Chapter 26

Everything changed as days became weeks and weeks became months. I remembered a quote I read long ago, "Change is the only thing that doesn't change."

But only God knows how much I hated the changes in Abhi, and how much I struggled to keep things the same.

Something inside me kept telling me that if I didn't change then maybe...just maybe, Abhi will stay the same too.

I must have been insane to think like that, but love does all kinds of things to people, right?

From the day we confessed our love to each other, I started to see some changes in Abhi's behavior.

At first, I loved those changes. I thought that was how it worked when you were in love. But after some time, I was overwhelmed by them. Even so, my love for him never wavered.

He started being touchy all the time, even in public. If I tried to take his hands away or do something to avoid that, he got upset.

I tried to reason with him, saying that people were watching, but my words fell on deaf ears. He didn't care, and I didn't want him to be upset, so I went along with it.

He started getting possessive. It felt good for a while. He made me feel like he wanted me all to himself. But it started getting worse.

He started getting angry if I talked to the boys in my class, even if solely for academic purposes.

If I said that I didn't like him talking to others, he always had reasons to make me shut up. But more than that, I trusted him and didn't mind him talking to other girls

Once, his male friend smiled at me while Abhi was talking to him. I smiled back.

I knew he was just doing it as a polite gesture to his friend's girlfriend. But you have no idea what I went through after that.

"Why did you smile at him?" he asked, glaring at me.

"He smiled and I just smiled back," I said in a low tone because I already knew that I did something wrong and made him angry.

"If you like him, then go and sleep with him. Why the hell are you hanging around with me?" he said with venom in his voice.

I started crying, not at what he said, but because I made him angry. I knew what would happen next. He would leave me and then not talk to me until he forgave me.

I didn't know how long that would take, because the last time I made him angry it took a month for him to come back to me.

I started begging in every way possible. I cried every night. I didn't sleep or eat properly. He even said, "Let's break up" through a text.

I was devastated, but do you know what the sad part is? I didn't mind the things he said to me. All I could think was how to get back to him.

I was more hurt at him for not talking to me than for his lack of trust or those harsh words. I would be dead if not for Niki.

Even after everything that happened, she didn't say anything. She just tried to make me eat, but I knew by her looks that she was holding back her opinions.

But did I care? No. I just wanted my Abhi back.

He came back to me after a week. We reconciled. He said he missed me, and he was jealous because he loved me so much and apologized for what he said.

And that was it... All was forgiven and forgotten. I was so happy to have him back

Since that incident, I even lowered my head and looked at the floor whenever I was in a male's presence. No matter who it was.

I didn't know how unlucky I was at that time. My happiness never lasted. It only got worse day by day. He started stalking me.

I didn't know how he did that, but he always knew what I was doing. So I tried to be honest with him all the time.

Once I avoided a boy who tried to ask me the way to class. I felt bad but I knew that Abhi was watching me.

As I expected, he found out about it and as a reward, we went on a date. The same place where he confessed. He was playing with the waves and smiled at me.

We talked and ate together. And that is when I thought, I would do anything and endure anything for this... To make him happy.

So I thought, all I have to do is make him happy. Maybe I was in the wrong. I tried to please him more and more.

I started doing things just to have ten minutes of pleasant time with him because lately, all we did was fight.

The more I gave him, the more he demanded. It started getting harder for me to please him.

But my only goal was to make him happy, no matter what, and to make him stay with me. I didn't want him to leave me. I was obsessed and grew dependent.

I was blind to everything else in the world, and all I could think about was Abhi, Abhi, Abhi...

I never once thought if it was worth it. I never doubted us. I believed no matter how many times he said to break up, that he would come back to me.

Nothing changed the way I felt about him. Even after months of fights, I felt butterflies in my stomach when I saw his name on my phone's caller ID.

He stole my breath away with his laugh. I craved his presence rather than his touch. His voice made me sleep contentedly every night.

Every time I thought about him, I only remembered the times we laughed together...only the good times.

But that all changed after one night. That night changed my perspective of the relationship.

Unfortunately, it didn't change my feelings for him. And I hated myself for not hating him.

It was New Year's Eve. There were fireworks and a party on the beach that we used to go to. We decided to spend our time there, watching fireworks in a boat out to sea.

It was the most romantic and exciting thing we had done. The night was so dreamy. We ate together. He was so sweet all night.

It was late, so we decided to stay there. We went to a nearby resort. I was watching all the people who were partying in that resort while Abhi was booking our room.

He only booked one room, and I didn't mind. I thought I would just take the couch or the floor.

When we reached the room, I went in first, letting him close the door. I just started to look around the room. I didn't realize he was standing behind me.

Suddenly I was pushed against the wall. I hit my head pretty hard wall since I didn't expect it.

"Oh my God, I am sorry, Aadhi. Are you alright?" he asked, rubbing my head vigorously to prevent a bump from forming.

I started laughing. It wasn't that painful, and I know why he pushed me. "I am okay," I said, stopping his hand.

"Are you sure?" he asked, looking me straight in the eyes. Those words held a lot of meaning concerning the situation right now.

I didn't say anything, but I knew I would do anything he asked of me.

He must have seen the assurance in my eyes. He slowly lowered his head and this time I raised my head to meet him.

His hands were on my waist and mine were on his head, grabbing his hair. We didn't know how long we kissed, standing like that. I pulled away for air, breathing hard.

His breathing was rapid too. He rested his forehead on mine. I bit my lip in anticipation.

He started kissing me again but this time his hands went lower and lower. He pulled my top upwards and now his cold hands were on my hot body. I was conscious of his touch on my skin.

It was welcoming and at the same time, something inside me wanted to stop him, as I knew what would happen next.

His hands went higher and higher. My breathing rate increased as if I were running a marathon. My heart was pounding and I was feeling oddly anxious.

His hands unhooked my innerwear and started moving slowly to the front. I gritted my teeth and shut my eyes harder to welcome what was to come.

At that moment, I didn't care how I felt about all of this. I just wanted him to be happy. I didn't want to end this day by making him upset.

You can do this, Aadhi... You can do this...

But the very next second, my hands involuntarily went up and stopped his.

I slowly opened my eyes to find him looking at me, confused. And I hesitated for a moment. I think he misunderstood that and tried to continue.

This time I pushed him hard and put some distance between us. Immediately I realized what I did and what would happen next. Tears started falling from my eyes as I anticipated the worst.

Regardless, I said what I wanted to say.

"I don't want to do this now. I am really sorry," I apologized, sobbing. I knew this was the right thing to do, but I also felt guilty for not giving him what he wanted.

He stood in silence, with a look on his face as if he was debating what to do next.

I was now ready to allow him to do anything he wanted with me because I was afraid that he would leave me.

Making up my mind, I took a step toward him, but I was surprised to hear what he said.

"It's okay," he said slowly, a smile forming on his lips.

He was disappointed but he was also thinking about me. But I was still expecting the bomb to explode.

"It's okay. It's my fault. I shouldn't have done that without knowing how you feel about it. I am really sorry."

He apologized, but I was still waiting...waiting for the ticking time bomb.

He must have understood what I was thinking, since he came to me, grabbed my hand gently, and guided me to the bed.

I was expecting something else to happen, but he made me lie on the bed and then stood beside it.

Why is he not doing anything?

"Can I join you or do you want me to take the couch?" he asked me gently.

I was touched. I smiled and gestured for him to sleep beside me by patting him on the other side of the bed.

He smiled and went to switch off the lights before he climbed in.

We both turned to opposite sides. I could still feel the tension between us. I knew he was upset even though he was trying to be nice about it. Maybe I just had to give him some time.

"Aadhi." I heard him whisper my name.

"Huh?" I asked, turning to face him. I couldn't see him clearly in the dark, though.

"Can I hug you at least?" he asked innocently.

That made me chuckle, but I was careful not to let him know.

I moved toward him, making our bodies touch to show that it was okay. I could tell that he was smiling even if I couldn't see him.

I turned so that my back touched his chest. I adjusted my hair so that it wouldn't bother him. He slid his hand around my waist, spooning me.

I felt his breath on my nape and snuggled toward him to feel his warmth.

"Goodnight, Aadhi," he said, kissing my nape.

"Goodnight," I said, smiling.

We said our goodnights, but we never slept that night. We talked and talked until the sunrise. It was the best night of my life, and I didn't want it to end.

I wanted my life with Abhi to be like this... Happy, serene, content and filled with lots and lots of love.

Little did I know that this was my last, happiest night with him.