Chapter 40 - what?

COVYN

My laughter dies down as I look at her and I try to keep my expression light and not display my panic. “You what?” I try to say the words easily like I didn’t hear her in case she wants to change her mind.

“I think you’re a pretty solid guy,” she continues instead, “not the rich piss-ant I initially thought you to be.” Her eyes look away from me, to a bottle. She brings it quickly to her lips and then puts it back. “When you took her from work, I thought you were going to be the most entitled sack of shit I ever met, and to be very clear you absolutely have a silver spoon shoved somewhere dark, but you are also committed to you job and not afraid of hard work and training. The people you care about get everything they give in return, and I’ve noticed there are some rather endearing traits to you.”

I hesitate, wondering why what she says seems wrong but then I remember. “When I took her from the club? But you shouldn’t remember that.”

She blushes further and shrugs. “I’m not restricted to all the same rules as everyone else.”

“So you remember…” I felt like I would be sick at the thought.

She wasn’t a fan of me then, in no uncertain terms she had told me how she felt, just like she was open with me now.

She nodded. “I do.”

“But you never said… you didn’t tell Nova? And so you already knew Spencer was her…”

Again she nodded. “Like you, I can’t interfere too much. I was so focused on looking out for that beta’s son I wasn’t expecting other threats, but everything in balance I suppose. To get a better outcome there’s going to be more shit to deal with.” She looked up at me with her lashes lookingeven heavier on her drunk eyes after yet another sip. “Your selflessness, especially when it comes to Nova… you have to know how important that is and how much it means to meto me.”

“So you know me and her…”

I couldn’t fathom what she was saying. It was already surprising hearing of her feelings, but her also telling me that she remembered that I had been with Nova made that make even less sense. She was picking her nails indignantly, her previous embarrassment gone until she felt my eyes on her, looked up, and smirked.

“I’m not a child, and I am very aware of everything that happened, but I can’t help it. If I see someone being absolutely genuine with me and my family, I start to trust them. With you.. I don’t know. I see the honourableness and I want to protect that way of life. I can appreciate that.”

And her smile /is genuine appreciation in the least, but there’s a glitter there that hints at more. I look into it curiously, wondering if she is saying what I think she is.

“So you… like me?” I ask gently, still running through what my answer would be if she said yes.

She winced, but she smirked as she did it. “You know, this is doubly as awkward as I thought it would be, which was borderline instant death level already,… so if you don’t mind just opening the door I’m going to go torment Nova with my drunk antics.”

She unwrapped the towel from her body and held it out like a wall between us, letting go and shifting at the same time into the begal. I was too slow to move and she let out a long sound of annoyance but standing up along the door to pull the handle.

The door was opening, I was running to catch her around the belly and push it closed before she could go. As the door closed I turned one of the locks so she would have to shift and speak to me before she could try leaving again. She threw her body this way and that in my arms, mewling aggressively and running her claws down my arms. After a few seconds she shifted back and started kicking and flailing.

“Covyn!”

“Hey, hey, hey, hey…” I chuckled soothingly. “Don’t put yourself through that, you know Spencer will be doting on her obsessively, hand and foot, all night…” I felt her relaxing in my arms and she stopped throwing her weight around. “She’s taken care of, and I’m sorry. I’m just not sure what to say, I…”

She covered my mouth. “You don’t need to explain anything. I live honestly, and I’d have told you that even if I had already known you didn’t feel the same.”

I licked her hand and she removed it groaning about how disgusting I was, but I just laughed. “Come on, I’ll start the fire and we can have some drinks while you eat.” She seemed hesitant so I continued, “you can sing more of my praises, or tell me how much I fucked up, your choice.”

She smirked that devilish smile she would get with a hint mischief in her eyes. “You have fucked up a lot haven’t you. It was for sure your own bloody fault that your truck became an accordion.”

I frowned slightly and nodded. “I shouldn’t have snapped at her.”

Her smirk didn’t waver. “Nova is more sensitive than she seems. She matches the energy of those around her most of the time, but her confidence is only in herself.She doesn’t trust how other people feel. Ambrose is a big step for her.” She brought her plate to the chair nearest the fire place and sat while I grabbed us drinks. “I said what I said to you about her because I wasn’t ready to tell you I remember, but I was still surprised when her defences slipped. In all our years together not a drink, drug, or illness has ever made her slip.”

“I’m glad she’s happy,” I say honestly.

That is the last we talked about Nova directly, instead Sequoia tells me about herself. Nova basically raised her for the world knowledge she had before they were paired, but someone and their familiar could only pair if their personalities matched. Sequoia was the only one bold and strong enough to be with her, and they became like sisters.

Sequoia was very firm with me, telling me exactly how she felt about everything we discussed, and it wasn’t like she had been shy before but i didn’t think she had been holding back. She was venomous sometimes, taking me down a peg before I even knew I needed it. I don’t think even Ellion was ever as open with me as she was.

After hours of talking and joking by the fire the question of sleeping arrangements came up. I offered her the bed. It would have been my first night back in it, so I was already used to the couch, and I didn’t mind.

“I prefer to sleep in animal form,” she admitted. “If you’re alright with my staying here, I’d rather sleep like that.”

“I can get behind that,” I replied with a smirk and started taking my shirt off.

“No, I didn’t mean…”

Before she could argue I was dropping my pants and shifting. She shrieked and turned away, as my thumbs looped into the top of my pants, so didn’t anticipate me licking up the back of her arm.

“Ew, Covyn that’s disgusting!” She yelled and I whimpered, bringing her face instant remorse. “Okay, I’m sorry. Don’t pout, I hate your puppy dog eyes.”

Her tone made it sound like she absolutely didnothate my puppy dog eyes. She pet my head gently and then I moved onto the bed, hearing it creek under my large weight. Once I laid down J whimpered, and made her aware the spot remaining was for her.

I watched Sequoa hesitate, knowing if she ran to the door I couldn’t stop her. If I shifted back I would be nude, and running after a woman down the hall completely naked was not a look I would ever be going for.

Finally she sighed and I watched her shift in front of me. It was so seamless, so quiet, and then there she was. She prowled cautiously up to the bed and then moved into the spot I’d left.

‘No funny business,’ she said in my head. ’I don’t want to hear anythere was only one bedcrap.’

I tried to laugh but it came out as weird panting and she laughed in my head as a response. The she curled up beside me and her smell filled my nose. It was nothing like gun powder and trees, more like the warm leather from a boxing glove and the forest after it rained. I didn’t know that I would ever like such a combination.

She was asleep first, purring steadily as she dozed, but my mind was occupied with her admission. I hadn’t thought of anyone like that since my time with Nova in another life. It brought me back to my need to reject her and I promised myself that I would do it the next day. She had everything she needed, and I needed to stop living in a time lost to my mistakes, and not live them again.