Chapter 18

Ralph sneaked back into the dining-room when most of the guests were enjoying supper. He saw his mother seated at a table, talking to Lord and Lady Hepworth. The last thing Ralph wanted to do was join them. His mother would just continually hint that Miss Hepworth would make him the perfect wife. However, it seemed rude and churlish to avoid them all evening. What could they possibly do to force him into a marriage at the supper table?

'Ralph, there you are,' his mother had said when he eventually reached her table.

When he had sat down, he then had to endure the painfully dull conversation. His mother was in the process of giving Lord Hepworth a history of all his ancestors. 'We can trace our line all the way back to the Conqueror,' she had said proudly.

Lord Hepworth seemed to be very impressed by this fact and had encouraged Lady Huntingdon to continue to tell him about the Fallbrook family history. While his mother was talking to Lord and Lady Hepworth, Ralph tried, in vain, to engage Miss Hepworth in conversation. He had asked her whether or not she was enjoying herself at the ball. The girl only blushed and whispered, 'yes, my lord.' He soon gave up trying and resigned himself to his mother's conversation.

According to Lady Hepworth, it was her daughter's first ball, and she still had a set of country dances that no one had claimed. Ralph, having been manoeuvred into a corner by her ladyship, felt that he had to ask Miss Hepworth to dance for the second time that evening. Even though it was perfectly acceptable to ask a lady to dance twice, it was well known in the ton that he never danced twice with a lady at a social function. He knew that this dance would cause speculation amongst the other guests about a forthcoming announcement proclaiming a betrothal between him and Miss Hepworth.

He had expected Helen to join Alice and Tom for supper. Even though he could not sit with her in such a public place, especially after their waltz, he still looked for her amongst the guests. However, he could not see her in the dining-room

As his mother continued to talk, his mind began to wander back to when he had first arrived in the arbour with Helen. The romantic setting and the beautiful woman had made the moment special. He had not taken her down there to make love to her. He had just wanted to give her a moment of romance that she would always remember.

He had carefully controlled his own desires so that she could fully enjoy her own. He had taken great pleasure watching her lose herself in the moment. After the kiss, they had stood, her back against his chest, looking at the stars. He felt so close to her, as they gazed at the universe as it stretched out in front of them.

'Ralph,' she had said wistfully, 'I wish this moment could last forever.'

He held her even closer, but he had sensed a change in her that he could not fathom.

'Ralph,' she had said, this time facing him and looking into his eyes, 'before we go, kiss me one more time.'

Ralph had every intention of kissing her tenderly on the lips, but when they met all his carefully constructed control vanished. He felt himself slide into an overwhelming vortex of passionate desire. His mind that had been firmly in control of his body had been defeated, and he surrendered to the glorious sensations he had previously been fighting. He had felt her hands move down his body, igniting his desire with every teasing touch. He was almost at the point of no return. If he did not stop now, it would be too late.

'Don't stop,' she had said, her voice ragged as he withdrew, 'please, Ralph.'

It was one of the most difficult decisions he had ever made, but it would not be honourable for him to make love to her in such a public place. Ralph took a step back, he had to put some distance between them before it was too late. It took several minutes for him to regain control over his wayward body.

When supper was over, he went back to the ballroom and claimed Miss Hepworth's hand for the set of vigorous country dances. Once they were over, he left her in the care of her parents. He was just about to dance another set with another young lady, when Hodgson, his butler, caught his eye.

He went over to Hodgson, who was standing at the far side of the ballroom waiting for him. 'My lord,' he said reverently, 'I thought you should know that two gentlemen came to the house an hour ago.'

Ralph was puzzled. This did not make sense. The house was full of guests, why would Hodgson be worried about two more. 'Yes, Hodgson,' he said, knowing the butler had more to say.

'They were asking after Mrs Wakefield,' he said, looking a little uncomfortable.

Ralph was taken aback. 'Helen, I mean Mrs Wakefield,' he repeated.

'They are in the library, my lord,' Hodgson said.

'Why didn't you tell me sooner,' Ralph said, frustrated by his usually attentive member of staff.

'He told me that he worked for the government, and I was to tell no one that he was here, not even you.'

'But damn it, Hodgson,' Ralph retorted, 'you should have told me sooner. Do you know these gentlemen's names?

'Haverstock,' Hodgson replied.

The name was familiar, but Ralph could not remember where or when he had heard it before.

Ralph opened the door of the library and flung it open. He was not going to knock on the door. After all, it was his library.

He looked over to Helen, who had initially caught his eye and then immediately looked away. The gentlemen, sitting opposite her, looked over to him indifferently and continued to lounge in his chair.

'Huntingdon,' he said, as though he owned the place, 'it is good of you to join us.'

'Haverstock, I assume,' Ralph said, trying to remain calm and hide the anger that was bubbling under the surface.

'Yes,' Haverstock replied nonchalantly, 'and this is my associate, Lieutenant Deveraux.'

A very young man was standing at the other end of the room. He had a book in his hands, and he was flicking through the pages. He looked up when he heard his name and bowed. 'Your servant, my lord,' he said politely and then returned his attention back to the book.

Ralph looked again at Haverstock. There was something very familiar about him, but Ralph could still not remember where he had seen him before.

'I know your brother, Captain Fallbrook,' Haverstock said as though he could read Ralph's mind.

Then Ralph remembered. Haverstock had been Alex's commanding officer when he had been working behind enemy lines in Spain. Under Haverstock's command, Alex had changed from a compassionate young man into a selfish brute who cared for no one but himself.

'Yes,' I remember you,' Ralph said shortly. He had never met Haverstock in the flesh, but Alex had given him an accurate description of the man's look and demeanour. Middle-aged, probably mid-fifties, tall, well-built, with a permanent look of superiority in his eyes.

'Come and join us,' Haverstock said coolly, 'I was just about to fetch Helena another drink. She carelessly spilt the last one on the floor.'

'No, thank you,' Ralph replied.

'Suit yourself,' Haverstock said, as he walked over to the decanters and poured two drinks.

Ralph went over to Helen, who had still not yet looked at him since he had walked into the library. 'Helen,' he said, 'his voice low so he could not be heard by Haverstock, 'you do not have to stay here. Come back to the ball with me.'

He saw her shake her head.

'Please, Helen,' he said, as he held out his hand for her to take, 'come.'

She glanced at his hand, and for a moment, he thought that she was going to take it. 'No, Ralph,' she said quietly, her voice almost inaudible. She took a deep breath and then looked up at him. 'I cannot,' she said firmly.

Haverstock was now standing opposite him. Helen reached up and took the glass he offered. Ralph saw that her hands were a little unsteady as she took the glass. 'To your good health, my dear,' Haverstock said, as he raised his glass towards Helen. 'It is a shame that you will not join us Huntingdon, this is excellent whisky.'

'I've come to take Helen back to the ball,' Ralph said composedly, just about controlling the anger that threatened to break out of him.

'The spurned lover,' Haverstock said with a sigh, 'I'm afraid Helena will not be returning to the ball. In fact, shortly, she will be leaving with me.'

'Helen,' he said, disbelief in his voice, 'is this true?'

Helen nodded. 'Yes, Ralph,' she said, her voice even, 'I will be going with Haverstock.'

'But what about...' he stopped. He was going to say "what about our arrangement?"

'I'm afraid,' Haverstock said, looking a little bored, 'that Helen will not be able to take up your generous offer.'

'Did you tell him?' Ralph said angrily. He was not able to hide the deep sense of anger he felt.

Helen shook her head and looked at him. 'Of course not,' she replied defensively, 'he already knew. He knows everything.'

'Your brother has probably already told you that I make it my business to know everything,' Haverstock said, as he continued to drink the whisky.

'Have you been spying on me?' Ralph spat out.

'I thought that was obvious,' Haverstock replied, his voice cold and devoid of emotion. 'When I was told about the conversation you had at the church, I was touched,' Haverstock said, there was a note of sarcasm in his voice. 'And then by the lake,' Haverstock raised his eyebrows, 'I was told that Helen had not lost any of her charms.'

'You were watching us,' Ralph said in disgust, 'I have a good mind to call you out.'

Haverstock gave one of his rare smiles. 'That, my good man, will not be necessary. If you go about conducting your private affairs in the open, then it should not surprise you to know that someone has seen you.' Haverstock stood up and held his hand out to Helen. 'Now, my dear Helena, we must go.'

'Wait, Helen,' Ralph said desperately as she took Haverstock's outstretched hand. 'It does not have to be like this. You don't have to go with him.'

'I'm sorry, Ralph,' Helen said, as she looked at him. There was a deep sadness in her eyes that depressed him. 'I have no choice.'

Helen turned to Haverstock, who was still holding her hand. 'Please, Haverstock, may I have a private word with Lord Huntingdon.'

Haverstock nodded. 'I'll wait outside, but I will leave Deveraux as your chaperone.'

Once Haverstock had gone, she turned to Ralph. 'Ralph,' she said, her eyes downcast, 'I am so sorry.'

'Helen...' Ralph said, but she cut him short.

'Listen to me, Ralph. I did not tell you everything about my past. When I left Harry, I was destitute. I had no money, no place to stay, nothing but the clothes on my back. I did what I could to survive. I had hit rock bottom. When Haverstock found me, I was nothing more than a camp prostitute. Selling my body so that I could eat. He saved me, and I owe him a debt.'

'But, Helen,' Ralph said, 'that was years ago.'

'When he released me from my debt, he made me promise that I would return if he needed me.'

'But, Helen, surely...' he began to say before she interrupted him.

'He promised me, Georgie,' she said quickly. 'I will get full guardianship of my son if I do what he says. I'm sorry, Ralph,' she said softly.

'Helen,' Ralph said, desperation creeping into his voice. He was losing her, and he felt he had to do something before she was out of his reach. 'I know the type of man Haverstock really is,' he continued, 'he nearly destroyed my brother. He'll destroy you.'

'I know,' Helen said steadily, 'but, he is a man of his word. He promised me Georgie, and I know if I do what he asks of me, I will get him back.'

Ralph sighed. 'Is there anything I can say that will make you change your mind?'

Helen shook her head.

'You have chosen your son over me,' he added, unable to hide the petulance in his voice. He knew he was being unfair, but he felt emotionally raw and just wanted to lash out at her.

'Yes,' she said softly, as she put her hand on his arm. 'Please, Ralph,' she said, her voice barely a whisper, 'do not judge me too harshly. One day, when you have children of your own, you will understand.'

'I think you better go,' he said sternly, 'you have made your choice very clear.' He took a step back, so her hand slipped off his arm.

'Yes,' he heard her whisper. There was a desolation in her voice that made Ralph feel guilty. He knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that she loved him. He also knew that she had no choice. Her son would always come first.

As he watched her walk towards the library door, he wanted to apologise to her and tell her that he loved her. But he could not find the words to say.

Once she had reached the door, she turned around and looked at him. 'Goodbye, Ralph,' she said sadly as she reached up, took the handle and opened the door.