Part 26 : To all those unfinished goodbyes

Why would you

Ever think I'm hurting

Because you've never

Looked at me

The way I've looked

At you

I know I don't

Mean anything

Or to be exact

Meant anything ever

In anybody's life

Just cause I

Carry it all

so effortlessly

Doesn't mean that

It doesn't break me

Apart

There are bruises

All over me

But they're just battle scars

Because I cared to fight

But for what

May I ask ?

Just to have myself

Fighting insecurities

That has been created

Over the years

That too from the ones

I've loved the most

At the end of the day

I know when you love someone

And keep them close to your heart

You give them the power

To hurt you as much as

They want

How would you

Ever know

How it feels to be

Sidelined

To feel like

I was never

good enough

To always look

In the mirror and

Ask myself

Where do I lack ?

Cause you might tell

' You mean a lot'

I've heard these

Verses over and over

But then I'm just

That friend

Who you'd replace

When your done with

What you need

But I'd still provide

And for what it may be

To feel that I'm not

As utterly useless

As I feel

But I'm very good

At this game

I could go on and say

I'm always okay

And walk around

Like nothing matters

Show everyone

That I'm self sufficient

And that I've never needed

Anyone's help

Nor presence in my life

But at the

End of the day

Don't I deserve

To feel as if

I'm worthy of love ?

To be needed as much

As I needed your presence

To ask some time off

Your precious day

Feel like too much to ask for

Cause at a point

I'm so sure

I was there for you

You probably don't

think that way

As you've never even

acknowledge my presence

Cause I was non existent

In your eyes

But then I've always

Learnt to let go

The more you hold on to

Someone trying to fly away

From you

The more you end up

Hurting yourself

I'd rather pick myself and leave

If you don't want me

Than stand here on my knees

Begging for you

and killing myself

Just so you could stay

I never meant

Anything I know

That's why you'd

Choose to leave me

I still remember

When I had the

Last hug and how

Cold it was

I hugged you so tight

Cause for me

You were the dearest

But I was nothing

Yes nothing

To you