Ch 16: The Letter

I glanced at the box every now and then. The one with the Walkmen and the tape left by my father. I hadn't opened it. It'd been years and I swore a little to myself that I  had considered it once, coming back to New York, all those ages ago. Then the follies of being in a relationship had caught up to me. Tulach's Pub was demanding work and what little time I had, I'd stuck to coming back to Elise's shop and carving up anything I could  in the little corner that was my office.

"You should start selling," Elise would tell  me every now and then. As had James and Declan and even Misha. I couldn't. It was, in some logic that worked out in my head, an insult to my parents' memory. Carving up wood was now a sacred ritual to honor them. And for a while, it had been a way to cope.  With the loneliness. With the hurt and the pain. With being who I was.

The very least I could do was open the damn walkmen and listen to the tape my father had left me like he almost knew death was imminent. Of course he didn't. Who could have predicted they'd have a run in with some street hustlers linked to Seraz's father? I hadn't known exactly what happened that night when they were coming back from an outing but there was an absence of anything valuable in their car.

It didn't matter when the police went around to take statements. Dominic Seraz's father was an alpha. A rich and powerful alpha. My parents were deltas. The cops and the investigation vanished after a week. No leads supposedly.

I'd been thinking about my parents death a lot lately. The numbingly haunting emotion sitting always at the periphery of my mind was brought to the forefront whenever I stepped into the old house. Elise and Declan's parents had kept it just as it was, the flower pots in the same place, the TV not having moved an inch, my old rock band posters hung on the walls of my baby blue painted room. Elise's father was especially adamant about keeping it the same.

Why was I thinking so much about them?

Maybe it was the guilt. Moving to Portland. Refusing to come back for years. Not listening to the tape he'd left me. Maybe it was Seraz and the Blue Dragons. I hadn't talked to Dominic in ages and beside the fact that he had broken James's heart, I hadn't thought about him much. Not until I had met Hans. And the three men who'd taken some control over my life since a month ago when the hotel had been shot up.

Now, thoughts of Dominic and my parents, my friends, and my desolate love life seemed to be bouncing around in my head. The feeling of isolation was slowly spreading and growing like some nasty tumor.

"I never did tell you what that letter was about. The one Tony gave to me," I jumped as James spoke. There had been a ghostly silence since we'd walked into my parents home. Just like me, James had been walking around slowly, feeling his way through the house and around the various knickknacks although that was more for practicality then sentimentality on his end.

I slumped down on the old couch my mom had loved before looking up at him.

"No. You never did. Do tell."

There was a silence where James took the time to look sufficiently  uncomfortable before taking a tentative seat on a sofa he felt for nearby.

With a huff and a folding of his white cane he took out the crumpled piece of paper Tony had given to him from Dominic all those months ago. The way it was crumpled  and looked ready to split into tatters made me think he  had kept it in his pocket for quite a while. James coughed a  little.

"He...wanted to make a proposal. I knew about Hans a bit ago but wasn't sure who he was.  Dominic told me that once he got some omega, he would be ok with us being together as long  as  this omega was presented as his spouse, and I stayed quietly in the background."

Obviously James couldn't see but by the little pause he obviously knew something was wrong. That being that I was already seething in my chair, ready to jump up and smash some alpha's head. At the same time, it was almost painfully cliche what Dominic was proposing; I had heard the story from plenty of deltas who'd fallen in love with and mated someone of a much higher rank than them. They were to stay "hidden". A secret. It was Joe and I a few years ago.

James continued steadily in his monotone voice. "I went to the police right away, letting  them know. I...realize that was a bad idea on my part...I  suppose it never occured to me what Dominic is capable of...I-I...it may have been my fault...Dom-Dominic's men knew Hans was at the ball..."

There was that incessant ringing noise in my ear again as I looked James up and down. The delta looked ashamed. I realized, with the  way he sort of drew into himself, James was expecting something from me. I stood.

"James," I said, surprised by the evenness of my own voice. "You-you...are you in danger? Is-is Dominic-"

"No," James looked up, startled by my implication. "No. He dragged me into his office after I told the police and acted like a conceited jerk  as always but if anything...." James slumped down and sighed. "He thought it was funny. He thinks it's funny  that I 'had any faith in the system'.  I haven't spoken to him since."

"No one's bothered you?"

"No one."

I let out a long breath that I had no I'd  been holding. Thank god. James was safe. Hopefully. I could feel the blond delta studying me, his pale eyes lingering in my general direction as he tilted his head in a way that always made me think he was listening for any kind of sound or movement.

"It's ok," I muttered to the dusty air around me. "I don't blame you for anything. Ross and the others are keeping Hans is safe now."

Even with sunglasses on, James  tended to have a ridiculously emotive face. He  drew his brows together  and ridge filled with tension formed between them as he gave me a tight and concerned frown. Part of me thought I knew what  was coming.

Elise, Declan, and James all knew about my ex-capades. Haha. They knew about Misha and Joe and after some sufficient drunken ranting on my part, they knew about Ross's inexplicable role in what seemed to be some of the lowest parts of my life. It was like some kind of soulmate's universal entwinement myth except that he was  actually just my universally bonded sadist. In recent months, I'd liked to have thought I had gotten better but occasionally I'd see a stray look of pity from one of them that irritated me to know end. It had only gotten worse now that I was close contact with Misha and Joe.

For that reason, I could already see what the wrinkles of concern meant on James's face. He was going to ask about the general state of my mental wellbeing and then voice a reasonable concern or two, and I was getting ready to deflect.

"Conrad, are you-"

He stopped short when there came a knock on the door. We looked at each other. Well, "looked". James seemed shaken. I was thinking the same thing. Who else would come here? The only other people would be Elise, Declan, and Elise's father. They sure as hell wouldn't knock.

There was an eerie silence as we looked between each other.  Another knock. Doing my best not to elicit any sound from the creaky floorboards, I slowly began to inch past the living room and just behind the front door. I needn't have looked through the peephole because a deep and husky voice called out.

"Hello? It's Joe."

Somewhat more thrown off than if it had been anyone else, I opened the door slowly and looked up the man who had dropped me off to the streets of Portland all those years ago. He was wearing a fitting black T-shirt and a pair of nice fitting blue levis. Some fancy designer coat I couldn't gage the brand of shielded him from the chilly morning. I took a step aside as he strode inside.

As I was trying to put together the pieces, Joe was already shaking hands with a still shaken James. I watched with a bit of annoyance as he looked James up and down with a look in his eyes I knew only too well. It wasn't jealousy. It was knowing this was a look James got all the time before they realized he was a delta and not just a tall and lean omega and then the look would suddenly morph into  disinterest at best and disgust at worst. I felt a surge of protectiveness but Joe already had his eyes on me. I raised a brow.

"A cute place you got here. All yours?"

I blinked. I couldn't as of yet tell what his game was. "It was my parents' home. They died and some family  friends bought it to keep it protected."

I was sure Joe knew to some  extent what had happened to my parents although it wouldn't surprise me  if he had ignored anything from our conversations  when it pertained to me. I remembered a lot about him. His difficult relationship with his brother Benjamin. His strong dislike for his mother. The pancreatic cancer that his father was battling. I knew a little too much. Joe probably couldn't even remember that I had wanted to carve intricate creatures out of wood for a living at one point.

There was an awkward silence that followed as he rubbed the back of neck. I looked away from the way his powerful chest jutted out as he did so.

"Right..." he mumbled. Then he sighed. "Look, I'll make it short and simple. Ross wants you at some ball event they're hosting tomorrow. Don't ask me why. I have no idea why he'd want you-erm, well, whatever. You're going. Whether you like it or not. He has some intel on Seraz's men."

"What?" I grit my teeth. "You can't just-you can't demand me to be somewhere whenever you want!"

Joe crossed his arms and straightened his back. It was something alphas did in the movies when they meant "no more argument". It would have been amusing to point that out to him but I was too overcome with the urge to punch his face instead.

"You're coming. Or the deal is off. I already talked to your friend Declan. He told me you were going to be here, and I convinced him to give you a day off. So no excuses. Understand?"

"Oh fuck off, dad."

Joe smirked. The controlled breath that came out made me realize he was trying not to laugh. One of  these days this asshole was going to find arsenic in his wine glass.

"Glad we're on the same page. I'll be seeing you." And with that he was gone.

To say I was fuming and angry would be wrong because it would be one hell of a gross understatement at the absolute fury I felt imagining his smug face in my head. I was sure James could see the cartoonish red face and steam blowing out of my ears nevermind that he was blind. It was a universal image.

As I watched the asshole drive off  in his luxury car from the porch, I could hear James saying something behind me.

"You know, they have your number don't they? It's weird that he came out here to tell you in person," he muttered thoughtfully, almost to himself. Irregardless, I was hardly paying attention. My mind was already running in circles knowing that it would have to steal itself against another high-end, pretentious gathering.

-8-

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