lips. When I moved back, I said, “I love you, Aiden.”

He smiled, his eyes expressing an assortment of emotions I hadn’t seen on him before: love, joy, contentment, and satisfaction all rolled into one. He was breathtakingly beautiful to look at. He was a man who had finally gained what he desperately desired most, which was me.

I was precious to Aiden, and I felt so overwhelmingly happy about that that my heart was about to burst with the joy of it all.

“Me, too,” he said.. “I love you, too, Haru.”