29 | From the Ashes

JEN'S FINGERS NERVOUSLY FIDGETED WITH THE HANDLE OF HER COFFEE CUP. She knew she needed to hurry up and drink it – if she just stared at it any longer, it was going to get cold – but she already felt wired enough as it was. No college student should have been so alert at 8 a.m., but under the present circumstances, there was no way for her not to be.

Just one block away, Dad was in an all-too-familiar office building having what she assumed was a very heated exchange with her former boss, Victor Ambrose. About her mother. Who had apparently been sleeping with him.

Jen hated that they were here at all. She thought they ought to stay as far away from that terrible man as possible, but Dad wanted to try to get money out of him to help pay for Mom's medical bills. She could understand that, but the idea of them messing with a lawyer – and such a high-profile one at that – scared her too much. He'd know all the ins and outs to this sort of thing, the loopholes. She'd tried to explain this to her father, but he was relentless, so here they were.

She hadn't wanted to come into town with him today. No, she wished she could keep as far away from Victor Ambrose as possible for the rest of her life, and just the thought of being in the same room as him was enough to make her break into a sweat. Unfortunately for her, she didn't have a choice but to catch a ride with her dad into the city—she needed to drop some paperwork off at her school to get her classes switched over now that she couldn't go abroad this semester. The thought of her peers exploring Tuscany while she was here, puffy-eyed from crying herself to sleep each night, made her heart ache.

It was a terrible feeling to be furious with your family yet unable to leave them.

The shrill clattering of the doorbell announced that someone else had entered the cafe. By the time she happened to glance up a moment later, a blonde girl was already ordering at the counter.

Everything inside of Jen's ribcage seemed to tighten. She had seen this girl, who didn't appear to be significantly older than herself, before. The encounter, albeit brief and void of any actual interaction, was still unforgettable.

They'd brushed past each other at the hospital.

This was Victor's daughter.

And even if Jen hadn't seen her before, she would have known who she was looking at. She had the same facial structure and the same eyes as her father. And he'd kept pictures of her on his desk at work.

Please stay away, Jen thought as she quickly looked down. But not quickly enough. A look of faint recognition flashed over the girl's face and she, as if wanting to bring Jen's worst nightmares to life, hesitantly approached.

"Can I sit?" she asked shyly.

Jen, refusing to make direct eye contact, curtly nodded. It wouldn't be until much later that she realized how much of an issue it was that she didn't know how to say no to anyone.

The metal legs of the chair across from her scraped against the floor. "It's Jen, right?"

Another nod. Reluctantly, Jen forced herself to actually look at the girl. She had a pretty face – ambery brown eyes, arched eyebrows, and gloss-tinted lips all framed with a halo of gold hair.

"I'm Nora."

Nora. So that was her name.

Jen didn't quite know what to say. It wasn't like "nice to meet you" was applicable to this particular situation.

Nora, who must have seen her discomfort, picked up one of the two pastry bags she'd brought over with her, and the sound of the crinkling paper broke the silence between them. "...Do you want a croissant? I ordered two, but I've just remembered my father isn't actually a fan of them..."

She seemed to realize that she'd said the wrong thing. Just the mention of Victor was enough to twist Jen's insides into knots, but her stomach was on the verge of rumbling – she hadn't eaten breakfast yet – and Nora's attempt at cordiality came across as genuine enough, so she reluctantly accepted the pastry and nervously picked at it with her fingers.

Maybe she was supposed to feel a sense of kinship with this girl since they were the poor daughters stuck with dealing with the fallout of their parents sleeping around. Maybe Nora could offer Jen some insight and make her feel less miserable.

She quietly asked, "...How did you feel when you found out?"

Nora was fiddling with the edge of her pastry bag in a manner not unlike Jen's. "I guess dread might be the best word for it. I mean, I had kind of wondered."

Jen froze. "Wondered...?"

Nora shifted in her seat uncomfortably. "If my dad was...you know, seeing someone. I had my suspicions, but I'd hoped..."

Everything inside of Jen went cold, and she struggled now not to raise her voice. "Hold on—you mean you knew about this? And you never asked? You didn't try to do anything?"

Startled, Nora said, "No, I....how do you ask your own parent that? It's not as easy as you're making it sound."

Though she knew somewhere deep inside of her that Nora didn't mean any harm, Jen's eyes stung. "My mom is barely alive," she said in disbelief, scared that her voice was about to crack. "Anything would have been better than this. If you'll excuse me–"

She didn't wait for any sort of response. Jen pushed her chair back from the table and rushed outside as if she even had anywhere else to go, any place left that she wanted to call home.

As Jen got ready for her day at work, she couldn't help but wonder if it would be her last at this job.

After Robert drove her home the night before and kissed her goodnight, she'd slept horribly despite how tired she was. She was tossing and turning all night as she worried about her father, anxious that she'd get a call from someone at the hospital telling her that something was wrong. Relief didn't come until the nurses' station called first thing in the morning and told her that since he'd remained stable all night and his scans showed no signs of other injuries, they were discharging him to rest at home. But by then, she didn't have the option to rest—it was nearly time for her to get ready for work.

When she got to her desk, there were already two things waiting there for her. One was a sticky note, which in recognizable, looped handwriting said,

Meet me in my office at 8:30. -N.

Jen had expected that Nora would want to see her this morning, but her heart stumbled around in her chest nonetheless. The second item was a folded piece of paper, which she knew had to be from Robert. She picked it up as she sat down in her chair, then carefully unfolded it.

My dearest Jen,

No matter what happens today, we're going to be okay.

She took a deep breath as she read it over once, then twice, and a bittersweet feeling bloomed inside of her. He always knew what she needed to hear—she just hoped that he was right.

The minutes until 8:30 ticked by at the speed of hours, and yet Jen achieved a grand total of nothing during that time. Concentration was impossible. Her eyes kept flickering to the clock as if it would look any different than it did the last time she checked ten seconds ago, and as the time slowly trickled away, she felt her heart begin to beat faster and faster.

At 8:28, she stood up and attempted to compose herself, smoothing nonexistent wrinkles out of her shirt and, using the compact mirror that she kept in her purse, checking her reflection to make sure that she didn't look like someone who had hardly gotten any sleep.

She was knocking on Nora's door at 8:30 on the dot, neither a second too early nor too late. Her stomach lurched as she was beckoned inside, but she took a small breath and stepped through the doorway, the door falling shut behind her with a quiet click.

One never would have guessed from taking a look at Nora that the night prior had been so chaotic. As usual, she was primly put together, her makeup neatly applied and hair styled in loose waves as if she'd had plenty of time to leisurely do it this morning. But Jen supposed it was her job to always look the part of fearless leader no matter how much anything else was falling apart.

"We'll start once Robert gets here," she said in the same calm, slightly detached tone that one might have used with their coworkers when talking about the weather or how their weekend went.

A flurry of nervousness spluttered up in Jen as she nodded—she wasn't surprised to hear that Nora asked him to join this meeting, but they hadn't discussed a plan for this at all. Were they going to twist the truth and make themselves out to be as innocent as possible? Nora didn't have solid proof of anything, but she'd immediately know that they were lying if their stories didn't line up.

Lies always come out one way or another, she reminded herself yet again. But with only about a month of her contract with St. Catherine's left, the stakes were dropping lower and lower for her each day. Losing this job now would make her life difficult, but she'd survive it. For Robert, on the other hand...this job was his dream. She knew he wouldn't admit it out loud to her, but he'd be crushed if it was taken away from him. She needed to let him take the lead and do this his way.

She came to this conclusion right as the door cracked open. He stepped inside, looking as he always did, which of course meant an entirely different thing to Jen than it meant to anyone else. They probably looked at him and just saw an average man. But to her, those were the arms that held her steady, the eyes that squinted when he laughed and grew dark with desire when he was about to kiss her. The curls that she ran her fingers through, that got adorably stuck to his forehead when his hair got wet. The lips that murmured her name in awe, that called her his dearest.

And yet right now, he barely acknowledged her at all. His eyes were on Nora, regarding her with a sort of wary respect that Jen hadn't expected, and it struck her all over again that those two had a little bit of history as well. Nora was the one who gave him his chance to stay in this country after he graduated – who, by giving him this job, had handed him the keys to the life he'd been after for years. And now she might be the very one to turn him away from that thing he loved so much. All because of Jen.

She couldn't imagine how he must be feeling right now.

"You two should sit," Nora said.

They obliged, taking the two chairs that faced her desk. Jen clumsily folded her hands in her lap, nearly having reached over for Robert's out of sheer instinct.

"I can't say I've had to do this before," Nora admitted, now sounding ever-so-slightly flustered. Her face didn't give any emotion away, but Jen noticed that she was speaking more quietly now than usual.

Like she didn't want to be overheard.

"But for this to go as smoothly as possible for all of us, I need you two to cooperate with me." It was a demand, not a request.

Jen nodded, and out of her periphery, she saw Robert do the same.

"Just to make sure I'm understanding this correctly..." Nora started uncomfortably. The tension in the air was so thick that Jen could almost feel it closing in around her. "You two are...romantically involved?"

Jen parted her lips as if to speak, though she truly had no clue what words would have come out if she did. But she didn't get a chance—without hesitation, Robert had given a simple, "Yes."

She allowed her eyes to glance over to him and a lump formed in the bottom of her throat when she saw that he looked completely sure and steady. There was a twinge in her chest, her heart cracking at the realization that he'd rather put his career on the line than deny what he felt for her.

Nora's shoulders fell slightly, like she was wishing she'd read this all wrong so that they could avoid having the rest of this conversation.

"Okay," she sighed lightly, then clasped her hands and looked at Rob and Jen intently. "Here's what's going to happen. I'm not really supposed to allow this, but...Jen, you're only here for another month anyway, and the rules are vague enough that I can let it pass as long as you two don't do anything out of line here at work."

Jen blinked. She wasn't quite sure she'd heard that correctly. Was Nora just...letting them carry on?

"And you really, really better not do as much as look at each other the wrong way," she warned, sharpness edging its way into her tone. "Because if someone else notices and this goes to the school board, I can't lie on your behalf. I won't."

Robert, always more collected than his girlfriend was, politely nodded. "Understood."

It took much effort for Jen not to have any external reaction, to keep all of her emotions bottled up inside. Relief had crept up on her like an approaching storm while Nora was speaking and now she was blissfully, gloriously drowning in it. Her heart was still fluttering and she could have laughed or cried or both, but she forced herself to confine her joy inside of a very small smile.

"Good," Nora said, unclenching her hands and letting her shoulders relax. "Now can I speak with Jen for just a moment?"

She came crashing from cloud nine back down to Earth. Was there some extra caveat to all of this? Or did Nora want to talk about their parents? She supposed she owed it to her to hear her out, but trepidation prickled back up inside of her as Robert stepped out.

For a second, the room was so quiet they could have heard a pin drop. Nora's expression was unreadable.

"This is very out of character for me," she said straightforwardly.

"It's very out of character for me, too," Jen offered. She certainly wouldn't have made this colossal mess on purpose.

She caught Nora nearly crack a smile at that, the corners of her mouth quivering upwards for a fraction of a second.

"I once made your life a lot more difficult by turning a blind eye," she noted, her fingers toying with a golden charm necklace that Jen had never seen before. "So I'm trying my best to make it work in your favor this time. You have to work with me, though. Don't think that me knowing any of this changes how you can behave. Remember that Elliot holds nearly as much authority here as I do."

Jen, unable to help herself, disappointedly sighed. "Men."

"Keeping them in check never really works, does it?"

"No," Jen hummed in agreement. Then, as if needing to justify her actions, she shyly added, "Robert, though...as far as men go, he's a pretty good one."

"I would assume so, considering that you broke the rules for him." Nora sounded almost amused. "And he must see a lot in you if he broke the rules for you, too."

Jen wasn't used to this between them – it almost felt like chatting among friends – but she didn't dislike it. "Don't make it seem so far-fetched."

"I don't think it's far-fetched at all."

Finally, Jen allowed her lips to quirk up into a true smile, albeit a bit of a sheepish one. Her cheeks were definitely an embarrassing hue of pink. "Thank you. I, ah, I guess I better get back to my job now."

There was something of an amiable glint in Nora's eyes as she replied, "Perhaps."

As Jen got up and left the principal's office, she finally felt the peace she'd been craving settle over her heart and start to gently carve out a home inside of her. All the shards, all the broken pieces of her life were starting to find their way back together. Not all at once. But progress was coming. Slowly, surely. She'd sensed it at the hospital last night when she was talking with her dad, and now she was feeling it again. Slowly, surely.

For once, she felt no ill will towards Nora. She'd made mistakes, but she'd proven that wasn't the same kind of person as her father. It was almost humorous how life worked in such ironic ways sometimes—how when a father very painfully shut a door on a girl's dreams, his daughter opens the door for someone else's.

And eventually, those two people find their way to each other. Slowly, surely.

"Are you sure this is how you want to do this?"

Jen looked over at Robert. He was still in his work clothes – they both were – but his sleeves were now rolled up to his elbows, the warmth of his forearm brushing against hers as they walked hand-in-hand. His hair was adorably mussed by the afternoon breeze and if she looked closely enough, she could see a few freckles starting to show on his cheeks now that the days were getting warmer and sunnier. She was under the impression that everything was going incredibly well for them today, but she caught what might have been a hint of reluctance in his eyes.

"Of course I'm sure." She squeezed his hand, eyeing his expression. "You're not nervous, are you? It's not my parents—it's just Celie."

"I know, I know," he said bashfully. "But she's your best friend, isn't she?"

"Yes," Jen agreed. "And she's a fan of yours already. It took me ages to get her to shut up about wanting us to get together; she's going to be thrilled. Just don't forget about the plan."

"I won't forget about the plan," he promised with a smile slipping onto his lips. "You've only gone over it ten times."

She scowled at him before glancing at her watch to check the time. Celie would be getting off in five minutes. Perfect.

Jen let go of his hand they approached the sign that said Spill the Beans, but not before lifting it to her lips and pressing a swift, reassuring kiss on his knuckles. He left a generous amount of extra space between them when they opened the door and stepped inside, and she had confidence that they were achieving her aim of looking like just friends.

They went their separate ways for him to find them a place to sit while Jen approached the counter to order two teas. One of the newer baristas, a boy who very well might have still been in high school, was the one who took her order, but Celie had stepped in to help make drinks at the coffee bar and caught her eye. Jen waved (she would have winked, but she didn't know how to) and fished some change out of her purse to throw into the tip jar. She figured it was the least she could do since she was about to give Celie a heart attack.

Step 1: make sure she's watching was accomplished. On to step two.

After shoving her receipt into her purse, Jen looked up and saw that Robert had succeeded in snagging her favorite couch in the corner for them. Public displays of affection usually made her at least a little bit embarrassed, and yet she couldn't help but smirk a little bit as she settled herself right next to him, angling her body ever-so-slightly towards his.

"Arm on the back of the couch," she silently mouthed, and he obeyed her. He lifted his arm and she shifted even closer to him, pleased when she felt his fingertips slowly glide along the top of her shoulder before playfully straying to toy with the ends of her hair. It was a nice touch on his part, she thought.

"Is Celie watching?" she whispered—her back was now facing the counter.

His eyes briefly flickered over her shoulder. "Like a hawk."

"Good," Jen smiled, feeling delightfully mischievous in a way she rarely got to experience. "Now kiss me."

He softly placed a thumb under her chin, making her eyes meet his own. She expected him to murmur something sweet to her – something that would probably make her feel weak in the knees – but instead, his lips tilted into a wicked grin and he leaned in close to whisper something in her ear. Their bodies were nearly touching all over, his breath fluttering against her skin.

He had more dramatic flair in him than she'd realized. So much for being nervous.

"You're a little bit ridiculous, you know that?" he hummed.

"I know." Jen rested her hand on his arm, allowing her fingers to skim along the fabric of his shirt. "Does that bother you?"

"No," he breathed. "Not at all."

She curved her body into his as he pressed his lips against hers, packing as much punch as he could into what needed to be a short kiss (unless they wanted to get kicked out for public indecency, which they didn't). Even so, he still managed to embrace her with an endearing amount of softness, his lips surprisingly gentle against hers. She could feel them start to form a smile as she lifted her hand to his face, brushing her thumb along the contour of his cheekbone before she pulled back from him.

"And now we wait for..." Jen glanced at her watch. "Approximately ninety seconds."

It took all of her willpower not to look over her shoulder at Celie, but they needed to behave as though eliciting a reaction from her wasn't the entire purpose of their outing. She reached over to hold Robert's hand instead, admiring how nicely the two of them fit together. Even though it was a far from new revelation for her, it was one that would never get old.

And sure enough, Celie swarmed over right on cue under the highly unconvincing guise of delivering the teas that Jen had ordered. A kick of adrenaline hit Jen as she realized that she was finally about to tell the truth and that the truth felt so, so much better than a lie.

"Do you have a minute to join us?" she smiled. "I think it's about time I properly introduce you to my boyfriend."

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A/N:

Just one more chapter! Let me know if you have any predictions for the ending