My Ex’s Roommates: Chapter 55

Dylan slowly pulled himself up and I saw his knuckles were swollen and bloody. His eyes followed my gaze as I gasped. When he looked back at me, I took a step back at the raw anger and pain I saw on his face. Looking away from me, he blew out a hard breath. “They won’t bother you again.”

I wrapped my arms around my waist and frowned. “Will you get in trouble?”

“No.” He let out a bitter laugh. “Carter’s family donates too much money to the school for that.”

I nodded like I understood and it all made perfect sense. “I didn’t want to put Casey in danger. By staying with her, I mean. After this morning…I just think it would be best if I stayed here.”

Dylan took a step closer. “I need to tell you something, Harper.”

My stomach clenched. “I don’t… You don’t need to tell me anything. This, the relationship, is over and we’re just…roommates.”

“It was me.” He took another step closer but froze when I took a step back and bumped into the closet door. “After the game, we were in the locker room and I… I don’t know what was wrong with me. I lost my mind for a second and I wanted to show Jake just how severely he’d lost. I opened a message and attached the photo but decided not to send it. I knew it was a stupid fucking idea. I put my phone away but it accidentally hit send in my back pocket. I didn’t even know I did it until the email went out.”

I held up my hands and shook my head. “Stop.”

“No. I need you to hear this.” He closed the gap between us and cupped my face. “I am so fucking sorry, Harper. I know it doesn’t make a difference but I wasn’t going to send it.”

“I heard you in the locker room. You were bragging about taking Jake’s woman. Is that what I am? Jake’s woman?” My stomach twisted in knots as I watched him blink away tears. “Dylan, if I meant anything to you, why would you have ever thought about sending that picture to Jake? I told you. I told you that it would ruin me. You agreed! Even if sending it was an accident, you wanted to.”

He shifted his hands into my hair and held me tight. “You’re not Jake’s woman. You’re ours. You’re mine. I’m sorry, Harper. Fuck, I’m so sorry. This morning was my fault. Those assholes never would’ve assaulted you like that if I hadn’t sent that photo. I… I got carried away in the game. I shouldn’t have said that in the locker room and it never should’ve crossed my mind to send anything to Jake. As much as it kills me to say this, I understand if you hate me and want nothing to do with me. I fucked up. I hurt you and I’ll never forgive myself. Silas and Carter didn’t do it, though. It was me. They miss you and they’re worried about you.”

His hands were so tight in my hair that it stung but I welcomed it. Anything was better than the pain radiating through my veins. “I kind of knew Jake was an asshole all along. I didn’t want to admit it, but I knew. What he did hurt me but when I got past the shame of being publicly humiliated, it was fine. Jake was just continuing to be who he’d always really been, an asshole.

“But this… God, it hurts so much worse. You made me think you cared about me. Everything you did made me feel special. You can say whatever you want about why you wanted to send that picture, Dylan, but I don’t think I’ll ever believe you really cared about me. Not if you could even think about sending that picture. I don’t know what I was to you but I wasn’t someone you cared about.” I sucked in a shaky breath.

Leaning down, he pressed his forehead to mine and then kissed it before pulling away. “Silas and Carter?”

I looked down at my feet. “The three of you are a package deal to me. Without you there would always be something missing. It’s over. I want to stay here for a while, if that’s okay. I don’t think I’d feel safe anywhere else right now.”

“This is your home, Harper. You’ll always have a place here and we’ll always keep you safe. I won’t try to convince you of anything right now, but I care about you more than you know. We all do.” He opened the door and hesitated.

I watched as one second after another ticked by before Dylan shoved away from the door and came back over to me. I was already against the closet door so I just froze with nowhere to go.

He braced his hands on either side of my head, caging me in. “I hate myself enough right now that I would’ve let you go as penance but if you’re going to close Silas and Carter out if I’m not there, then I take it back. I’ll make it right somehow. Take your time believing whatever you want right now, Harper, but I’m going to show you that you’re wrong. I care about you.”

“You can’t-”

“Watch me.” Leaning down, he stole a hard kiss and then strode out of the room without looking back.

I flinched as the door slammed shut behind him and pressed my fingers to my mouth. I could still feel his warm lips on mine and it filled me with anger and anxiety. He couldn’t just kiss me like that. I said we were over. I needed the three of them to respect that because I didn’t know what I would do if they just kept coming with their sad eyes and warm mouths. I needed comfort so desperately that I didn’t trust myself not to take it from them if they offered.

I rushed to the door and flung it open. “You don’t get to do that to me anymore! You can’t ruin my life and think there’s still something between us! There’s not! You killed whatever it was! I’m only here because I’m terrified if I stayed with Casey, we’d both end up victims of some monster that picture incited. Just pretend like I’m not, though, and leave me alone. Don’t ever kiss me again!”

Dylan looked up at me from the bottom of the stairs, where he was standing with Carter, Silas, and several guys from the football team. He moved up a step, his eyes intense. “There’s a whole lot between us, Harper, and I’m definitely going to kiss you again.”

I let out a frustrated, and embarrassed, scream and slammed my bedroom door shut. I waited a second and then stepped out again. “And I swear to god, if any of you treat me differently on the field now, I’ll be forced to break a part of you that will never heal.”

Slamming my door shut again, I locked it and then rushed to climb into bed. I knew the anger was only going to last so long and then the crushing sadness would be back so I wanted to be ready to bury my face in my pillow so they didn’t hear me crying. It turned out I still had some pride left. Only when I laid down, the scent of Silas’ cologne hit me. He loved sleeping in my bed and his scent loved to cling to my pillows and sheets.

I couldn’t sleep with the smell of him wrapped around me. Standing up, I yanked all the bedding off my bed and dragged it over to the door so I could kick it out of the room. I wanted nothing to do with it.

Just like the first night after Jake pulled his shit I crawled onto a stripped bare mattress and cried myself to sleep.