Epilogue: Hans

1 Year Later

Conrad woke with a start.  Covered in sweat, wide-eyed and panting like he'd run the Boston marathon. Misha and I stared, waiting for his breathing to level out. A small silence followed as Conrad stared at a painting on the far side of the room. Then he looked to us with a weak smile.

"Sorry. Nightmares."

"Do you want to talk-"

"Nope." Conrad was already down, his head buried underneath the pillows and blankets. Misha sighed. He followed and laid down behind the delta, hugging him from behind and slowly rubbing away the tension in the redhead's shoulders. I sat up for a bit longer, my mind wandering. Misha glanced up at me after a while. Conrad was asleep.

"You ok?"

I shook my head and slumped. "It's my fault."

"No. It's not."

It was. Even as Misha sat up and wrapped me in his arms, even as I lay my head on his shoulder and traced circles on his bare chest, I couldn't help but think about the swirling void of disaster that I seemed to inevitably bring wherever I went. If I closed my eyes, I could see my father's face, red, angry, and with a vicious back-handed slap not far behind. The image sent chills up my spine. Sometimes, I could see my father's face peeking out from our closet, outside the window or around the corner of a long corridor. He wasn't there. But he could be. He'd find me eventually.

It hardly mattered that Dominic was gone for now. The man had connections. I knew what it truly was to be tangled and caught up in the web of the underground, to be in the clutches of powerful alphas, uncaring, cruel and  indifferent. I'd shown up on Conrad's doorstep and brought a glimpse of the pain with me. I'd led him into writhing tentacles waiting beneath the dark abyss.

Misha kissed my forehead. "You're thinking too much. Again."

There was a soft silence as I glanced out the window, my eyes caught in the light of the lonely moon.

"Should I tell Ross? About the hallucinations?"

Misha back-tracked when he felt me tense  in his arms. I must have been shaking, looking ready to cry.

"No, no, please don't." I bit my lip to stop the trembling.

"He'll want to help you," Misha tried again. "You know he cares, Hans. He could get you a therapist. The best therapist. You and Conrad could try counseling-"

"Misha, please. I don't want to be more of a burden than I already-"

"You're not a burden."

We both jumped at the voice, low and gruff, although it was distinctly not Ross. Joe stood in the open doorway of the bedroom, cast in the yellow light trickling from the hall. He looked tired and beaten. Anyone would, dealing with his family. His white dress shirt was wrinkled, his tie undone and the slacks he'd thrown on looked ready to fall off at any moment.

As he threw his tie on Ross's leather chair, he asked, "What are you two talking about? Its two in the goddamned morning."

I looked up to Misha, urging him not to tell. Begging and pleading the best I could before the beta relented and sighed. "Conrad had a nightmare. We were about to go back sleep."

Joe grunted, struggling out of dress shirt. I couldn't help but cast a glance at the way the moonlight hit his bare chest in just the right way. He was a wall of lean, toned muscles. He caught my stare before I could even pretend to look away and held them in a threatening sort of way, letting me know that looking away was no longer an option. He was suddenly on the bed, pulling me from Misha as he shot Conrad's sleeping form a tender look.

"I know you're hiding something, little omega." My heart rate shot to a million miles a second as he took my chin between his thumb and pointer finger. Our lips brushed and the kiss lingered for a few seconds. He pulled back. "And we'll find out sooner or later. So why don't you tell us?"

"Joe," Misha sighed. I was thankful to be pulled back by the beta and tucked my head into the crook of his neck. It didn't help that the two started arguing.

"He needs to tell us. For fucks sake, Ross and I are his alphas. We'll take care of him!"

"You're not entitled to his thoughts, Joe. I know Conrad can deal with your overbearing shit but give Hans a break."

"Overbearing? Is that what it is? I just want to take care of the people I love. I just get done with another meeting with my 'family' and now I come home to be told that I'm an overbearing asshole for wanting Hans to be honest?"

"You're putting words into my mouth-"

"Am I know? I seemed to recall that-"

"Would you both kindly shut the fuck up, please and thank you?"

We all turned to find Conrad very awake and very much irritated. I peeked up at him, over Misha's shoulder. He flashed me a smile before turning to the others and scowling.

"What the hell is this all about? You're scaring Hans, and I need my beauty sleep so someone speak the fuck up."

"Language," Joe growled.

"Really, Joe? You're really going to police my speech now of all times? Well, let me fucking tell you something-"

"Conrad," Misha urged, putting a hand on the delta's shoulder that Conrad easily shook off. They were at it again. Now it was three voices, all speaking over each other, their volumes rising until the argument reached a crescendo I could no longer bear. In the cacophony of voices, I pushed myself away from Misha and sat up to face Joe and Conrad as well.

"This is my fault!"

There was a pause as they all looked to me. I wrapped my arms around myself. It was now or never. They shouldn't have to be with me because of the mess I'd wrought on.

"It's all my fault. Conrad getting roped into this and getting kidnapped. I'm the reason he has those nightmares. I'm the reason for all this," I waved my hands, indicating them, this whole mess. "I have hallucinations. Of my father. Of weird, grotesque things. He's going to come for me. I know he is. I know it's why you're all stressed. This whole thing..."

Light tears glinting in the moonlight streamed down my face. I hadn't looked up at them once since beginning my mangled mess of a monologue. "I should leave and let him have me, so-so n-no else keeps getting hur-hurt-"

I yelped as I felt myself being dragged and pulled, only to find myself in Conrad's arms. He was holding me tight and firmly to his lap. I put a hand on his chest to steady myself. Joe sat on the bed beside us, looking  worn and even worse for wear. His hand wrapped around my bare foot, warming it as he looked at me quietly and with intense blue eyes. Misha scooted over. I was cocooned between the three of them.

Conrad kissed my forehead before huffing. "I guess I should have opened up about the shit going on inside my head. If only I knew...god, you really think that Hans? You've been nothing but a godsend. It's not your fault your so-called father is a piece of shit. Its his fault he's a piece of shit and we'll deal with him, ok?"

"I'm sorry." This time, it came from Joe. My heart clenched at the defeated expression on his face. "I know for a fact that I can be an asshole. I know I shouldn't feel entitled just because I'm an alpha and you're an omega. I...I don't know how else to help. I was taught to deal with omegas a certain way. Throw money at them after you let them cry over whatever issue it is they're dealing with. I want to be better. I want you to open up to us, Hans. That stuff about the hallucinations....I want to help."

Joe then made it a point to turn to Conrad and narrowed his eyes a bit. "And that means you too, sweetheart. Don't think you're getting out of this just because you're too prideful to talk about your feelings."

Conrad rolled his eyes but didn't fight Joe on that point. We were all surprised when he even reluctantly agreed. "Whatever, Darling. I-yeah, whatever, ok. Yeah."

"Amazing. I never did foresee the day when you'd all act like grown adults. I was expecting armageddon first," Misha piped up.

I bit my lip, this time to hold back a smile as Joe and Conrad ripped on Misha for thinking he was the only adult. Everything felt a little easier, much less serious and the moment was a relief. We all jumped when the door opened once again. This time, Ross stood in the doorway. He tossed aside his tie and suit jacket while giving us all a raised eyebrow.

"So, whose idea was it to have first time group sex without me? "

"Leave it to the alpha to make everything about sex. We were having a moment," Conrad huffed. Ross strode over, easy slipping off his button-up and slacks. He frowned when he saw me even as I tried to duck my head.

"Hans...have you been crying?"

I quickly rubbed away the stain of tears but he joined us on the bed, cupping my cheek and bringing my lips to his. I'm sure my face was red hot and scorching. Ross let out a low rumble.

"You were." He spoke slowly and shot a look to Conrad the delta made a point to avoid. "And you're still having your nightmares."

"I'd just promised I'd talk more about it, ok? I'm-I'm not ready for therapy or counseling or whatever. Let me process everything."

"But you'll open up to us?" Ross looked between the both of us as a hopeful lilt touched his voice. Conrad gave a hesitant nod. I smiled and couldn't help but give Ross a quick peck when an enthusiastic smile split his face. The alpha blinked and then his eyes narrowed as his smile morphed into a smirk.

I yelped as he stole me from Conrad and rolled onto the bed. I was underneath him, blushing furiously, my hands to his chest.

"Ro-Ross-"

He kissed me. A gasp escaped me and he took the moment to slip his tongue in. I could have pushed him back. My arms felt weak and already I could feel his hands, rough and possessive, riding up my hips. His kiss was punishing, rough, needy, and I let him have his way. My whimpers were met with growls and my trembling moans rewarded with his arms wrapping themselves around my smaller form and bringing me closer to him.

Our lips parted and he smiled.  "I love it when you say my name. Just like that."

I caught my breath but suddenly, Joe was at my side. He stole a kiss and then Misha chuckled and took one after Joe. I was left breathless and even more so when Joe pulled Misha to him.

"You know, you've been just as much of a headache. I think a little reward for me is in order?" Joe smiled, leaning in and holding a struggling Misha close. The beta huffed and made a point to roll his eyes. It was alright. It was their usual banter.

We all stopped as a cough came from the left end of the large bed. Conrad looked awkward and out of place, slightly leaning on the headboard and pulling the blanket up to himself.

"Er, well, I'll, uh, leave you to it then...ssoo..."

Ross sighed and pulled the redhead into his arms. Conrad glanced away, biting his lip.

"Do you think you're ready?" His voice was soft and patient for an alpha as big as and as occasionally arrogant as Ross.

"I........no. I'm sorry. It's been a year and you guys have been doing great, fantastic really but even then I just-"

"You don't have to justify yourself. Take as long as you need. We'll wait for you."

That was that. Conrad looked at us, some parts apologetic, some parts surprised. His voice came out hesitant and a bit more vulnerable. It broke my heart as it did the others. We all gathered around him.

"We love you. And we'll continue to love you." I said. "It's the same as you said for me."

We shared a smile before Joe grumbled. "At least give me a kiss."

Conrad scoffed. "You and Misha wake me up at two in the goddamned morning with your old-married couple fight and expect a kiss? Make me, asshole."

Conrad almost had a look of triumph but that quickly disappeared as he realized his poor choice of words. Not a second later, Joe pounced on him. They struggled a bit but Joe seemed to have already won after stealing a few quick kisses. Conrad cursed and began throwing pillows that the alpha. Misha sighed.

As tired as I was, I couldn't help but feel an air on contentment surround me as I watched them. I leaned into Ross as we observed their antics.

As painful as the journey had been, the figurative light at the end of the tunnel seemed completely and utterly worth it. I looked about and knew that I was here with the men that I loved the most.

The End

-8-

(Go on to hear about my plans for a second book!)

Edit: So I have heard that the Authors Note doesn't show up for some. I'll post a TL;DR of what I wrote in it here.

The basic gist is that the second book will be out on April 12th this year based on the writing schedule I have set up. I also added that the second book (Hearts of Hope) will have sex scenes but this one didn't because I wanted to focus on other plot stuff. The character development is already a bit undeveloped. Finally, I have another book I will be posting (Lovers of Mérida) until the date of the sequel arrives. It will start next week. Sorry about that! If the author's note does show up for you, it's a bit more detailed, and I implore you to read it if you are interested.