Chapter 77

And upon seeing this, Lee Jaehun thought.

‘There’s no one here who’s not crazy.’

Well, it’s not like anyone who understands the otherworld without even seeing it would be sane.

If his former colleagues from his previous life knew his thoughts, they’d call him shameless. But, unfortunately, only these rookies were here now. There was no one to criticize his inner thoughts.

Dr. Ha Sungyoon’s sudden outburst was a welcome distraction, but it also made the atmosphere awkward again. While this rift might be helpful given the monsters that would soon arrive, it was still an unexpected conflict.

And honestly, any further decline in the group’s morale would be problematic.

‘The monsters we’ll soon face attack the mind. If our mental fortitude breaks…’

Thinking this far, Lee Jaehun cleared his throat intentionally.

As attention turned to him due to his purposeful action, he began to speak with a feigned embarrassed expression.

“You’re being a bit dramatic about telling us to be careful, aren’t you?”

“……”

“We understand even if you explain it simply. It feels odd to be scolded at my age. Don’t you agree?”

He glanced at the protagonist, who naturally took the baton.

“Then you should avoid giving reasons to be scolded.”

“Deputy Jung, can you please shut your trap? You’re so annoying you give me a headache.”

“When else would I get to say this?”

Though his manner of speaking was annoying, his words made sense. By using himself to lighten the mood, the current situation and even the hidden world’s dangers seemed less severe, including Lee Jaehun’s injuries.

At this point, it seemed Dr. Ha Sungyoon had understood their intentions. He touched his earlobe and spoke.

“…Alright, it’d be great if you could all be more careful.”

He then addressed the others.

“If anyone else feels pain, don’t hide it like he did. In situations like this without proper equipment, interviews with the patient are crucial.”

“Why do you have to make me look bad in front of the other patients?”

“Do better next time.”

“…Are you and Deputy Jung in cahoots?”

Was he always like this?

‘No, he wasn’t like this at first.’

Frowning at the familiar flow of conversation, the doctor chuckled, and the others stifled their laughter. Though he intended this, it genuinely made him uncomfortable.

Of course, Lee Jaehun wasn’t foolish enough to dampen the atmosphere he had managed to lift. He groaned and turned his head away. Despite being annoyed by these troublesome rookies, he knew he needed to end the situation smoothly.

He spoke in a grumpy tone as he stood up.

“If the treatment’s done, I’m going to sleep.”

“Yes, please avoid using your hand. Don’t exert any force on it.”

“Do you think I don’t know that?”

Grumbling once more, he heard Team Leader Kang Mina murmur quietly.

“But… Director.”

“What?”

“You’ve been sleeping more lately.”

“So?”

“…Nothing, sorry.”

As he frowned, she shrank back and fell silent. Lee Jaehun turned away, leaning against a tree, and closed his eyes. It was clear he didn’t want to continue the conversation.

Watching him, Park Dahoon asked.

“Aren’t you cold? Should I give you my coat?”

“No, I’m hot.”

“Oh, okay.”

With those words, the group’s voices quieted down.

‘…I didn’t expect Team Leader Kang to speak up first.’

With his eyes closed, Lee Jaehun lightly pondered.

Team Leader Kang Mina was right. Ever since he was taken by the algae monster, he had slept more frequently and for longer periods. In fact, he had rarely woken up earlier than the others.

But there was a reason for this: firstly, he was tired. Even without the algae monster incident, the number of responsibilities Lee Jaehun held within the team was considerable. Moreover, the current Lee Jaehun was naturally someone who slept a lot, so even if he wasn’t tired, the situation would have been similar.

However, what was obvious to him might not be so to the rest of the group.

‘A lot of incidents have occurred.’

On the first day alone, his shoulder and calf were pierced by a spider monster, and at the flower shop, he suffered burns on his ankle. Right after that, he was dragged by the algae monster all night and then slept like the dead for three days upon his return. It would have been concerning even if they weren’t rookies.

And conversely, this meant that as rookies, they were more likely to react sensitively. After all, they were naive, having never seen anyone die in front of them.

‘It means they are interpreting every reaction with heightened sensitivity.’

Lee Jaehun’s current plan had come about by chance after meeting Detective Hong, but he could justify every action he had taken before then. He could even create truths out of nothing.

Firstly, Lee Jaehun was severely injured both externally and internally by the algae monster. Internal injuries could be inferred from his coughing up blood. Secondly, after waking from what seemed like a coma, he often appeared dazed. This resulted in him accidentally biting on glass and burning his hand on fire. Thirdly, yes.

Thirdly, his sleep had increased.

‘Back then, I always arrived at work early.’

From Lee Jaehun’s perspective, his life had suddenly changed after recalling his past life, but this wasn’t the case for others. He had hidden his changes as if they had always been there.

Therefore, to those who knew the previous ‘Director Lee Jaehun’, he wasn’t that different from before.

The ‘Director Lee Jaehun’ they knew was the first to arrive at the office. Despite sleeping a lot, he would arrive early to have the leverage to scold latecomers, especially those who had irked him the previous day. He would come in even earlier to intimidate them right from the start.

It might seem petty now, but what it shows is that the group believed ‘Director Lee Jaehun’ wasn’t someone who slept a lot.

‘As if any director would sacrifice sleep just to hassle their employees.’

The group members who had worked with him likely thought he slept little.

Such a person, after being consumed by the otherworld, was now waking up late, frequently tired, significantly less irritable, and even appeared dazed at times.

‘Although I devised this plan later….’

Lee Jaehun had a knack for making things fit together.

Even though it might seem trivial, with everyone on edge, it was easy to assign meaning to every action. After all, these were inexperienced rookies.

They would probably think, considering the first and second points, and now the third, that he was sleeping more. Since devising the plan, he had deliberately tried to exhibit these sluggish behaviors. Even without intending to, they would have misunderstood it that way.

What was a bit surprising, though, was that it was Team Leader Kang Mina who brought this up.

‘I didn’t think she’d directly intervene, despite her perceptiveness.’

Team Leader Kang was perceptive but inherently timid. Despite her curiosity, her nature meant she often suppressed her questions.

Even though they were in the otherworld, he thought it would take longer for her to develop. Lifelong habits aren’t easily changed. He expected her to be influenced by the situation but not to change so quickly.

If he considered the root of her development, it was probably….

“Shouldn’t we cover him with something?”

“Right, let’s find something to cover him. And we can fetch some water too.”

“Then I’ll go with you, Yeonseok.”

It was likely because her responsibilities had increased.

Listening to Team Leader Kang’s voice, Lee Jaehun pretended to sleep.

“I can swing a hammer pretty well now… And we don’t have many weapons, so I’ll go with you.”

“It would be reassuring if Team Leader Kang came along! Don’t worry, I’ll carry everything.”

“Um… We’ll gather some firewood. We’re good at that.”

“We’ll stay here and keep watch.”

Maybe it was the three days while Lee Jaehun was asleep that made a difference. Without him, the group found their roles and tasks smoothly. Despite a few precarious moments, they managed well enough.

Hearing this, Lee Jaehun inwardly sighed in relief.

‘…It seems they’ll be fine without me.’

I was worried for nothing.

He had been concerned that perhaps he had drained their mental fortitude too much or that problems would arise due to differences in common sense. Even if the plan wasn’t perfect, things would progress one way or another. He had been anxious about what would happen if he were to be absent.

Of course, this concern had an ulterior motive rather than pure goodwill towards the group. But as always, it didn’t bother him much. He was simply worried that these inexperienced rookies might not adapt to the structural changes and end up left behind.

And in his plans, there was no one among them who should die. Not yet.

“…….”

However, if the time came when he had to kill someone, how would they react?

‘Would they be scared?’

That’s what the current Lee Jaehun thought would be the typical reaction.

But the past Lee Jaehun would think otherwise.

‘They’re too comfortable.’

These rookies needed to understand what it was like to live a life where they couldn’t die.

Just as his personality in his previous life had drawn criticism, he wanted everyone except himself to be unhappy. It was just his nature, for no reason.

In this world, Lee Jaehun had already died once and then regressed immediately after. Before regressing, he hadn’t known if he would truly die or come back to life, leaving him in a state of distress, barely containing his excitement at the unknown possibility.

Death, to him, was a distant concept. He had long since ruined what he thought was his final life by waking up in this wretched world again, so he couldn’t say what kind of emotions or memories true death would evoke in him.

Of course, he acknowledged many people. He accepted that the world was full of variables he couldn’t predict and that there were all sorts of people he couldn’t understand. So, he understood these naive rookies as well.

But he was just a little curious.

“…….”

What does it feel like to experience death, which happens only once in a lifetime?

Why is it so feared?

‘…An eternal loss?’

That seemed the most plausible reason, considering it rationally.

Pain is fleeting, and torment has an end, varying by person. Perhaps the most frightening and terrifying thing is the loss they will experience. The emptiness of never being able to possess something again might be what instills fear.

When parents die, you lose the shared meals. When a sibling dies, you can no longer argue and shout with them. When a child dies, the home loses their bright voice. When I die, the simple pleasures of eating, drinking, and enjoying life disappear.

But, who knows.

‘That only matters to those who have something to lose.’

What if they never had parents?

What if they never had siblings? Or children?

What if they had no family or anyone they considered family, were alone from beginning to end, and had no means to eat, drink, or enjoy anything?

Would death still be sorrowful?

“……”

Still, he couldn’t understand.

‘You’d only know death if you experienced it once.’

Lee Jaehun understood the chicks, but he couldn’t empathize with them.

His empathy wasn’t that strong, and fundamentally, his inherent values were different. His previous life aside, even in this life, Lee Jaehun wasn’t someone who thought in a conventional manner. His foolish present self couldn’t even imagine his own death and didn’t place value on the deaths of others.

However, for him, who remembered his past life, death was a means, a momentary pain, a finite suffering. Not only Lee Jaehun, but many in his previous life shared this mindset. In that world, he wasn’t an outcast, nor a monster, and it would be unfair to label him as a peculiar lunatic.

Maybe that’s why, when Lee Jaehun faced the deaths of Team Leader Kang and Intern Noh Yeonseok before his regression, when he encountered such lifeless, drooping flesh in his past life that was so rare to see.

He only felt envy.

“……”

“…Director, are you sleeping?”

“It can’t be comfortable sleeping like this. We should lay him down.”

“Let’s do that.”

Listening to the chirping of the annoying chicks, Lee Jaehun fell asleep.

That was all there was to it.

* * *

When he opened his eyes, he was back in the dream.

“……”

In his view was a large green mass.

A monster with dull and slow movements, tilting its head, staring at him with nonexistent eyes, and speaking its desires with a distorted face. Recently, Lee Jaehun had learned how to communicate with this creature.

Looking at the algae-covered monster in front of him, he spoke calmly.

“It will be okay.”

“……”

“…We have to try.”

“……”

“So, everything will be okay, because I want it to be.”

He smiled.

“Because that’s what I want.”