Chapter 18

Nash

Early in the morning, Nash and Caiden sat on the workbench in the Elites gym, but neither of them worked out. They sat side by side, staring ahead of them because Nash had called Caiden and told him he needed to talk. After what happened with Chloe yesterday, he needed to get it all out because he feared he screwed up.

"So you kissed her," Caiden said, grinning as Nash flushed. "Congrats. You finally grew some balls."

Nash glared at Caiden so heatedly Caiden held his hands up in defense. "I'm joking, but I'm genuinely happy for you. You-"

"She said this was too much and ran away. I just kissed her, Caiden. I didn't even ask and she didn't kiss me back. What if I scared her off? What if I kissed her without consent."

Caiden frowned. "She ran off? Why? I... I was sure she reciprocated your feelings."

Nash stared down at the ground. He clasped his hands together, wringing them, debating on telling Caiden everything. He shouldn't. Chloe would probably be mad, but he was exhausted. The last few weeks had taken its toll on him and he needed to let it all out.

"Chloe's dad had a stroke last summer and he's been sick ever since. He can't work anymore and he can't move too much because he has trouble walking. And Chloe does everything for him. She cooks, cleans, takes care of him, and she also works a part time job to pay the bills. She has so much on her plate and she suffers through it on her own, and I've been trying to help her. Through small favours like giving her rides home and stuff, but she's been upset with me for it. She keeps refusing to let me be there for her and it's to the point where I've been angering her. So no, Caiden, she doesn't feel the same way as me. I was an idiot to kiss her given the last few weeks we've been through."

Nash ran his fingers through his hair, tugging at his waves in frustration. Why had he thought to kiss Chloe yesterday? Why in the middle of an argument. He sighed, knowing it was to prove he cared about her, but it had been such inappropriate timing. And she had run from him. Possibly out of his life for good.

"Oh wow, Chloe's been going through that on her own." Caiden's eyes widened. "I can't imagine handling any of that on my own at our age."

"Yeah, she's been through a lot. But she just wants to handle it on her own. All I've wanted to do is be there for her, whether or not she reciprocates my feelings, but she won't let anyone help her. She's set in keeping all this to herself."

"What about Sophia? Why don't we talk to her about this and see how we can help Chloe together."

"No, no we can't tell everyone about Chloe's home life. If we all try to help her, I'm sure she'll hate us. Especially me."

"I'm sure Sophia knows bit and pieces of Chloe's life." Caiden frowned. "But from the way you describe Chloe, she seems really stubborn and sensitive about it, isn't she? It's a touchy subject, so let's try to be there for her without being obvious. I really do think you should at least check in with Sophia."

Nash nodded. He couldn't do this on his own anymore. He had tried. He truly had, but Chloe had turned out to be too much like him - stubborn to a fault and that made them clash too much. Sophia had to be the best option to figure out how to handle all this.

"I shouldn't have kissed her," Nash confessed again, finding himself cringing at the memory. She hadn't kissed him back. It wasn't like the movies where he'd kiss her and she'd reciprocate, claiming she had loved him from the start like he had. Instead, it was humiliating and Nash wished to lay in bed all day, but he still worried bout Chloe. Whether or not she felt the same way, he would always care.

Caiden laughed. "Nash, you've been wanting to kiss her since you've met her. At least you finally got it out of your system."

"Well, in my imagination she would have reciprocated, so I regret getting it out of my system."

Caiden frowned. "It's strange... I always noticed that Chloe was drawn to you. Any other sane human would have been sick of you and your contests, but Chloe always welcomed them. She even looked forward to them and lately she seemed more nervous and shy around you. I thought... Well, I thought maybe her feelings were shifting and she might have felt the same way as you, but now I don't know. But it could be that with you finding out about her home life, she's been too worried about that to figure out how she feels about you. Maybe she just needs time."

Nash let out a heavy sigh. He wished Caiden was right, but he could tell Chloe felt nothing for him. She had looked so frightened after he kissed her that he wished to purge the memory from his mind.

"I don't know what to do now," Nash said. "Should I give Chloe space? Do I apologize?"

"I don't know, do you want to give Chloe space? Do you want to avoid her for now?"

"No." Nash's confidence in his answer surprised even himself. "I want to be there for her. In any way I can."

Caiden smiled gently. "Then be there for her. When you love someone, even if it's painful, being there for them is always worth it. Because at least you know that person is okay."

Nash smiled back. Caiden was right. He'd forget about his feelings. He'd forget about the kiss. Maybe not today, but eventually, he'd go back to Chloe and apologize, and start anew. And in any way he could, he'd be there for her.

*****

Chloe hadn't shown up to school. Her seat in Calculus had been empty and Nash hadn't seen her around the Elites building. And nervous, Nash waited outside the front doors in search of Sophia, who finally came out an hour after school ended.

"Sophia."

Sophia halted, seeming surprised Nash had called her. They'd rarely spoken - especially alone and Nash had been sure Sophia hated him at one point, but now they were in a weird in between state. Neither of them were necessarily friends, but they had each other's backs and they both loved Chloe. They seemed to have a mutual understanding that they both had her best interests in mind.

"Hey Nash, what's up?" Sophia asked, walking closer to him.

"Where's Chloe? She didn't come to school today."

"I... I'm not sure." Sophia frowned. "I texted her earlier today. She said she's fine, but couldn't come to school today."

Nash let out a sigh. He ran his fingers through his hair frustrated. He really had scared Chloe off.

"Did something happen?" Sophia's eyes widened. "Do you know something?"

"I..." Nash flushed. He couldn't tell Sophia about the kiss, but he'd tell her about everything else. "I found out about Chloe's home life. I don't know how much you know about it, but I've been trying to help her and just be there for her, but it's been annoying Chloe. And I think I went too far yesterday and now she's avoiding me. I don't know what to do."

"Oh... you know about the stroke?" Sophia's eyes softened. "Yeah, Chloe's a soldier. She's been through so much, but she continues to march on, on her own. I've tried to be there for her, but that girl is stubborn. She doesn't want to bother us, so she keeps it all to herself."

"But why? I want to help her. I'm sure we all do because we care about her. And I'm sure she would have helped us if we were in the same position."

"I don't know... I think Chloe is both ashamed of her position and also worried we'll hate her if she bothers us. She doesn't seem to understand that's impossible. That for her, we'd do anything."

Shame. Bother. Why did Chloe assume such negative possibilities. Normal people would be more than happy to share the burden with their loved ones, but Chloe expected them to hate her. She expected the worst. Maybe after what she'd been through it kind of made sense, but at the same time Nash still didn't understand.

"What should we do then?" Nash asked. "Do we give her space? Or be there for her? I don't know how to proceed."

"I think... both. We can't harass her into opening up. When she's ready, she will. But I don't think we should let her isolate herself... Chloe needs to be checked up on and we'll do that. We'll help in ways we can without overwhelming her."

Nash nodded. Sophia had always been insecure about her intelligence, but Nash was impressed. She was right. They didn't have to keep pushing for her to open up, but that didn't mean they couldn't be there for her at all. They could check up on her. Do small favours for her. And just be there for her as company. Nash had been so desperate to help her that he pushed too hard and regret washed over him. He had to apologize, but because of the kiss he didn't know how or when to.

"You know, I always thought you were a jerk and Chloe was too nice to you," Sophia said. "But you're ok... You clearly care about her and I guess you're not so bad."

"Um, thanks. I guess."

Sophia laughed and Nash smiled. He relaxed a bit, knowing Chloe had Sophia through it all.

"You really care about her, don't you?" Sophia asked, eyes softening. "You've never approached me before. I was worried you were about to start a fight, but all you wanted to do was make sure she was ok."

Nash blushed, embarrassed. His eyes drifted off and Sophia laughed again. "Yeah, I do care about her... I worry about her all the time, but you're right. We won't push her to open up, but we'll be there for her in the ways we can."

Sophia smiled. "Good. I know how annoying Chloe can be, but this is the best option to keep her both happy and make sure she'll be ok. I'll visit her later today. Just to check up and see if she needs anything. Ok?"

"Thank you. That would be great."

Sophia beamed and Nash smiled. He wondered why he spent the last year thinking of his fellow Elites as just rivals, when there was so much more to them. They were kind. Smart. Resilient. And they were starting to become his friends, too. Day after day, Nash had more and more people he cared about. It had been frightening at first, but lately, he wished for more people in his life. Because after Chloe, he realized not everyone would let him down like his parents had.

"Chloe is lucky to have you in her life," Nash said, turning to leave. "Take care of her, ok?"

"Of course. Take care, Nash."

Nash grinned. He waved to Sophia before taking off, feeling a bit lighter. He didn't know how Chloe felt about him after the kiss, but at least he knew he wasn't alone in helping her. And at the end of the day, that would be his priority.