4.2 • Her Namesake Shauhar

Parisa returned home an hour early. Her husband must have arrived home from the  airport by then. She was nervous to meet Alamgeer after so long.

They were only seventeen when their families got them married. A year later, Alamgeer was sent to abroad.

Even if they were married for nine years, they knew very less about each other.

With nervousness clouding her mind she entered the Haveli. The scene in the living hall was filled with laughter and enthusiasm. Family members were sitting together with Alamgeer being the centre of attention.

“Lo bhai, Parisa bhi aa gayi.” said Mashal, Alamgeer's mother.

(See, Parisa is here.)

“Assalam Alaikum.” Parisa said softly. She was not behaving like her usual self. She seemed quiet and nervous.

“Walaikum Salam, shauhar ke saamne kaise bholi ban rahi hai yeh shaitaan.” Dadi Jaan commented and everyone began laughing, except for Alamgeer.

(Walaikum Salam, she is acting all innocent in front of her husband.)

Parisa kept her gaze down, “Ammi, mai fresh hokar aati hoon.” Saying so she rushed towards her bedroom.

(Ammi, I'll come after getting fresh.)

🕊️🕊️🕊️

Parisa opened the door to her bedroom and quickly locked it as she entered in her personal space. She threw her kit on the bed and opened the cupboard to see Alamgeer's clothes present in the cupboard as well.

“Hadh hai! Aanth saal baad mera namesake shauhar waapis aaya hai. Aur aate hi uska samaan mere kamre mein rakhwa diya. Yeh pakka iss dictator budhiya ka kaam hai. Yeh Dadi kab maregi, yaar?”

(My namesake husband has returned after eight years. And right after his return his luggage has been placed in my bedroom. This is the deed of that dictator old lady for sure. When will this Dadi die, man?)

Nonetheless, she picked a random dress and quickly changed into it before going back to the living hall.

By then everyone was sitting on the dining table to have lunch together.

“Alam beta, yeh gajar ka halwa toh lo. Parisa ne khaas tumhare liye banaya hai.” Dadi lied, to make the process of having a great grandchild faster.

(Alam Beta, have this Gajar Ka Halwa. Parisa has specially cooked it for you.)

“Lekin, Dadi Jaan, mujhe toh halwa banana aata hi nahi. Aapko zaroor galatfehmi hui hogi.” But Parisa had to ruin Dadi Jaan's plan.

(But, Dadi Jaan, I don't know how to cook Halwa. You must have mistaken.)

Alamgeer's father Akbar stifled his chuckle at this exchange of misunderstanding. While Dadi glared at Parisa who went to sit beside her father-in-law.

“Arrey, Parisa, apne shauhar ke sath baitho.”

(Arrey, Parisa, sit with your husband.)

Parisa really wanted to put some glue in Dadi's food so that she stop irritating her in the old-school manner.

Parisa nodded unwillingly and moved to sit beside Alamgeer who appeared to be as uncomfortable as she herself was.

Parisa was about to serve herself some biryani when Dadi again interrupted her,

“Parisa, pehle apne shauhar ko biryani dalo.”

(Parisa, first serve Biryani to your husband.)

“Pehle aapko zehar naa de doon.” Parisa really wanted to say this to her grandmother-in-law. However, she knew better than saying this.

(Shouldn't I first give poison to you.)

“Nahi, Dadi, mai apna khana khud serve kar sakta hoon.” Alamgeer felt awkward. He had done his chores by himself for the last eight years and he wanted to keep it the same back home as well.

(No, Dadi, I can serve myself.)

“Arrey, aise kaise? Shauhar ho tum uske. Tumhare liye kaam nahi karegi toh kiske liye kaam karegi?” Alamgeer was already feeling annoyed by his grandmother.

(Arrey, how? You are her husband. If she won't work for you, then for who else she'll work?)

“Haan bhai, self-dependence naam ki toh koi chidiya hi nahi hoti,” Parisa mocked the old lady in her mind.

(Yes, there is no such bird named self-dependence.)

“Alam beta, deewar par sar maroge toh khudka hi sar phootega. Yeh deewar 1947 se kayam hai.” stated Alamgeer's father with a hint of humor.

(Alam Beta, if you hit your head on a wall your head will get hurt. This wall is standing tall since 1947.)

At last, Parisa served some biryani on Alamgeer's platter.

And the award of most annoying creature alive goes to Jannat Begum aka Dadi Jaan.

#PariKiBudhiya

“Do mahine ki thi mai jab unn kambakht angrezon ne hindustan ke do hisse kar diye. Lekin mere abba bhi date rahe. Mar jayenge lekin apna ghar nahi chhodenge. Hamare Hindu padosiyo ne bhi hamari bohat madad ki thi.” Out of nowhere, Dadi Jaan began narrating her own story.

(I was only two months old when those wretched Britishers divided Hindustan into two parts. But my Abba Jaan stayed firm on his resolve. We'll die but won't leave our home. Our Hindu neighbours had also helped us a lot.)

“Jee haan, tabhi toh jab chote bete ne ek hindu se shadi kar li toh usey khandan se bedakhal kar diya.” Akbar commented, mocking his mother's hypocrisy.

(Oh yes, that's why when your younger son married a Hindu you outcast him from the family.)

Dadi Jaan's expression changed.

“Haan bhai, maaro taane apni budhi maa ko. Ab yahi dinn dekhne reh gaye hai.” When she had no argument left, she played the victim card.

(Yes, taunt your old mother. Now only these days were left to witness.)

Parisa, Alamgeer and Mashal kept quiet all the while. They didn't want to ignite anymore fire between the mother-son duo. They had plenty of issues to argue about.

“Khudaya, ab toh budhiya pakka sadme se mar jayegi. Abba Jaan bas do-teen baar aur aise khari-khoti suna do.” Parisa thought to herself. Getting excited for her very selfish reasons.

(God, now this ager will definitely die of trauma. Abba Jaan just taunt her two-three times more like this.)

“Dadi ke janaze ke liye pehle se hi dress silva kar rakhni padegi. Meri azaadi ke dinn nazdeek aa rahe hai.” She kept on rambling inside her head.

(I'll have ready a dress for Dadi's funeral already. My days of freedom are coming closer.)

All of a sudden, Alamgeer stood up from his chair, “Mera pet bhar gaya. Mai apne kamre mein jaa raha hoon.” Saying so he left before anyone could stop him.

(My stomach is full. I'm going to my bedroom.)

“Woh tumhara nahi mera kamra hai, mere namesake shauhar.” Parisa thought to herself. She was crying from inside.

(That is not yours but my bedroom, my namesake husband.)

Soon Dadi Jaan and Akbar too left the dining table. Now it was only Parisa and Mashal.

“Ammi, biryani toh khatam ho gayi. Kaise bhukkhad khandan mein hamari shadi hui hai.”

(Ammi, biryani is finished. We are married into such a foodie family.)

“Maine pehle hi kuch hissa alag se rakh liya tha. Abhi lekar aati hoon.” Mashal smiled and went to the kitchen to bring some extra biryani.

(I had already put a small portion separately. I'll bring it right now.)

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Parisa was full till her neck when she entered her bedroom. Only to realise that now she was supposed to share her personal space with her namesake shauhar.

Alamgeer was reading a book while sitting on the couch when he saw her entering the room.

Parisa immediately opened the cupboard and pulled out a soft mattress and quilt. She spread it on the floor.

“Parisa, I understand that we are still strangers to each other. Lekin tumhe zameen par sone ki koi zarurat nahi hai. Mai apni hadh jaanta hoon.” Alamgeer started only to get interrupted by her.

(Parisa, I understand we are still strangers to each other. But you don't need to sleep on the floor. I know my limits.)

“Arrey, yeh mere liye nahi, aapke liye hai. Mai naazuk si ladki zameen par kaise so paungi. Aap toh itne hatte-katte down to earth pehalwan hai, zameen par adjust kar li lenge.” She smiled, leaving no room for refusal.

(Oh, this is not for me, but for you. How a tender girl like me sleep on the floor. You are such a fit, down to earth body builder, you will adjust on the floor.)

Alamgeer was flabbergasted. She was way more clever than she was eight years ago.

“Can I get a pillow?”

Because he could ask nothing more than that.

Ab yeh toh bachpan ki shaadi ke nuksanaat hai.

“Sure!” Parisa jumped on her bed and threw a spare pillow in his direction.

Alamgeer caught the pillow and in a very confused state lied down on the mattress.

“Good night, Alamgeer,” She said chirpily.

“Good night... Parisa,”  At that moment, Alamgeer was relieved that he never got a chance to fall in love with her. Or his life would have been that of a donkey.

#NamesakeShauhar