chapter twenty | mess it up

MILA SHIFTED HER attention back to the screen, watching as Tessa scrolled through the various comments. All of them ran her name through the dirt. Now that she was thinking about it, she could only imagine who exposed her relationship to the media.

Suddenly, everything made sense.

This was Tessa's master plan. It wasn't Jordan that won, it was Tessa. "So, do we have a deal?" Tessa asked as she closed the app, shoving her phone back into her pocket. This was something that Mila tried to avoid for years, but it just led her here. "I honestly don't see any other option for you here."

She was right. She didn't have any other option. She couldn't talk to Gracie about anything, she was too upset with her. As of now, she was on her own. "Sure, when am I picking you up?" She asked her with a tone of defeat.

Tessa's grin widened, slow and sharp, like a blade being unsheathed. She tilted her head, letting her eyes rake over Mila, savoring the moment. "Oh, love, you're not picking me up," She said, leaning in just close enough for her breath to brush against Mila's cheek. "I'm picking you up. Saturday night. Eight o'clock."

Mila felt her stomach twist into a knot like she might be sick. She hated how familiar this felt — how familiar Tessa felt. This was the same thing she fought so hard to escape from years ago. At that point, she convinced herself that it was love, but now, she knew it was control. Tessa had it, but never let it go.

"Whatever," Mila muttered, eyes cast downward as she swirled the beer in her glass, watching the foam rise and settle.

"See you Saturday, babe," Tessa spoke with a wink before she made her way out of the building. That suffocating feeling from earlier was now gone.

That simple word repeated in her brain. Saturday. She had exactly three days to get out of this if there was a way to get out of it. The more that she thought about it, she realized just how lonely she was with this. She had no one she could go to. The one person she trusted wasn't there anymore.

She was going to find a way out of this, she just needed a solid plan. Maybe she could talk to Adam. He had helped her so many times in the past, that now couldn't be any different. She just had to keep her cool and breathe.

For now, she would return to the studio and finish her song. This would be the last song for her album. It had to be perfect.

Since she had seen the video, she couldn't stop thinking about it. It stayed at the forefront of her mind, she could only imagine how Mila must be feeling right now. She couldn't check on her either, Mila wasn't talking to her. She couldn't help but think that if only she had checked in when she had the chance, maybe things would be different.

She kept thinking that if Mila would let her back in, they could make it better, and break every habit. Now, she wasn't sure if Mila would ever speak to her again.

She sat in her bedroom, all the memories with Mila playing in her head as she looked at pictures of the two on her laptop. They were so happy and in love, she stared at them, finding the common factor in almost every picture. It wasn't very noticeable, but she could find Jordan in almost all of them. Most of their pictures were taken while on tour.

That's when it hit her, she would have to tour with Mila once again. Seeing her every day was going to kill her.

Anytime she hears her name, she remembers the angry and broken tone of her voice from their phone call a couple of nights before. It killed her that she was the cause of that. She was the reason that the love of her life felt that way.

As she scrolled through a few more pictures, she heard her bedroom door open. She closed her laptop and looked over her shoulder to see Audrey with a comforting smile on her face. "You've been locked up in here since you got back from Jordan's office, is everything okay?" She asked her curiously, walking further into the room.

"You know when I would stay over at Mila's house and I would work on a song, I would quietly sing a verse to myself and I would look over to find her asleep." Gracie sadly smiled as she recalled the memory, completely avoiding the question. That was enough of an answer for her best friend. She nodded in acknowledgment as she approached the bed, soon sitting across from her, crossing her legs. "She had this cute, tired smile on her face every time. She would tell me that she found my voice soothing, calming enough to make her sleep."

Audrey's face softened, her eyes filled with quiet understanding. "She always looked at you like you were the sun, you know that, right?" She said, leaning forward, resting her elbows on her knees.

Gracie let out a hollow laugh, shaking her head as she glanced down at her hands. "Yeah, well, I guess I burned her out." Her voice cracked on the last word. She then pressed her lips together to stop anything else from slipping out.

Audrey tilted her with and flashed her a firm but kind gaze. "No, we won't be doing that. Gracie, you can't twist this into something it isn't." She quickly spoke to shut this down.

She could tell that she was about to spiral and she couldn't let her do that.

Gracie looked up, her eyes glassy. "What if it is what it is, though?" She wiped the heel of her hand under her nose. "I should've fought harder for her. Jordan told me all of this shit and I let her take control. She made me question her, I never question her." She inhaled sharply, her chest rising and falling with the weight of everything she'd been carrying. "Now look at us, she probably hates me."

"Trust me, she doesn't hate you." She reassured, shifting closer to her on the bed. Her voice was now firm. "She's hurt. There's a difference. Hurt people say things they don't mean."

"Hurt people also walk away I guess." She muttered, her voice so quiet it almost didn't make it past her lips. "She's good at that."

"Please, be fucking for real. She's not walking away," Audrey countered, eyes narrowing as if daring Gracie to argue. "She's protecting herself. You of all people should understand."

She let out a sigh at the realization, she knew she was right. She's protecting herself. Mila was doing exactly what she would have done. It was a survival tactic, not a choice.

Audrey reached over, placing a hand on Gracie's knee. "If you're this torn up about it, maybe you should stop thinking about all the reasons it went wrong and start thinking about how to make it right."

"What if it's too late?"

"Then at least you'll know you tried," Audrey said softly, squeezing her knee. "I know you, Gracie. You're not the type to walk away without a fight."

Silence hung in the air for a moment, thick but not uncomfortable. Gracie leaned back against the headboard, eyes fixed on the ceiling like she was looking for some kind of sign from the universe, but the universe didn't answer. It never did.

Audrey patted her knee, soon getting up from the bed and leaving her to her lonesome once again.

Her laptop was still warm beside her. Her fingers hovered over it, unsure if she wanted to open it back up. Those pictures were supposed to make her happy — memories of love, of comfort. Now they just felt like proof of everything she'd lost.

"Tour's gonna be hell," She muttered to herself, letting out a breath.

Music played through the speakers of Mila's record player. She had been listening to her favorite Billy Joel album as she looked through her emails. The warm crackle of the vinyl filled the quiet room, blending with the soft hum of the air conditioner.

Most of her emails were about the video that Tesaa had posted. Her PR team was already working on a plan to fix what she had destroyed. The other concern was Gracie and her reputation.

The song she was listening to had ended with a new one beginning. She instantly recognized the opening notes that formed the piano trill. It transported her back to the hotel roof, seeing Gracie so stressed over songwriting. She remembered giving her an earbud so the two could listen to music together, instantly helping Gracie calm down.

That was one of the first times that the two had connected on a deeper level. A moment that showed how much they understood each other. After recent events, it all felt like a lie.

Like they didn't understand each other after all.

Everything she knew to be true felt like a lie. She hated that she felt that way after her.

She still loved her more than anything, but she couldn't look at her right now. That's when it hit her. She still had to tour with her, she could only imagine how that could go wrong.

Billy's voice filled the room with the familiar lyrics, allowing her to feel the ache, the regret, and everything in between.

She wanted nothing more than to call Gracie and apologize for everything, to make this right. She wanted to, but she couldn't. As long as Jordan was in control, she didn't want to be a part of the narrative, she wouldn't allow herself. In the short time of knowing Jordan, she had already made an enemy of her, somehow. To this day, she still doesn't know what she did to make Jordan hate her like this.

She may never know.

She looked over at her phone on the bedside table, face down like she was afraid of what might light up the screen next. She knew what she wanted to do — what every part of her was screaming at her to do. Call her. Apologize. Beg. Something.

Would that change anything, though? She felt that she shouldn't be the only one to apologize. Gracie was in the wrong as much as she was, if not more.

Instead, she closed her eyes and listened to Billy Joel's voice fill the silence.

A breath hitched in her chest.

Gracie had always been the ambitious one. The dreamer. The one who believed in people, even when she probably shouldn't. Mila wondered if that belief had finally run out — if it had finally run out for her.

Now, she wondered if Gracie would ever look at her that way again.

She was quickly pulled out of her thoughts by the buzzing sound of her phone, which caused her to freeze.

She sat up, eyes locked on the phone like it was something alive, something dangerous. Her heart pounded as she reached for it, slow and careful. Her hands felt cold, her fingertips numb as she flipped it over.

1 NEW MESSAGE — Audrey

She let go of the breath that she didn't know she was holding in, her heart felt like she had run a mile. She then opened the message.

Audrey: Gracie's quiet today. You okay?

Her breath came out as a shaky exhale as she stared at the message. She knew Audrey was trying to help, but how was she supposed to explain something she didn't even understand herself?

She then typed out her reply.

I'm fine. :Mila

She lied. It was easier than the truth.

Instead of receiving another text, her phone started to ring. The second she hit the accept button, she heard Audrey's voice. "You have to be more convincing than that." She simply spoke.

"You couldn't have said that over text?" She asked curiously, a chuckle coming out. The first time she laughed since that horrible day.

"Texting's too easy to ignore," Audrey shot back. "And I figured if I annoyed you enough, you'd have no choice but to talk to me."

Mila shook her head, a small, tired smile tugging at the corner of her lips. "Mission accomplished, I guess."

"I know you're not fine, Mila. You don't have to lie to me or yourself."

"I don't even know what to say," She admitted quietly, eyes flicking to the record player as the song changed again. She knew this one too. "Vienna." Of course, it was Vienna. It felt like the universe was laughing at her. "I feel like I ruined everything."

"You didn't ruin anything. I know what you're thinking and she's not mad at you. She's mad at the situation, never you. She talks too highly of you to be mad at you."

Hearing that put her mind at ease. "Do you think I should call her?" She asked curious. She wanted to, but if Audrey thought she shouldn't then she would wait a little bit longer.

'You should, just call her tomorrow. Now, you get some rest and I'll see checking on you tomorrow morning."

With that, Audrey ended the call. She wiped the tears that she didn't know had fallen from her eyes, letting out a shaky breath. She would do what Audrey said and call Gracie tomorrow. If they were going to tour together, they had to at least be able to be in the same room for long periods.

She only hoped that Gracie would listen to her.

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AUTHORS NOTE !

AHHHHH we're halfway

through this story...i'm

not okay. gracie and mila

are my babies, i love them

so much and i hate that

they have to hurt right now.

anyway, i love you all and

thank you once again for

the support. i hope you all

enjoyed and i hope there's

no mistakes!