CH 13: Come Home, Please

Gulf had been trying to talk to Mew but it only made Mew move further backwards. Mew wanted to run away from Gulf but whichever direction he chose, it was a dead end. So, he chose to keep himself hidden in this maze of their situation. He could only dodge Gulf, but he'd come back to him. He didn't want to involve March and Fon. He was sorry that he could no more fulfil the promise of taking care of Gulf to Fon. He had to think of his mental health too. Though, that thing was devastated already.

Mew was living at his parents' house since the incident, alone. His friends would come to check on him every day for the whole week. But Mew didn't want to face them as they were also forcing him to go to his so-called husband. Mew wanted to go to him too. He wanted to run back to Gulf so bad. But he thought that Gulf already has someone else and Mew didn't want to be the third wheel. He was missing Gulf's embrace so bad. But he didn't know how to talk to Gulf.

The best thing he could do according to himself was to cry. His eyes would pour water out of them the moment he stepped into the house. He couldn't eat properly. He was no better than dead on the insides. Every time his phone buzzed with notifications, he got afraid. He was afraid to see Gulf's calls and messages. He was afraid that if he read those messages, he would run right back to Gulf. And running back in that embrace would only hurt him because for him... Gulf didn't love him anymore. He was afraid to lose even the broken pieces of his heart.

Whatever Mew did, he was reminded of Gulf. Every morning he came to the kitchen, the emptiness of the house reminded him that Gulf is not there with him. That Gulf isn't here to make breakfast for them both. Going to work, he had to drive by himself. Gulf wasn't there to drag him along. When he reached his desk, there would only be files. There were no more flowers waiting for him. Gulf wasn't there to accompany him for lunch. Gulf wasn't there to flirt with him like a teenage boy in his first relationship. All he heard was work-related words or pleadings from Gulf. But he didn't want to hear those.

When he was back from work, he stood alone in the empty premises. Gulf wasn't there to offer him a head massage. Gulf wasn't there for the two to talk about everything and anything in the world. He sat on the dining table alone. He didn't have Gulf to tell him 'I love you' ten thousand times a day. When he went to bed, he didn't have Gulf to wish him sweet dreams by blowing a kiss at him and peek at him through the door until he fell asleep.

On the weekend, Gulf wasn't sitting in the living room with a stupid smile plastered on his face. Gulf wasn't there to listen to the tales of his mother that Mew had never shared with anybody else. Gulf wasn't there to offer him a cup of hot chocolate when he returned from his mom's grave. Gulf wasn't there to wait for him. Gulf wasn't there to welcome him back home. Gulf in his idea was busy with someone else now.

And a whole week had passed just like this. It was another Monday. Mew was standing in Gulf's cabin, listening to his orders. Wan had to take a day off today for some personal reason, was what Mew thought. It was actually Gulf who had planned this whole day with the two friends Mew had. Once they were done with their discussion, Mew was about to leave the room.

"Mew," Gulf called in a soft voice. Mew stopped in his tracks, "Anything else, sir?" He didn't want to stay there longer. Mew knew that Gulf was going to start that topic again. "Come home, please," Gulf was begging. "I don't want to go there. Plus I already will be going back to my home," Mew said, gritting his teeth. He wasn't gritting them out of anger, but because he was suppressing his tears. It was a home he wanted to return to badly but wasn't sure if it was still his. "Please stop this drama," Gulf pleaded. Mew scoffed unwillingly, "I'm sorry but this drama started because of you. You were the one who brought a girl there. Not me."

Gulf had to play his master card to bring Mew home. He didn't know that he would need it so soon. Gulf took a sharp breath, "Then just come for tonight... can you?" Mew turned to him, "Why should I be there. Even just for tonight?" Mew's words were hurting both the men but none of them wanted to show it. "Mom and dad are coming for dinner," Gulf announced. Mew lost this game. He accepted defeat. He had to go there now. He didn't want to disturb those two old souls with his and Gulf's conflict. "What time will they come?" Mew asked.

Gulf was quick to answer, "By seven. Then can you get there by six?" Thought they would come by eight or nine, but Gulf had to talk with Mew. Mew just nodded and left the room. Gulf smiled a little as the first step was a success. This was the first time he smiled after he saw Mew walking away. Now all he had to do was to wait for Mew to get home. And there, he would tell Mew whatever happened. Mew won't be able to leave because Fon will be coming and they can't afford to worry her. And then maybe he could talk to Mew a little more after they left and clear things up. Gulf could also find out what Mew's feelings had changed to now.

***GULF'S BUNGALOW***

Gulf was eagerly waiting for Mew to return. He had left early today. He was planning to make the dinner himself. He was standing in the kitchen, chopping some vegetables for the soup. "I just hope that Mew will listen to me," Gulf wished for the best. A moment later, the bell rang. It was Mew, he didn't have his keys on him. Mew didn't even remember where he threw them in his house.

"You're here!" Gulf greeted. Mew just nodded. Mew was suppressing his blushing cheeks. Gulf's cheery tone was something he was longing to hear for so long now. Mew looked to the floor immediately when he felt his face heating up. Too late, Gulf had already caught a glimpse of it.

"I'll be at the dining table," Mew said. He didn't want to go to the living room as it would remind him of that thing. Mew was already trying hard to forget about it but he couldn't. That scene was haunting him and he could do nothing about it. Mew was sitting at the dining table and he could see Gulf cooking from there. The silence between them had never been more discomforting.

Mew got up and walked to Gulf, facing his back. "I think we need to talk," Mew said, still looking everywhere but Gulf. Gulf turned the flame under the soup off and turned to face Mew. "Yes we do," Gulf said. There was this intimidating determination in his voice. "Let me clear about the other day first," Gulf asked permission to start the topic. Mew nodded, asking him to speak. "I only see Puifai as a little sister. Nothing more than that. That day she came to talk to me about you" Gulf stopped to see Mew's face.

Mew was blank like it didn't mean anything to him. But his eyes were screaming in fear and hurt. Gulf couldn't see it because Mew won't let his eyes linger anywhere near Gulf. Gulf continued, "I met her when I was away, we became quick friends and I told her about you rejecting me. Even that day, she was stopping me from cry when you came. There's nothing going on between me an-" this time Mew cut his words. "I understand, I was giving you a hard time anyways and you started liking her," Mew shut his eyes as tight as he could. He couldn't let Gulf see those tears of his.

"It's actually good that you love someone else. Wasn't that what I wanted from the beginning?" Mew's voice was breaking. Gulf's eyes were wide in shock and hurt. How could Mew say that? How was Gulf loving anybody but Mew such an easy subject to talk on? How could Mew out of everyone say such things to him? Gulf's eyes started to form tears too. His voice not more than muffles, "What are you saying?!" Mew finally opened his eyes, the dams were let loose. But Gulf's vision was already too blurry to see this change.

"It's your choice to love whomever you love. It's not my concern," Mew's words were all broken. And those only made both their already hurting hearts hurt more. Gulf had already covered his ears. He didn't want to listen to such words. Mew spoke again, "I get it. You love her now. You're only coping with me because we're still married. Yo-u can give me a divorce whenever you want," and with this Mew saw Gulf collapse to the floor.

"No! you didn't say that!" Gulf said. His hands were clutching his ears, trying to prevent all those words from entering his systems but they did. Gulf wanted to wake up right now if this was a dream. He wanted to see Mew sleeping beside him. He didn't want those words to be the reality. He wanted to wake up in the time before he went for that vacation. He wanted to wake up and face a Mew on his periods whom he is holding close to himself. He wanted to hug his Mew. He could not believe that Mew could talk about him loving someone else so casually. But to his bad luck, this was the reality. The reality and not a nightmare that he wished for this to be.

Gulf's eyes were not open. He didn't know if he should open them or keep them shut. What he missed because of his shut eyes was... Mew losing his body balance too. Mew couldn't believe that he was saying all this. Mew felt all his power drain away the moment he saw Gulf fall to the floor. He couldn't keep on standing anymore. He fell to his knees. Mew was looking into the air, aimlessly. Drowned in the void. "I- I ge- et it. I kn- ow, i- it is my fau- ult. I wa- as the one wh-ho was late" Mew said. His words were all broken.

Mew held his heart tightly again. It was pumping loudly. His face was already red from controlling his cries. He finally wailed. It was loud. Gulf wanted Mew to look in his eyes and tell him if he really wanted to leave Gulf that bad. Gulf wanted to know what was Mew late for. He wanted to yell at Mew, "I can never love anyone if it's not you!". But he didn't have the strength left. He wanted to ask Mew why did he hate him so much. He wanted to ask Mew why did he like torturing Gulf so much. He wanted to know why can't Mew just love him. He was not asking for a lot, all he wanted was to be loved back. He wanted to know just who hurt Mew to the extent that he doesn't want to open his heart to anyone. He wanted to ask Mew if his efforts in courting him meant nothing to him.

No one else other than this man, Mew Suppasit, could make the ICE CUBE, Gulf Kanawut, the man who is said not to have feelings, this vulnerable. Gulf was on the ground. He was begging for whatever he was hearing to be a joke, a big fat lie. He could endure these words from anyone's mouth but not when it was Mew.

Gulf moved towards Mew and tried gripping his shoulders. Mew didn't know what this would lead to. He didn't know if he wanted to talk further. He was afraid that Gulf being this close to him would lead to just more pain in his heart. He was afraid that they will only quarrel worse. He didn't want to quarrel. Not with Gulf. It was like Mew's arms had a mind of their own and they pushed Gulf away from him.

Gulf's back hit the kitchen cupboards and he groaned lowly in pain. Mew's brain snapped to focus on Gulf. He moved to him. Gulf was confused by Mew's actions. He didn't understand just what did Mew want from him. "I'm sorry," Mew cried as he neared Gulf. Gulf was just looking at him, lost. "I did-dn't mea-an to hu-urt yo-ou," Mew said as he clutched his hands to Gulf's t-shirt sleeve. Mew cried worse. Why do I always end up hurting him!? Mew thought.

To be continued...

______________________________________________________

I'm a bad person, ain't I?

Please vote and comment.

- Wan<3