Ch 23: Family

Is that Misha? Why does he look so sad? Is he crying? I smile. "I've only seen you cry when we watched the Lion King." Can he hear me? My voice feels distant and hazy like it's somebody else's voice. Like an astral projection. On another plane. I wish Misha could hear me, I think. I want to tell him a strand of his hair is in his eyes. I want to push it away but I can't move. Am I floating?

Misha leans in. "Conrad?" He's sobbing. My smile widens. I try to make a lame joke, something  from the Princess Bride. He smiles. Then he starts laughing. It's almost hysterical. The laughter quickly turns into more tears. I frown. I didn't mean to make him upset. Was my joke that bad? I don't have time to think. He kisses me.

A soft, chaste, caressing kiss. Even when he's not quite kissing me, his lips linger on mine. They stay there, a comforting pressure. I want to kiss him back but it's hard to move. His lips finally leave mine and there's something in his eyes I can't discern. I smile again.

"Remember that evening in Central Park?" I said. He looked confused. I continued. "I dunno man. I still think angels are like actually alphas or something. Probably real beefy boys under those gowns."

Misha smiled. There was amusement dancing around in his eyes. Another kiss. I wanted to keep telling him the story. I wanted to make him laugh again. But the darkness started to creep it's way in. I heard one last thing as sleep pulled me back into its confines.

"I'm sorry, Solnishko. I'm sorry for everything."

-8-

The lights are seering and painful at first. They finally come into focus after a few quick blinks. My skin was cold but I felt warmth in my hand. A bleary glance over and there I saw a hand wrapped tightly around mine. Our fingers were intertwined. Before me was Joe.

He was smiling and sitting in the chair pushed right up to the side of my bed. His hold on my hand tightened as we made eye contact. I stared at him with a hesitant and nervous look I'm sure was evident on face.

"Morning sweetheart." His voice had a playful tone with a gentle rumble underneath. Exhausted lines emphasized his eyes. Some distant part of me screamed to push away the hand wrapped so perfectly and protectively around mine. The touch was enchanting however. I couldn't pull away. I'd blame it on the pain meds later.

"Morning," my voice, distant and raspy replied. My eyes trailed to the rest of the room. My heartbeat sped up at the sight of Ross, Misha, and Hans. Misha, his hair a raggedy mess and his eyes a cloudy fog was leaning his tired head against Ross's chest. They sat quietly in another set of chairs and Ross whispered into Misha's year. In the seat next to him, Ross kept a tight hold around Hans while the omega stared quietly off into the distance. The raven-haired alpha seemed exhausted himself.

This was everything they were doing before I spoke. As soon as the greeting left my mouth, all pairs of eyes were laser-focused on me. Hans was the first to jump up and came to my other side.

"Are-are you feeling alright? I-we-we saw the bruises and-"

"Hans." Came Ross's commanding voice. The alpha and beta also stood up. Misha smiled at me. Ross sent a disapproving look Hans' way leaving the omega to pull his head down in submission. Before he moved away I grabbed his hand with my free one. It was only a half-conscience move but I didn't want him to step away.

I smiled as my eyes found the omega's gray-blue orbs filled with worry and anxiety. I'd have to teach Ross about talking to skittish omegas properly.

"No. It's ok. I'm fine, kiddo. Survived hell didn't I?" As I said this, I made an attempt to casually pull my hold away from Joe's. That was an exercise in futility. Joe's hold tightened as he caught my eyes once again. He smirked when I blushed.

"You sure did, pulling some heist level shit to get out. Don't know if we should put you in an insane asylum or not," Joe teased, although there was something else in his voice. Something a little more serious. I wondered if he meant to make good on that threat of locking me up.

Before I could respond, Hans jumped in rather frantically.

"Are you insane?  You could have been killed, Conrad!" I winced as he basically cried it out. His tone wasn't harsh like an alpha's. In fact, the poor omega was shaking, tears threatening to spill over. Slipping my hand out of his, I used it to push back the hair that fell in front of his shaky eyes and trembling lip.

My voice was just as shaky. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I felt Joe's hand tighten around mine. "I thought-though I was going to-"

"Die? Misha and his agents were working on this! We-I-"

"Is that who came at the end?"

There was a pause before everybody nodded. Misha spoke up, sounding more exhausted than I had ever heard him. He was still leaning into Ross who was currently still giving Hans disapproving looks.

"Ross's mother wanted a bodyguard and spy. I was it. I work on these cases, tracking down members of the underground world looking to extort, blackmail, and traffick. Dominic Seraz has been harassing businesses associated with the Edwards for a while now."

"That's why you used me as cover," I replied numbly. Again, another silence. This one was a little more drawn out and heavy. Personally, I was used to it. I already knew I had been nothing but a tool for Misha. The others, however, all had strange looks on their faces. Misha even had the gall to look...guilty. The beta nodded slowly and continued.

"We were looking for a headquarters. A base of business. Your kidnapping helped. We've taken care of Seraz. He won't be bothering you anymore."

I closed my eyes. A voice came through the haze and exhaustion that I desperately wanted to get back to.

"How'd you do it?" It was Ross, his voice a deep and husky sound of curiosity and concern.

"Did what?"

"Get out. You were on the lawn when Misha's agents retrieved you after the fighting and the arrests."

I couldn't help the quirk that turned my lip up. I explained it, leaving out the part about the gruesome beatings. It's not like they didn't know. The beatings felt more like distant nightmares at the moment. I knew everything would come back in full force, every broken rib, every punch to the gut, every tick of hunger but my mind was kind enough to blank out all the trauma for the time being lest I be overwhelmed into another coma. When I finished, the atmosphere shifted a little, although not much.

Joe looked stunned, impressed, and angry. His eyes said that my reckless ass probably did need to be tied down, preferably with chains, but I ignored him. Ross regarded me with a smirk and raise of the brow, only saying "interesting" while Misha looked floored. It was Hans who seemed the most out of sorts. The omega said nothing, however, as Joe finally heaved himself up, his hand slipping out of mine, and pulled the distressed omega into his chest. It was still strange seeing them so intimate but Hans seemed content for the moment. I smiled. That's all that really mattered. Hans was safe. Ross's business was safe. Misha had finished his mission and Joe was probably content with his partners. I guess it was the end. Even after all this time, it still hurt. Whatever. I was never a part of it. A part of them. They'd saved my sorry ass and that was that.

"Well, I guess I better start packing, huh? Maybe looking for a therapist, too," I muttered jokingly. Sleep seemed ready to pull me back, and I was ready for a rest. What kept me awake was the solemn looks that overtook everyone. Except Joe. That alpha looked pissed, which granted, was a lot of the time, but this time he looked especially pissed. Hans was the first to speak up.

"Couldn't you...stay for a bit longer?" The omega spoke, his face partially tucked into Joe's chest. Misha, surprisingly, nodded along.

"Yes," came out that russian lilt. "I have some more recipes to try out if you'd stay for another few dinners."

"Or, you could stay with us for as long as you want," Ross added. I looked up at him, stunned. Ross continued, unperturbed. "You wouldn't have to worry about money or having a job or anything. We'd be happy to help with the trauma. I have the best therapy can offer."

Tentatively, I shook my head and tried gently, to refuse the offer. Joe was furious.

"Why the hell are you so damn stubborn? We're offering anything you could ever possibly want! Enough of this pride bullshit! Let us help you for fucks-"

"Joe," Ross's voice came out deep and demanding. A firm but reasonable threat. Joe pulled back even though he looked like he had a million other things he wanted to say. I decided it was my chance. I'd get this shit out in the open once and for all.

"Listen," I began. "Deltas don't get listened to. So just listen, ok?"

When the silence was evident and all their eyes on mine, I continued, slow at first but quickly picking up speed. "I'm thankful for the help. But it's not like I'm your...boyfriend, or whatever. I don't want to intrude on whatever it is you all share. I'm obviously not a part of it. It would be weird for me and I'm sick of it. I want to go back to my life. It's not perfect. I'm poor and I probably can't afford a therapist right now. But I made the mistake of accepting someone's money once and I don't want to be dependent on them again." Joe winced but let me continue. "You all clearly have your own world, and I have mine. So, thanks for...everything. But, I just... want to go back...ok?"

There was another sombre silence. Joe looked conflicted. Misha and Ross made eye contact. Hans bit his lip, maybe in an effort to contain the tears. There wasn't much else to say. No one really bothered to pick up the conversation.

It was for the best, I told myself, as I watched them leave together. I wasn't a part of their world.

-8-

"Even with all that rest, you still look like shit, sleeping beauty," Declan pointed out.

"Yeah, fuck man, those are some shiners. Isn't a coma supposed to make you look sexier or something? Go back to sleep," Elise chimed in.

"I believe they call this harassment," James sighed as he handed me a vase of red, orange, and yellow tulips. Elise scoffed.

"S'not like our psycho alpha boyfriends set the mechanic shop on fire and gave Conrad a pummeling."

"Ex," James interjected. "He's my ex. We haven't been dating for years Elise. And I try not taking pointers from people with boomer-sounding names."

"The fuck did you say? You think I won't punch you because your blind?" Elise put her fists up and smirked. James smiled.

"The blindness is irrelevant. Me being a lawyer may be a deterrent."

"Would you both shut the fuck up?" Declan piped up as he took a seat next to my bed. "I need to know how this fucker ended up putting Freddy Krueger behind bars after escaping from a dungeon with a piece of wood and a carving knife. Spill, Fitzroy, you god among mortals."

The smile I had on was probably Joker proportions by this point. Family.

After nearly a week of torture, I was with the people I considered my family. We spent the day laughing and joking and catching up. I re-told my daring feat of heroism, partially exaggerated and without much of the gruesome details. I wanted to keep the trauma away and let myself be happy with the people I loved most for just one more day. I'd deal with the baggage later.

As the night wrapped up, they gave me hugs and promised to come back tomorrow. It'd be a while before I was discharged but the visits made the idea bearable. The pain meds helped with gaps of time in-between.

"You better fucking tell us when the anxiety hits, ok?" Elise commanded as she went in for one more hug. Declan and James agreed. I nodded.

"I mean it, Fitzroy. You pushed us away like you did when your parents went or when those assholes broke your heart. New York is your home and we're your family. You better come to us or I'll personally hire a PI to keep track of you at all times and Declan will happily move into the apartment across from you. Got it?"

At my look of betrayal thrown his way, James shrugged and smiled. "And I'll make sure to be their lawyer in the defense case should you try to sue us for stalking."

"Traitor," I accused him. They laughed, the bastards, and I couldn't help but join in. The ache felt a little less potent with them around. I smiled My friends. My family.

-8-

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