at the breakfast table

FRANCESCA

I FEEL NAKED under their intense stares, even though I’m dressed in a baby blue floral dress that falls past my knees. It’s a pretty dress, with a slight v-neck and a fitted top that flows down. But I feel awkward, like I’m underdressed, even though I’m not. These are clothes Mother herself approved.

I help Mya set the breakfast table. This morning, Antonio joins us in the dining room with his three brothers. It seems all of them are home and awake at seven-thirty in the morning.

“~Buongiorno, cognata~,” Dante greets me when he walks in. But this morning feels anything but good. It’s as if having breakfast together is a requirement.

Honestly, I’m surprised. Father never cared for family time.

The brothers are decent. They don’t give me the bad glances or longing looks I often receive. I’ve been told I’m alluring with an innocent aura.

I don’t really think I’m that innocent, considering who I am. I live with sinners and their sins never faze me. I’m not naive. I never get them caught and I know I never will.

“Francesca.” My eyes snap to my husband, who’s staring at me with a hard look. “Sit down.”

I control my surprise. Father never allowed Mother to sit and eat with him. She ate his leftovers.

I can’t help but glance at the other men in the room, but they don’t seem fazed. Dante is eating while reading the newspaper. Costanzo and Omero are bickering.

Well, Costanzo is. Omero just shakes his head in a bored manner.

Antonio gestures for me to take a seat beside him. The dining table is long. My husband sits at the head, his brothers sit beside each other on his right. I sit on his left.

I’m wary. I’m not stupid. Father played enough mind games with Mother for me to learn. He once put a plate in front of her and told her to eat.

She did and received a brutal beating. I still remember her bloody face when she cried herself to sleep outside the house. It was cold that night.

I shudder at the memory but decide to keep my mouth shut and listen for the next order. I’m no fool.

“Mya!” I hide my flinch when Costanzo yells out.

Mya quickly comes in, wiping her wet hands on her apron. “Yes, Master Costanzo?” Her voice wavers as she keeps her head down. Her black-and-white maid’s clothes are dirty with flour.

“You seem to have forgotten to give my ~cognata~ some breakfast,” his harsh voice fills the quiet dining room.

My hand fidgets as I try to keep quiet. I don’t want any more attention.

Dante looks up from his newspaper. Omero continues eating but I know he’s listening. As for Antonio, I refuse to look at him. Now he’ll hit me for sure.

His brother is mad. I made him mad. He’ll find a way to blame it on me, like Father would do to Mother.

“I-I’m sorry,” she whimpers. I feel for her. This is all my fault.

~No, it isn’t.~

~Get out of my head!~

~I’m you. I can’t, dumbo.~

I inwardly groan and because of my distracted mind, I jerk back when a plate is placed in front of me. I mumble a quiet “Thank you.”

Costanzo seems nice, but that could all be a facade. I can never let my guard down.

My eyes widen when I feel a hand on my thigh. I know it’s my husband from his touch. His thumb rubs circles on top of my dress, making me want to cross my legs and move away.

I gulp as I pick up my fork and start cutting a piece of my food. I eat the way I was trained to—like a lady. Why did I have to be a woman? But I’d rather not die by being a man either.

The boys finish fairly quickly. Costanzo and Omero pick up their bags for high school as Dante and Antonio continue to discuss business.

“~Fratello~,” Omero calls as we all stand up. He hasn’t spoken a word till now. “Parent-teacher interviews are coming and the new principal wants to meet our guardian—you.

“He’s new around here and still needs to learn how things work,” he tells Antonio stiffly. It feels too distant.

Antonio nods. “Francesca will deal with that.”

My eyes widen in panic. He doesn’t even look at me before he leaves, leaving me with the two boys. Dante leaves with him and I’m perplexed whether I should go and hide or handle this like an adult.

Costanzo shrugs. “We have it next week. Apparently, we’ve been causing too much trouble and he’s an idiot.” He rolls his eyes before throwing his arm around his younger brother and waving me goodbye.

Omero leaves with a nod.

That was…odd. The Don is going crazy. If Father found out then he’d kill me. But I’m now the Don’s, right? Father can’t do much.

I decide not to dwell on this any longer. Antonio is probably in a good mood because he got laid and was impressed so he told me to do it.

The more I think about it, the more I believe it. I sigh as I pick up the dirty plates and take them into the kitchen.

Mya is already there, her dark hair up in a bun and her eyes blotchy. I know she doesn’t want to talk to me so I let her be. She’s terrified and I don’t need to make things worse.

“I’ll be upstairs,” I mumble before turning on my heel and leaving.

I’m not too keen on spending my time locked up so I do the one thing I’m not denied.

I call my sister.