I Hope You Know I Would

Scene 1: Bedell Wellness and Rehabilitation Center

Danny Cole

I used to cry every time I had to get a needle or have my finger pricked. My dad would hold my hand and tell me to look away but just knowing it was about to happen freaked me out too.

Kinda funny now that I took a bullet to the shoulder and am using that same arm for tubes to push fluids through my veins.

You have to be monitored and hydrated and sometimes counter-medicated just so you don't start like— seizing or something after getting off of stuff. It's a fucked up joke that your body will kill itself because you decided not to finish the job.

Jesus Christ, who let her in?

"What are you doing here?"

"Hi," she smiled and held out a gift bag toward me. "I'm sorry."

"What the hell?" I pushed her hand down. "Who taught you to do this?"

"Do what?"

"Buy shit for someone every time you piss them off." She shrugged, coyly. "Stop that. You'll never know who actually likes you."

"Well, you can keep it." She puts the bag on my lap. "I already know you don't like me."

"Thanks." I rolled my eyes and dropped it into the wastebasket beside my chair.

Her jaw dropped. "Under Audrey, you're the meanest person I know."

"Like you're so nice."

"I am."

"Didn't you tell Elle she smells poor?"

"I didn't, Audrey did."

"Audrey," I snickered and shook my head.

"I wouldn't say that to someone."

"Right, you'd just agree and keep it moving."

"No, I'm sure she didn't smell of any wealth bracket."

"I don't believe you."

She paused just to look at me a moment. "Do you like her?"

"I don't care enough to."

Heather nodded as if there was a right or wrong answer and I got it correct. It's okay if I don't like her as long as I don't like Elle either.

"You were wrong when you thought I was judging you. You're not the first person I've met who needed to be here."

"There's a difference."

"Yes, you asked for help."

I scoffed. "I'm supposed to feel good about not having to be cuffed to a hospital bed after too much powder up the nose? No wonder you're running away from these people."

"I'm not running away. I'm moving for me, not to get away from anyone."

"And your friends are cool with it?"

She shrugged. "I think so."

"Of course, they just weeded off prom queen competition." I sighed. "Are you going to hire someone to stalk me and tell you if I still show up when you're gone?"

"Why would I? I'm not the reason you continue your treatment."

"Then why do you keep coming?"

"Because you won't tell anyone else, and you shouldn't be alone."

"I don't need anyone."

"Sure," she rolled her eyes. "But you know how hurt people would be if this didn't work and something awful happened to you."

"People like?"

"Isabel."

"Isabel's son."

"You're her son."

"Yeah but that's not why you're trying to stop something from happening to me."

"I don't like the idea of anyone I know dying, okay? Whether we're friends or not," she insisted.

"You can't admit it, huh?"

"Admit what?"

"You got a soft spot for the guy, and you don't want to see him having a hard time."

"I don't have-"

"Yeah, you do. It's okay, he's got one for you too."

Scene 2: Central Park

Alison Sinclair

"Johnson Dealy brought Rebecca flowers to ask her to the Autumn Ball," Brooke announced.

My eyes widened. "Johnson 'A girl doesn't get anything from me until I get something from her' Dealy?"

"I've heard that dates have been going pretty well since our act of guerrilla warfare. I don't know if they're scared or trying to guess which girl they pushed over the edge...but it worked."

"If Betty Friedan could see us now," Evelyn said, proudly.

"I'm not sure she'd be on our side," Brooke added.

"She would if she saw the results." I moved in closer and spoke quieter. "I was talking to Heather, and I have an idea about what we can do next."

"To which boys?"

"All of them," I replied, completely serious, but we glanced around at each other in silence and somehow ended up in a fit of laughter.

"Oh, I almost forgot." Evie reached into her purse before handing us a decorative card inviting us to her birthday celebration.

"Thank you," I said, stunned.

"It'll be super exclusive and start with a little luncheon first which you're welcome to come to."

We're real friends...

Of all I expected to come out of this, I never pictured myself buying a birthday present for Evelyn or being on a three-way call late at night with her and Brooke.

Brooke smiled. "I will be there."

"So will I. I'd be happy to go."

"You are going to love the gift bags. Not to give too much away, but Yves Se-"

"Alison."

Brooke and Evelyn turn their heads first...but I knew who it was without having to look.

"What?"

"Can we talk?" Tony asked.

"...why?"

"I need to say something to you. In private."

I sighed and stood up grudgingly. "Fine."

He ignored my demeanor and went out far enough for our conversation to be unheard.

"Since when are you with them?" He said, eyeing Brooke and Evie in the distance.

"What do you want?"

"I'm sorry for hurting your feelings. I never meant to, I wouldn't do that to a friend," Tony spoke with sincerity. "But I can see now that we clearly weren't friends."

"What?"

"For you to say those things about me means that's what you've always thought."

I crossed my arms. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"If I wanted to tell everyone it was you, I would've done it already. So the least you can do is tell me the truth."

I contemplated it...we've both been in enough trouble, and if he says anything it'll get back to his parents that he's associated with the likes of me. Precious Tony dares to even speak to anyone other than a prayer group or Saint Sabrina.

My jaw clenched in indignation. "I haven't always believed what I wrote...but I do now." And you never could stand up for yourself.

"Thank you." Tony nodded, beginning to back away from me. "I didn't think you deserved everything that happened to you, all of what those guys did or how they treated you, but whatever happens now— you deserve it."

Scene 3: Madison Street

Leo Rylin

A car races past with its muffler roaring too loud for us to hear each other speak. It made me jump a little, the exhaust firing off like that—but the sound died down as the car quickly slowed at a red light.

AJ stood up and shouted: "You did all that speeding just to hit the brakes, you moron!"

"You sound like an old man," Matt chuckled.

"That asshole doesn't live around here."

"Nah, not with that car," I added.

He sat back down on the steps with an aggravated huff. "Are you going to Sixx this Friday?"

"Why?"

"Fuel's playing."

"Shit I forgot," I sighed. "I told Elle we'd hang."

He shrugged. "Hang after."

"She's gonna have an attitude."

"Who cares? She knows you like live music. I'm surprised she's not going."

"She doesn't like Fuel," Matt interjected before I could.

I guess they talk a lot about music now that they both work there.

"Sup," Zach said, coming through the door and immediately sitting on the highest stair.

"Zach— what the fuck?" Matt put his arms out.

"What I do?"

"You think I wouldn't hear what you did in school?"

"Oh my god," Zach groaned and put his face in his hands.

"What happened?" I asked.

"He got caught in the stall with some girl, pants around his ankles— they were so loud you could hear them from the hall."

"What?" Zach shook his head. "Where are these details coming from?"

"Man, what the fuck, Zach?" I laughed. "What is with you and girls?"

"It's not true."

"You weren't in the bathroom with a girl?" Matt said, skeptically.

"I was, but-"

A drawn-out "Ooh," rings simultaneously from each of us making Zach huff in frustration.

The door opened again, and Peyton walked out—bracelets, beads, and key chains clinking as she came down.

"Moving back in?" AJ asked, his usual blazed eyes growing a little wider when staring at her.

"You gonna keep asking me that every time you see me?" She said, not giving him the satisfaction of her full attention. She looked at me, though. "Hey, Leo."

"Hey," I nodded, watching her walk off toward the nearest subway station.

"She likes you more and more the closer you get to 18," AJ smirked

"Shut up."

"Break up with Elle before your birthday so you can tell me what Peyton is like."

Zach pushed AJ, and AJ pushed him back so I pushed AJ

"What do you think about Peyton now?" Matt asked.

"She's cool."

"You haven't thought of..." he didn't elaborate, and we both seemed to glance over at Zach a little as a reminder that it's his sister we're talking about.

"I did for a second after me and Heather split. If she hadn't moved, I probably would've tried something since I was all messed up."

"Yeah, you were a sad sack of shit," AJ threw his head back laughing. "Never seen someone need pussy as bad as you did."

My eyes flashed. "You're lucky I didn't call Cherry."

"She wouldn't have answered," he replied, his confidence wavering when I raised an eyebrow. "Fuck you."

"Do girls do that?" Zach asked.

"Do what?"

"Try to get with someone else right after a break-up so they don't have to admit that they're sad."

"Girls love rebounding," AJ answered.

"I don't mean rebounds. Just hooking up with whoever they can."

Matt nodded. "I've seen it."

"I think they wait longer, though. Girls are better at dealing with it...I fucking hate being sad. I start to lose my mind."

"Me too."

"How do you get over someone?" Matt asked, kinda out of nowhere.

He looked at the three of us. AJ who's not over Cherry, Zach who could never get over Evan...

I shook my head. "You don't."

Scene 4: The Helmsley Hotel

Heather Blakely

"Adrian, how are you?" My father greeted him with a hug after we came through the door.

"Very well, sir. This is for you." He handed him a golden box of chocolates. Adrian won't come over empty-handed. He once brought me a tomato plant from his mother's garden because I called him so late notice.

"Hello, darling," my mother said, kissing my cheek

"Are the movers here?" I ask at the sight of boxes.

"No, we're sending over precious items to get them out of the way," my father replied.

"And lessen the risk of them being stolen from us," she included.

"Your mother is worried."

"If you have any more junk, we're having this thrown out right away," she pointed to a box of miscellaneous things.

"What is all of this?" None of it seems like trash.

"Mostly your mother's old diaries."

"She doesn't want them anymore?"

"She said they're embarrassing, irrelevant memories."

"...Understandable."

"Now who is this? Adrian shows me a picture from the debutante ball. "Another illustrious ex?"

"That is Preston. We didn't date."

"But you make such a lovely couple."

"I was with Leo when we met."

I grab a partially empty box so I can fill it with my own choice of precious items.

"Let me." Adrian takes it from my hands.

"You know they already like you, right?" I teased him. "No need to impress them further."

"All in a day's work."

I lead him to my room, guiding in assurance that he doesn't miss a step. He comes in behind me and leaves the box in front of my dresser where anything fragile is displayed.

Most of it is jewelry that I'll need while we still live here, but I open a Tiffany's box that I previously removed the necklace from. It's now full of photos and ticket stubs from events...And at the bottom are the pictures I took of Leo on my birthday.

Wow...he's so...

Do I give them to him?

We haven't exchanged photos at all...perhaps they're our memories to keep. I can't imagine he forgot I took them.

"What do you have?" Adrian asked.

"What do you have?" I responded, seeing a flowery journal in his hands.

"A diary." He passes it to me. "I guess this one has value."

The first page is simply the letters W.B. written in cursive with hearts around it.

"I see why, it mentions my father."

"They were high school sweethearts?"

"Yes, but they broke up before college because it made more sense than being together so far apart." Adrian frowned as if they are not married now. "They kept in touch and rekindled after graduating. Apparently, neither of them could fall in love with somebody else."

"Soul mates."

"If you believe in that."

"I do."

I read aloud: "I met a boy. His name is Will and since he's all I've been able to think about all day...it must be because I like him."

"Aw."

"Will is very confusing. I can't tell how he feels about me. We talk whenever we're near each other, and he makes sure to be near. He likes to point out how much he makes me smile, but what does that mean in terms of us? If there's an us. If there will ever be an us." I turn to Adrian at my side. "This is so...human."

Adrian chuckled. "Does that surprise you?"

"How could it not?" I gasp as I turn the page. "Oh, no, Adrian!"

"He's dating someone?" He reads the first line.

"I heard him telling one of his friends today. She's older and she's stunning, and I should have known this would happen. I'm never speaking to him again."

I wonder who she was...my mother pushed the pen down a little harder when she wrote 'stunning.'

"Heather?" Adrian looked at me, confused on why I stopped here.

"There's someone else, his name is Theodore. I haven't completely forgotten about Will, but I am trying to. Theodore is handsome and kind, and most importantly, he isn't Will. What a tragedy that it's also his biggest flaw. Will walked by when he was holding my hand. I pretended I didn't notice him looking at us. He has the nerve to belong to someone else, so he shouldn't bat an eye if I do too...oh, I wish I knew if he cared."

"I think he cared."

"Who knows? Since he has someone else to care about." I rolled my eyes and flipped to the next diary entry. "I saw them together. I feel horrible and it ruined my entire day. But I didn't cry, I am so proud of myself. I didn't cry." It is too easy to understand how this would feel...I close the diary. "That's enough. This is depressing."

"No. I have a feeling it gets better."

"Oh, do you?" I asked, sarcastically.

"Just a hunch," Adrian winked. He opened the journal again and skimmed through each dated page to find one that wasn't sad. "Here we go," he said. "We passed each other today and he was so happy to see me. He asked me for a hug and now I'll always think about hugging him. We spent the day together, other people were there but he spoke to me the most. He asked for my number too, but it sounded friendly rather than romantic. Will Blakely said he'd call me. He wants to. He'd like to. He likes me."

I point to the entry on the other side. "He never called...I waited all night. I shouldn't have convinced myself that he felt anything for me. Now I have to trick my mind into believing I don't want him anymore and be glad that he'll never know I spent the past two nights crying over him."

He turned the book away from me and flipped a couple more pages. "Will called! He said he would've called sooner if he could, but he wanted to be sure he could talk to me for as long as possible. My heart is so full it's as if those horrible days never happened. We talked for hours, and I know I'll see him tomorrow so my mind won't let me sleep tonight."

God, she was obsessed with him. My dad said that he fell in love first...if only he knew how much sleep she lost thinking about him.

And her ears must have been burning because she pushes into my room looking as shocked as ever. "What do you think you're doing with that?"

"...Late night reading. It was in the keep-box."

"I know where it was. What if I read yours?"

I shrugged. "I don't have one."

"Then what was all that writing you did in Italy?"

"Those were letters."

"So get a diary and read your own."

"What, are you afraid I'll tell dad you have a crush on him?"

She had an unamused expression on her face. "I am not who I was when I wrote those."

"Why'd you stop writing?" The diary is blank halfway through.

"After we became a couple, I didn't feel the need to write anymore. I had nothing to hide from anyone."

"You hadn't told your friends before then?"

"That I was in love with a man who, as far as I knew, was preoccupied and not concerned about me? No, Heather, how mortifying."

"No wonder it took so long," I said under my breath.

I skipped to the last page that had writing on it as if I don't know where they ultimately ended up.

"William came over and told me that he couldn't be around me anymore because he thinks he's in love with me and knows I don't love him back. What a beautifully insane thing to say. I told him that he had no idea how wrong he was. I love him so madly I could die."

She cringed at herself. Publicly having feelings is worse than fleece to her. "Goodnight. I am off to bed." My mother waved, shutting the door before we could say it back.

"Camille could've put Shakespeare out of business," Adrian joked.

"She would never intentionally allow anyone other than my dad to hear these things."

"Which is nice, when you think about it..." He said, his eyes locked on me. "No one would have suspected you got your romanticism from her."

"What romanticism?"

Adrian smirked, leaning in close while he had my focus. "This one," he whispered on my lips and then pressed firmly against them.

This is more than his usual kiss goodbye. A bed adds so much to a kiss...

Innocence is lost so fast, leaving you in the thralls of desperation, my lip between his teeth and heavy breaths in every break.

His hand crawled up my neck until he had my face in his grasp, gently caressing while he licked sensuously over my lips, prompting me to let him in. I hold onto his shirt...I even pull him closer, and he moves forward so that my body is under his and I can feel all of him on top of me.

Adrian is confident in the way he touches me, he knows he's good at it...grazing up my thigh and slowly lifting the end of my dress...the bare warmth of his fingers on my skin...his fingers slipping under my clothes...and how close they are to coming off.

Adrian is beautiful and sweet

But, I was in love with the last person who touched me like this, and I can't seem to forget that...

"Adrian..." I said, quietly while pushing him back.

"Yes?"

"I can't..."

He nodded, concern and lipstick on his face. "Okay."

"I'm sorry. I-"

"You don't have to explain."

"I know, but I want to. 'It's not you, it's me' means nothing without an explanation." I let out a deep breath. "I'm not ready to be with anyone...that closely yet. I don't know why...but I can't. It feels...too different."

"I understand. Don't apologize for it."

"When I am ready...I think it will be with you."

Adrian smiled and lifted my chin with his finger. "How romantic."