the aftermath

FRANCESCA

I’M SORE and can barely move with the numb feeling between my legs, but I know I have to get up and bid the guests goodbye.

Antonio isn’t in the room anymore. He left before I woke. The pain woke me up even before the alarm.

I groan. It feels too dry down there and I don’t like it. With the numbing pain and the disgusting feeling of crust, I’m not in a good mood.

I want to just go back to sleep but like always, I have no choice.

To further disturb me, my phone rings. My fingers twitch as a groan of annoyance leaves my lips. I grab my phone from the glass table and pick up, not bothering looking at the caller.

“Hello,” my raspy and tired voice answers.

“Oh my God! Thank God you’re okay. Where are you? Are you okay? Why haven’t you picked up?” a familiar voice rushes out. My eyes widen.

~Why are you so stupid, Franci?!~ a side of my subconscious asks me.

~But she deserves an explanation. She hasn’t been anything but good to you~,~ my other side reasons. I give in. I know I’m wrong but I don’t really have a choice.~

“I’m fine, Sophia.” I sigh, trying to sound mean but it doesn’t come out that way. I just sound as if I’m just tired and that I need help.

My back hits the headboard as I rapidly sit up. I had forgotten about my discomfort until I moved again. I groan at the pain between my thighs.

“No, you’re not! Tell me what the fuck is going on?! You don’t pick up my calls! I don’t know if you’re dead or alive.

“Please, Francesca. I beg you, if you are in trouble tell me. My father is in the FBI. We can help you,” she cries out. I can hear the desperation in her voice.

My heart warms at her words. She’s the only one who cares. “I’m fine, really, Sophia. My phone was just broken,” I lie.

“I know that you are lying!” she screams. “Your voice always rises an octave when you lie!” She takes a deep breath as if to calm herself.

“Okay fine. Prove it. Come have dinner at my house. If you don’t then I’ll tell my dad that something is wrong and he’s in the police. He’ll find out.”

My heart rate spikes.

“No!” I say, a little too loudly before glancing at the doors only to find them closed. I sigh in relief before I realize that I haven’t hung up yet. “Sophia, I can’t. Please. I’m s-safe.”

I swear at myself for stuttering. I’m such an idiot. Now she’ll know that I’m lying. Sophia is someone I can’t lie to for long.

She’s like my sister. She cares about me more than my own family does. She’s my family, whether she knows it or not.

“Francesca, just once. Please, just visit me once. Then I’ll know you’re okay and won’t bother you. Please,” she begs.

I hesitate. “I’ll think about it. Now please, please don’t call me until I call you.”

I want her to leave me alone for her own sake. “No, I know that you are definitely in trouble. I’ll tell my dad not to investigate you if you come to dinner once. Just once.

“Let me see you just once to make sure you are okay. Please. I know something is wrong. I’ve known for years and I always had this feeling. I should’ve done something about it then.”

“I’ll think about it. I gotta go. Bye.” I quickly cut the call before she can reply. I didn’t know my hands were shaking until then.

My breath comes out shakily. Not wanting to dwell on it any further, I get up to march into the bathroom. “Owwww,” I moan.

The bedsheets fall from my hand when I try to grab the table beside me. I can barely walk. There’s blood on the duvet.

My eyes widen as a soft gasp leaves my lips. I don’t bother to stare any longer. I pathetically walk to the bathroom. I’m glad Antonio isn’t here with me.

I don’t need him to see me as a weak person—as someone who can’t hold pain.

I glance around the washroom before quickly turning on the shower. As the water flows down my body it stings, especially down there. I cool the water a bit.

I don’t need to look in the mirror to know that my body is covered with bruises. I can see his handprints on my arms.

An unwanted sob breaks through me as my body shakes. It’s the disgusting feeling coming after the bliss. The sex was good but I’m not so sure I like the outcome.

The feeling of his seed in my warmth is disgusting. Being touched like that for the first time due to obligations makes me feel like a whore.

I hate myself for not having a choice. But it’s not his fault either. He was raised to believe that women didn’t mean a thing and marriage was just a breeding facility.

I reach down and try to clean it away without my fingers shaking. I can practically feel his presence in the house and I’m too embarrassed to see him again.

Maybe I’m overreacting. I’m probably just another lay for him.

~Be glad that he fucked you and not some other chick ~he~ brought.~

I despise my subconscious sometimes because it’s usually right. A moan leaves my lips as I decide to not see the bad and see the good.

At least I’m not a virgin anymore and I didn’t have to lose my virginity by force, because at one point I did start wanting him to have me that way.

This could have ended much worse for me than it did.

***

“What’s wrong?” I ask Mya as I walk in. She’s blowing at her finger as if she burned herself. “Are you okay, Mya?” It’s a stupid question but it shows that I care.

I wish someone would ask me that every now and then. Not that I’d spill the beans, but it would be nice to be asked.

“Absolutely!” she exclaims, a bit too loudly. But I can see the hurt in her eyes.

I lift an eyebrow. “You should rinse your finger in cold water. It helps.”

Her eyes go wide. “You’re right. I’m sorry.”

“Why are you saying sorry?” I squint at her before moving closer.

I notice her watching my walk, a frown on her face. She doesn’t ask about it. She’s not supposed to, but I think she’s figured it out.

My cheeks heat up. I head to the freezer and pull out a bag of frozen peas. “Here. The cold will help.”

She smiles and murmurs a soft thank you. “So, where is everyone?” I know I slept in, but the house should be full.

I see her trying to hide a grin. “The guests have left, but the Don and his brothers are still here.”

I raise my eyebrows. “When will they be down?”

“Seven, which means I need to start on breakfast.” I can see the exhaustion in her. Dark circles under her eyes, barely hidden by makeup.

They’re not that noticeable, but I’ve got a sharp eye for makeup. When I was younger, I was made to master the art of makeup, so I know all the tricks.

“What happened last night?” I can’t help but ask. I watch her flinch before she places the frozen peas back on her fingers.

She shrugs, a sad smile on her lips. “They’re men. What else would they want from women? But no, I haven’t slept with your husband, if that’s what you’re asking.

“Actually, I was lucky. They brought women last night, otherwise they’d have messed with me. Well, not the Don, but the others, like the older Don.”

Her voice starts off harsh, then turns melancholy. I feel guilty for reopening old wounds. “I’m sorry, Mya,” I say.

“Don’t be.” She gives me a blank smile. “I know it’s tough for you too. I’ve heard the rumors about the wives.”

“Here, let me help.” We find common ground in cooking, and for the first time, I’m grateful that I was taught to master my culinary skills. At least we have something in common.