Chapter 12

ABHI

I was driving to her house with lots of thoughts in my mind. How to start? What to tell? I didn't know what was going to happen there.

I expected her to yell at me and shut the door in my face. No... She wouldn't do it in front of her parents, would she?

My mind was thinking about all the things that could go wrong but one thing I was sure of... I wanted to see her, at least for a second. That thought was so strong that it overcame my fear.

So I drove with one thought in my mind...I need to see her.

Upon reaching her home, I immediately rang the doorbell. I was nervous. I was expecting Aadhi to open the door. I heard the door unlocking.

My heartbeat raced, but unfortunately, it was Aadhi's cousin standing in front of me.

My eyes searched for her inside. I had no idea what her cousin was saying.

I guess she was inviting me in, but all I noticed were footsteps coming down from the stairs and a pair of eyes looking at me, surprised.

I held her gaze for a moment. I couldn't get enough of looking at her even though I was looking at her all the time.

Suddenly I had this urge to go and hug her and kiss her...

What the hell? Kiss her? Where in the hell was that thought coming from?

Her parents came and greeted me. Her Mom was asking something and I was answering her in a daze.

Even though I was answering them, I had no idea who was asking what because my eyes were not accepting my brain's command to avert my gaze from her.

All the while she was smiling at me from time to time, but I knew it was a fake one to convince her parents about us.

They asked me to stay the night and after that long conversation, her Mom asked me to freshen up in her room. Thank God, finally...

"Aadhi, will you please show me your room?" I asked her as innocently as possible.

"Um... It's upstairs... First one on the left," she told me, not wanting to come with me.

"I think it's better if you come with me so that I won't get lost," I said, smirking. I wasn't letting her go that easily.

Glaring at me, she said, "Okay," and started walking toward her room.

When we reached her room's doorstep, she showed me in and tried to turn around and leave, but I pulled her hand and pushed her inside the room, locking the door from inside.

She was shocked, but I wasn't going anywhere or doing anything without talking to her. I was angry at her. She was trying to avoid me even now.

She was not even looking at me. Was what I did so unforgivable? If it was her, I would have hugged her the minute she was yelling and asked her what was wrong.

But there she was, standing, not even looking me in the eyes while all I wanted to do was talk.

I could see that she was frightened. I didn't want her to be afraid of me.

Oh God, why can't I do a single thing right when it comes to her?

The thought that I was frightening her calmed me down. I wanted to get close to her, not further away.

I want her to see me differently. So I couldn't show my anger to her. Ever. It was better to hold my anger inside than to live without her.

"I just wanted to talk to you, okay? I won't do anything like that...ever," I said calmly, trying to convince her.

She just nodded okay.

"Won't you ask what it is about?" I asked her.

She didn't say anything. She just looked at me questioningly.

"Okay, fine. I will get to the point. I am sorry. I am sorry for what happened that day," I admitted.

She looked surprised, but I didn't know why. Did she think that I was a monster who wouldn't even apologize for his wrongdoing?

I continued to confess, "I don't know why but I keep showing you my bad side. I don't know why I am getting angry around you. I mean I know, but...let's talk that about later."

Oh God, I am blabbering nonsense.

"For now, I just want to apologize for everything I did to hurt you. I was not behaving like a good husband and I was not being a good friend.

I don't know what to say to convince you, but for the past two days, I have been going crazy. All I could think about was the hurt in your eyes.

So I wanted to clear up this misunderstanding between us. I will never hurt you again in my life, Aadhi. I promise. Can we be friends again?"

I finished my confession and waited for her to say something.

After a minute of deep thought, she replied in a choked tone, "Please don't do anything like that in front of my parents.

You can hurt me in any way when we leave for your home." With tears in her eyes, she left me alone in the room.

That hurt. But I deserved it. Rome was not built in one day. So I resolved to keep trying to win her forgiveness.

Thinking that I decided to freshen up, but on the way to the bathroom, I saw a fancy book on her bed. I took the book, wondering what she was reading, and opened it.

It was a random page, and everything written was in her handwriting and the first line said "I love Abhi. I love him so much."

That's it. I closed it. I knew it was her journal, and reading another person's journal was wrong, so I closed it and left it where it was. But I can't stop thinking about the name Abhi.

Was it me? No way! Then who? I can't ask her. Even if I ask her, she does not trust me enough to tell me.

With that nagging thought in my mind, I went downstairs and heard her cousin tease her about a 'quickie'. She was yelling in embarrassment.

I entered the room and pretended not to hear anything, but I couldn't control my smile.

She looked at me, not knowing what to say, when I asked, "How could who think like what?" She was so cute when she was embarrassed.

I wanted to tease her a little, but her reaction was priceless. Unfortunately, her other cousin came to her rescue.

At dinner, everyone asked me many questions. I answered them as patiently as possible. I was watching Aadhi. She was so quiet and thinking about something.

After dinner, when everyone decided where to sleep, she said some things she didn't mean to and embarrassed herself again.

But I liked it when she said, "I am sleeping with him daily." Even though that was not what she meant.

Seeing her embarrass herself again, all three of us burst out into laughter.

She tried to go to her room angrily, but her cousin invited her to watch a movie and she wanted me to join them.

I was not a movie person but anyway, I agreed to spend some more time with Aadhi.

But I think fate was conspiring against me when it comes to Aadhi. While we were watching the movie, her cousin got awkwardly close to me.

I tried to evade her by getting closer to Aadhi, but she was not getting the hint. I was afraid of what would happen if Aadhi saw me like this.

It would be like pouring gasoline onto the fire. But I couldn't keep up like this so I signaled Aadhi about what was happening.

She got angry with her cousin, and she knew it was not my fault. I didn't want to witness their fight, so I told them I would go to bed.

When I went to her room, that journal got my attention again. I tried not to think about reading it, but I couldn't hold back. It kept nagging me inside.

So I decided to read it and then tell Aadhi about it in the morning. She was angry with me anyway. But before I could open it, I received a text.

Aadhi

I am sorry for what Sia did. She was just teasing you. Please don't take it wrongly. She is not that type of girl

Abhi

It's okay babe.

Babe? Oh my God... I should turn off the auto-correction on my phone.

Abhi

Sorry typo. I meant to say It's okay Aadhi.

I got no reply from her. So I sent another one to ease the mood.

Abhi

I didn't take that wrong. I think she is just a naughty girl. 😉

Aadhi

Thank you. You are so nice to think of her like that. Good night.

Abhi

Goodnight Aadhi. ❤️

I was smiling in between our texts.She is thinking of me as a nice person. But what will she think that I read her journal?

But the urge to know more about her was so powerful. I gave in and started reading.

When I finished reading her journal, I couldn't stop tears from flowing. I couldn't bear the pain that she was carrying.

I didn't know how she was laughing and living this life with all the pain inside. It must have been killing her inside. Now I know how strong she is.

Her writing was so expressive that I could feel what she felt.

She was in pain and no one was there for her when she needed them, so she hid from the world so that no one could see her as weak.

I wished I was with her when that son of a bitch hurt her. That bastard was selfish, manipulative, and sadistic. He used her love for his benefit.

She was so selfless that she didn't understand love requires selflessness from both parties.

He was just comfortable and loved being taken care of by her, so he stayed with her all those years.

Even though she understood all of it, her love for him clouded her judgment.

After everything she did, that bastard left her heartbroken without even having the courtesy to break up with her. She found out that she lost him the hard way.

I wanted to kill him myself if I saw him in the future. I had a feeling that we would meet.

Until then, I wanted to show her what love is. I wanted to show her that she cannot always give, sometimes she needs to get some. I wanted to show her that no man could love her like me.

Yes... I LOVE HER and I am going to make her mine no matter what.

Maybe I was not there when she was in pain, but I can make sure that she won't get hurt in the future.

I will break all the walls that she built around her heart, and I will make it mine.

For her to open up to me, I should open up to her too. So I decided that the next day, I would tell her my secret that no one knew...not even Nija and Harsha.