120 | betrayal; steal the solace of death

"There was a sinner destined for ruin."

The delicate vine of the persisting flowers twined around Kaden's finger, happily curling around. They were alive in ways he did not understand, shaking their small leaves lightly.

"A sinner who would paint the world red, living a life scorned and despised. A life that would ultimately fall prey to death and descend into a hell of their own making."

He peered into the cracks of the rubble, refusing to turn around. Papers had scattered around him, falling and mixing with the broken stone. The skies had set into a settling black streaked with pale purple hues.

"The sinner, one day, sought to change his fate. And yet he lost, over and over. Never once had the fool considered an ending where he could find redemption."

It was a colour that could be called beautiful; it was the colour of something foreboding.

"Maybe it was because he couldn't, maybe it was because he couldn't bring himself to consider the idea that he was worth anything, much less worth saving."

"I'm afraid, dear Bellamy," interrupted Kaden hoarsely. "Of all the stories you could tell, that is the sole one I won't listen to."

"That is no longer your story, Chauvet."

Kaden Chauvet had changed. The tale of the sinner certainly belonged to him, once, but it didn't any longer. That was Noah's hope, that was all their companions' dearest desire.

A tale of a sinner who chose salvation.

Noah's gaze bore through his back chillingly, a cold silence settling over them. The dreams had started the first night they slept together as if Kaden's presence slipped into the crevices of his mind and crowded them.

He would only dream of those scattered fragments when the fool slept by his side.

After Kaden's death, he dreamed of them every evening. Sometimes, he would wake feeling an amused annoyance tingling at the back of his head, others he would jerk on his bed, scattering books across the ground as sweat beaded his forehead.

He did not know what the dreams meant. Were they nightmares of losing Kaden, dreams in which everything went to tragedy?

Were they manifestations of his greatest fears, of losing him?

In the dreams, Noah felt a sense of detachment from Kaden, the overwhelming, breathless feeling that tightened his chest, gone. He never realized hos his initial discomfort had become a necessity rivaling oxygen.

There was only Noah, the dragon's son, and Kaden, the much-despised sinner.

There was no Noah and Kaden, together.

When he heard Niklas' words, of a reality that didn't occur but did once, the pieces fell into place.

Noah bent down, picking up a page of paper gently in his slender fingers, and a new story began.

"I'll tell you the story of another fool."

"I don't want to hear it."

Kaden didn't want to be scrutinized, for this dragon to read his soul and intentions, knowing that he was destined for death.

Death was not something he could run from if it chased after him so persistently. Kaden didn't think himself capable of it—even if he resolved to remain by their sides—he didn't think it was possible.

Noah smiled, that faint, tired smile of his. "But you will."

Then, he continued. "There was a fool who pushed everybody away, kept to himself. He feared others, feared being admired, feared turning into something horrifying. He was scared of losing control, scared of every minor thing in life."

Kaden's hand stopped toying with the vine, his breath catching in his throat.

"The man hated the terrible silence that would echo in any room he entered, all eyes on him. He hated the rippling envy and distance that naturally settled between him and the world."

"However," Noah's voice softened, reminiscent as they grasped at the pieces of memory he remembered, and all the pieces he didn't. "There was a particular person who irritated him every day. The silence no longer haunted the man, now plagued by a noise he wished would disappear."

"And when it did,"

Kaden's eyes were wide, digging into the stone. He wanted to cover his ears, to flee the moment.

He did not have confidence that with all those memories, Noah could love him still.

Because this was a story he knew, wasn't it?

"He so desperately wanted to call it back."

It wasn't.

Kaden's hand trembled violently, and the dragon watched him quietly from behind, flipping to another paper. He picked them up at random, but each seemed to tell the next line of the tale.

"The fool found the missing sound that left his life, but the sound had been damaged beyond repair. A mess of tearful laughter—but the fool only saw the tears."

"And yet, he let that precious noise disappear from his life."

"He damned it to isolation, to a hell he wouldn't ever wish upon himself, one he would fear and beg to escape."

Kaden jerked his head back, staring wide-eyed in disbelief. His eyebrows knitted together furiously as he opened his mouth to speak, pulling away from the little vine that clung to his finger.

Noah gazed back calmly, raising a single finger to his lips.

"To begin with, the fool never intended to isolate that person for eternity. But he'd lost in the battle he was fighting, brought back to a prison he thought he'd escaped from."

The moon pulsed off his back, casting a glow to his dark pupils and swaying white-black hair. Where he stood, on a plane higher than Kaden, he resembled an ancient creature speaking old fortunes, every word a whisper of truth.

Kaden trembled.

This wasn't a story of their current relationship in this timeline, Kaden wanted to shout as the knowledge spun dizzily in his head.

This was a story he knew, but a chapter he did not.

"He realized belatedly that the noisy man he'd exiled would be alone for the rest of his life. In pain, no doubt, as that lonely man often wore the buried expression of sorrow when he thought nobody was looking.

"The fool saved hundreds of people, unearthing many schemes and nearly bringing a corrupted crown to the ground."

Noah crouched down, holding the paper tightly in his hand as he met Kaden's gaze, kneeling before him. Kaden leaned back, startled, feeling his back pressed against the uneven stone.

"He was a hero to many, but he was not the only one who could save the people."

"In a twist of fate, however, he became the only one who could save that person. Perhaps it was the wrong decision, perhaps that sinner would've been happier slumbering in death."

Noah's lips continued to move, speaking words that Kaden couldn't trust or believe. He lifted his sharp gaze, and when they interlocked, Kaden could no longer look away.

The papers remained held in his ink-stained hands, but Noah never looked down.

"He considered such things, surrounded by those who loved that sinner. He made a choice. It was a selfish choice. It wasn't for that man's sake—no, none of them were saving him."

Kaden tried to back up further, but Noah dropped the papers, allowing them to drift from his hands and slide against each other, onto the ground.

He reached out, drawing Kaden closer to him. He felt the softness of the pale pink hair, the beat of his rushing heart, the warmth of his living body.

"They were saving themselves. That was the truth." Noah's voice was muffled, low and hoarse. "And in that moment of selfishness, to that man destined for death,"

Kaden stiffened, but Noah held him tightly, burying his head in the crook of the broad shoulders that had been worn down with a burden that was never his own.

"He made a wish to turn back time."

It was an impossible truth.

In that life, he could not bear to think that anybody wanted to save him. Anger, frustration, and sadness twined around his heart.

Kaden knew, back then, that he really did not want to live. Had he found this truth back then, he wouldn't have talked to any of them. He would've coldly rejected any notion of help.

Kaden Chauvet did not want to live.

He regretted his choices and his life, but he did not want to live again. He wanted the freedom death promised. His anger manifested into tension and Noah felt the lines of his muscle, the resistance in his hold.

It was the deepest betrayal.

They reaped him of the promised solace of death and he couldn't even complain, being gifted all the things he wished for as a child, gazing with envy at the families and friends on the streets.

The dragon did not insist on holding him longer, slowly moving away. His head hung low, wisps of hair covering his face miserably, gloom exuding from his scaled skin.

He knelt there, like a troubled child that was to be punished. The amusing thought flickered in Kaden's head briefly, cooling the burst of anger prickling his skin.

He stared coldly at Noah, the noble and proud dragon who knelt before him miserably, waiting for punishment.

Kaden had always thought it would be the opposite way.

"I apologize, Chauvet."

Noah's voice did not waver. It was genuine, honest, knowing.

Once he'd acknowledged the truth of his dreams, he understood in moments. None of them had the right to drag Kaden back to this nightmare. None of them could guarantee his happiness, yet they acted anyway.

"By bringing you back to this nightmare, we deprived you of choice. If you want to live, Chauvet, then I will carve a path for you to do so. If not," Noah's voice caught, an ugly and choked sound escaped that Kaden had never heard from the dragon.

The dragon lifted his dark eyes, staring through the wayward strands of hair. Kaden froze.

On that calm face, a drop of water collected on the edge of his bottom eyelashes. Then it fell, and another came, slowly trickling down his face.

"If not," said Noah again, his voice tight. "Then I will do whatever you request of me."

If punishment was the only way for Kaden to be free from the weight of his sins, both commanded and self-inflicted...

...then Noah would do so. Whatever Kaden requested.

Because the Kaden before him was no longer the same. He was not somebody who needed Noah's comfort and protection—he never was.

Kaden was bewildered, his anger long faded. He felt helpless, slumping his shoulders as he exhaled shakily. His third life had not been a blessing, but a curse.

It was true that he thought so.

But in the wake of Noah's silent sorrow, the warmth that he'd come to learn, the trust of companionship and the sound of liveliness, that curse had slowly become a blessing.

Had Kaden perished that day in isolation, he would not have been resentful. There was peace in knowing an end finally came.

But now, it wasn't the same.

In this lifetime, he'd been introduced to things far beyond his imagination. Things he was no longer willing to let go.

His hand reached out, all scars exposed, and he grabbed the slumped dragon, tugging him forward. They fell back against the stone as Noah's weight pressed against him, head lowered and stiff.

Kaden exhaled again, feeling the tremble in the dragon's body, and loosened the tension in his body, closing his eyes.

"Back then, I truly wanted to die. I looked forward to it. Facing retribution for my sins would've been a liberation."

Noah stiffened against him, and he kept his head lowered as Kaden continued to speak. A crescent moon had emerged in the sky, blending with the shades of purple and black.

"Had anything been different, had everything not played out the way it did, perhaps I would've despised you. I would've despised you, and..." Kaden paused, opening his eyes a fraction. "I would've made it so things ended the way they should've."

With Kaden Chauvet gone from the world.

"But things aren't different."

Noah held his breath, wrapping his hands around Kaden's body, desperately holding onto the person in his arms.

"Right now, Bellamy,"

Kaden, who had been limp, slowly pulled Noah closer. He felt it, the outline of the dragon's body, the light graze of scales, the heat that pulsed under his skin.

At his movement, Noah held him even tighter, if that were even possible. He held Kaden as if he knew how to do nothing else.

Kaden laughed breathlessly, his voice faint.

"...I want to live."

———xxx———

Lukiyo says,

It's so tragic, I was watching a lorax tiktok before getting ready to go to sleep, and tormented my friend with it before lying down. See, my laptop has this little flashing light and I was staring at it for several beats in deep thought (my brain was actually empty) and then I sprung up.

I almost forgot again T^T it would've been really embarrassing, I would have to retire out of shame.

ANYWAYS. What genres are you guys interested in? What dynamics, key-focuses (plot, character development, peacefulness) do you like? I still haven't decided what I'd like to write next...if it'll be published here, self-published (to gather a couple dollars for snacks heh) or such, but I like hearing not specific ideas, but the vibes~

I feel like either the isekai trope (obsessed with), a character who doesn't take care of themselves (love), some tormented but doting or complicated brothers (obviously), at least one of those will definitely exist! (or a character that is a reader, naturally)

See you Sunday! Thank you~