chapter sixteen | bad dreams

MILA JOLTED AWAKE, her breath sharp and fast like she'd just surfaced from underwater. It took her a second to realize where she was—LA, in the bedroom, Gracie curdled up beside her. Her heart still pounded in her chest, the remnants of a dream she couldn't remember clinging to the back of her mind.

She pressed a hand to her forehead, feeling the coolness of her skin against her palm.

Everything felt too loud. The sound of the air conditioner. The soft creak of the bed frame. The faint buzz of the streetlights outside the window.

She blinked a few times, wiping at her eyes even though she wasn't crying. By now, the dream had already slipped away, the vague flashes of color and shadow, but the feeling of it lingered.

Beside her, Gracie shifted, her face scrunching up in that sleepy, half-conscious way Mila always thought was adorable. Her eyes slowly began to blink open, her lashes fluttering like they were too heavy to lift. "Are you okay?" She mumbled, her voice thick with sleep. She reached out blindly, her hand landing on Mila's arm, fingers curling lightly around her wrist.

Mila blinked at her, eyes still adjusting to the dim glow from the streetlights seeping through the blinds. Her throat felt tight, her chest even tighter. "Yeah, I'm okay." She lied, voice quieter than she meant it to be. She glanced away, staring at the glow of the clock on the nightstand. 2:47 a.m.

Gracie let out a low hum, still half-asleep, but shifted closer, burying her face against Mila's shoulder. Her arms wrapped loosely around her waist, it seemed as if it was instinct to her now. "Bad dream?" She asked softly, her words barely more than a whisper.

This was her chance to speak her mind, or she could hide her thoughts and feelings again. It was just another dream, it didn't mean anything. She's been having dreams all week, all of them started the day after she visited with her family. "Something like that." She replied, her eyes flickering back to the clock. Her fingers tapped against her leg, a subtle, restless movement she didn't even realize she was doing.

"Wanna talk about it?" Gracie's voice was closer now, her breath warm against Mila's neck.

She shook her head, still not looking at her. "No. I don't even remember it." That was only half-truth. She couldn't remember the details, but she remembered the feeling. She always remembered that feeling. Like she was being pulled back into something she'd fought so hard to leave behind.

The two sat in silence for a few moments, the soft hum of the air conditioner filling the space between them. Mila tried to focus on the sound instead of the pounding in her chest. She tried to ground herself like she had taught herself to do—feel the cool fabric of the sheets under her fingertips, smell the faint lavender smell from a candle that she had burned earlier that day, and try to steady her breathing.

It worked, but only a little.

Gracie hated seeing her girlfriend like this, she hated that she wasn't being truthful with her about it. "Want me to distract you?" She offered, her eyes now fully opened. Her gaze was now sharp despite the dim light.

Mila turned to look at her with a faint smile. "What? Like a magic trick?" She jokingly asked.

Gracie flashed her a sleepy grin. "No, dummy." She replied, giving her a playful nudge. "I mean, I can talk to you about literally anything until your brain gets too bored of being sad."

She huffed out a laugh, visibly confused about what Gracie had just said. "Gracie, I don't think that's how brains work." She spoke through a chuckle.

"Yeah, well, I'm not a brain scientist, but I'm pretty sure it works if you do it right." Gracie shifted to sit up beside her, pulling the blanket up over both their laps. She turned to Mila, eyes warm and alert now, like she was ready to stay up all night if that's what Mila needed. "Here's a question for you. If you could change your career at any point, would you do it?"

Mila raised an eyebrow, wiping her face one more time, though she didn't really need to anymore. "That's the most horrible question I've ever heard."

"It's a fantastic question, now answer it."

"Fine," Mila replied and thought about it for a moment, running through every scenario that could result to something like that. "No, I couldn't do it." She replied once she came to a conclusion.

"Good answer, you're stuck with the musician life now."

Mila let out a genuine laugh, one that shook her shoulders and felt lighter than she'd expected it to. It wasn't loud or long, but it was real. She glanced over at Gracie, who was grinning at her like she just won a prize.

"See?" Gracie spoke up, nudging her again. "Brain got bored of being sad."

Mila rolled her eyes, still smiling, still feeling that warmth in her chest. She reached out and laced their fingers together, letting her head rest on Gracie's shoulder.

"Thanks." She whispered, her eyes slipping shut again.

"Always." Gracie replied, pressing a kiss to Mila's temple.

The heaviness from the dream wasn't completely gone, but as long as Gracie was with her, she knew everything would be okay. She knew that she was safe.

Whenever Gracie was around, she could be at peace.

Hours after the hell she experienced, she sat in the living room while she scrolled through her phone. The sleeves of her hoodie were pushed up to her elbows, her hair in a loose bun. The smell of batter and butter filled the air, and for once, it wasn't because something was burning.

In the kitchen, Gracie stood by the stove, flipping pancakes with intense concentration. She glanced over her shoulder to see Mila on the couch, in her little world. She softly grinned at the sight. As soon as she turned back to the task at hand, she heard Mila stand up and make her way toward the kitchen and then lean against the kitchen counter, watching her.

"Don't say it," Gracie warned, flipping the pancake perfectly.

"Say what?" Mila asked, grinning at her.

Gracie looked over at her once again, squinting at her. "You were about to mention my 'charcoal disc legacy.'"

Mila laughed, loud and real this time, letting her head fall back against the wall. "You said it, not me."

Now, Gracie had completely turned around to face her, pointing her spatula at her like it was a weapon. "One more word, and I'm feeding yours to the dog." She playfully threatened.

"I don't have a dog." Mila shot back.

"I'll find one," Gracie said, her eyes squinting in mock determination.

The two laughed at the playful banter, the sound filling up the kitchen like music. The weight from earlier events hadn't faded, but it was okay. It made her realize that things didn't have to be perfect for them to be good and that it was okay for some things to go wrong.

Mila glanced at Gracie again, watching her hum to herself as she flipped another pancake, her movements loose and carefree. It hit her then, in a way that didn't feel sharp or sudden, but steady and certain.

This. This right here. This is love.

Over the last few months that the two had been together, Mila had noticed her feelings for Gracie only getting stronger. For once since Tessa, she felt like she was able to love again and accept it from someone else. For the first time in a long time, a relationship felt real and she didn't feel like it was too good to be true. Gracie made her believe in love again, now it was time that she knew that.

"Hey," Mila called softly, her voice barely cutting through the hum of the stove.

Gracie glanced over, still holding the spatula like a microphone. "What's up?" She asked her curiously.

Mila tilted her head, her eyes soft but serious. "I love you." She said it so casually as if they had been saying it all along.

Gracie blinked, caught off guard for a second before her whole face melted into that crooked, boyish smile that Mila loved so much. She wiped her hands on a dish towel, walking over until she was right in front of Mila.

"Yeah?" She spoke, leaning in close, their foreheads almost touching.

"Yeah," Mila whispered back.

After hearing her answer, Gracie closed the gap, kissing her slow and easy, like she had all the time in the world. At that moment, she didn't care if she burned the pancakes. What mattered to her now, was that Mila loved her and she loved Mila.

They were in love.

All day, Gracie had thought about this morning's events. Mila told her that she loved her. She hasn't been able to stop smiling since it happened, she felt like she was the happiest girl in the world. Like she was on Cloud Nine.

Now, she was back at her shared apartment with her best friend, telling her everything that happened at breakfast.

Gracie sat cross-legged on the plush gray couch, her hands moving animately as she retold the story. Her eyes were bright, cheeks flushed with a blush that hadn't left her face all day. A throw blanket was draped over her lap, half-forgotten as her excitement buzzed through her limbs.

"I'm serious, Audrey. She just said it," Gracie said, her voice still tinged with disbelief. She leaned forward, gripping a pillow tightly against her chest. "Like, no warning, no build-up, just— 'I love you.' And I—I didn't know what to do at first, I swear my brain short-circuited."

Audrey sat at the other end of the couch, legs tucked under her as she watched Gracie with a fond smile. She held a mug of tea in her hands, blowing on it before taking a sip. "Did you say it back?" She asked, eyebrows raised knowingly.

"Of course I did!" Gracie exclaimed, tossing the pillow aide so she could throw her arms up in the air. "You think I'm gonna hear that and not say it back?" She fell against the couch, a soft, dreamy sigh leaving her lips as she stared at the ceiling. Her hands came to cover her face as if the feeling was too overwhelming to contain. "I'm so screwed, Audrey."

"Screwed?" Audrey laughed, leaning forward to nudge Gracie's leg with her foot. "Girl, you just got a love confession from the hottest musician in the industry right now. If that's 'screwed', I'd love to see what winning looks like."

Gracie pulled her hands away from her hands, lips curling into an uncontrollable smile. I know. I know, it's just—" She turned her head to look at Audrey, her grows knitted together in something close to wonder. "It feels different with her. Like, it's not just butterflies or whatever. It's like—like I'm safe." She explained.

Audrey's smile softened into something more thoughtful, and she tilted her head. "That's how it's supposed to feel, G," She said quietly, her eyes kind. "It's not supposed to feel like you're chasing something that you'll never catch."

Gracie was silent for a moment, letting the words settle. She knew exactly what Audrey meant, and maybe that was the difference. With Mila, she didn't feel like she had to prove anything, and she didn't feel like she had to mold herself into someone else just to be enough. She could just be.

"Yeah," Gracie softly spoke, staring at the ceiling again. "It feels like that."

Audrey smiled at her again, setting her mug down on the coffee table. "Okay, but I need details," She said, scooting closer like she was getting ready for the good part. "Where were you? What did she say exactly? Did you cry? Did she cry?"

Gracie playfully groaned, a half-laugh bubbling under the sound. "You are so nosy, Audrey.

"Absolutely. You know I live for this stuff. Spill it."

Gracie rolled her eyes, but the grin on her face betrayed her. She sat up, hugging her knees to her chest. "Okay, okay," She relented, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. Her voice dropped to something quieter, like she was letting herself savor every part of the memory.

"We were in the kitchen," She began, her eyes far away like she was still standing in that sunlit room with Mila. "She was leaning against the doorframe, and I was by the stove trying not to burn the pancakes—"

"You burned them, didn't you?" Audrey cut in, her eyes already full of mischief.

"No, not let me finish—" Before she could say another word, Gracie's phone buzzed on the coffee table, vibrating with an urgency that made her pause. She glanced at the screen and immediately sighed. The name "Jordan" lit up the screen in bold letters.

"Work?" Audrey asked, already knowing the answer.

"Yeah," Gracie muttered, reaching for the phone with a sluggish movement. She hesitated for a second, thumb hovering over the answer button. Audrey watched her closely, her smile dimming.

"Don't let her kill your vibe," She warned, leaning back against the cushions with a knowing look.

Gracie nodded and took a deep breath. She hit the answer button and pressed the phone to her ear. "Hey, Jordan."

"Gracie, good. I'm calling to give you the schedule update," Jordan's voice was brisk, all business as usual. "We've got rehearsals starting back up next week. It's gonna be a tight turnaround, so I'm gonna need you to clear your calendar for the next two weeks. Studio sessions, choreography, press prep—it's all coming back at once."

Gracie closed her eyes, her free hand rubbing over her face as she leaned forward on her knees. She glanced at Audrey, who watched her with a raised brow.

"Right," Gracie said, her voice flatter now. "Got it."

"Don't got it me, Gracie" Jordan said sharply. "I need you focused this time. No distractions. We've got too much riding on this."

There was that excuse again. No distractions. She didn't need Jordan to explain what she meant.

"I'll be there," Gracie replied quietly.

"Good. I'll send over the schedule tomorrow. Stay sharp, yeah?"

"Yeah," Gracie said, but it sounded distant like her voice had been hollowed out. She hung up before Jordan could say anything else.

"Let me guess," Audrey spoke, tilting her head, "'no distractions,' huh?"

Gracie didn't answer right away. She tossed the phone onto the coffee table like it had burned her and pressed the heels of her hands against her eyes.

"Hey," Jess said softly, nudging her with her foot again. "Don't do that thing where you shut down. Not now."

"I'm fine. It's just—it's a lot."

"It's always a lot. That doesn't mean you have to turn into a ghost again."

Her chest felt tight. Her mind, already spinning with thoughts of studio dates, rehearsals, and schedules, fought against the warmth that had filled her earlier. The softness she'd felt thinking about Mila, the glow of love still fresh in her heart, it was starting to feel farther away.

"Don't let her kill your vibe," Audrey repeated.

What she didn't know, was that it was already slipping through her fingers.

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AUTHORS NOTE !

i think these chapters

are just getting longer

each time i post, it's

weird but so fun to

write. anyway, i hope

you all enjoyed and i

hope there's no mistakes!